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Interesting debate

Posted: Dec 4, 2015

So my friend and I (we are in our late 30s) have been having this debate regarding dating.

I believe a woman SHOULDNT change. She will find the right guy just being who she is.

My friend believes a woman SHOULD change. She should follow the latest trends regarding makeup, hair and clothes, to get the right guy.

Just wondering what ya'll thought.

;

Change? - not

[ In Reply To ..]
If you change your ways simply to attract somebody, the change won't stick, & eventually, you'll go back to what/who you were at first. Trends change & some folks go along with that... I guess that's no big deal, but I wouldn't do it just to get somebody's attention. I wear what I want & whatever is appropriate for the situation.

Never changed and on my 4th one already - Lucky me

[ In Reply To ..]
They say third time is charms but don't think so. This 4th marriage is for keeps, 15 years and counting, never changed and just kept going until I found Mr. Right.

Be genuine. - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Some people love fashion. They follow the trends and like to try them out. If that's you, be you.

But if that's not you, you can still be fashionable without being trendy. In fact, there are some classic lines (not only in clothes, but in hairstyles, too) that seem to endure for decades. If you're not a "clothes horse", focus instead on quality of material and construction, designs that are flattering to your individual shape and colors that are appropriate to your skin tone, eyes, hair, etc.

What about changing on the inside? - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
Becoming more aware of how my behavior affects the relationship has changed my whole family dynamic, husband and kids.

The best advice I ever had was to just be - yourself and do the things you

[ In Reply To ..]
normally do, and if the right guy is out there, you'll find each other. She was right. She also told me that trying to be someone you're not isn't sustainable, and will backfire eventually. And of course, she said the worst possible place to look for guys is in bars.

Everyone changes. - The Avon Lady

[ In Reply To ..]
Everyone changes, whether you notice it or not. Some for the good, some for the bad. Maybe you need to change and don't realize it, or maybe you are perfect and really don't need it. Point being, never say never. Change doesn't necessarily mean doing or acting differently just to please somebody else. It could mean learning to be comfortable in your own skin or accepting somebody else being comfortable in their skin.

My thought is it depends on what one means by the right guy-sm - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
I think that relationships are work (all relationships, romantic and otherwise). I think that chemistry can play a roll in relationships but once the chemical reaction has played itself out, what is left at the end is work. Chemical reactions will change the participants in the relationship, too. I do not give much stock to the notion of the "right" guy but I think finding a person is the simple part, making it work day in and day out is the more difficult part. I will concede that this view likely has a lot to do with my personality and other's experience will likely vary.

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