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Feeling horribly anxious

Posted: Sep 9, 2010

I just need to connect with someone right now. I am alone, and in about 45 minutes I am going up to my stepfather's to help him get our parrot out of her very big cage into the little cage we use when she has to leave the house. She fights it every time, hangs onto the bars and screams. We must take her today to have her nails trimmed. They are very long and I am afraid she will get caught on the bars when she climbs and plays. It is long overdue. My stepfather puts it off due to the difficulty involved. The last time the girl did not take enough off. We took her last November, and I went up to the house then to help, but it was a terrible time. I started crying and went into the kitchen. Later I returned to the porch and one by one had to free her nails from the bars so he could get her out. I hate to cause her such stress. My mom was in a terminal stage, on hospice. She was in her last days, and I was to stay at the house while my stepfather took the bird for her appointment.

Right now I am actually shaking inside. It is getting to that time of year, and everything is coming back. I feel like I will go to the house and see mom in the hospital bed in the TV room. After he left that day I sat with my mom and told her to let go when she needs to, and not to worry about me. She was sobbing and asking God out loud to take her. I told her calmly that he would hear her, and that she should know he is with her AND me every step of the way. I told her not to worry about me and my stepfather, and I reminded her that we would all be together again.

I am so sorry for the content of this message. I didn't sleep all night, thinking of the task ahead, and remembering the circumstances last year.

Thanks so much for reading. I need to trust everything will be okay. Morry's appointment is for 12:15 today. We have some different ideas today about taking the bottom out of the cage and luring her down on the newspaper with her toy bird she plays with. Then maybe we can get her from behind with a towel and bring her out. I wish many years ago I had trained her to get on a perch to bring her out.

;

((((Hugs)))))) - mb

[ In Reply To ..]
Hope everything goes well for you today. I don't have any experience with birds, so I can't give you any advice as far as that but you never know, maybe it'll go easier this time? About your mom, try to remember her during happier times, that is probably what she would be wanting you to do today.

Morry - KYMT

[ In Reply To ..]
Have you checked with a veterinarian about the option of sedating her before this procedure? It might be worth the extra cost to have less stress on everybody involved.

bird - MT67

[ In Reply To ..]
It's not really safe to sedate a parrot. I have rescued and owned parrots (Macaws, Cockatoos, etc.) for over 20 years. You can still train him the up command and to stand on your hand. It's very difficult to undertake what you're about to go through, been there, done that, and been bitten for my trouble quite badly in the past! Hang in there, go slow, and I'll keep you in my prayers for no bites, calmness, and no nails caught in the bars.

don't be sorry! - deenibeeni

[ In Reply To ..]
never apologize for asking for help!

time will make things better. I can tell you from (way too much) experience.

In the meantime, maybe there's a vet or bird handler who does housecalls?

Everything will be fine, you'll see.

Morry - Parrot lady

[ In Reply To ..]
It sounds as though Morry never gets out of her cage, therefore that is her comfort zone. I'd start days before by leaving the cage door open. When she eventually starts to come out, close the door and leave food and water on top of the cage. Do not let her in for a couple of hours.

Eventually (very eventually), she will become more comfortable being on the outside of the cage, easier for you to get her.

Parrots are highly social animals. They are not solitary and do not fair well being caged up. They can and do go "crazy" and become absolutely unmanageble.

If your bird is getting enough stimulation and interaction, there should be no problem in her trusting you to "perch" train. It takes a lot of time, a lot of time, but can be done.

A parrot should never be kept in a cage all of the time, never. Ours prefer to be on top and only go in the cage to sleep and eat. they have their nails trimmed regularly and wings are clipped so they also go outside to an outside bird tree (a dead tree that we mounted and fixed with perches and toys).

I'm sorry you feel this anxiety about going to care for Morry. I'm sure the memories are overwhelming and heartbreaking. Morry needs care though and you could help her learn.

If neither you nor your stepfather can devote as much time as a parrot needs, then perhaps you can find her a foster home and eventually a new home with someone who knows parrots. I can understand how hard this must be for you and hope you can get her to her appointment today without much drama.

Let me know how it goes today and if you need parrot advice, feel free to email me. I have Macaws, Lavender head amazons, blue front amazons and a cage full of love birds as well as a pair of canarys. I love my birds and have gone all out with their aviary. I consider myself "better than average" experienced in care. Don't fret about today sweetie! You can do it.

~newt

Thank you everyone - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
I just read all of your comments, and I am blessed to have you all thinking of us today. I went up to the house, and my stepfather had the small cage out on the porch. Later he went for a towel. I put the dog (our precious Chihuahua/Terrier mix) in the kitchen and shut the door to the porch. My stepfather knew I was having a hard time. We sat in the sun and talked for some time. Then I asked if we could get her out. We took the bottom of the cage out and I went over to the other side with her bird that she plays with. She is very smart, and she knew something was up. She got in one corner of the cage, but then my stepfather took the towel and tried to get her. She started to climb down, and eventually because the bottom was out she ended up crawling up the outside of the cage to the top. My stepfather got her in the towel, but he got bit. He was holding on as I helped with getting her in the little cage. She sat on the floor of the cage between our two chairs in the sun and we both talked to her and I turned her bird on for her. She was very calm, and in about 20 minutes they left. About one half hour later they returned. The doctor did a wonderful job, and now she can play and I don't have to worry about her being caught. Just the night before my stepfather said she got her one nail caught in a little chain that holds a bell in her cage that she rings.

We have had Morry for 41 years. She is a family member to us, and we love her so much. Her mom loved her, too. She loves her cage, and when she got home all we had to do was match up the two open doors and she immediately climbed into her cage and up on her favorite perch. She is a double-yellow Amazon. She is so precious to us. Many years ago she used to like to get out, but she never does anymore. She is always close to us, eats with the family near her cage, jumps up and down for her favorite foods, watches all the activity out in the yard from the porch, and plays every day with her toy bird. I can honestly say she is so very happy and content. In the cooler months we move her into the TV room where she watches TV with us and always has company. She is always kept warm and safe, and we never have her near an open door in cold weather or where it is drafty. I guess when mom started getting dogs (five now in total over the years) we were more cautious with leaving the cage door open, but she never really was much on coming out. She feels very safe, and it is a beautiful, big cage with lots of room and toys.

I miss my mom so much, and come November 9 it will be a year. I know having her die in the house makes it more difficult at times for me, but it is what she wanted.

Thank you, all of you, for caring. I can honestly say I was thinking of posting my message this morning, knowing you were there for us. God bless you for caring. You have been so kind. Thank you for understanding all the circumstancs involved.

To Parrot Lady - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you for offering to help. I love birds and think they are truly amazing. I forgot to mention that another reason I was so afraid today is that my stepfather is on Coumadin, and any cut or nick in the skin, obviously is not good. Today he got the bleeding under control pretty quickly. The doctor told him she could live to be 85 years old or more. Apparently she was a big hit in the waiting room. My stepfather said people were saying how cute and pretty she was, asking her name, etc. Morry eats that stuff up! I will send you a quick email now.

Morry Parrot - Roma

[ In Reply To ..]
I am reading this late today. But my thoughts and prayers are with you, have lost a lot of my family, including my mother and it is tough at times for sure. I learned a lot about birds today.

I had no idea that a parrot could live so long. Boy, I will put a sticky note up to remind me to pray for you Christine, around that day, the first years is really the toughest, and it never gets easy.

Glad you felt you could ask us for help here.

Hugging You and Morry (((((hugs)))) - You're a sweetheart

[ In Reply To ..]
I just want you to know you are not alone. I have pets too and taking them to the vet is a major event.

You are very kind to help your stepfather. I hope tomorrow will be a brighter day, I somehow think it will be.

Dear Christine-I also lost my dad a year ago Nov 9. - CaliDeb - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I just wanted to say bless you, Morry too.

Just like you I told my dad it was okay to let go and he did... he waited til after the Nascar race though.

November 9 - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
Thanks so much for your message. I will think of you on that day, too. It seems the past two months have been so difficult. It hurts more with the passing of time. Hospice told me that I did exactly what was needed when I essentially released my mom and told her to let go. I hope some day I can get the images of those last weeks out of my mind.

My little Morry is doing just fine. She is being her usual self; shouting at the top of her lungs, playing with the pet bird that repeats everything she says, telling the dog to go outside, and shouting Goodbye to me about a dozen times when I am leaving. She is really something. I love both of the pets dearly, and they have given my stepfather a reason to go on living since mom died. I go up frequently and visit, and sometimes all FOUR of us have dinner together! Thank you again.

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