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Divorce Advice-Desperate

Posted: Mar 3, 2011

Okay, here it goes. I have been with my husband since the age of 19 and we have been married going on 24 years. We have 3 children, ages 6 through 14. It is the classic story, we have grown apart, are different people now, just not in love with him any more. Don't get me wrong, he is a good man and a great father. He has never cheated (that I know of), not a drinker, not abusive. It is just that we have grown apart. I am about to turn 45 and have realized that although I do love him and always will, it is just not the same anymore. We don't fight, we just don't really talk period. I have tried and tried to talk to him, asked him to go to counseling, have told him that I can't live this way anymore and he just refuses to even acknowledge that I am unhappy and there is a problem. I have tried for over a year now. For the longest time, I had the mindset that it would just be easier to just stay and be unhappy, especially for the sake of the kids, than it would be to start over. Now I am to the point that it would be easier to start over than to stay this way. What scares me is knowing that in another 10 short years, our youngest will be grown and gone and then what will we have. The kids are all we have in common anymore. All I want is for him to agree and be amicable regarding the kids and work together to figure out the best way to handle living apart but it will definitely not be that way. He wil fight tooth and nail and make my life hell. It is not like he will just let me walk out the door.

Are they any of you that have been married for such a long time, found yourself feeling the same way and decided to call it quits? How did you end it? Although I am fully aware of the long, hard road ahead not just for me but for the kids, especially knowing how hard and spiteful he will be, I know that deep in my heart, it is the right thing to do. The thought of spending the rest of my life so empty and unhappy scares me to death! Any good advice is GREATLY appreciated.

;

Please, PLEASE do not take this the wrong way - See message

[ In Reply To ..]
Hun I strongly suspect you are hitting midlife crisis. I hear every woman does it and I witnessed my own sister do it.

Her situation sounded very similar to yours. When it came down to it, she was just...BORED. Bored with her husband, bored with the daily routine of her life, her daughter was half grown. They owned a plane and 2 boats. They took wonderful vacations all over the country and to Hawaii, spent weeks at the coast. Living the dream.

She hit your age and something just clicked in her. She found her husband suddenly boring and having nothing in common with him. She found her day-to-day increasingly mundane and unbearable. She had been with him for about 15-20 years and just about every patch of weeds she saw looked greener than the grass she had right under her feet.

She ended up having an affair with a newly-separated man and leaving her husband for this man. She walked away from everything and now life is a day to day struggle for her. Her new husband doesn't like to let her out of his sight, there's no trust on either part, long gone are days where any sort of vacation is possible because he's self-employed and rarely works, she found out he's been secretly in constant contact with his ex-wife for a very long time now, and...well, she's just miserable. I don't know what about this an EVER appealed to her except he was the polar opposite of her husband, with whom she had become so bored. He, too, didn't think they needed marriage counseling because he still loved her as much as he did the day they got together. He was willing to do whatever it took to make her happy. What he didn't understand was, like your husband, there probaby wasn't anything he could do to make HER happy; she had to make HERSELF happy. Every time I look into her eyes I see the pain and regret, and I know that not a day goes by she doesn't wish she would have just held on until the midlife crisis passed.

PLEASE, before you do ANYTHING, go see a counselor yourself. For your husband, for your kids, and most of all for YOU. I understand there are some antidepressants that work very well for women dealing with premenopause/midlife crisis. I would hate to see anyone make the same mistake my sister did and trade off what should have been her golden years for her tarnished years. PLEASE don't do anything rash. Sometimes when you make a mistake, you can go back and "fix" it, and sometimes you cannot undo what has been done.

Again, PLEASE do not take any of my post the wrong way or that I am simply writing you off as having a midlife crisis. Having seen it happen to my beloved sister, I just can't sit by and not say (type) anything and risk seeing another woman perhaps throw away the latter part of her life by making a mistake of monumental proportions.

Good luck to you, whichever way you decide to go. Ultimately only you know what's best for YOU.

Agree - Me too

[ In Reply To ..]
We married early (I was 19, he was 20) and I also went through a period in my 40s where I thought my husband and I had only the kids in common and dreaded what my life would become. However, here I am 10 plus years later, my kids have grown up and left home and my husband and I are happy together.

I think too you should trying seeing a counselor first.

Good luck to you.

Tears in my eyes - Silly Girl

[ In Reply To ..]
You just described my husband (if you read my thread below - you know he's leaving me). I asked him why he was so willing to give up his whole family for a mid-life crisis. Please please please - do not get a divorce without trying everything imaginable to work through everything and only when you can truly say beyond a shadow of a doubt that it will not work out with your husband.

I guess I don't really get it... - anon2

[ In Reply To ..]
Your husband has done nothing; you just don't feel the "spark" anymore, so that makes it okay to forsake your marriage vows? I promised when I got married that I would love, honor and cherish until death do us part. I understand that there are times that I will probably feel the same way you do, but I made a promise in front of friends, family and God to make this work. I get divorce if the husband cheats or is abusive or if you fight constantly, but it sounds to me like you have a good man, just not one who is exciting right now. I would take 10 good men over one exciting one.

I agree with the mid-life theory - 26 yrs married

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm 49 years old and have been married 26 years. Met my husband when I was 18. What you describe is typical. I felt it, too.

There's another typical period of life coming your age. When your kids are just a little older, you'll start to find that you have more time for yourself. When that happens, you will start to do new things, or return to doing things you've always loved but have no time for while your young family is growing up. Many women talk about how their 50s are an empowering time in their lives. I'm discovering that that is happening to me right now. I've started hiking and teaching backpacking classes, and all sorts of other things that I love. I'm so charged and energized about it all, that even my husband finds me more interesting. And he's going through the same thing, as well. With less financial demands, he's been able to relax and pursue some of his interests, and now he's more interesting to me. The result is that we want to spend time together, which we do. We talk again without interruptions from children. In fact, we talk about things other than the children! In short, we're more like we were when we first met, only now we have years and years shared history between us. It's even lovely to sit and reminisce together, bringing up some old memory and laughing about it.

You say you are fully aware of the difficult struggle ahead if you break up your marriage. I say you are NOT fully aware. You can't be until you go through it. Thankfully, I haven't gone through a divorce, but I've watched many family members and friends divorce, some for the reasons you state. It's truly horrible, and the children will never be the same.

I say stick with it. Go to counseling by yourself. Perhaps just the act of your going will open your husband's eyes to what you are feeling now.

Your original post asked if anyone else has been through this, and my answer is yes, I have. Yes, many of my friends of my age have, as well. I don't think this is a reason to divorce. It's a reason to explore, discover, and work at make things better.

Been through it... - It gets better!

[ In Reply To ..]
It will get better for you. I just recently went through the same thing. Unfortunately, I had an affair. While it was the biggest mistake of my life, when I started taking better care of myself, feeling better about myself, etc. my husband took notice. I think he knew something was going on, and in turn, fought tooth and nail for me.

You tend to get into a rut after so many years. All you talk about is the kids. You do the same thing day in and day out. I totally agree with the lady that suggested you take some classes, try to better yourself or do something that interests YOU as an individual. I wish I had done that instead of going outside of my marriage.

I do have to say this. I was totally smitten with the man I became involved with, and I really never started out intending to be that way. It was amazing though, that after a few months, I started to appreciate the small things my husband did provide to me... like complete unconditional love and support, the fact that he came home to me EVERY night, knowing that he would be there through thick and thin, no matter what. The other guy - very exciting - but never in a million years would he have been half the man my husband was. You tend to take those things forgranted when you go through the midlife thing and get bored, but I think that after you\\\'ve lost it for good, the grass won\\\'t seem so green on the other side.

Three years ago I thought I wanted the same thing that you think you want. After almost losing it, now I am so thankful I have a second chance to grow old with this man I thought was so boring.

I wish you the best of luck...I know its hard. Stick with it. Finding someone who loves you for who you really are is priceless.

re: stick it out - gth

[ In Reply To ..]
Just because yours worked out doesn't mean it will for someone else, so to tell someone to stick it out is really bad advice.

We have to evaluate things on an invididual basis and not let people influence our decisions. A major decision like this has to come from the heart.

I'm happy that you have your second chance. My second chance came by kicking my no good ex to the curb, cutting off all contact with him and raising my awesome kids by myself.

I do not abide by drinking, pot users or pill poppers. They make poor partners.

My heart goes out to you and I do not necessarily agree with (sm) - BTDTMT

[ In Reply To ..]
the mid-life crisis as I have walked in your shoes. As a matter of fact, I am still walking in your shoes and have been for several years now. My husband and I have lost total contact with each other, physically, emotionally, in every way possible. Like your husband, my hubby is a good man, has never cheated, that I know of, and is a good father. Our kids are grown with families of their own and over the last several years we have lost contact with each other. We rarely talk, unless it is something concerning the kids or grandkids. He works, hunts and fishes, I work, take care of the house and visit with the grandkids regularly. He comes home in the evenings, we eat, he sits on the sofa and is asleep generally by 8:30 and I am left to watch tv, play on the computer, or whatever else there is. I know some women would like it this way but we were not always this way. He does not believe in counseling but admits to me that he thinks that we are just going through a "thing." This "thing" has been going on for several years and I can feel the distance growing between us each and every day. I have tried everything that I can think of to change things but they just never work.

The feeling of loneliness sometimes becomes more than I can take. When I was younger and my marriage was healthier I would hear people talking about being lonely in a marriage and I never understood, sadly now I do. I still love my husband but I am not in love with him and yes, I believe that those are two completely different things.

I cannot advise you on what to do because I have no idea what I will do or if I will do anything. We are working on our 26th year (September) and I still have some hope that things can change. I really wish you the best and hope that things change for your marriage as well.

Divorce Advice - Anon

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you for your response as I can truly understand the way you are feeling. With my husband, he has never allowed me to have a life outside of the house and kids (of course I work at home and live literally in the middle of nowhere) so there are a lot of times I literally do not leave my house for days. He has always been controlling in that regard so my hopes of having any kind of life when my kids are grown is slim to none. Like your situation, he does his thing (farm, hunt, etc) and I am left time and time again alone. There is no affection, no positive interaction. I will be honest, the thought of having an affair has crossed my mind, alot lately in fact, but because although I am not in love with him any more, I do love him and he does not deserve being cheated on. On the other hand, I forsee that if I dont do something and just keep being lonely and unhappy, it will eventually lead to that and I do not want that to happen. I am at a total loss. Just know that I feel your pain and emptiness as well and I just pray that the both of us, you and I, figure out what it is that will make us truly happy with our lives (face it, we aren't getting any younger) and have the strength to do what we need to do to find it! I will be thinking of you!

There has to be a way - It gets better

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm so there with you, girl. My husband likes me to stay close too. I haven't been allowed much time out of the house either unless "preapproved". I can't even go shopping to Wal-Mart without him, or I get this "why do you always feel the need to be alone" speech. I live out in the woods too, no friends, and at this point in time, have only left my home twice in the past two weeks (for church). He asked me to drive last night and I was scared I wouldn't even remember how. Ha! But, I have made major progress in the past few years. Now, if I insist, I get to do what I need to. Zumba classes are in line for the summer!

Stand up for yourself. Just make plans and do it - don't even ask. My guess is, when he sees the new and improving you (because once you start doing things for yourself, you will change), when he stops feeling so "safe and comfortable", you are going to see a new and improved him.

re: Advice - tessa

[ In Reply To ..]
I don't know that I agree that this is a "mid life" crisis. It seems as if you have completely disconnected. When you live like ships in the night, it's not really a marriage anymore, just a plutonic room mate situation.

So neither of you has ever done anything like cheat, but does that make living this way fair to each other? He has lost the ability to communicate, but I'd bed anything that his silence is just his way of not dealing with it.

I would make an opportunity to talk, get the kids out of the house, take a drive, a walk, something where it's just you two and talk about how you feel. Even if he doesn't want to talk back, at least you can tell him what is in your heart.

After that, you'd better sit yourself down and decide whether or not you want to try harder or leave now. If you want to leave, I'd suggest a trial separation rather than flat out asking for a divorce because you sound conflicted. (want him to agree to this, yet are scared of being alone.)

Go to counseling, with or without him. You've got to do what is right for you and the kids. It must be horrible for them to live in a house where their parents don't even communicate with each other. What kind of life lesson does that teach them?

Search your mind and your heart, have the talk and make your decision. Get some help. Don't continue to suffer in silence.

Divorce advice - Anon

[ In Reply To ..]
Thanks for your reply. You have pretty much hit it on the head. I have tried more times than I can count to talk to him and have told him how I feel, that I can't take living with the feeling that I am so lonely, etc and I get nothing but a blank stare. You are right, I do not want to ask for a divorce right away but I DO feel we need to separate for a while. One of the main reasons I feel something needs to be done is the fact that I don't want my kids to think this is the way a marriage is supposed to be and I want them to see both of their parents happy, whether it be with each other or with someone else. It is to the point all I really want is for the both of us to be happy with our lives even if that means its not with each other.

Again, thanks so much for the response and I will continue to search my heart to figure out where to go from here...all I know is that I have to do something or this will never change..I just don't know what that something is.

Advice - Witnessed that

[ In Reply To ..]
I find it interesting that you state "I don't want my kids to think this is the way a marriage is supposed to be," yet you think it is better for them to have to go through the horrible dilemma of divorce and that would somehow be better? I am friends with a couple who had 3 kids, two teenagers and 1 kid under the age of 10, and she had decided that she truly never got to be a teenager and decided she wasn't in love with her husband anymore and left him. Her oldest daughter became unruly, almost didn't graduate, had run-ins with the law, started doing drugs, etc. She felt abandoned by her dad who had chosen his single life and dating life over her and started dating men that were abusive because she had that need to feel "wanted" and "needed." Their middle daughter was pretty much left to fend for herself while both parents had significant others to spend time with and were dealing with the older sister's unruly issues, and their son just kind of got shuffled from friend to friend's house because his parents were too busy dating. The dad has been remarried and divorced to a psycho woman who made the kids' lives miserable and the mom has a baby with someone else and living with another man while the kids are shuffled back and forth. The man didn't want the divorce, the wife just decided she was bored and was going to leave because she wanted to date. He fought tooth and nail and ended up using his kids as his confidantes, learning information that they had no business learning. He would try to get information from them constantly and then get mad at his ex for doing this or doing that and the kids then would feel guilty for saying anything because their dad was mad at their mom. Then when he did start to date or didn't want to pay his child support, he would make the kids lie to her. It was ridiculous what went on. I think your kids would rather see you unhappy and together than have to deal with all the drama that comes from divorce, new significant others, and new families. I have typed mental health reports for years and I can tell you that nothing in my life had ever made me realize just how lucky I was in the life that I have. My husband doesn't abuse me or the kids, he doesn't molest my kids, he isn't a deadbeat who doesn't work and support us, he doesn't have kids with 5 other women, etc. You have already put many, many years into your marriage, so really what is 10 more. Let your youngest grow up with both his parents in an intact family because I can promise if you don't, you will screw up your kids, you will have them rebelling and venturing into things you don't want them to venture into, and when they do, you will be dealing with unruly kids all on your own. I can tell you then that there are not many men that want to put up with someone else's kids being complete brats and if they pretend they do, they are probably not acting very nice to the kids' face when you're not around. When you have kids, life isn't just about you anymore, it's about them so do what is best for them and that's not a divorce if you are married to a great man that you say you are married to. If you feel that he is going to fight tooth and nail, then why get a divorce? Maybe he is going through something right now that he isn't willing to open up about. There was obviously something about him that made you love him, so what happened in the meantime? If he doesn't want to be happy and live a happy life, then you live a happy life. You can tell him you are going to go on vacation and he can come with or not and if he chooses not to go and sees you having a lot of fun, he may end up wanting to participate! I really think that you need to take some of this advice and try to stick with him as long as you can to see if things improve. It took this many years to become unhappy so what makes you think that it's only going to take a year to make you happy again? Give it some time, some actual real time.

I really appreciate all of the thought you put into this post - see message

[ In Reply To ..]
But I've noticed the OP really only responded to those who encouraged her to end her marriage and kick him to the curb. I suspect her mind was made up even before she posted asking others for advice and was looking for encouragement in that direction. Lots of posters, yourself included, offered her great advice about how to try to make her better and slow down before deciding to go graze in greener pastures but I didn't notice any response to those types of posts.

Just another midlife woman who in one of her posts has admittedly been contemplating affairs, etc., who has already made her decision and is apparently seeking reinforcement for her decision.

I really enjoyed your post and a few others above and recognized the thought and time taken to put into them. Sadly, I doubt they were given much of a glance by the OP.

re: witness - scooby

[ In Reply To ..]
Some women still hold on desperately to the IDEA of a marriage. So what if she has made up her mind, MORE POWER TO HER! Midlife crisis or bad marriage, no one has to suffer any more, no one has to live in a loveless arrangement, no one HAS to be married! This isn't the dark ages! She's not going to be cast out or lose her land or her cows for gosh sakes.

Whatever the reasons are, she has the right to CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY, whether that be WITH or WITHOUT her husband, and that's that.

What kind of people encourage their loved ones to stick it out when they have to know that they're miserable?? Can you imagine waiting around for your twilight years hoping and finger crossing that things will change? What if they don't? Then your an old woman with a lifetime of regret.

OP, you are never going to know if this is the right choice for you until you take that leap. I divorced after 13 years of marriage and IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER for both me AND my children. The kids didn't lose their dad and they certainly didn't have "broken home syndrome" because even though he and I ended our marriage, we didn't quit as parents and we raised our kids as partners with a mutual goal in mind. THAT we at least got right.

I've been single for many years, and only recently involved myself in a new relationship. I will take it very slowly and see where it goes, and in the meantime, I am very happy.

Only you know what is right for you, so figure that out first, then make a choice. Just know that there are many of us out there who do not believe that a marriage means a life-sentence. No one will think less of you if you decide that it's no longer something you want, and, it is very OKAY to walk away from a bad marriage.

Good luck sweetie. You're not alone.

Divorce - Witnessed that

[ In Reply To ..]
Good for you to be able to have made it work. That would be the ideal situation for everyone. However, the OP plainly stated her husband would fight tooth and nail. So how in the world could that be the best thing for her kids. When you have kids, your kids' happiness and lives should come first before your own. She may be lonely, but there are certainly things she can do to make herself happy even while staying in the marriage. She can make her life as full as she wants it to be with or without her husband joining her. Why ruin your kids' lives for selfishness? She has been with the man forever already, what's another 10 years for the sake of her children, when in reality there is nothing wrong with staying besides the fact that she is lonely.

I sure know how you feel, but... - Distraught

[ In Reply To ..]
in my case, my husband is a drinker and a gambler. How long have you felt this way? If it has only been a short while, then I suppose it could be a mid-life crisis. But, if you've felt this way for quite a while, then probably not. I am 46 and have been married for 18 years, but started dating my hub when I was 17. I feel the same way you do, disconnected from my husband, we don't really speak much, and don't really socialize with one another anymore. This is mostly because I have chosen to distance myself from his drinking. All his friends are drinkers, probably all alcoholics, and basically anytime he leaves this house he comes home drunk. It has gotten to the point that I dislike him and really have nothing good to say, so I just keep to myself and take care of the kids, who are both teenagers. I am having the same feelings of wanting to divorce, which I have had for many years now. When he doesn't drink, he is a decent person and at that time I feel basically only content with our relationship. I certainly do not feel the way a married woman should feel towards her husband and that is all because of his drinking and gambling. Sorry I don't really have too much advice for you except just to say be thankful that your husband is not a drinker or abusive. If these feelings are relatively new, then I would try to hold out on divorce and try to reconnect with him, maybe by doing a few things together, going out for dinner, a movie, something simple just to make a connection of some sort. I've tried to listen to my own advice, but when alcohol is involved that connection doesn't seem to last very long...only about one day until he decides to go get drunk again. I guess I just needed to release some feelings after reading your story. Good luck to you in whatever you decide. You are the only one that truly knows how you feel and how your situation is.

re: drinking husband - lonny

[ In Reply To ..]
I don't know why in the world you'd stay in this marriage. Is holding out for the occasional sober "connected" day worth all the other times he has let you down?

Don't you realize that you are wasting your life away? We only have this one lifetime, this one opportunity to live a good life!

I don't like the idea of divorce any more than the next person. Many people think it means they have failed, but think of the alternative; day after day of only existing, hoping against hope that somehow or someday your life is going to miraculously change without any effort on your part? It won't happen.

Make a choice. Either keep living like you are, silently suffering and wasting away, or make a change and get on with your LIFE.

I don't agree 100% - distraught

[ In Reply To ..]
Wow, some of your words are awfully harsh. I have two wonderful kids and a job that I really enjoy. While he may gamble and drink, we are financially very stable. I am not happy with the way things are, but I certainly do not look at it as wasting my life away. Aside from his drinking, I do have actually a very good life. That's why it is so difficult to leave. It's hard to explain the feelings or understand unless you've been in the situation. I am seriously considering divorce, but to me that is a MAJOR life-changing event for our entire family. But, that will have to wait until after our cross-country trip coming up in the next month. You're right though, are the occasional good days enough to make up for all the bad? That's something that anyone considering divorce has to figure out.

drinking husband - girl4givn

[ In Reply To ..]
That's pretty rough. Sometimes it not always so easy for the person who is living it. Try to be a little more sympathetic Lonny - put yourself in her shoes.

re: girl4givn - lonny

[ In Reply To ..]
You speak to soon and assume too little.

I WAS in her shoes... Sympathy isn't what she needs.

I understand these things are very, very hard on the heart, but once you allow your heart to lead your head, your sunk and doomed.

re: anon/divorce advise - Karen T

[ In Reply To ..]
I cannot believe how many women are posting suggestions that this is a \"mid life crisis\" or waving their \"i\'ve been married this many years\" banners, and \"it will get better I promise\" or \"so he drinks a lot\" ect ect...

This isn\'t 1502 and women have a voice and a choice. You are not any body\'s property and you are not an extension of that person. You are a woman, an individual who is deserving of happiness, with our without a man.

If you\'re not happy, change your life situation! It\'s hard in many ways, but while you\'ve still got a fight in your heart and breath in your lungs, make a change!

You\'ll never know how happy you can be unless something changes. Why in the world people are telling you to stick it out is beyond me. Sticking it out and hoping for a change that may never come is such a long shot and the odds that you\'ve been in it already for so long and it\'s deteriorating is already an indication as to the direction its headed.

I\'ve never married, never had a live in relationship. I do have a child though and his father helped me raise him. I love my life! I really really love my life. I wouldn\'t have it any other way. I work here at night, work at a hospital during the days and have many friends and family around me that fill my life with joy and love.

I am 50 years old. My son is a college graduate, in the military as an officer, lives a few states away, has a son and is happily married, has been for 7 years now. I think he\'s an awesome man and great father and husband.

It doesn\'t always take a conventional relationship to raise an awesome child. He never \"suffered\" because his dad didn\'t live with me.

That other is right about this - Waste of time

[ In Reply To ..]
After reading the other post about how the OP obviously already had made her decision, was thinking about having affairs, was bored with her life, etc, I noticed she DID only respond to the posters who nudged her along and supported her (probably all women in unhappy marriages) and pretty much ignored any advice (and there were a lot of lengthy thoughtful posts probaby by women in happier marriages who suggested she ought to really think about a divorce before acting on it as she might regret it later), which yep OP basically ignored.

If her mind is made up to have an affair, get a divorce, or even shave her head, that's HER decision.

My question is, as was already pointed out, you can tell by the posts she chose to respond to that her mind IS already made up and she was just looking for valiation or praise or approval or something here.

I don't have a problem with her decision and frankly I could not possibly care less since I don't know her and it makes not a whit of difference to me or my life what she does or doesn't do to her husband. I just think it's funny to observehow polarized the respones were, clearly miserable wives with "you go girl!" or happier wives with "don't rush into anything, make sure you can't make it work before you jump," ad nauseum.

Divorce him, have an affair with you neighbor or the plumber or the mailman of whatever, but why post here just to hope someone justifies your behavior?

I think it's rather weird.

For those of you with your panties in a wedge because some people suggested she tried to stick it out and see if she could make it work because she still loves him, it reminds me of one of those crowd scenes when someone's debating jumping off of a bridge and there's a crowd cat-calling them and encouraging them to do it. Again, kinda weird.

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California Secretary of State Debra Bowen today authorized the backer of an initiative that would ban divorce to begin collecting signatures to put the proposed constitutional amendment before voters. John Marcotte now has until March 22, 2010, to collect 694,354 signatures of registered voters in order to get the measure on the ballot next year. The proposal would change the California Constitution to "eliminate the ability of married couples to get divorced in California." Couples could still ...

Oct 29, 2009
Do you know what happens when your spouse does not answer to the divorce petition after the 20 days are up (you have 20 days to respond in my state). My soon to be ex hasn't responded to it yet and Monday the 20 days will be up. Have any of you gotten temporary spousal support while the divorce is pending? He is not helping me out financially and I can't pay all the bills on my own. This is the most stressful thing ever! ...

Oct 29, 2010
I want a divorce from my husband but am so scared regarding finances that it's preventing me from doing it. We've been married 18 years, 2 teenage children, nice home. He makes good money and carries the health insurance. I've been doing this for 10+ years. He is a drinker and I think he is an alcoholic. He's never been physically violent with us, but he does scream and bitch about whatever pops into his drunken mind, and just randomly comes up w ...

May 24, 2010
I need some advice. I am an MT who works at home, and I do not have many friends since I work from home and take care of my kids. I have been married for 8 years now but my husband recently started going out to the bars, not calling me, not coming home until after bars close, etc. I am not a complete stick in the mud, but I believe that if you are married with children, what business do you have to be out in a bar until 2 in the morning?? Worse, he doesn't even call ...

Aug 17, 2015
My husband is thinking about leaving me. We have a 15-year-old son who will be devastated if he does. He says I don't give him enough affection and says he hasn't been happy for years. I asked him for a second chance to make things right, and he said no. Haven't spoken to eachother since yesterday morning. Praying God will soften his heart and allow me another chance. Prayers for that would be appreciated. ...

Oct 29, 2010
My boyfriend has 5 children. He was married to his former wife for 14 years. They have been divorced for 1 year now; separated for 3, and have 5 children together ranging from almost 13 years old to 5 years old. He had custody of them in the beginning because she abandoned them (left the state with another man)....then she was somehow able to get custody back. Anyway that really isn't the issue. The youngest (5-year-old) has been potty trained since he was 3. He rea ...

Apr 28, 2010
American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce..... I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on frien ...

Aug 04, 2010
Obviously, I'll dress classy for this hearing, but I'll admit it, I considered an "I WAS with Stupid" t-shirt, but don't think I can have it made in time. ...

Apr 04, 2011
Anybody with a minute, would appreciate your prayers. My son has been fighting for custody of his children from their meth-addicted mother. She is now homeless, and he is getting the children full-time instead of joint custody. His current wife just up and tells him she wants a divorce; doesn't want to raise his children by his other marriage. He works a week out of town and then is home a week. He is scheduled to leave for work tomorrow. My husband and I ...

Jun 14, 2010
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: L: Have you any grounds? P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home. L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? P: It made of co ...

Aug 21, 2013
He's finally had enough of this woman and I don't have to get along with her anymore and he's still young enough that I have the potential for future grandchildren oh I'm so happy! I told him, for you I'm sorry I know you loved her half your life and you're really good friends, for me I'm happy because she's a world class B and I couldn't stand her. He flew me out for their shower and their wedding and she comes from this huge Mexican family, th ...

Apr 10, 2016
The person who wrote this is a college (law) student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all. DIVORCE AGREEMENT THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM. Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this la ...

Nov 17, 2015
So, my parents divorced a few decades ago. Recently my dad signed up for Facebook, so I added him as a friend, obviously. My mom has also signed up for Facebook and wants me to add her also. NEITHER OF THEM wants me to add the other one - OR - their extended family. My dad has gotten really adamant about it. Maybe I shouldnt add either of them? argh! ...

Jun 08, 2011
to file by the end of the week. I asked my attorney about me moving out and he said it makes no difference if I live in the house or not, I still own the house and will get at least half if we sell after the past due taxes are paid. So that's good news. Now I'm off to look at the apartment down the road. I feel so upbeat today. Like I'm getting stuff accomplished and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks to everyone for your good advic ...

Aug 11, 2014
My soon-to-be ex recently moved in with his buddy and his buddy's wife and their grandkids (whom they are raising) because his utilities were shut off because he doesn't have a job and didn't pay his bills. Long story short, he hasn't even looked for a job since moving in with his buddy. His answer to his financial woes is to try to get into a drug study where they pay you cash for being a lab rat. He has tried to get into three studies. The first stud ...

Nov 07, 2015
This is not a war on anything but perhaps their own sanity. Did they have a problem with the Starbuck's emblem before it was on the red cup? Hey, how bout you just bring in your own cups! http://www.breitbart.com/london/2015/11/05/war-on-christmas-starbucks-new-red-cups-are-emblematic-of-the-christian-culture-cleansing-of-the-west/ Starbucks didn’t respond to a request for comment. But its website says: “In the past, we have told stories with our holiday cups designs,” ...

Apr 16, 2010
Married 12 years MAY-DECEMBER He is old enough to be her Daddy apparently the news is reporting he slept with her sister of all things! He may be a nice man with a lot of $$$$ but hey! do yall think he is all that? Says she had a problem with prescription pain killers for Migraines who knows! They have 2 litle boys. ...

Jun 14, 2010
Thank heavens, no children in their 11 years, but his ex won't leave him alone. She's constantly calling him wanting money or furniture, or just to hassle him. She had taken everything out of the home they once lived in and he only wound up with a kitchen table and chairs. That's it. Now she wants that back. He's going to do it hoping she will get off his back. BTW, she used to hit him when they would fight. He came over one day with red marks all over his ch ...

Dec 30, 2013
what fool even thought of this? Oh, never mind, I know....... Link ...

Apr 23, 2014
The B.O. administration has given the DOJ the go-ahead to release drug offenders from jail. ...

Oct 22, 2014
http://abc11.com/news/lynching-photo-discovered-on-campaign-fliers/358447/ ...

Jun 20, 2011
James Richard Verone spent his whole life playing by the rules and staying out of trouble. Having worked as a delivery man for Coca Cola for 17 years, Verone was known as a hard worker and honest man.Yet when he was laid off from Coca Cola three years ago, Verone was desperate to find work. He eventually found employment as a convenience clerk, yet he began to notice a protrusion in his chest. He developed arthritis and carpal tunnel syndrome, and soon the pain became too much for him to bear. H ...

Mar 28, 2011
Ever since I moved, I get terrible seasonal allergies. I have a runny nose and am sneezy for weeks and weeks. My face itches, my ears itch, even my forehead itches!!! Anyone have any advice on how to help allergies???? ...

Mar 22, 2011
I was bored and decided to tamper with my hair (my favorite fashion accessory). I spent the weekend bringing it from a deep mahogany to platinum. Damage was minimal considering it was an at-home job with my husband I the "colorists," lol! I know with this new hair color change I need to amp up the makeup so as not to look faded out. I've dug out a few of my "bolder" colored lipsticks instead of the nude lip I usually used as a brunette, but was wondering if any other blon ...

Mar 22, 2011
Hi all, I just needed a little advice. My sister called me last night and asked me to watch my 2yo niece while she and her husband and her 13yo daughter went on a cruise in June. I told her that I couldnt because the 3 days that she wants me to watch her are days that I work. Keep in mind, I have a 13yo, a 4yo, and a 16mo myself which I work at home with and it is difficult. I just dont think that people get how hard it is even though Im at home. Anyway, so I told ...

Dec 11, 2009
Good morning...I need some advice and at this point any advice is welcome :-) I have a 5 year old energetic, funny, sweet little boy who is in kindergarten. I just had a short meeting with his teacher yesterday who said that she is having some real issues with my son in class. She says that he is very disruptive and acts silly all day. She says that he is not mean by any means and is very sweet, but he just simply will not concentrate on the task at hand but would rather ...

Jan 15, 2010
I've been living with a guy for 12 years. There are some aspects of his personality/behavior that are positive. However, he has a habit of mocking me at just about every opportunity, belittling, that kind of stuff. When I get upset he says he "was being funny." He likes to contradict me in public when possible and point out negatives - not so much about me specifically but demeaning comments about things like my dog or my hobbies, etc. I ask him to please not do these things in public but i ...