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SHOWER/GIFT OPINION NEEDED

Posted: Apr 20, 2011

My DD shower is a few weeks and thirty people are coming to the shower and 30 people are not (probably because they live two hours away). My question is ten gifts have come in the mail for her. Would it be okay to have DD and fiance open the presents at my house and not bring them to the shower. DD's sister who is MOH and giving the shower feels there will be thirty gifts that will be opened at the shower and if the other gifts are opened at the shower it would drag that part even longer. What do you think?

;

I don't think it really matters. - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
I think that I would let the bride-to-be decide how she wants to do it, but it probably is fine either way. Good luck to your daughter and her fiance. Enjoy the wedding!

I'm no Peggy Post, but... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I would think it would be fine not to open the other 10 (or more?) at the shower. Those people won't be there to see their gifts opened/appreciated anyway, and it is a time-hog, imo.

I Agree - Not Peggy Post Either

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm no Peggy Post, either, but I don't think the people at the shower should have to sit through the opening of that many gifts of people who won't be there and they may not even know. I think it's even excessive for anyone to have to sit through the other present openings, anyway, because eventually people want to get socializing but feel rude while a present is being opened.

SHOWERS - OP

[ In Reply To ..]
Thanks to everyone. I am glad that you feel the same way as I do. The shower is only three hours long and it would be fun to at least socialize. My daughter's future mother-in-law is bringing 25 gifts from herself (I just found out when my DD emailed me). The future mom-in-law told her. That means 30 people have to sit through 55 presents. I told my DD I am going to look like a cheap mother and she said no you are going to look normal. My daughter thinks that is too much to bring to her shower and takes away from the guests.

Sounds like the future MIL just wants to show off - a bit NM

[ In Reply To ..]
x

Wish my MIL would show off like that :D - no message

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

Showing Off - JC

[ In Reply To ..]
I was going to say that about showing off, but I didn't.

I am curious, though. Maybe I'm out of the modern loop, but when did bridal showers become a gathering of 60 people? Used to be, just the Maid/Matron of Honor or close friend invited the wedding party, some family members, and a few close friends and had a surprise at someone's house or a small rental hall. I personally would not want to feel obligated to a shower gift PLUS a wedding gift unless I was very close to the bride and/or grrom.

I AM hoping all these people invited to the shower are also invited to the wedding. I was once invited to a shower, but not the wedding, and felt it was just a way of the bride-to-be to get gifts.

MIL showing off - Maybe not wait and see

[ In Reply To ..]
When I had a bridal shower for my DIL to be I bought a clothes hamper and I filled it will all kinds of essentials, clothes hangers, swifter sweeper, cleaning products, sponges, dish detergent, stain remover, dryer sheets. All kinds of stuff that you need to start up your household but add up to alot of money. I guess if I wanted to count them individually I could have said I had 40 gifts for them but it doesn't mean they were gifts like mixers, toasters, crock-pots, etc.

She may just be trying to add a hint of suspense to what she is giving the bride to be.

HERE'S WHAT WE DO (sm) - Yochana

[ In Reply To ..]
All gifts that are received before the shower especially if she registered at several stores - we unwrap them and display them throughout the house where the shower is held. We display the gifts in the bedrooms (on the bed) in the den, kitchen, etc and each gift has the giver's name on a small card. If the kitchen or dining room is not used during the shower we set the table with the bride's dishes, silverware, pots, pans, etc. Then the only gifts to open are the ones brought by the guests. If the guests arrive early we unwrap their gifts also and display them. Makes for a much more social event and the bride doesn't have to sit there and unwrap presents all through the shower. There is a local store with a bridal registry and they wrap all the gifts in clear cellophane with a huge white bow. That way, the bride doesn't have to unwrap the gift, but can see what it is. Have fun, fun, fun.

PS. Tell future MIL to come early (but don't tell herwhy) and then unwrap all her gifts and display them. LOL

Showers - Original poster

[ In Reply To ..]
Thanks to everyone. My DD MIL does like to be the center of attention. Anyway she invited 40 people to this shower who live 2 hours away from my DD. She promised they would be coming so we had to find a venue large enough. We invited 15 because we have a very small family. Only 20 of the 40 are coming. I gave her every opportunity to have a separate shower in their state but she would not.Yes they are all invited to the wedding. My DD explained to her that you cannot invite people that are not invited to the wedding to a shower I know she invited them just so they would get a gift because some of these are the MIL
work friends that do not even know her son. She has invited 170 people to the wedding and so far 40 have declined. She invited people she has not seen in years. We invited 80 and have had two declines.

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