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Heavy topic
Posted: Nov 24, 2009
Serious question: Does anyone ever wonder why you exist. I mean what is the purpose of life. I have no kids, don't live near family. I get up, walk to the computer, turn it on and work, and work, and work, and work. Oh yeah, pay bills, go grocery shopping, and cook. Have a DH but he doesn't work (lack of jobs in the economy). My family is across country, his family is in another state. Have no friends. Sometimes I feel like I just exist. Now when dad calls me nothing to say except I woke up and worked. I'm just feeling like I'm exhisting with no purpose. At 50+ I'm expecting that I'll be sitting in my chair doing this til I retire at 70 or 75 (or even 80 depending on what the future brings). The thought of sitting here for the next 25+ years is so depressing. Seems like the only thing to hope for anymore is December 2012 and hope it comes true so I can move onto my next life. Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't want to comit hari cari, but just wonder if other people wonder if this is all there is to life. I guess I'm just venting and wonder if other people feel the same way and how you get through it. Please don't come back with the usual "God has a plan for all of us, blah blah". I've got very solid spiritual beliefs and they don't fall in the same line as a lot of religious beliefs (done the religious/church route for over 20 years, I now have another path spiritual wise). Just have to deal with how to live in this prison world.
;
I know how you feel - anna
[ In Reply To ..]I really understand. I seem to have certain times when I feel the depression and lack of purpose a lot more, then I gradually pull out of it. It seems like a cycle.
Without waxing too spiritual, one thing that helps me is trying to focus on being thankful for the good things in my life, and actually being thankful for my job instead of resenting the prison it creates. I don't feel so depressed sitting here when I am appreciating the opportunity to work at home and the benefits of that.
Sometimes I just have to go for a drive. I felt that way this weekend. I didn't go far - but just getting out for a change of scenery helped a lot. I live one block from Walmart so I try to get out of the house every day a little, which also helps.
Try and enjoy the little things. I get a kick out of the squirrels in my back yard. I make sure the drapes in the office are open so I can see them as I type.
I hope knowing that there are others experiencing the same thing is helpful to you.
Dear heavy topic - answer
[ In Reply To ..]Its good to hear you have strong spiritual beliefs. I just have to wonder how content you can be with those beliefs if you are concerned about the purpose of life. Religions want you to believe that our only purpose is to live a good life and then go to heaven. But that doesn't answer why we're here in the first place. Yes, it is important that we live a good life, be kind to others, appreciate the little things, etc, etc...but then what? Without being preachy, I find reading the Bible has answered a lot of my questions and may help you too. God created the earth to be filled with perfect humans and to live forever on it. His purpose hasn't changed. Psalm 37:11, 29 says his purpose is still for us to live forever in a paradise setting.
But as I have learned in life that is not the answer - anon
[ In Reply To ..]What works for you is not for everyone. Believe me, I have been to many many church's of different faiths. From birth til 8th grade belonged to an episcopal church and Sunday school (grandma played the church organ and was a Sunday school teacher). Then went through 4 years of methodist church services and sunday school. Then studied catholic studies under a priest and attended catholic service for 2 years. Then joined the military and when to many different services with different people I knew. I was even ordered to attend my company commanders mormon church for a year. Been to a jewish service, and many charismatic services. What works for some people does not work for others. I do believe in a creator. I don't believe in everything in the Bible, and I lived next door to my aunt and uncle who live every single day with (god told me to make a right turn down this street, and god told me to pick the wheat bread and not the white bread, etc. I find that kind of life to just give me the heebie-jeebies. I am a very spiritual person as I believe there is a creator. But at the same time I'd like to know what my purpose on this earth is for. And I want to know what that truth is, not someones fantasy of what they believe to be the truth (talking about my aunt and uncle here). I cannot believe I am here living in a prison, so that I will live forever in a paradise setting, because that is not the way I believe. I've seen people like my aunt and uncle and sister and many others walking around with those kind of beliefs. If it works for them that's fine, but watching them is like watching living zombies. Please don't take offense to that, because I'm not directing this toward you and I don't know what your life is like, that is what I see in my relatives. They walk around like...well I don't know how to explain it. They don't know what's happening in the news most of the time because as my aunt told me once, there is so much bad going on in the world god told her not to watch the news anymore. They live in a small town (about 10,000 population), they go to church 3 times during the week, and sundays, and on Saturdays drive a van around trying to convert groups of people. Little kids are their favorite ones because they put out the trays of cookies for them and the kids willingly want to convert their lives to Jesus. (yes, that is exactly what she told me). They live in this world that doesn't even connect with what's happening in the real world. Oh and she also doesn't wear the color black because god told her it's evil and she wears these big huge pins that spell out Jesus in rhinestones. Sorry, I'm not into that and living near them for 5 years before moving away I felt like I was in a bad movie. But it works for them and they are happy like that (same with sister in her mormon life), but it doesn't work for me. I feel like I'm in a prison. There is a lot going on in the world, changes and such. I can't believe someone planted me here, where the rest of my life is going to be used to sit here and type medical reports, then when I do retire to go sit on the couch and watch TV until the day I keel over. I cannot believe that any god would be that cruel to a human being and then pluck them out to live in a paradise setting. That's like feeding the prisoner on death row their last meal. I also do not believe how a lot of others believe about this so called "paradise setting". If that works for some that's all and good. I'm not putting them down and I'm happy for them, but everyone has different beliefs. So what works for some does not work for others. I'm glad for you and your beliefs are that strong. I'm just not that way. I tried to be like that (for 5 years), but it didn't feel right, and what they taught in their church I just didn't buy into. And what even got to me more was when they flashed up on the walls different Bible versus but tweaked just a little bit. I once said to my husband that that's not the bible verse. The next Sunday, they guided us to the back of the church. DH and I laughed and said that back of the church was purgatory and we were there because of what I said. We laughed, and never went back to their service again. It was just to painful to see so many people walking around like they were. When we'd go to their service walking into the building the hair on my neck literally stood up. The further we got away from it the more spiritual I felt. So that just doesn't work for me. I am happy for you. I'm still searching.
Just to clarify, are you saying you believe in a - anna
[ In Reply To ..]Creator, but not an afterlife?
There is a book you may have heard of called The Purpose Driven Life (you have probably heard of it) which addresses the question of our purpose. Maybe it would help you, especially if you believe in a creator.
I believe in a creator AND afterlife..... - anon
[ In Reply To ..]Just not the one described by the religious people.
I'm going to look up the book you mentioned. But yes I do believe in the afterlife.
purpose of life? - Amanda
[ In Reply To ..]I know exactly how you feel and struggle with the same thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. Email me if you feel like having someone else to talk to...
Thank you Amanda - I might take you up on the offer - anon
[ In Reply To ..]But it will have to be later. I'm swamped with work right now (definitely something to be thankful for - as the economy seems doomed) :-), so will have to be later.
purpose of life? - spitfire
[ In Reply To ..]Am glad to find others who are like me!!
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one and I know that isn't true.
I'm definitely spiritual but NOT religious. Been there, done that. One book that has helped me, especially since my husband died, is "The Shack". It really gave me a different view on a lot of my beliefs. It has definitely given me a lot to think about. E.mail me also if you need to :)
To Hmmmm and Anna - Fingers
[ In Reply To ..]Have you ever heard the saying, "Life is what YOU make it." IMO, we are put on this earth to take care of it and to love others. I always tell my children to make sure you make someone else smile every day. It makes you a happier person.
That being said, I think you guys need to do some self-help therapy and some soul searching. What is it that you are interested in? There are so many things you could do to fulfill your life. Join an exercise facility or start your own program. Volunteering in a nursing home, hospital, homeless shelter, or a school can be very rewarding and a great way to make friends. Try not to shut yourself away so much. To have a friend, be a friend. Invite an acquaintence to lunch/dinner.
Try something exciting that you have never done before. How about gardening? My DH does the vegetables and I do the flowers. I love it and I have learned alot. How about taking a gourmet cooking class or a dance class. There are so many ways you can keep yourself busy and opportunities to have a more fulfilling social life. You are just bored and you haven't been thinking in the right direction. You guys are going to have to get out of your house and have more meaning to your life than just working. The possibilities are endless. Again, try a new hobby that interests you that you have not done before. Go some place for a weekend where you have never been before.
I think it is great if you guys are e mailing each other. That's a start. Reach out and make suggestions to each other. Even if you do not live close to each other, you can start a hobby together and share information and details. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - please do not waste it. Life is very short and precious.
BTW, giving you this advice has made me take a good long look at myself. There are improvements to be made and I am getting started today. Good luck to you guys.
One more thought - Fingers
[ In Reply To ..]Have you ever thought about being a big sister through Big Brothers and Sisters of America. You could establish a relationship with a young girl who needs someone. Take her to lunch, the park, a movie, etc. YOU would be her best friend.
Sounds as if you have a "spiritual emptiness" - than can only be filled by God.
[ In Reply To ..]Everyone on this earth has a purpose in this life. We were predestined before the foundation of the world. If you have no purpose, you should ask God to reveal to you your purpose. The emptiness is because you don't know your purpose. When you find purpose, your life will be more fulfilling. I would suggest get out and intermingle with other people, whether it be in your community, church, etc.
Heavy topic - ORMT
[ In Reply To ..]Hey. I was in the same boat. Kids grown and doing their own thing, no social life, and feeling much the same as you are right now. What I did was get into backpacking at the ripe old age of 55 years. I love the outdoors and never really had time to enjoy it for so many years raising a family. It absolutely freed me from my "cell" (get up, walk over to the computer and work all day, eat dinner, go to bed, get up and start the same over again day after day). Getting out into the wilderness for days at a time really puts things into perspective for me, my Prozac. There is just something about being out in the wilderness alone (me and my dog actually) without TV, phones, computer, etc., so exhilarating and life-affirming for me. I feel better than I have felt in years both physically and mentally. I am fortunate to live in an area where good backpacking trails are only a couple of hours away by car and so every other weekend I can get away, and during the summer I usually do a weeklong trek or two.
If backpacking or hiking is not your thing, what about gardening or volunteer work in your community?
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