A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

I know I should be thankful, but charity kind of makes me feel like crap.

Posted: Dec 20, 2011

I'm a single mom trying to make ends meet. I live paycheck to paycheck. Here lately I've had money issues because of car problems that needed to be fixed, necessary wiring and plumbing repairs in my house, etc. I do good to get my bills paid and put food on the table. A couple of weeks ago, my church brought me some groceries because of a comment my daughter made at children's church about us not having much money. Then I went to a Christmas party this weekend where my friend and her mother-in-law and husband were giving me advice and offering help. And today, I got my mail and there were two Christmas cards one of which had a $100 gift card in it sent anonymously and written in the card was a message that basically said I have no one taking care of me and it breaks "their" heart and that I should take the gift card and do something for myself. Well, I broke down crying. I was touched, but I also was upset because apparently I'm totally pathetic.

I'm the type of person that doesn't really care what people think of me, but at the same time I don't want people to pity me. Does that make sense? So now I'm totally depressed wondering how did my life get so far gone and when did I get so pathetic?

I live in a very small town and so everybody knows everybody's business and I was married to a real loser who was in and out of jail for alcohol related offenses and bar fights. So the whole town knows my business. They know that my ex-husband never took care of us as he should have. Basically, I took care of him like I take care of my kids. Finally, I wised up and kicked him to the curb. I don't date. I'd like to, but I keep putting my social life off until "I lose weight" and feel better about myself which basically never happens.

So all this Christmas charity has really made me feel really, really bad. I mean I'm really touched, truly I am. The idea that there are kindhearted people out there willing to help out a total stranger is heartening. I had been thinking that most of this town only gossiped about me and no one really gave two hoots expect to talk about me over morning coffee at the local cafe. So to know there are people who actually discount the rumors is a nice feeling. However, I really would prefer not to be pitied.

Anyway, I just really wanted to anonymously cry on someon's shoulder. So thanks for listening.

;

I understand how you are feeling about this, and - I bet that there are SM

[ In Reply To ..]
many others who find themselves in your situation feel like you do. All over the country, people are in shock about what has happened to them, through no fault of their own. Keep in mind that it makes people feel good to help someone, to give money, gifts, or time. It brings about a feeling of content (almost) to be able to help someone else. Remember that at some point in your life you may be able to help someone else, pay it forward, right? It is really very kind, accept it gratiously, and pay it forward one day. :)

I have been where you are... Sm - Old Woman

[ In Reply To ..]
and I understand exactly how you feel. But please do not take these good people's good intentions as pity. From the sound of things, there are some folks in your town who realize just how hard it is for a single mom to make it these days and just want to help. Please accept it as that and nothing more.

I know, also, how you feel about feeling like you are the object of everyone's conversation....Feeling as though people are talking about you behind your back and judging you. I have often felt that way myself, but then I realized that they probably were not, and if they were, well, then they just had a really good topic of conversation!

What I am trying to say is that, when we feel the worst about ourselves is when we tend to feel the way you are feeling now. I know times are tough for you and there isn't a lot of money, but please do something nice for yourself. Even something as simple as a new top or a piece of costume jewelry that sets off your eyes or a pedicure will make you feel so much better about yourself and, in turn, will help your daughter feel better about herself. She is watching you and taking cues from you, whether you realize it or not.

I hope things get better for you soon.

Charity - sweetestpea

[ In Reply To ..]
I can understand how you feel when someone helps you, like the gift card. There is no need to feel pathetic. It made the person feel good by giving you something and you should take that money and do something for yourself. Buy something you would never normally buy for yourself.

Charity - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
I am exactly in the same shoes as you are. I'm a single mother, 2 kids, 1 is a college student (on the Dean's list!) and the other is 11. We received charity this year for Christmas and we also live in a small town. It's not laziness that got me in a financial bind. It's all the changes in MT work unfortunately. I also haven't had a car for 2 months because of an $800 repair that I am paying off a little at a time out of each paycheck. The charity did make me feel a little odd at first, but then I got to thinking. I've helped a lot people over the years when I have been more financially stable. Maybe I should accept this graciously, as I guess it's my turn to need help for a change. If it is any consolation, being a single parent and honest about my struggles at times has really influenced the kids. My son is very responsible, takes care of his own college money, and gets terrific grades. My youngest is very generous. She gave her dollar to a kid at school the other day that wanted a ice cream on their ice cream day because she didn't want any and he had no money. Use it as a teaching experience, and remember keep trying, this is on temporary and everything will eventually turn out fine. Merry Christmas!

be thankful God has sent wonderful people - mt3

[ In Reply To ..]
into your life who care enough about you to help. I too have been in your shoes. Three years ago I was in the process of losing my home and didn't want anyone to know about it as I was so ashamed (as if losing my job was my fault...I didn't invent voice recognition!) but all the same when the news finally came out (thanks to one of my kids in Sunday school too) I was overwhelmed by the support of my church, not only financially but spiritually and emotionally. God sent me a new place to live and I had so many people show up to help me move and get settled in it was such a blessing. It was very humbling but I have come to realize that often times God shows his love for us through His people. They are helping because they love you and want to make things easier for you. When you are financially able you can do that for someone else. I know it probably doesn't seem like you will get to the point you can help others but you will, and it will mean that much more to you when you do because you can honestly understand what they are going through. Just please don't look at their generosity as pity.... it's just God's loving pouring out of them to you.

I call mine Angels - PayItForward

[ In Reply To ..]
In 2009, I lost my job, I was having some sort of neurologic events (no health insurance to find out what was going on), my mother was placed in a dementia home, was a single mom and had no food in the cupboard. I had made peace with the fact that I was half a month away from eviction and had even decided what things I could put in my car where my child and I would live. And then I got sick. I was in the hospital for 4 days and had 2 surgeries.

When I got out, God sent me angels to help me. A neighbor took my child to her house so I could rest. That neighbor gave me a $100 gift certificate. My estranged sister stepped in and helped with food and rent money. There were others that came once they knew my situation. I got called back to work.

It was overwhelming to see His hand at work. Now I am in a much better place and I can help others. I'm trying to teach my child how fortunate we are and how we should help whenever and where ever we can. You may find you can pay it forward one day, too. Now, I can see when I am receiving a miracle and receive what is offered in the spirit it is being given. Just open your eyes and your heart and feel that love for you.

Here's what I do - wheres_my_job

[ In Reply To ..]
I have a super generous friend - and I let her pay. I do nice things for her (I'm currently painting her a cheetah on a piece of cardboard, because she really loves cheetahs!, and I also did a drawing of her deceased mother's teapot) - just not things that cost a bunch of money. I only have access to a crappy undependable car - so I let her drive when we go somewhere. If I give her money for gas, she figures out a way to give it back to me. I used to tell her "You are too generous," and she doesn't like that, so now I say: "You are SO generous." She has so overwhelmed me with her generosity (I am frickin broke a lot, after bills), I just say thank you. I also give money to Salvation Army, Haiti, etc, when I can scrape together a pitiful 5 bucks, and also at the grocery, you can donate to help provide groceries for "those in need" (those destroyed by global capital, outsourcing, drug or alcohol addled family members, health issues, etc) - I give five dollars, or sometimes 1 dollar!! One measly dollar!

I also read a poem by Irena Kelpfisz, about how when she was little, hiding out with her mom during the Holocaust in Poland, they happened to encounter another Jewish woman, just by happenstance - so this other woman, started to makes sure that Irena and her mom got more food sent to them, by whatever mysterious means it could be procured and delivered, because it was the Holocaust in Poland.

My point is - just take the help that is offered, and say "thank you." And whatever you can do to help someone else, just do it.

YW, but don't feel bad about accepting a helping - sm - XXX

[ In Reply To ..]
when you need it. Just about everyone needs a step up at times whether it monetarily or emotional. I try to keep good karma flowing as I tend to have more bad luck than good, though of late it has been more good than bad for a change. So I have been on a closet cleaning binge of late and have been taking clothes to a local shelter. I had not realized they had a clothes "closet" until recently, I thought it was just a food bank and medical clinic. So instead of taking my stuff to Goodwill or the Salvation Army, my daughters and I have been sorting thru clothes, etc. and we took a large load about 2 weeks ago, and tomorrow I am taking a huge pile of coats tomorrow. These get handed out to those who need them for free. I hope the recepients don't feel bad about accepting help. I have never had a problem accepting anything anyone gives me whether it is hand-me-down clothes to old furniture. I am very happy for the help. If I made less I would also get any help I could from any local programs. Don't let your pride stand in the way of getting help, in time you will turn it around and then you can help others in whatever way works for you.

Similar Messages:

Jan 11, 2013
This video takes it to the end. I saw a portion of it on the news today, but they didn't show the ending. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/australia/9795040/Snake-on-a-plane-reptile-clings-to-aircraft-wing-for-500-mile-flight.html ...

Nov 22, 2011
Seems like everyone is so down in the dumps these days. Let's see how many things we can find for which to be thankful. You can list as many or as few as you want, and it can be anything that makes you thankful. Join me? A - Apples, air conditioners, aprons B - Bible, best friends (I have one of the very best), blue C - COFFEE, cats, calla lillies D - Doctors, Diet Coke, daffodils E - Electricity, eclairs, everything F - Faith, family, friends. G - God, ge ...

Jun 12, 2010
Last night my niece and her 13-year-old daughter were on their way to a family member's high school graduation. My niece was in the passing lane and noticed that drivers in the right lane were weaving as if to avoid something. In a flash without warning a deer hit my niece's car. The front end of the car was completely demolished. With the impact the windshield broke and the hood of the car popped up. My niece was at that point unable to see anyt ...

Mar 01, 2012
Posted earlier today or last dark time that one of the Romney's daddy or Jr donated an entire fortune to college education. I did not verify the information. But I do think that was an extraordinarily snobby thing to do. I guess he thinks everyone should be remade over in his image. That might not be so bad because he is handsome. Dont be fooled by his slick appearance. He is nice man to his family, but must be a snob. What he did to those people in the companie ...

Nov 24, 2010
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - New claims for jobless benefits last week dropped to their lowest level in more than two years while consumer spending rose in October, pointing to a moderate strengthening in economic activity. ...

Jul 12, 2012
friends. ...

Jan 29, 2014
My niece received a text from her son at 3:30 a.m. Monday. The text read simply, "Out of Afghanistan." Dylan is now on his way home from his second deployment. My sister-in-law and my niece are flying out to reunite with him Thursday in North Carolina. Sending out a huge thank you to all our men and women in the military! ...

Oct 15, 2009
In response to Keith O's idea of conducting free health care clinics in the states of dem legislators who are reluctant to support health care reform, progressives have donated $600,000 so far. The clinics are being scheduled. Dr. Oz is one of the many health care volunteers. Progressives put their money where their mouths are. ...

Nov 21, 2012
My son has been volunteering for a charitable organization and all he really wants for Christmas is to have the money which would be spent on him donated to the organization. I am happy to do that, but I would like to have a way to present the donation to him as a gift so he will have something to open along with everyone else. Does anyone have any unique ideas of gifting such a thing? Thanks in advance! ...

Jun 12, 2017
"Eric Trump funneled hudnred of thousands of dollars intended for child cancer research into the Trump family business, according to a Forbes investigation this week -" Please note that this is not a NYT investigation or CNN or the WAPO, it is Forbes, a conservative business publication. Draw your own conclusions. ...

Dec 19, 2011
I must say after doing some reports where people are not near as healthy as I am I am thankful for that. I can't help but be depressed though because Christmas this year is not much at my house. My husband lost his job in October and got another one in November (thankful for that) but it is only part time. He may go a week without any work or work everyday some weeks. But mostly he hasn't got to work much. We are doing all we can to keep our heads above water much less buy Christm ...

Mar 25, 2012
for part of the pipeline. Regardless of how he feels about continued use of oil for energy, he's gotta admit that it will at least put Americans to work....and God knows we need that. However, I still don't get why he talks about green energy and opposed this pipeline for the longest time before agreeing to it....when he funded off shore drilling in Brazil. I guess I don't get the double standard there. We give aid to Brazil for drilling and yet Obama seems ...

Nov 28, 2013
My Health Loving husband Job, income, insurance Decent vehicle Warm safe home Happy dog Family Friends Food As much as I hate MT at times, I am very thankful for having everything that I do have because I know I could always have less. I may not have everything I want but I am still Blessed :-) ...

Jun 09, 2017
http://resistancereport.com/news/eric-trump-bad-news-scamming-childrens-hospital/ ...

Aug 05, 2016
World Vision, the world’s largest evangelical Christian charity, has been charged in Israel with funneling tens of millions of dollars to the military wing of Hamas, a designated international terrorist organization affiliated with the Muslim Brotherhood. The arrest was made June 16, according to the Israeli daily Haaretz, but a gag order on the case files was lifted Wednesday and Halabi was indicted Thursday. The indictment reveals details of how Hamas infiltrated Federal Way, Washington- ...

Oct 30, 2010
A Startlingly Dangerous Letter from an Ex-Muslim I was born and raised as Muslim. My whole family is still Muslim. I know every genetic code of Muslim. I know Islamic brain. I live and breath with them. I am an insider. I left Islam when I understood that Islam is a sick and evil religion. Following are the Islamic message to the West. You will be impressed when you meet a moderate Muslim personally. As your next-door neighbor, coworker, student, teacher, engineer, professionals you ...

May 25, 2010
I wake up, what day is it?I'm driving down the road, what clothes did I wear yesterday???Questions like that pop in my head a weird times and then I blank out!I remember eventualy, but it freaks me out for a moment. ...

Nov 07, 2012
There are many books about the fiscal cliff coming. I thought it was just the United States, but it is the world worrying about the United States, even China. Obama cannot get congress to agree with anything. Too divided. http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/07/business/obama-global-business-reaction/index.html?hpt=hp_t2_6 Fiscal cliff is triggering automatic spending cuts and tax increase worth $7 trillion over a decade. http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2012-10-29/congress-and-fisca ...

Oct 19, 2016
...their bus takes a dump on city street and into storm drain. HAZMAT had to be called. EWWWWWWW ...

Mar 29, 2010
http://crooksandliars.com/logan-murphy/sean-hannity-being-attacked-right-mor ...

Jul 29, 2016
I think that in November we're going to be taught a sad lesson for the way we've been treating men in our society. ...

Jan 04, 2015
**Edit: My question is why do parents get into this and then beg for money from the community. I'm NOT asking opinions about pageants. This kind of foolishness costs money, I know that. People want their kid to be miss whatever of the county, but they dont want to pay for expensive clothes, culture lessons and whatever other kind of crap to make sure their kid wins?? You want this silly fake image for your kid but you're not willing to d ...

Mar 20, 2015
I hope she and her ilk are locked away for a long, long time. I have a picture of her behind bars, if anyone would like to see it. :)) Meanwhile, this link will have to do. link ...

Nov 14, 2009
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091114/ap_on_re_us/us_family_sex_crimes ...

Feb 19, 2011
This board is a prime example of double standards from both sides, hypocrisy on both sides, and the blind following their choosen herd without trying to see for themselves. I'm just tired of it all. Thanks for the rant. I had to get that off of my chest. ...

May 30, 2011
... still you believe. Osama and the bin Ladens ...

Jul 08, 2017
As only a handful of constitutional conservatives, like Ted Cruz , Mike Lee , Rand Paul , argue for the full repeal of Obamacare, something that was promised by all Republicans for seven years, and as Democrats have no answers for disastrous Obamacare other than more government control — what destroyed the health insurance marketplace in America in the first place and caused prices and deductibles to unnecessarily skyrocket — we should be reminded that ALL involvement of the federal governme ...

Jan 21, 2014
Do Democrats really want a CEO of a large corporation and a thug off the streets of Chicago to make the same amount of money? I must be missing something. I'm sure some would like to explain it to me. ...

Sep 09, 2016
Let me explain this to sincere liberals who love this country: Your last hope is not Clinton, but Trump. Remove the party blinders. There have been nearly 70 years of liberal dominance in this nation's inner cities and other poor communities. There has been no shortage of money (almost $11 trillion). ...Now, if you DARE, take a drive around any inner city. Okay - did you survive? Great! And what did you see that the liberal philosophy has given us? Vote the same, get the ...

Apr 03, 2015
Aren't the insurance companies still in control, with what they will approve and what they won't approve? Senator Debbie Stabenow Mar 30 at 4:33 PM To me Dear ***, Thank you for contacting me about the Affordable Care Act and its ongoing implementation. Millions of Americans, including several hundred thousand people in Michigan, have been able to buy high-quality private health insurance plans through the Affordable Care Act. The law also holds insura ...