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People come to visit and act like they own the place?

Posted: Sep 16, 2010

Spouse's daughter and her family are here from Florida again and I don't think I can handle it.

They take over my house. No consideration for the fact that they are GUESTS and not permanent residents. Use my collectable cups instead of the everyday ones, hoard the towels and use them over and over (YUCK) and for some reason have a problem shutting the cupboard doors completely. And I won't even mention that they have an aversion to turning off lights and run the tv in their room until midnight. They also rearrange the furniture to suit themselves.

What ever happened to being considerate of the people who LIVE here full time? I never would go to someone's home and do these kind of things.

;

Talk to your husband and if he won't say - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
anythign to them, just put up your cups when they are coming. Who cares if they use the same towels over and over, less laundry (we use our towels more than once), rearrange the furniture back to the way you want it when they leave the room, turn out the lights after them. As for the TV, it if it bothering your sleep, politely ask them to turn it down.

Without your husband's support, I personally would not say anything to them as it could cause hard feelings between you and your spouse.

Haha- if it were me, I would probably give them OUR - dirty towels to use, and keep the

[ In Reply To ..]
clean ones for us! I agree with putting the good china away. Invest in a lock for one of the cupboards.

Maybe you could hook up the power to the TV on a timer. After a certain time of night, the TV goes off and won't turn back on.

Or, you could get a really long cord for it when they're there. Run it along the wall, out the door, and into an outlet in YOUR room. When "TV curfew" time arrives, pull the plug and go to sleep. Heh, heh.....

re: Guests - mama leoni

[ In Reply To ..]
OMG! I know what you mean! My son and his family do everything you say, but what really galls me is how they LOCK MY DOG OUTSIDE!! They do this because he jumps up on the sofa and beds snuggles everytime someone sits down or goes to bed He is a very small, furry dog and WE don't mind at all, but apparently the "fur" bothers them. (we have 4 cats and 2 fuzzy dogs and we vacumm all the time...)

His wife also dyed her hair BLACK, used my guest towels and didn't even clean up the spots on my ceramic tiles in either the shower OR the counters. DH was FURIOUS.

There are times also that they do laundry AFTER we have gone to bed. The noise from the machine keeps me up. They run the AC 24/7 on high too.

We had a talk this past week that they dropped in. His wife was a bit miffed, but son seemed to understand. Said that he just sees coming back home as an opportunity to be lazy, (kind of like when he lived here...) I said that those days are long gone, i understand the desire to be lazy and not clean up after ones self, but that kind of thing is better done in ones own home, not when you're a guest!

They're coming AGAIN this weekend for another long weekend. We'll see how it goes.

ps. When I go visit, I NEVER feel right about even leaving a cup out of place! I even clean up their house, do their laundry, keep the grandson home, cook AND clean up after their cats! hmmm... I know i didn't raise my son this way, don't know what happened there! oh well, lets see how this weekend goes!

Guess you could be glad they feel at home - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
When I go to my parent's house, I am never made to feel like a guest. I am always made to feel like a member of that house. This isn't like some friend coming to visit. This is your spouse's child. Really, the things you are complaining about may be annoying but are very trivial things. I would definitely be very careful of what I said to my spouse or his daugther about it as people are very funny when it comes to their kids. I mean, if they were living with you, that is one thing, but for a short visit, I think I would just suck it up and maybe ask if they need another towel instead of the dirty one or maybe just turn the light off when you see it on.

Causing a big stink over it could really bite you in the hinny with your spouse, especially if the daughter doesn't feel welcome anymore.

Yep, I agree - Dont raise a ruckus

[ In Reply To ..]
I have an adult daughter and my hackles go up if my husband even remotely says anything CLOSE to criticizing her (even though I agree that he's right, he's not the maid and she should clean up her own plates, cups, etc., but to hear HIM telling her that makes the "mama bear" in me come out, claws bared, LOL!).

People are very territorial in defending their child, and if she (your husband's daughter) feels you're "picking" on her, she might complain to her dad, who in turn will confront YOU, and it could cause a huge rift in your relationship.

For the good of your relationship with your husband, suck it up no matter how annoyed you are, give silent thanks everyday that they don't actually live with you, and keep on smiling...

Hate to say I agree with above. If you were the Mom, whole - different story. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
x

I agree....they are NOT guests - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
They are members of the family, so they SHOULD, in fact, treat your home as their home. Now, if they are using a special cup that you don't want them to, you could just say......"Hey, that's for looks" or something, but feel happy they feel welcome:)

I agree too. Ever heard the saying, - KiwiCat

[ In Reply To ..]
"don't sweat the small stuff." You want to start a family feud over a cabinet door left ajar?

Don't be the wicked step mother.

OMG, there was a HUGE discussion about using towels - more than once on another board. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
x

Hate to disgust anyone but we use our towels - sm - (guess I am a dirty mt)

[ In Reply To ..]
more than once, generally only 2 x as there are four of us and if we used them only once then 7-8 towels would need washing 3-4 x a week (and no we don't shower daily either, every other day unless we are particularly smelly or dirty). What is wrong with some conservation of towels and water. Obviously if the towel stinks we don't re-use it, but generally can get 2 uses out of one towel. I was raised on a well, and have a well now, it is smart to conserve especially in drought which right now where I am we are on the edge of, have a burning ban currently it is so dry. We also turn off the water while soaping up the hair, saves a lot of water that way.

That makes two dirty MTS - oaf

[ In Reply To ..]
We use ours more than once too. They don't smell, they aren't dirty - why waste water and electricity!!! It's not like you are dirty when you come out of the bath folks.....

But as a woman, you dry "down there." Then next time dry - your face with same towel? nm

[ In Reply To ..]
x

Why not, if its my face and my "down there"? Used - towels are the least of my worries these days!

[ In Reply To ..]
...

Duh, if you just took a shower, everything is "clean," so - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
using the same towel twice should not get it "dirty." I have 2 towels - one for face and hair, the other my body, and use them 2 or 3 times--all you are doing is drying water off your clean body.

Uhh....I use a separate towel for my face, that is - sm - (guess I am a dirty mt)

[ In Reply To ..]
when washing face in morning or during the day (small hand type towel), and when I get out of the shower the first thing I dry is my face, so your thinking does not factor in there, and as someone else pointed out, you are clean.....and on a personal note, I just blot, not digging into crevices down there.

To blotter. If use towel twice, then 2nd time you dry face first - towel still was used down there first. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

Just wondering. When you wash yourself, do you do the diggin' - into crevices then? nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

For goodness sake people... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
you aren't giving yourself a gynecological exam when you dry off! Those who are aghast at the thought of only using one towel are probably the ones who might use one towel for "down there" and another for everywhere else but probably don't wash their hands after using the restroom, double dip their chips or cough or sneeze without covering their face.

Since you just have to know.....yes I clean myself - sm - (guess I am a dirty mt)

[ In Reply To ..]
thoroughly everywhere (even use a washcloth sometimes)....and rinse well, but you don't need to dry all that well there....it is a mucous membrane last time I checked. ---as for the grammar police up above, understand the word you are using before you "correct" someone--- (blotter-- (1)a piece of blotting paper (2) book for preliminary records------blot--(1) spot, stain (2) obscure, eclipse (3) disgrace (4) to dry or remove with or as if with an absorbing material (5) to make a blot

Oops, sorry you didnt understand and had to use the - dictionary. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

Oh I understand....you obviously don't though - nm - (guess I am a dirty mt)

[ In Reply To ..]
x

Personally, the crevices are my favorite part. - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

LMAO - you got a snort laugh out of me!! - Funny!! see message

[ In Reply To ..]
Personally, I do dry my crevices. There's nothing worse than a chapped a** from not drying! :)

I always have 2 towels... - 2 towel Tina

[ In Reply To ..]
I have one for "up there" and one for "down there." I didn't always do this, but as I have about double the towels I truly need, I do this. One for my face and hair, one for the "nether regions." I was raised on ONE towel, but a clean washcloth every night.

I had a friend who said that if you rinsed out the washcloth, it was okay to face to rear and back face the next night. Now THAT is disgusting...and filthy if you ask me.

Same here! - Old part-timer

[ In Reply To ..]
I also use one towel for my face and hair and a second towel for the rest of my body. I do re-use my wash cloth, but that's because I only use the washcloth for my face.

I honestly didn't know anyone DIDN'T re-use towels. The only time I take that luxury is in a hotel. If we used a new towel every night for everyone, I would be doing 3-4 loads of towels a week!

For that matter, even in hotels now, they encourage you to hang up and re-use your towels to "save the planet".

I do the same - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I have a washcloth mostly for my face, but if it gets used for what someone else charmingly referred to as "crevices" then I replace it. The towel for my hair is also to dry off my face. Then I have a "body towel" for everything else. Three uses and into the wash they go. I would probably use them twice but I feel that too many loads of laundry is wasteful and expensive, so I take the so-called risk by reusing towels.

I think I saw that discussion, too! - It turned into a war LOL

[ In Reply To ..]
Absolutely nuts. People get very upset about towel usage!

Maybe next time you could suggest that maybe theyd - "be more comfortable" in a motel?

[ In Reply To ..]
xx

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