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I'm so excited my son's getting a divorce!

Posted: Aug 21, 2013

He's finally had enough of this woman and I don't have to get along with her anymore and he's still young enough that I have the potential for future grandchildren oh I'm so happy! I told him, for you I'm sorry I know you loved her half your life and you're really good friends, for me I'm happy because she's a world class B and I couldn't stand her. He flew me out for their shower and their wedding and she comes from this huge Mexican family, they sat around and spoke Spanish the whole time and I had no idea what anybody was talking about. I know they were talking about me. Also she picked me up from the airport and from the time I got in the car she was on her cell with her friends always in Spanish and ignored me the whole time. Then when he flew me out to San Diego for Christmas to a party with some investors he wanted me to make a good impression on them so he took me off to the side and gave me crap about how I shouldn't be rude and sit off by myself and not talk to anybody like I did during their wedding and shower. I let him have it! I said you want to talk about rude - and told him about it. But the investors were all American and Australian and this one guy kept rubbing me all night (not disgustingly) because I had on a velvet jacket and he said he loved Christmas because the women all wore velvet and he loved the feel of it, and I found out later this was the BIG money guy, so they got their money and everybody told my son how cool his mother was and they could see where my son got such a great personality. Anyway, now I'm going on a diet and start exercising because maybe I'll have a grandbaby I will want to hang around to see grow up and love!

;

Wow! - smh

[ In Reply To ..]
Need attention much? Sounds like you are STARVING for it. Just some friendly advice....keep in mind, in the future, not EVERYTHING is about you. You were offended because a MEXICAN family spoke Spanish all night? I mean, they ARE Mexican, their Spanish may very well be much better than their English. Now, if they sat around talking in code or if they were all Americans speaking Spanish so that you couldn't understand I could understand your conspiracy theory that you have going on, but I am sure THEY were there for YOUR KID and THEIRS and you weren't the center of anyone's attention.

As far as her being on her cell phone, I agree that is rude, but LOTS of people do that these days and she obviously is A LOT younger than you. A person staying on their cell is rude, I agree, but AGAIN, it's not all about you. She may do that often, you don't know.

And I didn't mention - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Even your son getting the account, you said he got it strictly because of YOU and your velvet jacket or whatever. So, you don't think this had anything at all to do with your son's profession or how good HE may be at it? I mean, if you were MY mom I bet I wouldn't have gotten the account and I think it is utterly ridiculous for you to make a comment like that.

As you have gotten older I think it's important to consider your time to shine has gone and it's time to let your kids shine. Stop making everything about yourself, even down to the fact that you don't like his wife. You smile and grin and bear it for your SON'S SAKE. After all, it is HIS wife, HIS life.

Jeeze Louise!! - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
The first thing you need to do is relax. I am exhausted just from reading your post. Second thing is to remember that breakups do not always stick and if you act like its Christmas, your birthday and Mardi Gras all in the same day, if they get back together, your son is going to be mad at you, so act a little sad and sit back and wait and see.

There is just so much wrong - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
with the attitude in this post, I don't know where to begin.

Your daughter-in-law might have been rude to you, which is not a good thing, but if your post is any indication of your daily attitude, I would say you both are probably even in that department.

Oh, my gosh - just my opinion

[ In Reply To ..]
Are you for real? Are you on medication? I hope your son takes after his father.

Quite the post there, I would not do any crowing-sm - XXX

[ In Reply To ..]
until the divorce is signed, sealed and delivered, and not then either. Divorce is sad no matter what the circumstances, and hard for the person(s) going thru it. From the sounds of it you will not like any woman your son is involved with or marries. If you continue with your attitude, etc., when/if you son marries again and does have children there is no guarantee they (he or his wife) will let you anywhere near their children. The wife has main control over who the kids see, you may want to remember that and rein in the me, me, me attitude and the paranoia that others have to be talking about you or you are the reason for you son's success (he is the reason for his accomplishments). My MIL did not get to see the kids as much as she wanted (or w/o one of us present) but actually mainly due to my husband (me too eventually after I saw the crap she and his dad would do). Nowadays just too busy so it is really cut back to about 6x a year. My parents were much more laid back about grandchildren than my in-laws though probably helped that they had 3 already by the time my 2 came along though I had the only girls. Attitude is king. Yours needs a major adjustment and you sound a bit repressed and grudge holding. Yes, exercise, lose some weight, get some other interests other than your son and possible future grandchildren that may never happen (or live up to your expectations).

Grandchildren are not always there or pleasure - Aimee

[ In Reply To ..]
in your life. Had not seen my now grown grandchild since 2005. They sent a note on FB the other day and asked for $2,000. There was no hello, how are you, miss you, nothing, just the money part. I ignored it.

Yeah, not cool. I presume you have tried to - sm - XXX

[ In Reply To ..]
see/visit or stay in contact with your grandchild. Not trying to pick a fight here. I know if my in-laws did not initiate the visits that they would be rare indeed (probably 2x a year) as we are usually pretty busy and tied up 3-4 nights a week and at least one day over the weekend if not both (they live 100+ miles away so we only see them on weekends, Sundays only as they don't want to come/or have visitors on Saturday as they attend church on Wed and Saturday nights instead of Sunday mornings. When we do have a rare free weekend we just veg, no invites to them or jumping in the car to visit them either. I don't think we have ever actually asked them to visit in 15 years, they just call us and say we are coming on Sunday (Obviously if we are busy I do tell them they cannot come). I only get to see my dad about 3x a year, 2 visits by me, and 1 here by him (he is 200+ miles away). But if you have tried and they have refused, look into grandparent visitation rights and see if your state has that available. I think a lot of people forget about that and that they can get visitation mandated if the parents just use their kids as a means to an end and resort to blackmail, etc., in order ot get cash out of the grandparents. I would never cut my kids off from the grandparents (unless there was something really bad involved, e.g. sexual abuse, murder) even though I know my husband's parents were sucky parents to him, surprised how good a person he turned out to be despite his upbringing. But I would definitely ignore the cash request, I don't know if you can somehow turn it around on them and get to see your grandchild in the process. Tell them you were about to contact them and ask them for $5K so you can pay your mortgage/rent that you got behind, etc. and about to be homeless and may need to move in with them shortly. Be interesting to see how they would respond.

Nothing bad that I did except just was not - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
the maternal grandmother and that is the grandparent(s) they were always taken to, spent countless time around, and so on. You would have to know the background but let me just say this, the mother of my grandchild calls her own mother at least 5-6 times daily and they live in close proximity to one another. Their family is the only thing that matters, no one else. The family takes the place of even close friends. As far as telling them close to being homeless, they know better than that so like I said just ignored the request, did not answer phone calls either. If ever there was a clan, that is it. I tried but just not in their group, never.

That is sad, I know that happens a lot - sm - XXX

[ In Reply To ..]
I know I saw my parents more than my husbands, and mine live twice the distance. I know that killed my MIL in the past, but while my husband would not allow them to have our kids we did see them more than my parents, for a few years it was every other weekend, BUT when I did see my parents I would stay for days(4-6) at my parents when I did visit about 4-6x a year as I was very close to my mom and called her 1-2x a day. His mom got super friendly after my mom died, but she still tries to screw with me. I cannot tell her anything I don't mind repeated to my DH, otherwise she does try to screw me, so anymore I keep things as impersonal as I can, much safer that way. I have never been nasty to her ever though. My DH has had a few blowouts with her about the kids though, glad he stands his ground and sticks to his beliefs, and not cave into the guilt he feels at times. His parents are mainly day visits here. We have stayed overnight there only about 3x, none have been great though has gotten a little better each time. I know how much they enjoy seeing the kids, though they were rather I or my DH were not around. They have only stayed here once, after that his mom said she would never stay here again (did not sleep due to her husband's snoring, at that time they were sleeping in separate bedrooms and here they had to share), plus I fear (not really) our home does not meet her standards of cleanliness. We are clean , no bugs or anything like that, but some webs sometimes in ceiling corners, some dust on the ceiling fans at times or on the baseboards, and in generaly just not spotless, what do you expect with 2 kids, 3 dogs, a cat and a hamster. My husband turns into this neurotic mess when they visit(really hate it). They just came last weekend and he drove us all nuts the night before saying it was not clean enough, etc. Told him I could care less if she does not think the house is clean enough. We cleaned for about six hours, dusted, picked up, vacuumed, mopped, etc. He is still trying to get their approval I guess (what would Freud think?) after all these years of being told he was useless and would never amount to anything and his brother would have to take care of him later in life (funny thing is my DH took in his brother and gave him a home rent free for years....before I came on the scene that is...and we gave them their only grandchildren too). His brother has his own scars from their upbringing though he was the favored one. Sad the brothers are not close at all though mainly due to their parents favoring the older brother over the younger though, put quite a wedge between them. Did not help that MIL used older brother to try to make us leave the kids with her, that was not pretty and made the gap between brothers even larger unfortunately. I wish both sets of grandparents were great, but got to work with what I have. My mom was great, though a little impatient at times but loved doing things with the kids, my dad very impatient so we limited his exposure (he is fine now), and in-laws played mind games for years, though have mellowed on that though still have to be on our toes. I rarely got to see my grandparents as we lived 400/1000 miles from them, so glad my kids will at least remember 3 of theirs, my mom is a distant memory but glad they remember something. I hope things turn around for you and you get to see your grandchild soon.

Wow! bahahaa. SMH! don't know what to say... - just, oh jeez. hahahaha.

[ In Reply To ..]
your poor son and his future wife and grandkids. Lady, you're nuts.

A note to the OP - seriously

[ In Reply To ..]
While the other posters here have offered observations, suggestions and opinions, none of us here are licensed psychologists. It appears you need one of those, not one of us.

But I did highly agree with the poster just above mine :)

If you can't see what's wrong with that whole picture, - theres no point in any of us telling you.

[ In Reply To ..]
UN.believable!

Just sounds like a - troll to me

[ In Reply To ..]
seriously, I don't think anybody would be this....um... self-centered?? not the right word, I am sure, but it sounds like someone is bored and trying to stir the pot here on the boards. I say ignore it and it will go away.

You must have been one itch-bay mother-in-law - You probably are responsible for the end of your s

[ In Reply To ..]
What the heck is wrong with you?

A bit eccentric? A big schemer? A weirdo troll? - Icky

[ In Reply To ..]
Seriously? "kept rubbing me all night...he loved the feel of it"

(I feel like I need a shower right now.)

Especially enjoyed "everybody told my son how cool his mother was and they could see where my son got such a great personality"...

Talk about superinflated ego, not to mention that if this is a representation of your personality, I pity your son as he apparently, according to this statement, is a chip off the old ego-nasty block.

Oh, and I've never heard of anyone stating they needed to start exercising for possible grandchildren when their own child is going through a painful divorce. That's a bit odd! What grandchild cares anyway what size nana is? But going one step forward, maybe you've "helped" this whole thing along as you seem rather the meddling type, and it's not your son's life that matters, but your own wishes.

Or maybe you're just a troll?

You are so full of horse crap - but

[ In Reply To ..]
I do think a diet is a good idea.

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