A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

Daughter's boss problem


Posted: Dec 12, 2010

My daughter is 19 and has been on her first job for two months at a card store in the mall (don't know if we can use store names here, but it's a national card and gift store, if you know what I mean).  She loved the job at first, really enjoys waiting on the customers, helping them find just the right thing, loves the feedback she gets from her customers -

At first her supervisor, the woman who hired her, was very nice.  They even found  out they have some things in common, and she thought they even might turn out to be friends.  They found they have had experience in common of having left college because the party atmosphere and all the drunk roommates made it impossible to study.  The boss dropped out completely and has been working this store ever since.  My daughter is going to another college and commuting from home - not easy but she wants it very badly. 

After the first couple of weeks, the boss started treating her as a nuisance, "bossing" her around, cutting her hours, and she and the other supervisor have basically kept this up now for about six weeks.  The other girls like her and work well with her.  She is somewhat of a perfectionist and does things maybe a little slower than she could, but she can do her job.  Today she came home from her first 8-hour workday in tears because she had been pulled off the register and not allowed to interact with customers, was just restocking shelves, and no one will tell her why.  She said she found out "for certain" that her boss is talking about her behind her back, that she can't do her job, but she's not saying anything to my daughter about that, just treating her badly. 

I've been working from home for 20 years, now.  One of the best parts of working at home as an IC is not having to deal with office politics.  I have no idea what to tell her.  There has to be a way to get someone to intervene, but with both supervisors acting this way, she can't imagine who, or what channels to go through.  I suggested she try to get transferred to another store, but she's already starting to give up and wants to quit.  The irony is that she loved the job until this started and if it weren't for this problem she'd still love it. 

Does anybody have any creative ideas about how to resolve this without her having to quit?

;

well..... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
She is going to have to confront the supervisors (both toghether) directly. It may or may not work, but if it doesn't, if this is a national chain, certainly there is a "higher up" that she can call. She just needs to tell them that she enjoys her job and she woudl appreciate if they would tell her what it is she is doing that they have such a problem with, so that she can improve and be better at her job.

If it is two supervisors just being immature, then confrontation sometimes will stop the "bullying" behavior, sometimes not though.

I worked for a doctor once and of course doctors can be moody anyway, but he would yell at me like on an hourly basis. No matter what I did, he yelled at me. Finally, I went into his office and closed the door and asked him if he was TRYING to make me quit and he said he was not and he appreciated the job I did. I told him that his yelling at me did not express appreciation in my eyes and it makes me feel like he does not like me or like the job I am doing. He actually apologized and while he didn't turn into a sweetheart overnight, he did tone it down and it was a much more pleasant work environment.

It is okay for her to "vent" to you, but I have found that facing a situation head on is usually the best and most effective way of dealing with things.

I am really not able to judge from your story, and it certainly shouldn\'t be... - ndmt

[ In Reply To ..]
a guessing game for us as the supervisor should be giving her clear feedback, but if \"she was pulled off the register and not allowed to interact with the customers\" could it be in that this busy holiday season her interaction with customers was being viewed by some as increasing their time standing in line? Could a customer have complained about it?

Like I said, I cannot be certain, but I worked at a store once where we were specifically instructed not to try fill individual customer requests but pack as much inventory on the all ready full shelves and push as many people through the line as quickly as possible. It didn\'t make a lot of sense to me and I didn\'t work there long because not being able to interact with anyone made the days long and boring.

It seems that she is good with sales & likes customer interaction so maybe she needs a new store.

resolve without having to quit - ?

[ In Reply To ..]
The alternative to resolving the issue is quitting?

No one enjoys an uncomfortable work environment, but your daughter is a 19-year-old young woman who needs to learn that we cannot quit jobs because people won't be our friends.

In the meantime, directness is always the best policy. Your daughter should bring her questions/concerns to a supervisor.

We have gone through similar...sm - mistoverthemoor

[ In Reply To ..]
I had to confront a person and my husband recently had to confront a supervisor about bullying behavior...if you google bully bosses, you should get several websites with advice that can help....one of them being bigbadboss.com, also look up narcisstic personality disorder and if you are a Christian, "Confronting the Jezebel Spirit, How to Defeat a Spirit of Control and Manipulation" by Steve Sampson...it's one of my favorite books.

Hope this helps. I highly dislike bullies.

That was really good advice! - Worried Mom

[ In Reply To ..]
It was amazing reading through this material just how my daughter's situation fits the profile! Reading it gave her hope that she doesn't have to just roll over and take it. Thanks for the tip!
You are most welcome...sm - Duchess
[ In Reply To ..]
I highly dislike bullies... ;)

Glad to be of help. This seems to be an up and coming new type of problem everywhere. I think as MTs we have been experiencing this for quite some time. Now, it is starting to go on everywhere else. It needs to be stopped, bullying, that is...

Similar Messages:


Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old BossSep 30, 2015
Straight from the lips of the heir apparent to the Republican Speaker of the House: “Everybody thought Hillary Clinton was unbeatable, right? But we put together a Benghazi Special Committee — a Select Committee — what are her numbers today? Her numbers are dropping.”  Kevin McCarthy  Still true-- if a Republican cannot win by votes, they will win by lyiing and cheating. ...

Leaked Email - Fox BossDec 09, 2010
slanting news reporting. Surprise! ...

Watching Undercover BossJan 18, 2015
 Don't ya just wish? ...

Democrats Side With Union Boss Over Veterans In VAApr 13, 2017
Firing Offense: Democrats are constantly bleating about the need to better serve the nation's veterans. Yet when it comes down to it, they would rather bow to their union masters than allow the VA to fire workers who aren't doing their jobs. The proof is the Democrats' fervent opposition to a simple reform being pushed by Republicans — the VA Accountability First Act. This bill would let the Veterans Affairs secretary fire someone and not have to wait a month for the person t ...

US Factory Boss Held Hostage By Workers In BeijingJun 24, 2013
I hope to see this more and more.  Cooporations cannot keep treating employees like this.     http://news.yahoo.com/us-factory-boss-held-hostage-workers-beijing-074855847.html ...

My Daughter Sent Me An ItemNov 11, 2009
About a sick child wanting Xmas cards.  I double checked the story at Snopes, and it's true. Please check this link:  http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/medical/biorkman.asp ...

The Loss Of A DaughterJan 16, 2011
One of my best friends has a daughter (her only child) who has been fighting cancer for 10 years.   The daughter is soon to turn 43. My friend called me tonight telling me she and her son-in-law put the daughter on Hospice this past week.  Her battle is soon to come to an end. The original site of the tumor was in the left neck.  She mentioned to her dentist a numbness of the left side of her tongue.  He sent her for tests and the tumor was found.  She has been th ...

I Think My Dog May Be Jealous Of My Daughter.Dec 07, 2010
We adopted a dog about three months ago.  She was six months when we got her.  She's a chihuahua/rat terrier mix.  She is as sweet as she can be and has basically become "my" dog in that we have bonded and love each other, but recently she's started snapping at my daughter.  At night, I let the dog up on the bed with me while I watch TV and my daughter usually cuddles with me.  Lately, the dog has taken to growling at my daughter when she gets in bed.  And ...

Why Does Brangelina's DaughterDec 04, 2010
Shiloh (sp?) always look like a boy?  She never looks like a girl, always dressed in boy-ish clothes.  I thought I read somewhere that she likes to be called by a different name... a boy's name... but don't remember what it was.  What's up with that?  I don't get it.  ...

Please Pray For My DaughterDec 01, 2010
My daughter is disabled with Rheumatoid Arthritis and also has Diabetes.  Her name is Brandi and she has had 24 surgeries due to RA since she was 14.  She is now 23.  Brandi is 12 weeks pregnant.  Please pray for good health for my daughter and grandchild.    Thank you, Tammy ...

HELP!! Daughter Out Of ControlJul 07, 2011
My oldest daughter, 19 years, is on my last nerve.  She is totally out of control and I am about to throw her out.  Her plans for college are out the window.  She started working at a resturant, is making a little money and has decided that "college would be too expensive".  She had a scholarship of $5000 per semester, but isn't going to use it!  She actually called the college that accepted her and told them she wasn't coming! She is staying out very late or ...

Troubled DaughterMar 09, 2012
I have a 17-year-old daughter who I just dont know what to do with anymore. She is in consant trouble at school, kicked-out all the time, smoking marijauna, drinking, having sex, talks back, wont do her chores, wont comply with teachers at school, sleeps through school and I have even been called up to the school for several occasions because of her bad behavior and the teachers inability to get her to calm down or cooperate. I have tried counseling, took her to the doctor. The counselor th ...

Help With My Daughter's IllnessOct 04, 2011
My daughter is 38 and puts off going to the doctor like her Mom does.  A couple of weeks ago, she went to doc because she had been bleeding in-between her periods, but also very heavy menstrual cycles, to the point of being anemic.  She also was having pressure and pain in her abdomen. She was found to have a tumor/fibroid about the size of a cantaloupe in/on her uterus.  She went for biopsy yesterday and they could not pass scope due to its size and pressure on other organs.&nbs ...

Disappointed Daughter...Jun 18, 2012
I have been astranged from my dad for 8 months now.  I got another phone and new number, not just because of him but other reasons too, and never shared my # and neither did anyone else who knew it.  I moved and he did not know exactly where I lived, knew the general area, but didn't know where exactly.  My reasoning was a few years of him constantly borrowing money, never paying it back, constantly wanting to borrow this or that, mostly money though.  Had actually stol ...

Daughter With AgoraphobiaAug 25, 2012
A very bad beginning to the weekend, which started out so hopefully.  My daughter, who is turning 21 in a few weeks, has been diagnosed with agoraphobia.  Three years ago she started college, which turned out to be disasterous becuase of the combination of living in a dorm with three binge drinkers and her anxiety disorder.  She had to transfer to a local college and commute, which she's done for the last two years, and live at home.  But the local college doesn't h ...

Please Pray For Me And My Daughter Dec 10, 2013
I made arrangements to pay part of my rent late this month.  I have to pay by the 20th, but there is no way I am going to have the funds.  If nothing changes, I will be evicted on December 23.  I don't know how to explain this to my 10 yo little girl.  How do I say Merry Christmas to her?  Today I got a notice from the MTSO where I work that my pay is being cut AND I got a notice from the IRS stating they were putting a lien on my bank account for back taxes.  ...

Need Prayer For My DaughterFeb 21, 2014
I really need prayer for my 23-year-old daughter who has been using prescription pain pills for the past few years. We tried to get her help when she lived here, but now that she is not at home there is nothing we can really do. I really believe she is still using and know she is ruining her life. I have been completely depressed since all of this started and cannot enjoy my life at all anymore knowing what is going on with her. Thank you so much for your prayers. ...

A Step-daughterJul 08, 2014
A few months back I posted about my stepfather, who was becoming involved with a much younger woman he met at the senior center.  He turned 90 in march;  She 70 in February.  She packs on the makeup, wears tight shorts, wears hats with a feather on, which she cocks to one side of her head.  She is disgusting.  She lies and starts trouble at every turn. Sadly, my relationship with my stepfather is over.  He believes this woman loves him.  He has moved her in, g ...

I'd Like To Ask For Prayers For My Daughter-in-law. She Was (sm)Jan 06, 2017
diagnosed with metastatic cholangiocarcinoma and doctor told my son and her mother that if she responds to chemo, she may have up to 18 months, but if she doesn't, it's probably more like 6 months.  My son is devastated.  She is in her mid-40s, and they have been married for only 2 years.  They both finally found happiness, and I am heartbroken.  I am trying so hard to have faith that she can beat this, but it is so hard.  Please pray for her.  Thank you. ...

Prayers For My DaughterMar 05, 2015
Please please include my daughter and her children in your prayers. She is suffering with such severe depression and is becoming suicidal. She is a single mother of 2 young girls. I have so much fear in my heart for her, it is indescribable, and I don't know where to turn. Please pray for her to find her way through this darkness. ...

Like Father, Like DaughterMay 17, 2015
http://www.newsmax.com/t/newsmax/article/645102 ...

If You Have A Son/daughter That Divorced..Jun 04, 2015
were you able to maintain a friendship with the ex DIL or SIL? ...

Wallpaper For Daughter's RoomFeb 15, 2011
Hello, I am posting a picture from a furniture catalog/website and I was curious if anyone knew how to find out where to get the wallpaper from the picture or a better way to search for it.  I have searched high and low and cant find anything even similar.  Thanks in advance.  ...

Teen Daughter's Job DramaJul 16, 2010
My 17-year-old daughter called me on her break (she works in fast food) and said her manager had walked up behind her and slapped her arm, then scolded her about something she was doing wrong.  I could tell she had been crying, but it was 2 hours after the incident had happened.  I asked her if it just hurt her feelings or if she slapped her hard enough that it hurt.  She said it was hard enough that it stung for about 5 minutes.   How upset would you be if it were your ...

My Daughter's School Will Tell Her Tomorrow If I Don'tDec 17, 2012
I haven't told my child about Conn.  She is not ready for that tragic reality. If I don't send her this week and wait until after the holidays, I risk jail time for noncompliance of state education laws.  But all they will do this week is holiday things and not focus on the usual schedule.  And she will hear about these things at school instead of me.  She is not exposed to TV or radio, or as yet, any friends who might talk about it.  I got an email from the pr ...

Daughter Starting CollegeApr 27, 2013
Hello all - my daughter will be starting college in the fall and we are in the process of trying to find financial aid. Does anyone have info on how to get grants? Is there usually a family income max that would allow/disallow anyone from getting a grant? I know I will need to talk to the college's financial aid office but any info that can be passed along would be appreciated. We already completed the FAFSA and my daughter got a small loan through that, but she was not awarded any gran ...

Daughter Starting CollegeMay 07, 2013
I don't come on here very often but wanted to acknowledge that I saw your replies below.  I have completed the FAFSA and my daughter was able to get a very small unsubsidized loan, but not even enough to cover one semester.  I will try the suggestion of the forum.  My daughter will be going to a university and the realization of how much money this is going to cost is overwhelming... and then to think that all that money will be spent and she may not even be able to get ...

Trump Patting His Daughter's Behind...Jul 25, 2016
http://crooksandliars.com/2016/07/everyone-creeped-out-donald-trump-touching I want to hear how this is a good thing...   ...

Can You Vote For My Daughter For A HoneymoonOct 01, 2013
If you guys or gals have a face book and would be so inclined please please like wedding paper divas and then search Ashley  (she is in front of Cinderella castle) the contest ends tonight at midnight pacific time and she needs to move up one spot for a chance at a honeymoon.  http://offerpop.com/FacebookTabCommon.psp?a=340493986057345&p=20005774861&c=436972&id=2100740&v=Entry ...

Have An Older Daughter And I Mostly Stay Out Of HerFeb 17, 2014
My daughter is past 35. She was married before but that ended in divorce a few years ago. I was very at ease when she was married and figured her husband had her back. Fast forward. We live in the same town. She is now divorced and I am her next of kin. I know absolutely nothing about her business, not where she banks, not where she has her medical insurance, would think probably with her job, but not sure, don't know her physician's name, passwords to her computer, absolutely not ...