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long hair on women over 60?

Posted: May 26, 2010

I think it is much more flattering and stylish to have hair that is no longer than shoulder length at the very most. How can I convince my MIL of this? It just drags her face down like you wouldn't believe.

;

Why not let your MIL decide how to wear her own hair... - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
Does she tell you how she thinks your hair would be "much more flattering and stylish"? I would be offended if someone told me I should cut my hair. I figure that if I wanted short hair, clearly, I would have it.

this is what I was thinking. Let her do her own thing. - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

Age is a state of mind, hairstyles reflect that too - leave it be

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I don't get it when people try to stuff everyone of a certain age into a certain fashion box. I didn't go for the soccer mom hair when I was that age and I'm not going for the short, teased and blue-rinsed churchlady hair when I'm that age either. My mother has literally let her hairdresser tease her bald. Whoever made the "rule" that if your age is X you have to dress like Y and have hairstyle Z can kiss it - they're not the boss of me. Long hair is so versatile, you can wear it up, down, and any combination.

It sounds like you want your MIL to look more attractive for you - you're not the one married to her. Maybe your FIL likes it long. Some women simply don't play the "dressing to please other women" game. But if you MUST go there be prepared for it to go both ways - I bet there's a thing or two about you she might like to change as well.

I agree! I may be over 60, but with long hair, I still - wear scrunchies & barrettes from the kids dept!

[ In Reply To ..]
Heck, I still buy most of my clothes in the Juniors' section at the store. Most of the stuff I see in the Womens' section is frumpy at best, or worse, would make me look like a corporate wannabe. And I still prefer shoes from the girls' section, with stars and sparkles and pictures of Tinkerbelle on them to the dowdy "sensible shoes" someone my age is apparently supposed to wear. I like stuff that's fun, young, colorful, and flattering. (But above all, FUN.)

I don't prefer shoes from... - Deb

[ In Reply To ..]
the girl's section but I have no choice as I wear a size 2-1/2 to 3. I hate it!! It's hard to find anything without stars and sparkles and Tinkerbelle's and Barney's but I manage.

Don't think it is any of your business how your MIL - wears her hair. NM

[ In Reply To ..]
x

long hair on 60+ - tootsie

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I am 60 years old and my completely gray hair is down to my waist! I will not cut it as I love it being long. I was "forced" by my mother to always wear short hair when I was a kid and I hated it. I would NEVER let anyone tell me what to do with my hair, or any thing else that I choose for myself, especially at age 60! I have lived long enough to earn the right to do whatever I want with my person. What gives you the right to interfere with your MIL's obvious preferences???!! shame on you!.

I would never tell anyone how I think they should wear their hair - see message (a nicer message than above)

[ In Reply To ..]
While I agree with all the posters above here's my thoughts....

Hair is a very personal gift we have. We know how we feel on bad hair days and how a great hair do makes us feel. Maybe you should complement your MIL on her hair and see what she says. If you say, *** I really love your hair, it always looks so shiny or healthy (or whatever you can think of), then I'm sure you will learn whether or not she likes or loves her hair or has been thinking about a different do.

I just turned 50 years old. I would love to have long hair like I did growing up. My hair used to be down to my waist and I had gorgeous natural curls. It was thick and healthy. Now I no longer have the natural curls, its thin (and getting thinner) and I can never do anything with it. It's the length of where my collar is, but how I would love to have the long hair I used to. But if anyone did comment or tell me how they think I should wear my hair I would be insulted.

Love your MIL for who she is. Her hair should mean nothing to you. We are not all "open" to others criticism of how we look. And if I criticized my MIL on her hair my DH certainly would have words with me and tell me its none of my business. Also, what may not look flattering to you, may look absolutely beautiful to her husband and other friends. Everyone's taste is different.

I would never tell her how she should wear her hair - mt

[ In Reply To ..]
unless she asked for my opinion. However, there is a reason that professional stylists will tell you otherwise. Just look at older Hollywood stars as an example. I'm just using them as ONE example, so please don't jump all over me. There are some very beautiful women (inside and outside) who CHOOSE to let their stylist create a flattering style based on their own individual head shape, facial shape and age factors. I don't think I've ever seen an older woman with hair below her shoulders in Hollywood. Hmmm???

I am not talking about an emotional connection to hair such as the poster above who was forced to cut her hair by her mother. That is a completely different issue.

I had this conversation about hair with my own mother recently, and that is why I am bringing it up. She asked me what I thought of her hair (which is usually chin length), we discussed it, and I told her what a thought about women over 60 with hair below their shoulders when she asked me about my opinion on that. I just think it looks classier and sharper that way. Seeing an older women with very long hair just makes me wonder why they feel they need it so long? Just to put it up in a ponytail or bun most days? That is what my MIL does, and I just don't understand it. I know it's her hair, and she should do with it what she wants, but if she ever asks for my opinion, I will give it to her. We have a very good relationship and have talked about many different things in the past. My husband certainly would not get involved with a hair discussion. lol I would never insult her, but I would definitely tell her what I thought. Too many women beat around the bush for fear of offending someone. We need to be honest with each other. The other person can choose to do what they want with the advice, take it or leave it.

My MIL has a beautiful personality, and I just want to see her shine in her very best light outwardly too, that is all. She complains about her aging face and probably does not realize she could get somewhat of an instant facelift just by changing her hair and how it frames her face.

I don't think I jumped all over you - my apologies if my message did - see message

[ In Reply To ..]
I tried not to write anything jumping on you (seems like enough of others did) and my apologies if I did. Maybe I should have proofed my message before I sent it. I didn't meant to. Maybe what you could do then is for a gift for her b-day is give her a gift certificate to a really nice stylist. However, every one is different. I have a stylist who I tell I'd like my hair shorter and pulled back because I think my longer hair makes me face feel drawn down and tell her to do what she thinks would make me look the best, and she never cuts it as short as I want it. She spends a long time curling it and stuff, but she always keeps it long.

If my hair was manageable and beautiful at a long stage I would love it and would grow it long. I just love long hair and miss the hair I had in my youth. I love having it long because you can where is so many versitile ways. A pony tail, bun, french braid, the possibilities are endless. Seems like once I cut it in the military it just never grew back.

no, not at all - mt

[ In Reply To ..]
my comments were really directed at the entire thread in general. I just chose to put it under your post because your title was fitting with what I wanted to say. No harm done. Thanks.

mt - sixtysomething

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I have long hair, to the middle of my back. It is stylish and flatters my face. My sister has her opinion of how I should wear my hair, and says that if I am going to have it long, then I should dye it also...

How I wear my hair is my choice. I love it and I love and embrace the white that is gradually taking over. I get offended and defensive when my sister tells me what to do with my hair.

How about you let her wear her hair the way she feels comfortable and good about it. Why should she conform to "your" standards?

My hair is 10 inches below my waistline and I get - yochana

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at least 3-4 compliments every time I go somewhere by both men and women. I wear it down all the time.....by the way....I am 53.

do you dye your hair? Mine is long and I don't dye yet but have some - whities and wonder if I should. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

to dye or not to dye - tootsie

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Let's put it this way...once you start, you cannot stop, particularly if you have long hair, because once you do it, you cannot undo it. you have to let it grow out. so, unless you want to look like a two colored head for six years, or cut your long tresses, I would not advise it!

I started dying my hair at 27 due to early "whities" (as you put it). I stopped dying my hair at 55 for two reasons...one, it damaged my hair tremendously so that it was nothing but "fuzz" which did not even resemble real hair and looked horrible. secondly, since I had been dying my hair for nearly 30 years, I had no idea what my real true color looked like any longer. I let it grow out natural and was pleasantly suprised to find all gray, nearly white, very pretty natural hair. It is a matter of personal preference of course, but I would always advise against someone dying their hair. Dyed hair can never truly take the place of natural, shiny, healthy hair, no matter what the color. Do not be afraid of those "whities." They give a person character! I love my gray hair.

Good luck to you, no matter what you decide.

thanks, I think I'll leave it natural. - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

Mine is light brown, and although I dont cover the - grays, I do highlight a lot. (sm)

[ In Reply To ..]
The lighter the hair, the harder it is to see the grays. As I get older and more grays come in, I may go with coloring it a lighter color such as dark blonde or sort of straberry blonde.

I agree. I do not want to be rude or insult anyone - better: nameless

[ In Reply To ..]
but I also think that women over 60, or even earlier, should not wear long hair, especially if it is gray.

Honestly, it creeps me out.
Sorry, that's how I feel and nobody can blame me or change my feelings.
I do not want to post what associations I have when I see an old woman with long gray hair!

It's fine to think it,but the difference is that.. - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
the original posting was asking for advice on how to convince the MIL to change her hair. People have different preferences. For example, I think that very few women (young or old) look good with short hair. That is my preference. Would I ever tell someone with short hair that I think long hair would be more flattering or stylish for her? Absolutely not. I understand that in a later posting, the OP said that she would never say anything unless asked, but then why the need for ideas on how to convince the MIL to change? Perhaps, I just misunderstood here post. I think that very few people are trying to look bad, so it is usually best to keep our opinions about one another's hairstyle choices to ourselves because, thankfully, different people have different ideas of what looks good.

true, one never knows why a person chooses a - long hair

[ In Reply To ..]
particular hairstyle.
It depends on the kind of hair, shape of the head, shape of the face, etc....

But, in general, older women do not look good with long gray hair.
This is proven by the fact that only a few older women wear their gray hair long.
It depends on the relationship one has with his/her MIL. If it is cordial, like the OP's, and wearing the gray hair long, is unflattering for the MIL, like in OP's case, I would suggest to her, in a subtle manner, to try out a different hairstyle.
It is not rude, it might be to her advantage.

I disagree... - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
It is all preference, and just because you might think it is unflattering, does not mean everyone does. I know many women with long gray hair. My great grandmother always used to tell me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which was her way of telling me that the beholder ought to keep her mouth shut about things that she finds to not be beautiful.

I really should let go, but the OP mentioned - omg

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that wearing her hair long, "really drags her face down..."
Why not give her MIL some polite suggestions, she might even welcome them.
Being honest does not always mean being rude, the contrary, being overpolite, always agreeing, and "diplomatic" is often more comfortable and being hypocritical.

I absolutely agree if we are speaking of something... - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
important, but something as trivial as a hair style is a stupid thing to alienate someone over.

So what about Cher? - She is over 60

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To you people who keep claiming "no" older celebrities have long hair - some women look good with long hair no matter what their age.

Cher? What is left of the real Cher? It's all plastic, - lol

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when she smiles her face does not move.

I would not call Cher good looking, anymore.

Im over 60, have almost waist-length hair, and - I also streak it with pink and purple. nm

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X

you go girl! - Confused

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I always think why older women have short hair... always, like it is a law or something...

I believe I will NEVER have short hair... of course, mine might get too thin and all fall out :) I'm only 29, but I think it's totally awesome for older ladies to have long hair, in fact I wish my grandmothers did. What is creepy about it? what is wrong with it? who cares what other people think about it! that's the lifelong lesson ive learned it doesn't matter what others think. your own happiness matters most!

Long hair is also cheaper! No time or money - spent at the beauty parlor! ;-]

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

long hair on woman over 60 - msjane

[ In Reply To ..]
if it is flattering, wear it long, if not maybe it should be cut. however this is up to the individual.

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