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fighting kids
Posted: Jan 19, 2012
My daughter is 13, son is 10. They pick at each other constantly about the littlest thing! This afternoon I sent them out to shovel snow and my daughter came in crying and said she would go out after her brother was done because he called her an idiot. Told her she was not an idiot and called him in and told them both to not talk to each other while outside. Now it is not even 6 o'clock and they are in their rooms for the night because I am out of options for punishment. Any new or creative ideas? Have tried making them sit next to each other holding hands, talking to them separately and together, threatening corporal punishment (won't happen but they don't have to know that), grounding them, sending them to their rooms. This has been going on for a couple of years and is driving me CRAZY! I am in my 10th hour of work for today and not likely to finish for another 3 or more because we are so backlogged so that stress isn't helping and just at my wit's end all the way around.
;
I have 2 girls who fight a lot - sm - XXX
[ In Reply To ..]Generally I take away things they love, computer time, cell phones (no I did not get them, BIL did, I was against it), TV, dessert, sleepovers with friends, etc. Hit them where it hurts basically. Mine can drive me absolutely up the wall when they get bickering but for the most part they get along (11 and 13, soon to be 12 and 13). I make them see both sides of the story and they think about it and apoligize to the other (usually). So nothing creative. You could put them to work doing chores that need to get done but never get done like cleaning lights fixtures, scrubbing the walls especially around light switches, the panels on 6-panel doors. Might make them think twice about picking on each other. Good luck.
I guess it all depends on the kids, but - my daughter who is
[ In Reply To ..]around this age is really in to clothes and makeup. I was given a suggestion by someone to buy some really cheap khaki pants or cheap off-brand jeans, cheap plain shirt and ground her from her clothing and makeup. This was actually coming from a therapist, and although, I haven't had to do it yet, I could tell my daughter was not happy with the suggestion. As far as boys, I have a son that is 10, and taking away his video games would be the world's worst punishment.
BTDT - sm
[ In Reply To ..]My girls were 19 months apart. Fight, fight, fight - over everything. "Don't touch me. Don't touch my stuff. Get out of my room."
First of all, I never took sides. Every argument seemed to stem from something that happened beforehand, and that one was due to something before that. My response was, "I don't care what it is about, or whose fault it is. STOP IT." I would not listen to the bickering. Yes, it did happen a lot, but they would do it where I could not hear. My husband used to make them go outside on the deck and he said, "stay there until this is over or resolved." Siblings, especially those close in age, have been fighting forever. It is normal, although quite annoying. I have often said that parents with an only child do not qualify as a real parents (kidding) if they do not have to put up with this stuff.
Funny, one night my husband and I got into a disagreement at dinner. We kept going back and forth with our points of view. When it started to get a little heated, one of the girls said, "Both of you, out on the deck until this is over or resolved."
LOL, mine are 19 months apart too - sm - XXX
[ In Reply To ..]so it can get nuts. Mine have the same issues, "don't touch my stuff", "don't go in my room." "don't use my Kindle/PSP" (one has both and the other doesn't...though think she wants a kindle now). They co-own together the Wii which they purchased themselves and it is in the older one's room so that causes issues sometimes, I threaten to put it in the dining room (which is more like the "play room" as I have a computer in there (my backup) and a table for them to do projects on, sewing table and an easel. She does not want me to move it as she loves to play it in her cave of a room, has a pretty cool set up. So if things ever get really bad out it will go and she knows that. The younger is more sharing but can be super nasty and sarcastic for her age. No issues on clothes really since they are different sizes, though my older daughter gets upset when I accidently give her sister her one of her shirts which I sometimes do (and the younger wears it knowing it is not hers). Definitely is interesting at times as well as wearing.
This is not really a punishment here, but when they are really being pains I separate them, each goes to their room and I tell them no electronics rest of day/night have them read. They both love to read so it is not a horrible punishment or anything but it quiets them down and they get done the books they need to read for school early that way. Both are usually always ahead on that but every now and then they cut it too close for my comfort. It is a good way to restore order here and get the quiet I need to work when they are home at breaks and in the Summer too.
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