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Daughter's boss problem

Posted: Dec 12, 2010

My daughter is 19 and has been on her first job for two months at a card store in the mall (don't know if we can use store names here, but it's a national card and gift store, if you know what I mean). She loved the job at first, really enjoys waiting on the customers, helping them find just the right thing, loves the feedback she gets from her customers -

At first her supervisor, the woman who hired her, was very nice. They even found out they have some things in common, and she thought they even might turn out to be friends. They found they have had experience in common of having left college because the party atmosphere and all the drunk roommates made it impossible to study. The boss dropped out completely and has been working this store ever since. My daughter is going to another college and commuting from home - not easy but she wants it very badly.

After the first couple of weeks, the boss started treating her as a nuisance, "bossing" her around, cutting her hours, and she and the other supervisor have basically kept this up now for about six weeks. The other girls like her and work well with her. She is somewhat of a perfectionist and does things maybe a little slower than she could, but she can do her job. Today she came home from her first 8-hour workday in tears because she had been pulled off the register and not allowed to interact with customers, was just restocking shelves, and no one will tell her why. She said she found out "for certain" that her boss is talking about her behind her back, that she can't do her job, but she's not saying anything to my daughter about that, just treating her badly.

I've been working from home for 20 years, now. One of the best parts of working at home as an IC is not having to deal with office politics. I have no idea what to tell her. There has to be a way to get someone to intervene, but with both supervisors acting this way, she can't imagine who, or what channels to go through. I suggested she try to get transferred to another store, but she's already starting to give up and wants to quit. The irony is that she loved the job until this started and if it weren't for this problem she'd still love it.

Does anybody have any creative ideas about how to resolve this without her having to quit?

;

well..... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
She is going to have to confront the supervisors (both toghether) directly. It may or may not work, but if it doesn't, if this is a national chain, certainly there is a "higher up" that she can call. She just needs to tell them that she enjoys her job and she woudl appreciate if they would tell her what it is she is doing that they have such a problem with, so that she can improve and be better at her job.

If it is two supervisors just being immature, then confrontation sometimes will stop the "bullying" behavior, sometimes not though.

I worked for a doctor once and of course doctors can be moody anyway, but he would yell at me like on an hourly basis. No matter what I did, he yelled at me. Finally, I went into his office and closed the door and asked him if he was TRYING to make me quit and he said he was not and he appreciated the job I did. I told him that his yelling at me did not express appreciation in my eyes and it makes me feel like he does not like me or like the job I am doing. He actually apologized and while he didn't turn into a sweetheart overnight, he did tone it down and it was a much more pleasant work environment.

It is okay for her to "vent" to you, but I have found that facing a situation head on is usually the best and most effective way of dealing with things.

I am really not able to judge from your story, and it certainly shouldn\'t be... - ndmt

[ In Reply To ..]
a guessing game for us as the supervisor should be giving her clear feedback, but if \"she was pulled off the register and not allowed to interact with the customers\" could it be in that this busy holiday season her interaction with customers was being viewed by some as increasing their time standing in line? Could a customer have complained about it?

Like I said, I cannot be certain, but I worked at a store once where we were specifically instructed not to try fill individual customer requests but pack as much inventory on the all ready full shelves and push as many people through the line as quickly as possible. It didn\'t make a lot of sense to me and I didn\'t work there long because not being able to interact with anyone made the days long and boring.

It seems that she is good with sales & likes customer interaction so maybe she needs a new store.

resolve without having to quit - ?

[ In Reply To ..]
The alternative to resolving the issue is quitting?

No one enjoys an uncomfortable work environment, but your daughter is a 19-year-old young woman who needs to learn that we cannot quit jobs because people won't be our friends.

In the meantime, directness is always the best policy. Your daughter should bring her questions/concerns to a supervisor.

We have gone through similar...sm - mistoverthemoor

[ In Reply To ..]
I had to confront a person and my husband recently had to confront a supervisor about bullying behavior...if you google bully bosses, you should get several websites with advice that can help....one of them being bigbadboss.com, also look up narcisstic personality disorder and if you are a Christian, "Confronting the Jezebel Spirit, How to Defeat a Spirit of Control and Manipulation" by Steve Sampson...it's one of my favorite books.

Hope this helps. I highly dislike bullies.

That was really good advice! - Worried Mom

[ In Reply To ..]
It was amazing reading through this material just how my daughter's situation fits the profile! Reading it gave her hope that she doesn't have to just roll over and take it. Thanks for the tip!

You are most welcome...sm - Duchess

[ In Reply To ..]
I highly dislike bullies... ;)

Glad to be of help. This seems to be an up and coming new type of problem everywhere. I think as MTs we have been experiencing this for quite some time. Now, it is starting to go on everywhere else. It needs to be stopped, bullying, that is...

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