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Opinions on college dorms versus off-campus housing please...son wants to rent next year.

Posted: Dec 15, 2009

My 18-year-old son is currently a freshman and staying on campus in a dorm with one roommate. He's three hours from home. Yesterday he called me and asked me if he could rent a house next school year with three other roommates. It would be a lot cheaper but my main concern is safety and the neverending distractions he'll have that goes with living in a house full of people. I told him we'd discuss it in a couple of days when he comes home for winter break. Can someone tell me the pros and cons of living off campus? My gut tells me he should stay on campus since it's safer.

;

what I've learned - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I lived off-campus when I was in college, never in a dorm. My oldest son, who is now 21, spent 2 years in a dorm and this year moved to off-campus housing. As far as distractions go, there are just as many, if not more distractions in a dorm full of kids. There is slightly more supervision, but dorms are loud and germy. I liked living off campus. I definitely felt more adult, and acted more adult. My roommates and I had real responsibilities, and we worked and went to school, and for the most part, we were all serious about what we were doing. My son describes dorms as "play halls". Of course, he's 21, so his tolerance for newly arrived freshmen staying up all hours and making noise is now fairly low. He much prefers living in an off-campus apartment, but he is sharing with 21 and 22 year olds who are juniors and seniors. They seem to be a nice group of guys. I knew they were maturing when I brought them a box of cleaning supplies and they were genuinely happy and said, "Wow! Cleaning stuff is expensive. Thanks! That's a real help."

Living off campus, however, can mean more access to alcohol. Most schools have rules about having alcohol on campus. In a private house, that's not going to be the case. (Not that drinking doesn't occur in dorms. We know it does!)

Of course, there are the finances. Whose name is on the lease? What happens when someone doesn't pay? How are the food expenses and other apartment expenses being shared? My son still carries a modified food plan at his school, so he eats 2 meals a day in the dining halls. That was helpful, and you might look into that. But do consider how expenses will be paid... and most importantly, what will happen when someone doesn't pay. It seems to always happen. If you can discuss finances with the parents of the other students, so much the better.

Think it through carefully, and you'll start to see the situation more clearly.

Thank you! This is the kind of advice I was looking for...sm - TIA

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you so much for this. You just gave me a whole new insight on the matter and some really great advice. I think talking to the other parents might put my mind at ease since having one roommate being late on the rent was another one of my big concerns. Something tells me my son is not going to back down.

Your welcome. - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
The big thing when I was living off campus was always late rent. I shared a 2 bedroom house with 3 other girls, and someone was always late with the rent, which meant the rest of us were making up the difference. Emotions, especially in a house of girls, could run high. We wanted to help each other, but being late with the rent because a roommate just had to have a pair of pretty new shoes...well, we learned to put pressure on and kick out those who couldn't manage their money.

That was a different situation than with my son. In my case, I lived in a big city and went to a big university. We all had jobs and paid our own way... no help from parents. Paying rent could sometimes be a shaky thing.

In my son's case, all the parents are paying, and so the rent is generally on time. Occasionally, one of the guys hasn't turned over rent money as quickly as he should, but we haven't had any big issues.

Explore the options, and remember, it's your checkbook. Even if your son doesn't want to back down, in the end, it's your hard earned money. He has to be responsible enough to be a good investment for you, and his roommates have to be reliable, as well.

I think a lot depends on where this house is and - sm -

[ In Reply To ..]
and the maturity of the guys involved. I lived in the dorm for the first 2 years, then 3rd year got a 1 BR apt with my roommate, saved my parents a lot as they paid the rent and I covered food (worked 2 PT jobs while going to school), my 4th year I got a 2 BR apt and shared with one of my BFs from high school and her boyfriend, thus saving my parent's even more money. I don't think we ever had a party, was too busy with school and work to goof off too much. Some guy friends of mine as well really did not goof off much either, they had a couple parties but maybe 3 the entire year, but they only had 2 to a 2 BR apt. These apartments were also literally across the street from the college campus, so it was relatively safe though you still had to be careful, had the odd mugging, and at one point a rapist on campus. This was a very small campus though (art school), 500 to 600 kids, 800 at most. ---I did try to talk my parents into allowing 5 of us to rent a townhouse, they vetoed that idea for my 2nd year, would have been 2 girls, 3 guys, they were less than thrilled with that idea. So most of us ended up in the dorm for 2 years, then moved across the street to the apartments, though one stayed there the entire time he went to school (5 years) and his room was party central, hence the reason it took him five years to graduate, he was always stoned. I partied more in the dorm then I did out of it. So I would think getting him out sooner is good actually, though not sure a house with 3 others is good. Would have to work out all the details on rent payment, make sure all 4 are on the lease, cover your butt as you will have to co-sign in order for him to get the lease. As long as he would have his own room and the guys are not all inconsiderate jerks it would work, though a 2 BR apt may be a good compromise to start. Good luck.

Great points especially on the location...sm - TIA

[ In Reply To ..]
Your post was a definite reality check. There are definitely some good points and very bad points about living off campus I need to consider. The university my son goes to is huge...30,000 students and there is definitely a lot of crime in the area...mostly muggings like you said and theft. I would definitely have to see exactly where the house is located and what it looks like first. I'm trying to keep an open mind about the whole thing though I have to admit, it's stressing me out thinking about it.

Thanks again for your post.

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