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Anyone willing to share their experience with individual counselling?

Posted: Aug 2, 2015

Im over 50 and feel like maybe it's time for me. Issues with adult kids, single, emotional.

I'll have to pay out of pocket, but I think it might be worth it.

I'd appreciate any stories or suggestions.

TIA.

;

I found it extremely worthwhile - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
We live our lives in an environment where everyone has certain presumptions, and with therapy one can step outside this closed loop and see things in a new way. A good therapist is very helpful in assisting your exploration. Example to clarify above generality. I had a bully brother who would reduce me to tears with insults at the dinner table. My family called me "too sensitive" and said he was just joking. In therapy I learned his behavior was indeed cruel and my family did not recognize cruelty. This freed me from the label of "too sensitive" and my therapist validated that my reaction was indeed the normal one. Lots of little insights like that wove into a growth experience.

Almost the same thing with me - Not OP

[ In Reply To ..]
All my life I was abused by my sister. I was so tired of people saying "Oh, you two never got along." With therapy you find validation, which in cases like this, is hard to find. No one believes you because the abuser is, in many cases, good to them. There were times I actually thought I was losing my mind. Therapy has done so much for me and has given me the understanding I need to carry on.

Some of the MTSOs have some form of counseling - free of charge via phone

[ In Reply To ..]
I have heard. I have not used it, but it might be a starting point, and more insurance plans seem to be including counseling more in the actual regular plan, with a co-pay, not like you have to be hospitalized as a psych patient to claim on the insurance.

I have considered this as well, but I am always working so freaking much I put it off all the time.

Definitely would also like to hear from those who have done this too.

A thought - OP

[ In Reply To ..]
I am the original poster. Years and years ago, we had a sudden death in the family and several family members were put on an anxiety med for a short time.

Fast forward, years later, and I needed private insurance (which I still have), and even though I have zero medical issues, I was turned down by many companies b/c of that once short (six weeks) time I used anxiety meds.

That is the reason I am trying to pay out of pocket and not have it impact my insurance.

People say that is illegal for the insurance companies, but it IS a reality.

Thanks for your other ideas. Stress from MT does not help my situation. I just feel completely overwhelmed right now.

I found it helpful - But be careful

[ In Reply To ..]
Anyone can hang a shingle that says "counseling." I would go to a licensed psychologist. Many of them use a sliding scale for pay to make it affordable to you. I had great success with the licensed psychologist.

Best of luck.

Thank You - OP

[ In Reply To ..]
for being specific.

I really am starting from square one, so that kind of info I really can use.

I'm looking now.

Agreed 100% - In college now for a LCSW degree

[ In Reply To ..]
The reason I did not go into counseling directly is that they are little more than glorified advice givers. If you are looking for meds they cannot prescribe you anything. I admit I chose social work over counseling for the money (sorry, but I feel I am worth more than $8-12/hour after 4 years in college) but it also will allow me to diversify my practice. Counselors are extremely limited as to what they can do.

Not trying to dissuade you from going to one, as they will be cheaper out of pocket, just making sure you go in eyes wide open.

In summary, if you just want someone to talk to, by all means try a counselor or even a hotline as someone above suggested. If you want intensive therapy with medication you should do a little research and make sure you are working with a psychiatrist or a PA or APRN in the mental health field.

Best of luck to you!!

I think your choice depends - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I have had various contacts through work, friends and personal/family. You need to look for a counselor at whatever level until you find one that you feel comfortable with and one you "click" with. Some people need more TLC, some people need more "tough love" or medication.

There are many places to find counseling. You may have a community clinic, county or city social services, Lutheran Social Services, Catholic Charities, private, institutional, churches, free support groups etc. Insurance has had to change with the new laws regarding pre-existing conditions. That said, you may end up with the diagnosis on your medical record when you go through your medical services.

There is also the Employee Assistance Program many employers provide free for their employees. Normally they contract with a local therapy provider for payment of a limited number of visits.

Lots of experience here - Go For It

[ In Reply To ..]
Throughout my life I, on many occasions sought professional counseling. I am fron a dysfunctional home and also have a strong history of emotional abuse. Counseling has been a life saver for me, and I honestly could not have made it through at times in my life without it.

If you find the right professional to go to, that is the first step. No one has a magic wand to change someone's life, but through counseling you begin to see what you have been doing, and what is and is not working in your life. The support you receive is worth more than I can say.

It takes courage to do what you are doing, and I truly wish you the very best of luck. I think you will be thanking yourself for making this decision.

My Advice - TJ

[ In Reply To ..]
I think if you've had life-long serious emotional and/or mental issues, then a licensed psychologist is the best way to go. For situational things (which yours kind of sounds like), a licensed social worker is perfect. They are very good at getting you over the bumps, where as the psychologist might do some more "digging" if you have had chronic problems not having just to do with a current situation.

A psychiatrist is mostly for medication management--and for those who are seriously mentally ill. If you really need medication, the psychologist would likely refer you to a psychiatrist (or perhaps your family physician, depending on the problem) for a prescription and medication management.

I did not have a good experience with religious counseling. IMHO, they should stick to counseling regarding religion, not emotional problems, because you can't pray away a problem. I was also made to feel guilty about feeling angry at certain things. I went to the guy once, and never went back. It messed me up pretty good.

Best of luck to you. Don't force yourself to "click" with a therapist. It either happens or it doesn't. Obviously, it can take a while to trust someone, but if anyone ever belittles you, tries to make you feel guilty, or just isn't engaged, then you need to move on to another.

My plate is full. - OP

[ In Reply To ..]
I think that is mostly my issue.

I guess I doubt I am looking for meds, and I don't have serious issues from childhood that I can think of really.

I just feel overwhelmed with it all and the piling on, and the piling on continues (death in the family yesterday) and mostly not by the fault of anyone, including mine.

No sure what they can do to help. I do belong to a large church, but am not going to start with that route.

I may start with a counselor and move on up the ladder if I feel like that really isn't what I am looking for. Oddly, I have no idea what I am looking for. (Relief?)

Thank you for your thoughts.

SUPPORT - SM

[ In Reply To ..]
When you are overloaded, support is so important. I posted above under "Lots of Experience." I try to handle my own affairs no matter how difficult, but each of has a point where we need additional insight and support to weather the storm. Good luck to you!!

Finding someone you click with... - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
is important, as someone else mentioned. I have been to several counselors over the years and some I have only gone to a couple of visits and realized they were not helping me. If this happens to you, please don't give up on the whole idea. Try someone else until you find the help that meets your needs.

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