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Definitions for Conservatives


Posted: Dec 1, 2009

Have you ever argued politics with a conservative counterpart and felt as if you were speaking two different languages? Well, you were. In order to bridge the divide, we have developed some definitions in the hopes of making things a bit easier.

con-serv-a-tive [kuhn-sur-vuh-tiv] -noun: A liberal who has not yet figured out how to think for himself/herself.

def-i-cit [def-uh-sit; Brit. also di-fis-it] -noun:  The amount by which a sum of money falls short of the required amount, which only matters when a Democrat is elected to office.

fil-i-bus-ter [fil-uh-buhs-ter] -noun: The Republican's health care plan.

sen-ate [sen-it] -noun: an assembly or council of citizens having the highest deliberative functions in a government, easily manipulated by a single Senator from Connecticut who craves power and attention.

sur-plus [sur-pluhs] -noun: A thing of the past.

con-sti-tu-tion [kon-sti-too-shuhn, -tyoo-] -noun: the system of fundamental principles according to which a nation, state, corporation, or the like is governed. Used to discourage health coverage to others, and promote guns. Frequently used as buzzword without ever being read by person using.

stim-u-lus [stim-yuh-luh s] -noun, plural-li: A trip to Argentina for a visit with your mistress, which could potentially cost you your job as Governor of South Carolina.

di-ver-si-ty [di-vur-si-tee, dayh-] -noun-plural-ties: The state or fact of being diverse; variety. Best adhered to by publishing ten rules and excluding everyone unwilling to abide.

gov-ern-ment [guhv-ern-muhnt, -er-muhnt] -noun: something evil and ineffective that needs to be limited to giving tax breaks for the rich, subsidies for powerful interests, and wars fought by the middle and lower-classes. 

hy-poc-ri-sy [hi-pok-ruh-see] -no results found

;

Q&A for libs - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
Question: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and Carville?
Answer: One has a Radio Show and is the most listened to in America and the other is a loud mouth bald liberal looser.

Question: Why can’t liberals find facts?
Answer: They aren’t looking for any.

Question: How do liberals brain cells die?
Answer: Lonely.

Question: How do you confuse a liberal?
Answer: You don’t, they are born that way

Question: If Hillary, Bill and all the liberals are on a sinking ship, who gets saved?
Answer: We do.

Question: What’s the difference between an Iraq terrorist and a liberal?
Answer: The Iraq terrorist makes fewer demands.

Question: What’s the difference between liberals and cow pies?
Answer: Cow pies stop stinking after awhile

Question: Did you hear about the new liberal agenda.
Answer: They got two hands in your front pocket and two in you back pockets.

Question: What’s the definition of a liberal genius?
Answer: A liberal who can count all 50 states.

Question: What do you get when you cross a Jackass with an onion?
Answer: A whinny Liberal.

Question: How is being at a Democrat convention different from being at the circus?
Answer: At the circus the clowns don’t beg and whine at you.

Question: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: It takes ten, nine to deny that darkness exists and one to hire a Republican to change it.

Question: How much does a Liberal cost?
Answer: Nothing, Liberals have no values.

Question: How many chromosomes does a Liberal have?
Answer: Only 45, they are missing the “Truth Acceptance Chromosome.”

Question: What is the difference between Liberalism and Communism?
Answer: The Communist admit it.

Question: How high can a Liberal’s I-Q go?
Answer: Only as high as the Liberal Spin they receive.

Question: Why do Liberals lie?
Answer: It comes natural

Question: What is a Liberal’s primary “feeling?”
Answer: Envy.

Question: What is a sure way to teach a Liberal to fetch?
Answer: Tie Bill Clinton’s picture to a stick and throw it.

Question: Why do flies fly over Liberals heads?
Answer: They have crap for brains.

Question: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
Answer: They are the ones burning the American Flag.

Question: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
Answer: They are the ones burning the Constitution

Question: What is the difference between a Liberal and a bucket of old cheese?
Answer: The bucket

Question: What is the difference between giving to the poor and giving to Liberals?
Answer: The poor don’t follow you around for three weeks whining for more.

Question: Why did God make Liberal smarter than rats?
Answer: He didn’t.

Question: How do you drown a Liberal?
You paint Bill Clinton’s face at the bottom of a pool.

Question: Why do Liberals like smart women?
Answer: Opposites attract.

Sad but so, so true. Excellent post... (nm) - Thank you, made my day

[ In Reply To ..]
:) :) :) :)

this is so lame - browser

[ In Reply To ..]
I love a good joke same as anybody - even if it is on me. This collection sounds like it was written in the cab of a rusty pickup truck outside a diner in Alabammy.

Excellent - and so true. - Thanks for posting. (nm)

[ In Reply To ..]
x

TOUCHE' - LOVE IT! - NM

[ In Reply To ..]
..

The original post made lots of people laugh.... - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
....so why are some here offended by the one that slams libs? What, only republicans are allowed to be made fun of? What, you don't like stereotypes either? Don't like it that conservatives have finally had enough and are striking back? Guess what? We ain't gonna take it anymore. Sorry about your luck. Have a nice day.

Would you get a life? - Stop it with the

[ In Reply To ..]
What, so only so and so? What, so it's okay when? People are stating what they think. It has nothing to do with, "what, so it's okay when the other side does it?"

Wrong it has everything to do with it. - anontoo

[ In Reply To ..]
What the poster said was the truth. It's okay when libs are attacking pubs, but you sure don't like it dished back. Sorry but the conservatives are not going to quietly sit by. Sorry to disappoint.
Man, you just don't get it at all. The it's okay - when stuff
[ In Reply To ..]
is completely pointless. We all know it's okay with you when you post things against the libs. We all also know that it's okay with libs when they post things against conservatives. When libs post things, you say stuff. When conservatives post things, libs say stuff. The, "oh so it's okay when" posts are just silly and more gradeschoolish than the actual jokes and derogatory remarks are. We all know that the other side isn't going to like it. That's why you post the stuff isn't it?

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