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If you found out the man you love has a heavy MJ habit, would you.... (sm)

Posted: Nov 18, 2009

Would you immediately break up, even though you love him? Tell him he needs to stop completely or you will break up? Ask him to cut back and not have it around you? Try to talk to him and see if he wants to stop and needs help? He says he needs it for anxiety but he is already on medication to help with that.

;

Mixed feelings on this... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Truly there are many people that need this and it provides great relief. There are also many people who abuse the "medicinal purposes" factor. Chances are that if he is on anxiety medication, this might really help. It does have an extreme calming effect.

HTH.

I think you already know the answer - gourdpainter

[ In Reply To ..]
He obviously has an addiction and is emotionally unstable. The choice is your's of course but trust me, a person with these problems will bring you nothing but grief and "love" will fly out the window right along with respect.

More of them out there than you think - repeat offender

[ In Reply To ..]
Now that you mention it, I've never had a relationship where guy didn't smoke MJ (I don't). Its not like I seek them out, its just the way the cookie crumbles. I just set rules where they can't smoke it (like my bedroom, my car, my office) and let it be. We all have our vices - and need them or we'd go nuts.

I'd rather have someone doing MJ than boozing it up sm - Old Hippie Chick

[ In Reply To ..]
or with a gambling or p0rn addiction. If he is an otherwise good person and works, etc, why make a big deal out of it?

I agree. - n/m

[ In Reply To ..]
n/m

and he does work, which is why I am pondering the question (sm) - All Grown Up

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Because he has had the same job for 15 years and is a good guy. I think alcohol is actually worse even though it is legal. That's why I keep going back and forth with whether I want it to be an issue or not.

but you have not said why it is an issue for you .... - why is it? n/m

[ In Reply To ..]
n/m

Personally, I'd drop him like... - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
a bad habit.

I have been married to a heavy MJ user for - Anon

[ In Reply To ..]
17+ years. He is a wonderful husband and father. He also is a hard worker and is always bettering his education. He simply believes that natural means for depression/anxiety are better for him than chemical pharmaceuticals.

The only downside is when he cannot find MJ, but that's pretty rare. He gets really grouchy and hard to be around for a little bit.

mj - matt the rehab counselor

[ In Reply To ..]
Well uh... marijuana is chock full of CHEMICALS! AND is itself a depressant! AND, if he's getting "really grouchy and hard to be around" (even for a little while), it's because it's an ADDICTION and he's having withdrawal. Yes, withdrawal. I'm ready for the firestorm.

35 years I've seen people like this. It's all a matter of what YOU as his partner are willing to accept for yourself. You've accepted it and good for you, but I GUARANTEE YOU THIS, tell him to quit, and he'll pick the weed or hide it from you and lie to you about using, but at 17+ years, I'd bet he'd take the weed.

It ain't cheap either. Wouldn't that money be better used on the family than his own habit?

I agree, there ARE worse things out there, but just because it's "natural", doesn't make it any less addictive or safer or any less full of chemicals, natural or not. I mean, who knows where it comes from. Then that opens another can of worms!

Buying illegal substances only perpetuates the illegal importation into our country and there are people DYING in drug wars. Little helpless kids are being used as mules to bring that crap over borders and killed! You think this is okay? You think it's a good message to send to your kids? Do as we say not as we do?

It's not just a simple harmless habit. It's toxic and illegal.

I apologize for getting on this soap box. It is afterall, your choice.

many more things more toxic, and legal. Drug wars, over cocaine, which - I would never touch.

[ In Reply To ..]
..

It's really not expensive here. - Anon

[ In Reply To ..]
No more than the cost of an RX copay for the week.

You're right, it is my choice and it's one I don't have a problem with. I've taken Paxil and it took me 3 months to wean off of that crap. I will never take another SSRI again. So, I can see his point. I don't smoke it, but I used to a long time ago.

I guess the older I get, the more tolerant I become. He works. We have been married for a long time (American standards). He loves me and he loves our kids. He spends time with us. I could go on and on, but the point is that it is good enough for ME.

FWIW, MJ is legal in California and is becoming legalized in many states. I think it should. Tax it and let adults make decisions for themselves. I don't need a nanny state telling me what is best for us.

cali - jj

[ In Reply To ..]
Why would you not have a problem with it? It's gonna be a long, long time to legalize it, too many people, legit and not are making money on it being illegal. AND because it is illegal like someone already said, there are people getting killed for it.

Look at what is happening in El Paso Texas right now and what happened in Laredo about 10 years ago! THOUSANDS of people are being killed as the drug cartel fights for control. THOUSANDS.
Just a couple of days ago a 7 year old boy was murdered, shot dead as he tried to run away from a gun fight taking place right in the middle of their business district.

It's a shame people don't look beyond what they want or think that what little they are buying is doing no harm. It's doing a lot of harm. As long as you keep handing your money over to that drug dealer, someone is being hurt.

Yeah, no nanny needs to tell you what is right.

cali - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I read about Juarez! It is horrible. It is an all out war zone there and that cartel is supposedly stronger in force than the Mexican government. The cartel is even killing officials and stuff to keep doing their business. I guess if you never look at the whole picture you would think it was okay. I've changed my mind. I'm with you. IT's not okay.

re:anon - doobie

[ In Reply To ..]
It is not "legal" for recreational use. It is "legalized" for medical use.

Legalizing isn't really a well-thought out option though, consider that the legalization of the drug can also have an effect on use if the taxes that are levied on it are too large. (very likely...) Large-sweeping taxes of marijuana to offset the consciences of those legalizing it might make the drug too expensive for current users, which could serve to keep the sale of the drug underground thus perpetuating the current issues, dangerous dealers and drug wars...

Most weed is being grown domestically. sm - Old Hippie Chick

[ In Reply To ..]
Have you seen the movie "American Drug War"? I suggest you do. You might broaden your perspective a bit.

Just because it is illegal now does not mean it is immoral. It's immoral to lock up hundreds of thousands of American citizens for use of a relatively harmless plant substance. I should have the right to choose, not you.

The drug wars are not based on pot but on meth, coke and the like.

old chick - pat

[ In Reply To ..]
you are oh so very wrong. It is mostly imported. The domestic grown weed is only about 12% of what is sold!

I agree with what you said tho, the drug wars are based on meth, coke and "the like", and that like is MARIJUANA!

But, it is your right.

Its a major cash crop in the Northern California - coastal mountains. If it were legal

[ In Reply To ..]
to grow it in the backyard, like pumpkins and tomatoes, it would have about the same value as pumpkins and tomatoes. There would no longer be a need for smugglers or dealers, at least not for weed. It only has value to the dealers because it's illegal. Make it legal, and it's nearly worthless on the open market.

domestic - JJ

[ In Reply To ..]
That domestically grown weed is nonetheless guarded and planted by people who are going to kill you if you accidentally come across it.

While hiking in a national park in the US (California) several years ago a group of us came upon a field of weed! It was not a good experience. I was terrified. We were out in the middle of no where. If the people who planted it found us they could have shot us and left us to rot!

We high tailed it out of there and called the authorities. We were later told they busted a couple of the guards there, with HIGH POWERED AUTOMATIC WEAPONS!

Domestic/imported, it still attracts violence because it's illegal.

hippie - Clarice

[ In Reply To ..]
OMG! For real! Our old neighbor grew in his back yard and when we finally couldn't stand the smell and said something he got all violent and threatening! We were scared to call the cops for a long time. AND, after we did and he was locked up anyway for weapons and the weed,crack and other stuff they found, we got threats from his buddies and our house got vandalized!

We could never prove anything, but our Yorkie disappeared in the middle of the conflict. yeah, we moved. In Cali also, in a super nice neighborhood.

the most medicinal plant in the world, read about it at .... - go to phoenixtears.ca/ n/m

[ In Reply To ..]
n/m

It is an illegal drug - A Yearbie

[ In Reply To ..]
Love is the only hard factor in this, but it is not a show stopper. Factors: Do you have children? If so, get rid of the habit or him. I doubt anyone wants to lose their kids over MJ. Are you close by when he does it? There would be no proving that you aren't smoking it yourself if someone tested you. (I am not accusing you of doing it) Lastly, and I am using this as my opinion although I am sure that it is true in some cases, MJ is a gateway drug. Any drug leads to more and more of either that drug or to stepping it up and before you know it your married to a 70-year-old meth head. LOL Sorry, maybe I'm just reaching too far ahead of myself, but those are my thoughts. Good luck to you in your decision.

Gateway is propaganda started by Art Linkletter - Bunch of hogwash

[ In Reply To ..]
I tried many drugs in my youth and never became addicted to any, I was simply a recreational user that grew out of it. And no, experimentation didn't lead me to heroin, crack or meth. OR rehab. I don't use ANY drugs now, and haven't for years. All the people I know that habitually use MJ have not gone on to become 70-year-old meth heads - they're simply potheads. MJ is no more a gateway drug than going to the school prom leads to STDs by the time you're 30!

My husband does - tab

[ In Reply To ..]
It is a very expensive habbit. Every day there he is lighting up on the chair watching tv. It makes him very lazy, well he seems to be a really lazy person anyway. So I suppose he is SUPER LAZY!!!! It is really getting to me. I tried to smoke it with him, but really it is lost on me so I don't bother. Not to mention it still is very illegal. According to him POT cures everything and that is why he smokes it.... tooth pain, knee pain, upset stomach. I might leave him, but that is more about the laziness than the smoking. If he was making a decent amount of money I wouldnt be so angry. He is barely making any money, sits on the couch all day, barely helps with the 3 kids, and I DO EVERYING literally EVERYTHING!!!! So I am practically doing it by myself anyway. My adivce is that he will ALWAYS smoke pot. If he dose it know he will do it 10 years from now.

The magic word here is "needs". If he simply liked - it and used occasionally, no problem. (sm)

[ In Reply To ..]
But if he "needs" it in order to function, that's an addiction. And one kind of addiction often leads to another.

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