A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry
My best friend
Posted: Dec 27, 2010
I just need to unload some of this now. My best friend, Jane (whom I have literally know since kindergarten) had a serious bout of depression about two months ago. She called me one evening telling me she had a meltdown at work. She told me at that time she was suicidal. I asked if she had a plan. She said she did. That terrified me, and I talked to her that night on the phone urging her to get help. She did just that. She is now seeing a therapist and is on medication. After a few weeks she was doing somewhat better, at least the constant crying stopped.
In the past 6 months she had to take two of her dogs to be euthanized. She held them and said goodbye. The second one was one week before Christmas.
Today I spoke to her and asked her how she was doing. She told me a few days before Christmas she had her wallet stolen while shopping. She had just gone to the ATM for her mom, who depends on Jane for so much. She got $100.00 out for her mother, and she got $100.00 out of her own account. She said a man came up to her pretending to be looking at Christmas stockings in the store and asked her opinion on which to buy. She now knows the woman with him took the wallet from her handbag. They were obviously working together, and now Jane is out $200.00. Of course, her driver's license was taken, her Social Security card, etc.
I try to support her and always encourage her to vent to me no matter what. When my mom passed away November 2009 I could not have made it without Jane. We go back so many years she feels like a part of me. When she was suicidal several weeks ago I urged her to speak to her grown sons, and she did. They kept a close eye on her. I want so badly to help her and take away some of the pain, but I am feeling at a loss now. I am so concerned, and I am hurting for her. Thanks for reading.
;
She is lucky... - Anon
[ In Reply To ..]to have you for a friend. I just can't imagine being depressed and suicidal, AND having my dogs put down, and lose the money and license. Your advice in sending her to a therapist and encouraging her to talk to her son was wonderful, and probably saved her life. I think if you get really scared, it would be appropriate for you to contact her therapist and let him/her know what's going on. Maybe her meds could be adjusted.
I once worked for a very wise psychiatrist, who always told her patients in crisis to "clean out a closet or your drawers." Sounds simple and stupid, I know, but taking their minds off themselves and doing something constructive that they could feel good about accomplishing, got them through some really bad times.
Try not to let yourself be manipulated or let her become to too dependent on you. Take care of YOU too!
Wish I had a friend like you!
Thank You - Hurting
[ In Reply To ..]I appreciate your kind words. I value friendship, and I am always trying to be there for the people around me. I guess that's why I reached out to you; because I feel I am helpless and want to do more for her.
I just called Jane. She broke down when she told me she picks up Abby's ashes on Friday. Abby was her beloved Golden Retriever of 12 years. She has said many times to me in past years that when Abby goes she will want to go with her. The bond was tremendous. She had Abby since she was a little puppy. I just told her I am thinking of her every day. I told her that acceptance takes time, and gradually she will be able to deal with Abby's death and will accept that she is no longer here. I told her that the choices were taken from her. She had to release her from her suffering.
Thanks again for reading my post and for supporting me. I feel almost like it happened to me. She is a true friend, and she has been there for me countless times in the past. God bless you.
pet loss - CrispyCritterMT
[ In Reply To ..]There is a site, The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement, that has chats for people who have lost a beloved pet. Their chats are Monday, Wednesday and Friday (except for this Friday because of NYE) from 8 to 10 and Sunday 2 to 4. This helped me tremendously when I lost my best frient, my dog Scooter, a couple weeks before Christmas 3 years ago. I've added the link, hope it works.
venting - rejoyce
[ In Reply To ..]I have struggled with depression in the past so please listen to me when I tell you that venting is good to a point, then you have to interrupt those negative thoughts with healthy practices because excessive venting leads to ruminating, which leads to more depression, it is a viscious cycle that you have to interrupt or you will stay depressed. You can't change your friend and you can't get sucked into her depression either. I didn't mean to preach, I only hope this helps someone.
Venting - Hurting
[ In Reply To ..]I assume you were replying to my post, as you mention my friend.
The reason I encouraged her to vent to me is because up until this terrible bout of depression Jane has kept things to herself. I knew she was getting worse, but she still held it in and would not talk about it. That's why I asked her to please see a therapist. Now she is also opening up more to me. That is what has brought about the improvement in her depression. Now she is dealing with the loss of her dog and the money and cards being stolen. Jane will never be guility of laying too much on a person. I wish she would have been more open. Even though we have been best friends she always kept a lot of her problems to herself. I am thankful she is learning how to share her feelings now, particularly to those closest to her. I understand the point you were making. Thanks for your thoughts.
Similar Messages:
I Can't Seem To Let My Friend Help MeDec 10, 2010
I have a wonderful friend who happens to have a husband worth millions. I live quite far below poverty level. I'm a single mom and I do make ends meet, bills are paid, child is happy, we truly do have everything we need. My car is paid for and I easily manage my tiny mortgage. Here's the thing -- a couple of months ago part of my tooth broke away from the filling and I really need dental care (of course, I have no insurance). My dear friend insists on ...
Friend Needs HelpApr 04, 2011
I have a friend who is dire need of some kinds of help, and I don't know what to suggest for him. He's a guy in his late 50's, and a few weeks ago he had a terrible bike accident. It was nighttime, he was in the city, and he hit some kind of a curb or a barrier, and went flying. He was pretty sure he dislocated his hip, and sprained both wrists. The problem is that he's currently unemployed, and has no health insurance. Apparently he was alone when i ...
Bad FriendJun 10, 2010
I have been so wrapped up, so busy with work, sick husband, grandchild and more work, that I completely FORGOT my friend's daughter's high school graduation. I mean, I absolutely forgot. I don't know what to say to her. I feel so bad. What should I do? ...
Looking For An Old FriendApr 19, 2012
Trying to reconnect with my old friend, Anne Newbould - can anybody help? Thanks. ...
Friend With OCDMay 24, 2013
Hi all, One of hubby's co-workers has OCD, by her own admission. Hubby and I have come to enjoy her and her husban'd company socially, as they're quite fun, but she drives us all nuts. Her mouth doesn't stop talking, and it's not just normal talking. Everything that happens is a spiral downhill of some sort of tragedy. Her dog was constipated, so he has a tumor in his bowel; her husband had dark circles under his eyes, so he ate too much bacon (?!!). A lot of it (like t ...
Could You All Pray For My FriendFeb 21, 2012
in a very bad car wreck, evidently fell asleep on the way home from work. Car is totaled and her husband said "she's alive" but just barely. Thank you all in advance. Her name is Lisa ...
A Friend Posted This On FB And W/ What We SeeFeb 05, 2012
There is a factory in Essex which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Shelley is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. ... He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line ...
My Friend Just Went Into HospiceJan 11, 2012
Please pray for my friend and past transcriptionist. She started out with breast cancer 5 years ago and is now in hospice care. The cancer has metastasized to her lungs, liver, and bones. Her attitude is very upbeat, but she knows this will ultimately defeat her. Thank you to all who care. ...
My Friend Who Has CancerSep 15, 2011
Please pray for my friend Gina, who is in her early 50s and has inoperable lung cancer metastasized to the bone. She has decided against treatment so she can have a good quality of life in her remaining days. ...
Send This To A FriendDec 30, 2009
http://s300.photobucket.com/albums/nn35/qash2/?action=view¤t=31.jpg (it's the picture on the right) ...
Media Are NOT Your Friend!May 04, 2011
1991 Gulf War. CNN correspondent Charles Jaco is "reporting live from Saudia Arabia." Or IS HE?!! If you still believe media are telling you the truth -- about ANYTHING -- after watching this, then I truly feel sorry for you. ...
Do I Tell My Friend Her Kid Is A Thief??Feb 01, 2010
My boy was invited to his cousin's B-day party over the weekend. I invited my friend's son to join my boy so he wouldn't be the only boy at the party, since this was basically an all-girl party. (My boy is 9, the other is 7). We were only at my brother's place for a few minutes when "Billy" went right to my brother's wallet and started going thru it. I said, "Hey, get out of there, you don't go into people's wallets." H ...
A Note About DT From A Friend In NYSep 19, 2016
we have something called star..a reduction on property tax, (not a lot..but I'm not proud.)there is an income limit..$500,000...and then there is no eligibility! He was granted star twice in 2014( I think that may have been the year)..he said it was a clerical error...pure fantasy! He had to have applied for it, and then the city checks out the application, and then, in this case..he was granted the star credit! He had to show less than $500,000 income!! ...
BF Best Friend Is A WomanJun 18, 2010
Really I have never felt so insecure about anything like this before. I'm usually the laid back person. I was cheated on in my last relationship and I think that changed everything for me. Anyways, I have been seeing this guy and we are about to move in together on the 22nd actually. His best friend is a girl. In fact he has had this friend for so long, even through his ex-wife. His best friend never liked his ex. I really have never met this woman ...
My Friend Has Been In A Relationship With ManJun 24, 2010
My friend has been in a relationship with a man who is about ten years older than herself for about a year or so. They live together. He works for an employer who has offered to pay for him and the rest of the employees of the small, all male staff, to go on a cruise. She is a bit miffed at the thought of him cruising without her, so she has decided to go on a trip upstate for a week by herself. Neither one of them are the 'fooling around' types, she is just mad that he gets a cru ...
Losing My FriendMay 12, 2012
Last July I posted about my friend, Fran. She had been taken to the hospital with an infection, then underwent open heart surgery followed by a long list of compications. She had insulin dependent diabetes since she was five years of age. Fran never made it home from the hospital, and spent many months in a nursing home. Today I got the call that she died Friday morning. Although I am thankful her suffering is at an end, I am feeling so empty and t ...
Please Pray For My FriendMay 15, 2012
Please pray for my friend Cathy, she broke her femur a couple of days ago. She has dizzy spells but the doctors claim they don't know why. She has broken her hip, wrist and pelvis over a ten year time span. Now she is in the hospital and can't walk. She is about 62 years of age. Please pray for a speedy recovery and a miracle. thank you ...
Former Friend Being Ridiculous. So I Log OntoAug 23, 2012
a social network (lol since I cannot say the name). Supposed friend posts if you are voting for blah blah, get off my friend list now. So I did! So then he comes back and says that is not what he said. Ummm yes it is. Thousands saw it. Anyway, I just think he is being ridiculous to want to lose friends because of who they are voting for. First time he said anything to me via PM, he said blah candidate? Really? I said yes. I am not stupi ...
The Liberals Best Friend, (sm)May 04, 2013
said Obama would still be a community organizer if he had been busted for pot. LOL - I wish he had been. He was better qualified for that job. ...
Getting Nervous About Friend's SonJun 30, 2016
Have not heard from my friend about her son or whether her son survived the surgery. Got a bad feeling. She is so good to contact me. I was supposed to go to doctor today out of town and my car gave me fits. Well, now car repairs but not till next week. Hate that everything seems to happen on a holiday. I hope things finally settle down for me about finances and car repairs and health soon. I also hope I am wrong about my friend's son. I hope I hear soon. ...
My Friend's Son (update)Jul 15, 2016
My friend doesn't want me to go into detail, but her son is going to have a long rehab and she is not hopeful that he will be back to normal if at all. He has had four surgeries and can finally whisper (has a trach). They can't stay with him. Doctors and nurses think he will rest better if they are not there so much. His mother has lost ten pounds from not eating and not sleeping well. A woman T-boned him on his motorcycle and he flew across her car and landed on his back. Plea ...
Lost A FriendJan 14, 2014
I wonder if this has happened to anyone? I really need to vent about this, so if this long, sorry. Last year about June, my best friend moved across country. We used to be close like sisters. In fact, she often considered me her sister. I was her only female friend in this part of the country. She had been through so much with me. It was the kind of relationship that if we didn't speak for a couple of months or so, one of us would call and it was like we had spoken just yesterday. ...
I Miss My FriendJan 29, 2014
I have a best friend since grade school, on into adulthood, raised our children together, etc. About six months ago she adopted a new religion (I'm not sure if she is now Jewish, if that is the correct term?) but she has completely distanced herself from me and everyone we knew, including some of her family and is only involved in her new religious friends. It is so strange that she has made a 100% transformation, she is learning Hebrew, wearing head scarves and only dresses, I ...
Prayers For A Friend's SonJun 29, 2016
Please pray for my friend's son. He had a motorcycle accident and was knocked unconscious. He is in surgery right now to have something fixed in his spinal column I think. I hope he won't be paralyzed or anything like that. Thanks all. ...
Prayers For My Friend DMar 05, 2015
I spent all last night with my friend consoling her over her many stressors. She lost her job of many years due to cutbacks at the hospital. She very recently lost her mother. Her children are grown, but still have not grown up, getting into various subtance abuses and losing their livelihood. She takes all these on herself, and her husband is not very supportive. Please pray that she gets a job very, very soon and makes her feel productive again, and help suppo ...
Prayers For FriendMar 12, 2015
Not a good time for my friend. Her sister-in-law had a hysterectomy and developed MRSA. She is a TERRIFIC amount of pain and it seems the doctor who performed the surgery and the hospital don't really care. I told them to try the patient advocate. Now, more stress. Last night, my friend's family in St. Louis were struck with the most horrible thing. They were at a park and got into a disagreement with another family. They loaded up in their va ...
My Friend's GranddaughterJul 14, 2015
and this was posted on their website: Dear Parents that have children that will be entering third grade, PLEASE do not stress out over the supply list. If you would like to bring in things throughout the year instead of at the beginning that would be fine! We understand it can get over-whelming! To paraphrase "W" " Is our children learning from these folks?" ...
A Friend Asked Me The Other Day....Oct 07, 2016
She said I have a strange question to ask you, and now don't laugh. But, a lot of my friends and neighbors are stockpiling food and water. Are you doing that? Should I be doing that? After reading the below documents, news reports, and my peers' comments on this page, my answer is ABSOLUTELY! The question is now, when will we need it, what will be the circumstances. It is so odd. I have been writing a novel for about 5 years now (yeah, need to ...
Good Friend Going Through An UnexpectedFeb 18, 2012
Two of my BFFs from high school came to visit me yest afternoon. We hadn't seen each other in person for 20-some years, but it was like we'd never been apart. That makes my heart very happy. The reason we visited Did Not. Matt's wife kicked him out when he got home from being on this coast (I'm East, he's West) after he was here w/ his mom who was having recurrent strokes. After she booted him, he went to his tax guy out there, trynig to tie ...
A Dear Friend Has DiedDec 25, 2009
I've been going to Alcoholic's Anonymous and have been sober for amost 9 years. During that time, we've been fortunate enough not to lose any of our members to death. Last week, a good friend, Earl S., died. He was in his early 80's and he and his wife were raising the 2 male grandchiildren that their mother did not want due to her drug habit. His wife is holding up for now but the business will stop and the loneliness will set in. Please keep Earl and Fra ...