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I'm feeling down

Posted: Apr 3, 2010

Do ya ever just get down in the dumps and don't know why. Things just hit/get to me at times and lately been feeling more stressed. Feel like I'm going to be working til I keel over in my chair from old age. Never enough money, only one in the family working (economic reasons), no kids, no family, no relatives, no friends. I don't go to church and don't want to go to church. My hair is thinning, and my face is breaking out like I'm going through puberty, and I've got patches of eczema here and there on my face that just started popping up this past week. I'm overweight (yes I need to do something about that). I feel tired all the time even when I get 8 hours of sleep. I miss my mom terribly (she died 5 years ago), and found out a close friend of mine I grew up with who we used to have sleep overs once a month on weekends just committed suicide a little over a month ago. I don't speak to my significant other about my feelings because he feels I'm blaming him, and I would never even think that (its the economy, not his fault), but sometimes being the "family counselor" gets me down. He gets upset if I'm feeling down and just tells me "don't feel that way. I don't so you shouldn't". Oh yeah, that's a man for ya. The last time I showed my feelings when I was feeling down was about 3 years ago and we had a huge fight over it, so I just keep a smile on my face and pretend I am someone I am not. I just feel like I am exhisiting in life and there is no purpose. Things are not as easy as a lot of people think. I can't just do this or do that. My sis tells me you've got to get out and do things. She loves being active, goes to the beach, the parks, has kids, and she does things with her friends she has known since grammar school. In fact the last time I visited I found out she does things with my school friends. Not a big problems really, just thought that kind of funny. We don't have anything in our po-dunk 6,000 person town to do things, unless you want to consider going to Wal-Mart as an outing. No hobby shops, no nothing. Churches, Wal-Mart and a 2 grocery stores. Anyway...I just felt I needed to vent. Even if people don't answer my message, I felt better just writing it all down. Maybe it's because I'm going to be turning 50 in a couple weeks, but birthdays have never hit me before. Maybe its the gloomy weather. Just don't know...all I know is I'm feeling a bit blue.

Anyway....if anyone reads this, no it's not a suicidal note. HA HA (okay, at least I've still got my sense of humor). Maybe I need a pick-me-up vitamin or something, or just needed to vent and could do it here because I have no one else to vent to. Think I'll go watch a comedy for an uplift tonight.

Thanks for listening (reading).

;

Feeling Down - Hope

[ In Reply To ..]
Dear Feeling Down,

Of course, we all have those times. I lost my father about 4 years ago myself, and I can tell that not a day goes by that I don't miss him. I need to get in church myself, but I get down in the dumps all the time. My husband, well nothing bothers him. It's weird how men can be so laid back about things. I am unable to have children because of a medical mistake and that gets to me at times, but life goes on. You just need to believe that your life has a purpose or else you would not have been given life. Sometimes, or many times really I think that if I die and people can say I was kind and good hearted, then my left will have meant something. Try spreading a little sunshine even if it's to one person. You'd be amazed at how great it makes you feel. In the meantime, please know that you are not alone. I trust people too readily, but it's okay. I am here, if you want to make friends and/or have someone to talk to. Keep your chin up.

Hey, I'm here too. Have felt that way myself SM - So sorry

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and still do many times. It sounds like you really need someone to talk to, just to talk, not to "fix" anything. Most men don't get that. I wish you had just one person in your life you could interact with. I'm here, though, and I understand. :)

Thanks Hope and So sorry - Dont know why

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Isn't that strange how men react to things. No sense talking to him as I don't need to be told that I need to see things the way he does and just not feel the way I do. I too am unable to have children. They never found a medical problem. He was fine on the sperm count and nobody ever found anything wrong with me. I took fertility drugs for years and finally stopped. Did everything from soaking in special fertility mud baths to hanging upside down afterward. Every crazy thing out there we tried. Nothing worked. Then a few years back I had an ectopic pregnancy with a tube and ovary removed. So that pretty much did it. Now at 50 I go through periods at times glad not to have kids, other times have an ache to hold a child and hear "I love you mommy", or to have a daughter or son to sit and talk with and watch grow into adulthood, and all the little joys that go along with having children. Kind of breaks my heart at times. But then all I have to think about is the Menendez brothers and I get over those feelings real quick. LOL. Another thing I don't discuss with my husband and he is more than perfectly happy we don't have kids. I miss my mom and our talks, miss my grandmas and our talks. I guess it's just mostly loneliness of having family or my childhood friends to do things with. I grew up with a lot of friends. Then joined the service and kept in touch with my friends and made new ones. Then got out and became a military wife and had a whole new support group to get together with. Spent most of my young adult life (11 years) living in other countries and traveling around. After that we moved to "Podunkland" where we got jobs. He lost his and now I just work and there is absolutely no work here.

I just haven't found a purpose in life. I just cannot believe that I was put on this earth just to work and take care my DH, pay bills and watch TV. If that's my purpose in life, well I just think that sucks.

I do know when I die people will say I was a good person. I did everything I could to help out others. So maybe that is why I was put here, so that people would say I was a nice and funny person when I was alive. But then again after I die there probably won't be anyone to say anything except a distant relative who doesn't really know me.

But while here I like to make other people happy and do what I can for them, so maybe that is my purpose...to make others happy. If so I will have to settle for that. My friends now lie on the gab board. I was glad to hear from you both, and at least I don't feel so alone in my feelings. Guess it's just one of those things that will work itself out eventually.

Sorry to hear you're feeling down. - Have you tried

[ In Reply To ..]
facebook? I know how that sounds, and I don't have one myself (my friends and I are in a stand-off about it now, because they all push me to do it), but I know, through my friends, that it is an excellent way to rekindle old friendships, and a lot of people use it practically for their sole form of socializing. Now, do I think that's an ideal situation? Not necessarily; but in your position, far from everything/everyone you know, it really might help you.

As far as your being the strong, stoic person in your family who doesn't get to be down, that's kind of the role I have in mine, too. Only, I actually don't get down very often. I have more of the "man" mentality in my marriage, and my husband is in the more emotional "woman" role. Don't take that wrong, I'm very feminine and he's very masculine, we're just an odd couple in that way. I just always see the glass half full, and I always find the good (or silver lining) in every situation. I've tried and tried to get my husband to see things my way, but it just doesn't work. It's not something you can teach, or at least I can't seem to. For me, I think it comes from being totally happy and content with myself. I don't need much outside stimulation to keep my happy. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that my sister and my mom tend to get depressed, stressed, anxious so often, and somehow I worked hard to not be like them. Who knows? It takes a LOT to get me down, but when I am, it is hard for me to talk about sometimes because that just isn't what I "do," if you know what I mean. I am lucky to have some good friends I can talk to, though, and that makes all the difference in the world.

You know, I'll bet they have military spouse chat forums somewhere, as well, probably even on facebook. I'm sure you'll find your "niche" if you reach out. It does suck that you can't talk to your husband about things, but it is what it is at this point, right?

And if nothing else, you have this gab board, and people who are willing to listen and offer support. I truly wish for you to find some peace and happiness!

Ummm...trying to figure out why this thread got - move to Health Issues?

[ In Reply To ..]
*

Me too since it's not dealing with a health issue - Dont know why

[ In Reply To ..]
x

......because it seems to be about depression - hint

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

"Seeming" to be about depression doesn't seem like - reason to move the thread. More like a person who

[ In Reply To ..]
*

Oops, cut myself off; meant to say a person who is lonely - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
*

I am the original poster and you are correct - This is not a health/medical issue

[ In Reply To ..]
I am not depressed. I am lonely and miss my family and just am plain bored silly. Tired of working all the time, and I thought the gab board was a place where we could chit chat about issues other than religion, politics, and health. There was no medical or health issue I was diagnosed with or was asking for anyone's advice on, so don't know why it was moved here. I did not even mention the word depression in my note. I was just feeling sad and lonely and wanted to vent (being sad and lonely, etc does not make someone depressed), but that was the moderators choice to move the message here.

I have enjoyed reading the responses and thank everyone for replying. I'm in better spirits today. Think the nice weather here kind of washed my blues away.

Anyway...thank you all for replying, but no, this is not a health issue and I wish it had not been moved here.

I'm feeling down . . . don't know why - Nina

[ In Reply To ..]
Surely there is something to do in a 6000 person town! There are only 720 people in my town, you have to drive 30 minutes just to get groceries, but I still keep myself busy!!!!!

Yeah there is.... - Dont know why

[ In Reply To ..]
Outings to do in my town:

- Shopping at Wal-Mart.
- Shopping at K-Mart.
- Shopping at the automotive part store.
- Shopping at the grocery store.
- Church (NO thank you).
- Visit the cemetery.
- Visit patients (strangers) in the hospital as a volunteer (which I would have to start up a group because they don't have them at the hospital here).
- Take walks up a dirt road and look at the stars at night.
- Join a bible study group (again NO thank you).
- Go to a movie. Yes, we do have a movie theatre, but the last time there was a good movie playing was about 2 or 3 months ago).

We have no parks, no public pools, no YMCA, no miniature golf, no hobby shops, no library, no groups that we have anything common in interest in, 3 hours to the nearest city.

I also have no friends here so I don't get together with people and just sit around and gab. My friends and family are across the country, so keep in touch via email.

So, no, unless I want to change my religious viewpoints and join a church (again NO thank you) there is nothing to do.

I agree about Facebook. Or even Twitter. - deb

[ In Reply To ..]
I had to give up Twitter because I got so involved with it, following so many fascinating people, that I became addicted and couldn't get my work done! Tons of different people on Twitter, celebrities, producers of TV shows, Roger Ebert, people of all ages, there's a ton of fascinating people out there. The hardest thing is keeping messages short!

Lonesome but hate Facebook sm - Mare

[ In Reply To ..]
This occupation led me to isolation which is not good. I never discussed anything I heard, didn't gossip, etc., leaving me with little friends as most love to "gossip." ? are they really "friends"? I try Facebook but I think Farmville, Mafia Wars and all that other stuff is foolish and silly. Sometimes I have 50-60 requests for that foolish stuff. I do get blue but I think it's because I don't get caught up in foolish things. My mind goes to a higher place. Perhaps you don't understand but I can't tolerate wasting time with nonsense. I feel blue too, so misery loves company I guess. Maybe it's our profession where we have to listen intently and not act like fools. Ya think? I also find a lot of "wars" on FB, personal attacks, etc., who needs that??? Ridiculous.

Don't take this the wrong way, because I don't - mean it in a negative way,

[ In Reply To ..]
but if not getting caught up in foolish things and having your mind go to a higher place is causing you to be blue, not have friends, and be lonely, then what are you really gaining by not indulging in those dalliances? To my mind, the only reason to do, or not do, anything as benign as those activities are would be if that was what made you happy (or happiER). In your case, at least the way you presented it, that doesn't seem to by the outcome.

In other words, if you can't beat 'em, and you're sad and lonely, join 'em!

Wondering how Don't Know Why poster SM - Tired person

[ In Reply To ..]
from a week ago is doing. I was re-reading the posts, and I wondered if possibly she was having symptoms of menopause? It did't occur to me then, but she said she was turning 50. Menopause can cause all sorts of "emotional" ups and downs, making small things seem like very big things, etc. Feelings of loneliness, sadness, tears for no reason, etc. Anyway, I hope she reads this and responds.

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