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Good friend going through an unexpected

Posted: Feb 18, 2012

Two of my BFFs from high school came to visit me yest afternoon. We hadn't seen each other in person for 20-some years, but it was like we'd never been apart. That makes my heart very happy. The reason we visited Did Not. Matt's wife kicked him out when he got home from being on this coast (I'm East, he's West) after he was here w/ his mom who was having recurrent strokes. After she booted him, he went to his tax guy out there, trynig to tie up loose ends before he left the state, and it turns our his witch didn't make their payments on even half of what she said she was paying. He works OOT 14 days on/14 off. She didn't even pay his quarterly taxes on his business, so he's facing almost 100K in fed taxes alone. She drained him for well over 200K this past yr alone. I got him to check for credit cards in his name, found 3 he had no clue about. She refused to tell their boys she was kicking him out and was trying to make their 17 y/o do it.

Sorry this is so lengthy, but this guy has been one of my BFFs for 30-some years and my heart is really heavy for him. They'd been married 18 yrs, and like most of us, had ups and downs. Anyhoo...My main question is if there are other places we need to look for financial stuff he doesn't know about. He's hired an investigator since it was such a large amount, but I'm just trying to look out for him as he's a bit shellshocked right now. TY, TY, TY, if anyone has suggestions.

;

All I can say is at least he is only 1/2 responsible - she gets the other 1/2

[ In Reply To ..]
Assets and debts are split 50/50! She will get half the debt. So that 100,000 in back taxes, she also faces penalties and will have to pay back half of that.

At least he has something to celebrate, huh?

He should make sure - sm - travelinmt

[ In Reply To ..]
He gets his credit report from all "3" reporting agencies; sometimes they can differ vastly. That will pretty much let him know everything that is out there attached to his name. He also needs to check for bills, loans, credit cards in her name only. If he is in a 50/50 state he will be responsible for all of those too. He also needs to file for legal separation so any other last finale spending sprees the decides to go on do not go against him for payment.

That's what I would do, all of which can be done without much cost to him. Sounds like it is gonna be messy and cost a bundle, so anything he can do on his own will at least cut down on paying an investigator or attorney a gazillion dollars an hour to do for him.

Have you run a credit report on him? - Happy MT Robin

[ In Reply To ..]
You said you checked for credit cards in his name - was that a credit report through Experion or Equifax? That is what came to mind first as to where to start.

I know nothing about stuff like this, but can he go to the DA and file charges? Even if they are married, what she essentially did was fraud - especially with the business funds. Again, I'm just fishing, but it's another option I'd look into.

I'm very sorry your friend is going through this. Karma is a biotch and WILL bite his wife in the arse at some point.

Happy MT - you beat me to it! :) -nm - travelinmt

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

Thanks for the replies - OP

[ In Reply To ..]
Yes, I had him check all credit reports, and they were all the same, 3 cards he never knew they had, but nothing else so far showing in bad credit, but the powers that be are ready to repo his truck and her Hummer. Just talked w/ another friend and she said he was wrong to leave. WTH do you do when you're told to go? He promised his boys he'd go to a band concert and a b-ball game to watch the, which he did before leaving town. She, on the other hand, was drunk and didn't go to either. I know this woman, so I'm not just passing judgment. Thanks so much for all of the suggestions.

Sorry about your friend - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
Get a good lawyer. I don't believe that he can be forced to leave he home, except a restraining order. Sometimes if you leave the home you forfeit claim to it. Run a credit report definitely! An attorney can advise you on how to look for hidden assets. A PI isn't a bad idea either. Shame on her for being so cruel, but he should be glad he is rid of her!

Thank you, anon - OP

[ In Reply To ..]
I didn't think about the house/forfeit thing. I think that would probably be okay w/ him as he wants to move back to this area, but I want her to get stuck w/ the $ owed since, by his plan and his paychecks that she sucked down, it should have been paid off this month. We talked last night, and he seemed in somewhat better spirits, but he had his 1st mtg w/ the PI today and I haven't heard yet. Sucky part is, she makes diddly as far as pay, and they live in an alimony state.

Finances are one thing, but we are both worried about their 3 boys. She's coming home drunk. One (age 13) already said he wants to live w/ his dad and the oldest will be 18 in 2 mos, so he's left w/ a 7 y/o living with her.

Tell him to document, document, document - and get custody of the 7 yo

[ In Reply To ..]
You have probably already talked about this, but if he has good evidence that she is coming home drunk and the like, he may have a very good case for filing for 100% custody and winning. The courts don't automatically side with the mother as much as they used to and it sounds like he has a pretty good case against her.

I really hope everything turns out better for him.

Sincere TY from OP - justme

[ In Reply To ..]
Wanted to take the time to say thank you to y'all. I made a list of all the suggestions, so I'm ready to go to war. I just needed somewhere to unload and have ppl talk to me rationally as my hubs doesn't really like most of my friends.

Thank you, and may you all have an awesome week!

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