A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

Need some advice, help, brains, you name it .... (sm)

Posted: Mar 30, 2010

My daughter and future son-in-law have decided to get married within the last couple of days and have set a date for June 28th, 2010. They are both in law enforcement, he is in the National Guard and is being deployed to Iraq in December. They want to get married in his hometown, his various family members are ill and unable to travel, which is about 3 hours away. Throw in the short time for planning and now the 3 hour trip, is there anyone out there that has been through something similar and can throw me some advice? His hometown is a very small town but they are known nationally for their rose gardens, which is where they want to get married and it is FREE, some good news, lol. Should I try and find a wedding planner there to help organize things since it is 3 hours away? They are paying for the majority of the wedding with help from her dad and I but they want it to be simple and as inexpensive as possible. Of course the great thing about having the ceremony in the rose garden is that there is not much of a need for flowers. :)

Any advice would be greatly welcomed!!

;

Depends on the size of the wedding - Some planners cost a lot $$

[ In Reply To ..]
I had the same problem. I sat down with my daughter and went through a complete and total list about what she wanted, the size, the $$, what was important to her and what was not. We did not use a wedding planner. It was Christmastime so the place was already decorated. We had a friend do the catering and tables with centerpieces we bought. The most expensive thing was the photographer.

If it is a small wedding, you, she, and some family members can do this yourselves. DELEGATE who does what and when. Make a time-line so everything comes off in order.

Nice weddings do not have to be expensive. THE MOST IMPORTANT thing is to not stress and to have fun. I told my daughter that whatever screw-ups happens on your wedding day, let it go! It is probably too late to do much about anything anyway and at that point, no matter who planned it, it will be what it will be - just make sure she actually has FUN!!! You can do so much with smaller, more informal weddings. Anything goes. Make sure you have fun too, Mom. I will always cherish the memories of shopping for that wedding dress. We had a ball.

no planner needed - Giz

[ In Reply To ..]
I can tell you that a wedding planner is not necessary. I planned my wedding in a month or two from 6 hours away. There are books available to help you plan, but I didn't use one. My nephew's fiance has one, which is the only way I know about it. It's basically a wedding planner journal.

Best of luck!

wedding - PT MT

[ In Reply To ..]
I planned a wedding where my parents currently live (4 hours from where I live) with a lead time of 6 months; however it was at Christmastime. Having a summer wedding is going to require you and your daughter to get on it quickly, especially if you are looking for a reception site. After that is set, you and she or just she could go to the town and make appointments for the rest. Try to pack as much as possible into that trip. That is what I did....photographer, DJ, cake decorator, flowers, musicians, party rental (for chairs/tent) etc. You might need a rain plan. I don't think you need a planner....just ask your daughter to ask her future father-in-law for suggestions. If it is that small of a town, everybody knows everybody;) I agree the size of the wedding is very important to nail down first. That will help you as you work it through with the budget. Congrats!

Go to OrientalTrading.com.....look at their wedding section - Beautiful AND affordable!

[ In Reply To ..]
This will help with that aspect of it. Hire a local baker in that town and florist....rent a space (is there one at the rose gardens?) and you're ready to go. You really don't need a planner....

Been through this twice. - Consider a planner

[ In Reply To ..]
My brother and his second ex-wife (let's just say he has relationship issues) were married very quickly as he was being deployed in the first gulf war. I also had a friend go through the same thing at the same time. (She's been happily married since 1990.) In both of those situations, even though the weddings were small, there were still lots of things that needed to be done. The bride and groom called in all sorts of favors to get things done quickly, and they were very dependent on friends and family to complete tasks, some of which were done and some of which were not. On the day of the wedding, there were still vendors who had to be met with and paid, deliveries that had to be coordinated, questions from the caterer about food and seating, etc. Had there been a planner involved, there would have been just one person acting as the point person for all questions, payments, vendor interactions, etc, thus leaving the bride, groom and their families to totally enjoy their day. THAT is the main job of the planner.

Sure, you can manage all the details of a small wedding. You can throw the party, but you will be working through the ceremony and reception, because every little question will come to you, the bride and groom, and whoever else is taking part in the planning. It's much simpler to work with one person. In addition, the wedding planner will have relationships with vendors in the area and has lots of experience with pricing and quality of services provided. I think it is money well
spent.

If I were you, I'd sit down with the bride and groom and discuss exactly what you want, the budget, and any other things you know about possible vendors, etc. Write it all down, every little detail no matter how insignificant it may seem. Then do some research on planners in the city where they plan to wed. Meet with some planners and bring your "vision list" with you. Those meetings should be free consultations, as you are interviewing the planner for the job. The planner will tell you what he/she can do for you and at what cost. At that point, you will be able to really compare what you are getting for your money. But until you speak with a planner, you can't really know if it's a good idea to hire one or not.

I've been to lots of weddings over the years, and I can honestly say that the ones that involved a planner, whether they were small or large weddings, were generally smoother, more organized events, and afterward, the married couple always says it was well worth the expense. But do know, that in all of those cases, they did research and spoke with several planners before they chose one they could work with.

Good luck, and have fun!

No wedding planner needed - Angel

[ In Reply To ..]
I planned my second wedding in a month and had finals too and was taking care of my mom going through chemo therapy, but I did it. It can be done, first of all choose the place, find out pricing, dates, etc. Write a list of all that are invited keeping in mind that 20% will not come, especially if out of town. Choose the attire, tuxes, etc, wedding dress can be found even through craigslist but bridal house is the best for dresses, they know their stuff. Catered? Interview caterers, they will provide menus and ideas of decor, flowers, etc, that's their job.

Decide on little things like flower girl, hiring a beautician friend to do makeup and updo, hire a student from photography school look at their portfolio to see what kind of work they do. When you decide on the one, make a list of all the mandatory pictures for them to take that you do not want to miss. Decide on if you want the ceremony videotaped. But, most of all relax and enjoy, this is such a happy event and it is over before you know it, the ceremony will fly by and hopefully the marriage will be forever, Good luck.

Thanks to all that posted, it is greatly, GREATLY appreciated! (sm) - Victoria

[ In Reply To ..]
Thankfully things have changed a bit since I posted. My daughter and future SIL have decided now to get married in the town where we live, thank goodness, and that, IMO, is going to make things a lot easier.

Okay, I have to admit that I have not been involved in a wedding since my own almost 30 years ago. I have helped "cater" 2 weddings over the years but the extent of my involvement was helping to cook food and then serve it. I had no idea just how expensive these things are, lol. Just a venue will cost you a whole bunch of pretty pennies.

We sat down last night made out a guest list, decided on a venue, talked about the food, music, colors, flowers, etc., so we are going in the right direction. The post for OrientalTrading.com was fantastic! They had already picked out a memory candle from Michaels, I believe, for $44.00 and they have the same candle at OrientalTrading.com for $19.99. We have managed to find lots of things on this site and have placed the first order this morning.

Fingers crossed this will go off without a hitch and without breaking the bank because trust me the bank is almost broke already, lol.

Thanks again, you guys are fantastic!!!

Glad the oriental trading suggestion was a hit! They - have soooo many great things (affordable)!

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

Similar Messages:

Feb 19, 2015
How does: I explained this to him and he would like to proceed turn into this: I explained this to his buttocks and he would like to proceed ...

May 23, 2012
We have all know personally the suffering and fear caused by our wages being repeatedly lowered. It is nearly impossible to find adequate insurance through group plans offered. Constantly seeing complaints of no overtime pay, no work, no paid days off. We went from being respected professionals making $50K and up 10 years ago with good health care plans, retirement plans, paid vacation and sick leave. This has happened because big corporations swallowing up all the small compani ...

Jun 19, 2013
I love coming here because I can always find years of experience in dealing with all kinds of issues, as well as good, solid, honest advice. Here's my dilema: I work in an extremely busy medical office that is run by a very, very green, young office manager (a very close, personal friend of the doc from waaay back when, who has eluded that she may be an ex...). She is a very weak manager and would sooner throw anyone of her staff under the bus than accept accountabil ...

Mar 29, 2013
No ordinary American cares about their Constitutional rights. What a real *** he is. ...

Jan 05, 2014
I have officially heard it all now... ...

Jun 12, 2014
http://newswithviews.com/Schwiesow/jim209.htm ...

Mar 28, 2011
Ever since I moved, I get terrible seasonal allergies. I have a runny nose and am sneezy for weeks and weeks. My face itches, my ears itch, even my forehead itches!!! Anyone have any advice on how to help allergies???? ...

Mar 22, 2011
I was bored and decided to tamper with my hair (my favorite fashion accessory). I spent the weekend bringing it from a deep mahogany to platinum. Damage was minimal considering it was an at-home job with my husband I the "colorists," lol! I know with this new hair color change I need to amp up the makeup so as not to look faded out. I've dug out a few of my "bolder" colored lipsticks instead of the nude lip I usually used as a brunette, but was wondering if any other blon ...

Mar 22, 2011
Hi all, I just needed a little advice. My sister called me last night and asked me to watch my 2yo niece while she and her husband and her 13yo daughter went on a cruise in June. I told her that I couldnt because the 3 days that she wants me to watch her are days that I work. Keep in mind, I have a 13yo, a 4yo, and a 16mo myself which I work at home with and it is difficult. I just dont think that people get how hard it is even though Im at home. Anyway, so I told ...

Dec 11, 2009
Good morning...I need some advice and at this point any advice is welcome :-) I have a 5 year old energetic, funny, sweet little boy who is in kindergarten. I just had a short meeting with his teacher yesterday who said that she is having some real issues with my son in class. She says that he is very disruptive and acts silly all day. She says that he is not mean by any means and is very sweet, but he just simply will not concentrate on the task at hand but would rather ...

Jan 15, 2010
I've been living with a guy for 12 years. There are some aspects of his personality/behavior that are positive. However, he has a habit of mocking me at just about every opportunity, belittling, that kind of stuff. When I get upset he says he "was being funny." He likes to contradict me in public when possible and point out negatives - not so much about me specifically but demeaning comments about things like my dog or my hobbies, etc. I ask him to please not do these things in public but i ...

Jan 19, 2010
I need advice on what you would do in my situation. I'm so upset about it and my husband says not to do anything and basically dismissing it. I'll try to make this as short as possible. My family has been best friends with another family for about ten years. They're just like family. We do everything together. This past weekend their 16 year old daughter stayed over because she had a track meet and the rest of the family was going away for the lo ...

Aug 27, 2011
I wanted to see if anyone has some advice on what to do on a situation I am having with my ex-husband's girlfriend. This past Monday morning my apartment complex called me and told me that they received a fax the evening before that I wanted to be treated for bedbugs! I told them that I didn't send a fax and didn't have bedbugs, and asked her what number the fax came from. She wouldn't tell me. She then asked me why I didn't leave my phone number on the fax only my addre ...

Feb 10, 2010
Ok, here goes.... My husband drives a truck. When he comes in his dad (who is divorced and lives with his mother who is in her 80s and I guess you would say has no life) comes over. Well, no problem there except he don't know when to leave. LOL He comes around 10 or 11 am and stays until 10 or 11 pm. Then the next day he is back again unless he is working and then he comes after work. I don't mind him coming to visit every day when my husband is in ...

Oct 25, 2010
Our family was planning a trip to Disney World this summer and then I decided that maybe we should go to California (where we are from) and go to Disneyland, that way grandparents can come. Since then, my MIL has taken it upon herself to plan out ourentire vacation, starting with trying to make our motel reservations on the drive there and ending with making them on the way back. If she were just being nice, it would be completely different, but really, she is just being controlling. ...

Jul 22, 2011
I'll try not to make this too long, but I have an 18-year-old, soon to be 19-year-old son who just told me a couple months ago that he is gay. I was shocked, but not totally, as I had suspicions before because he never really showed much interest in girls. Anyway, I told him I love him no matter what and that did not matter to me. it took me a couple months to get over the heartache of it, though. His dad doesn't know yet, nor his younger brother, as I told him ...

Jul 18, 2011
I am having some issues with my boyfriend. He has not been working for a while now and I have been paying rent/bills/groceries all on my own. No big deal, it has to be done, but what I am having a problem with is his bi-weekly "allowance". He needs his own money to spend, and I understand that, but no matter how much money I tell him I am going to give him, it is never enough. He is never happy with what I give him (usually a couple hundred dollars). I never sp ...

Apr 05, 2011
I need some advice about my sister-in-law. We are going to her house next week for three days. Well, she wanted my husband to help her buy some power tools and teach her how to use them and put up a trellis. So that was the plan for Friday. I was okay with that – didn’t feel too left out. Now she has made other plans for Saturday that I don't want to do. How do I politely tell her I’m not into spend ...

Aug 18, 2016
Just got on line to check bank account held jointly with fiance. I see a charge on a credit card that I don't recognize (plus a service fee charge). Questioned him about it a couple of days ago and got vague answer (s). Today, I called the 1-800 number and asked what kind of businesses they billed for. I was told a wide array of different things. One of which could be porn videos. Not happy at all as I do NOT want this in my house. Why can ...

Sep 02, 2016
Asking advice here. My mom is in a nursing home. They provide great, compassionate care, and there's a waiting list to get in. I'm grateful that she's in a place we can afford, and it's only 3 miles from my home. When the need arose, I got her a wheelchair, which Medicare is still paying for. It was a brand-new chair that was fitted to her petite frame, and she was able to propel herself with her feet. About 6 weeks ago, I noticed that the chair in h ...

Jun 13, 2010
I am separated from my husband and soon divorcing which is actually a very good thing for my son and me. We were under a lot of stress, pressure and difficulties with living in his house. But my son grew up with his kids and he has not told them anything about us never coming back. I tried to get him to go to counseling, and despite many of my friends warnings even went to our pastor which just made things worse, b/c my husband works under this guy as a pastor too. ...

Jul 25, 2012
Cat people, should I take in a neighbor's cat? In a nutshell: We thought this "stray" was hanging around our yard last year. I talked to her and she let me pet her. Nasty winter weather came. We couldn't take her in because we have an old blind cat who tries to fight her off sometimes. So I went door to door with her picture, looking for her home so we wouldn't have to take her to a shelter. Bingo. She "lives" a couple houses away. The woman there was very nice, has a sec ...

Nov 17, 2012
Hi all, I have been offered a position in the front office of a medical facility. I am probably going to take it. While my problem will not weigh into my not taking it, I need some advice on how to handle something. Way back when I worked in a large office, there was ALWAYS something going on where they wanted everyone to chip in financially for something. Somebody is having a baby, somebody's somebody is having a baby, somebody is having a birthday, somebody is retiring ...

Aug 11, 2016
Well, I went to a job fair yesterday, had to go back and my daughter went with me and we both got jobs! Problem with mine is it's only seasonal till Feb. Of course, if the job continues and I've done well through the training and the actual job till Feb., I could possibly still have a job. Better pay right off the bat and $1.00 for EVERY HOUR worked till Feb. bonus in Feb.!!! I need my high school diploma or transcripts and can't find them anywhere! My transcripts are with m ...

Nov 01, 2013
I need some opinions about whether or not to try to contact my father who I have not seen in about 30 years. My dad left when I was nine and moved out of state. I think I saw him one time not long after that. The last time I even spoke to him on the phone was right before I graduated high school. He had wrote me letters and sent cards for a few years after he left asking me to come visit, which I never agreed to do. We didn't have a very close relationship even when we lived in the ...

Jan 13, 2014
I would appreciate any advice on how to sell Hummel figurines, etc. My stepfather wants to start clearing out a lot of things in preparation for the future, and in the event I would move in with him at some point. My mother died four years ago, and during her lifetime she bought a lot of this sort of thing, along with the colored glass in yellow, green and blue. I have never sold anything on eBay, and don't know how to go about getting a decent price for these items. ...

Jun 21, 2014
I don't know if I need advice or just want to vent. My husband and I enjoy having close friends over, going out to dinner with them, doing get togethers and other such things. Out of 4 couples, 2 of the couples are so dysfunctional that it makes me crazy. No alcohol is involved here, so we can't even blame that. I don't claim to know what goes on behind closed doors, but when we're all together, it's the women who fly off the handle at their husbands for the stupi ...

Jan 27, 2015
My cat is hiding underneath my neighbor's shrubs and will not come home. He is afraid I will keep him inside so he doesn't trust me anymore. He stayed out all night last night and I finally saw him this morning. I tried coaxing him, bribing him with food, and he just ran away to find a safer hiding spot. He got into a cat fight on Friday and got a small puncture wound. I kept him in on Sunday to keep an eye on the wound and he was not happy about it. That's why he doesn' ...

Jan 30, 2015
I have a problem with my ear. When my pneumonia started, one day I had what I thought was the starting of an earache. Then that went away and I ended up sick just with the pneumonia. Okay it has been 28 days since my first day in the hospital. My ear has been stopped up since then and I have tried Claritin, Auralgan and Cortisporin Otic drops. Nothing is working. What could be wrong with it? I never have problems popping my ears after a cold or getting water in them. I didn't g ...

Mar 17, 2017
Need some advice. Here's what happened (by the way, I'm a 25-year MT veteran, which is why I'm posting here). I was unwell at work about 3 weeks ago, and it was determined that I should be admitted. Treatment lasted 8 days, and I feel great now! My doctor said I should apply for FMLA (famliy medical leave) since I took off more time than my employer's policy allows and may have further absences in the future. My doctor completed the form and signed ...