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I am wondering if anyone here has gone through what I am going through

Posted: Aug 26, 2015

I am being alienated from my son by his horrible father. Divorced him 10 years ago and he has been pulling stunts since. I am just devastated of course. It has been almost a full year. If anyone here has gone through that, how do you cope with each day? I have PTSD anyway, but if I did not have it before, I sure would now. And before anyone gives advice on what to do, believe me they have all been done to death.

;

Boy I have the same issue - anonie

[ In Reply To ..]
My ex on the day of our divorce when everyone else had gone and I was getting myself ready to leave as well. He came up to me and said, "I'll have (my son's name) too. Boy the man always kept his threats but never his promises. So he did everything to see to it we could not communicate and was being so ridiculous about everything. Unfortunately for me, I had two really stupid lawyers who gave in on his every single whim. They did nothing for my rights as his mother.

Of course, all of this happened after he brainwashed him from age 9 to age 13. I have been devastated since. His stepmother had no problem taking him over as her child. She has not got a good relationship with her own and lost one by drowning. I think she was trying to replace her son with mine. Anyway, there are horrible things that they have both done to me and my son is a grown adult now 42 years old and still will not work on our relationship. His father wouldn't work on our marriage so you see, he turned out just like him but had a lot of help since every mean things his father did seemed to get results and his Christian mother ended up losing her faith over losing her son.

I don't think your heart ever gets over that. There is always an ache in your heart that cannot be filled with anything.

I can't stand to watch Christmas programs and that time of year till the first of the year, I would rather sleep through all of it. I have very little family now and it hurts to not have him in my life. What is more I can't depend on him to help me when I need it.

Honestly, I tried to raise him right, but with an influence that strong and where you can buy his love, I had no chance at all.

He has road rage and I won't ride in the car with him anymore.

Thing of it is you can't turn off the love you have for your child, my only one. It will be there till the day you die.

Exactly!! My horrible lawyers were obviously on his side and my son is - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
MR so he cannot verbalize being terrified of his father. he told me things and I filed child abuse charges, but they were not validated. Wow!! What are those people smoking? My heart is just aching for both of us :(

You really are between a rock - and a hard place

[ In Reply To ..]
I have found immense comfort and support through this site:

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/parents-of-estranged-adult-children/discussions

It's an anonymous online forum of parents who have all been through the same thing.

Thank you!! - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
f

possible options - SM

[ In Reply To ..]
My daughter has been going through the same thing, but I guess it depends on what you mean by "horrible father." In her case, her ex was always demanding and manipulative, but after the divorce it became more and more outrageous and he was doing everything in his power to punish her by turning the kids against her. She documented everything and saved all his outlandish emails and was able to get a court-ordered psych evaluation on him. He was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and his visitations are now supervised. The kids are also going through counseling to (hopefully) reverse the damage done by their dad's brainwashing. Google "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" or even just "Personality Disorder" and see if anything fits your situation. Good look to you!

Thank you too!! This guy is mentally unstable in that he - m

[ In Reply To ..]
continues to pull stunts and has tried to alienate both kids from me since the divorce. He has drug and alcohol issues and I know that is a lot of it, but he just continues this garbage.

I meant to add that I have documented all the BS too and - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
this is a true southern man-dominated state in that they are on his side :( Very long story, but there is no way they should be.

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