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Doctors trying to talk down to me, really?

Posted: Mar 19, 2013

I am wondering if others run into what I have or is this just me who seems to have a bull's eye on them and others think they can say what they want and I will not respond. Anyway, this morning I went back to the ophthalmologist, had cataract surgery about 3 weeks ago. I noticed the first visit the day after surgery he seemed a little put off like he might have been a little huffy but nothing else happened that time. This morning we were talking and I was telling him about not being able to see the computer screen with the operated eye, could with the other, eye was very dry last night, would there be some time before perhaps better sight in the operated eye. I then started to ask question by saying I have a good friend who has excellent eyesight and she was asking me what she saw in my eye and is there something that shows there, I thought perhaps a stitch or something and this doctor decided to go off on me saying I was trying to put him down. He sure did pull the wrong chain this morning because I was not going to sit there and hear anymore. I asked him first of all did he want me to leave right then and then went on to tell him had never had 20/20 vision, even as a young child/teenager, never and did not expect a miracle from him. I was not trying to put him down by saying my friend has excellent vision- just stating a fact and had no idea why he thought he could talk like he was trying to do, just was not going to happen this morning. He had told me he would "try" to get 20/30 and I was pleased with that. I told him I was glad to be able to sit across the room and see the TV. My comment about my friend's vision had nothing to do with him. Before leaving out he commented he had not had his morning coffee and apologized to me for how he behaved but really?? This is not the first time I have ran into this. One time I went to a gastroenterologist and he was talking about my going to gym for exercise. I told him I did not care to exercise about size 0s or 2s and he was taken aback and so was I when he told me to "grow up." Yep, he said that twice. I told him other women felt the same way, I was not alone in this but that time I did not respond and tried really just to sorta smooth out and left never to return there but I am just past tired of doctors in particular trying to talk down to me. Just not happening anymore. Why in the world do doctors feel the have the right or can say whatever they want and no one should respond except to be meek and mild? Do others run into any similar situations like this? Still ticked off here. ;

rude MD, etc. - anon

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I actually had a PA insult me once. I had asked her to switch me off an antidepressant because of a 30-lb weight gain. She actually asked me if I would rather be "crazy" or thin. Last time I ever went to her.

Forgot, just about a month ago - Tired, again

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Saw the PA of my endocrinologist and talking weight loss. She emphatically stated no way could a person lose weight without exercise, just could not do. Ok, could not join the swim team because of the cataract surgery, no exercise since I saw her, cut out the milk I had been drinking with cereal, etc. and yesterday at same doctor's office was down 9 pounds and that was WITHOUT exercise. But I was told emphatically could not happen.....

sounds like a chip on the - shoulder

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yours

So what do you do, let them talk anyway - Tired

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they want just because of the profession they choose? He was the one apologizing. I doubt very seriously he would do that had he not thought he was in the wrong. Tired of trying to just trying to grin and bear it and let things slide. You along with others can choose the way you handle insults, I am refusing to do so anymore.

here is what I would do - go to healthgrades

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And leave him a poor review. I think u can even leave comments

I do not agree - see msg

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I would not advise her to do that, since we don't REALLY know what's going on. The OP may just be a royal pain in the butt.

Never thought of complaining to anyone - Tired

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He has been a good physician and I did not expect 100% eyesight, I have other things going on before having the surgery. it never crossed my mind to complain about him to anyone. He did his job. I did not expect perfection but he said he considered his own self a perfectionist.

Wait? Is it your eyesight (cataract surgery) or your facelift - that we are talking about?

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At first I thought it was your eye doc. Then I thought it was your facelift. Then I thought it was your eye doc. Then I thought it was your facelift guy you were afraid to write about. I'm just confused. Just trying to understand which one we are talking about.

Either way, I wish you well with both of them. Both things just sounds like they stink, so wish you all the best. Just wanted to understand which one we are talking about.

Sorry, guess the tired label fits well and the - person asking about the facelift

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saying I should write a review and then I went off with another thought. That happens when you get my age! Anyway, the cataract doctor never thought about writing a review. The plastic surgeon was the one I should have written review about but he has my name, could easily find my address and like I said do not wish to wake up with a horse's head in my bed with me. The plastic surgeon was very threatening, the ophthalmologist not so much, well not yet but now days who knows? I would be willing to say, and people here seem to think otherwise, but the plastic surgeon who forgot 1 procedure tried to speak to another surgeon at another time when I was in preop. I saw him motion to the guy who was doing this surgery on me and said something to him. I asked the present surgeon about it and he said just ignore the situation. I know, others think this does not, should not happen, will not happen and it did to me.

How nice (not) of you... why is your first ... - none

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response negative to the OP. Sounds like you may be the pain.

rude doctors - Janet

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I actually had a doctor tell me one time, right to my face, that I was fat, and fat is the exact word he used.

I have heard doctors say that many times. - sm

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And most of the time they are stating the obvious. Doctors tend to have a problem with people who come in and complain about this or that, but then eat a bag of donuts on the way home and refuse to listen to reason. I remember one time I read in a medical record of mine that I was an "obese white female". I mean, I knew I was overweight, but geeeezzz I was obese? I've lost weight now, so no issue there, but sometimes we just get offended when someone points out the obvious.

Obese White Female - See Msg

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Doing MT work, you know that obese is a medical term, actually. It means you are x-percent over what you should weight. Morbidly obese is also a common medical term.

You said this was in your chart---which is how they talk in the chart, medical terms. So, I am obese and I would imagine that's how it is stated in my chart.

Growing up we used to go to a place called - Gloria Stevens - sm

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Probably was like a curves. To celebrate our weight loss after we worked out we walk next door to the Friendly Ice Cream parlor and celebrate with a Hot Fudge Sunday. LOL (true story actually).

Well, - anon

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If you are, what is he supposed to say? Would you rather he lie to you? Sometimes the truth hurts.

Large/overweight/fat/obese/lGARGANTUAN - People pretty much know they are

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No doctor or PA has to inform them of the fact because it IS obvious. A doctor's place is to inform how this condition affects your health and quality of life, and if she/he can do this in a way that helps the patient to achieve weight loss, they they are doing a fine job. I once had a PA who told me I was "a little bit overweight." God bless him because I was about 50 pounds overweight at the time. I knew I was and knew that I should lose weight, and his comment, which was a very gentle way of putting things, gave me the incentive to start losing. My personality type is that if I feel overwhelmed, I tend to not do anything. So I started cutting back "a little bit," exercising "a little bit," and am now at the high end of normal for my height and build.

I'm not being mean, just observant - sm

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I know doctors can be moody to STAFF and such, but they are generally pretty reasonable when it comes to patients. They really DO want you to continue coming back, you pay their bills. I worked for a doctor that would yell at me in the hallway and then open the examining room door to the patient with the biggest smile and "good morning" ever.

Considering it seems to you that several of your providers have this "attitude" perhaps it is a problem more within YOU than them. Maybe you don't intend to be rude, but perhaps come off that way. I don't know, just a thought.

Well, he said he was a perfectionist and - Tired

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when I told him about my friend's vision, he said in front of 2 others in the room (one I thought perhaps interning), the other an assistant he thought I was denegrating his work. I do not know how that played in the fact of my friend's vision but I told him he was absolutely guessing me wrong, had never had 20/20 and he had told me he would "try" to achive 20/30. I did ask him could I expect the vision to improve (that was the first assitant told me I should do, ask him, when I had asked her first, does the vision improve some over a month or so). I went to a plastic surgeon one time and he absolutely promised me about a procedure, that being inserting a pad behind a frown line and when it did not work like he promised he asked me why he was allowed to perform another surgical procedure and I told him about his promise and he said to me "well it was only my word against his." I did not plan to bring any sort of legal action at all. Another time I went to my primary care and with my age I try to make notes for myself so I don’t forget. It was a Saturday and I never went in on a weekend but in extreme amount of pain due to fibromyalgia and thought I was having shingles at the same time. I handed him the paper when he asked me what was the problem, he was extremely busy and threw that across the room saying he did not read notes. I would have to choose which 1 was bothering me the most. I choose something for the fibro and went to a dermatologist on Monday, sure enough I had shingles as well and those were treated then. I did not expect perfection from this ophthalmologist at all and told him glad to even see. He said I have macular degeneration in that eye but I have in the other as well. The ones you have worked for may have done exactly like you said but like I said, there is no way in the world this physician would have said sorry in the least I am quite sure unless he really felt that way for his actions.

How about the surgeon who forgot - Tired

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about a procedure I paid for in advance, that being a facelift. It was a combo procedure, his fee up front was $10,000 for the two. I came home after overnight stay in the hospital, looked at my face thought this does not look like I had anything done, no excessive swelling, bruising, etc. I went first to medical records, looked at my chart, sure enough no facelift. Went to his office and he said he did not think forgot, got him to check his records and sure enough supposed to be included. He wrote me an IOW on his letterhead office paper but after then he refused to give back the $3,000 for that part and not only that he personally called me at my home several times in a threatening way and I thought I am going to lose my hospital job (where he also worked) over this and decided to just let it go although sure did not feel this was right for him to keep the part he did not do. Bottom line this, an op report is supposed to be dictated within 24 hours of the surgery, right? I kept watching for the report and he dictated it 9 months later and guess what? He made up the part about the facelift, put in just like it was done. I took to the director of medical records told her falsified. I do not have an every day last name so there is no way he would not have known 100% what he was doing when dictating, plus the fact of his personally calling me at my home.

you sound like a real gem - being cordial

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I am one of those people who end up saying things that don't come out right, so I try very hard - before saying anything - to think about what it is I'm saying. Since the common denominator in each scenario is you, perhaps some calm self-reflection would help in figuring out how to handle things in the future.

You don't have to come across as rude to be heard.

I guess you are right, surgeon should have - Tired

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taken $3,000 without doing his procedure and not returned (if I had done that probably would be arrested for stealing) but he is a physician and to even think I would mention to an ophthalmologist about my friend having excellent vision, what in the world was I thinking. Surely I was blaming the doctor this morning for her good vision. I should be willing to show my size 20 with all the 0s and 2s and not feel discouraged about my size and "grow up." What in the world was I thinking when I had shingles and fibro at the same time, asking a caring doctor to look over 3 issues I had going on on a sheet of paper. Bad me....I have thought about the situation going back to the cataract surgeon. Looking at the eye chart and not having any input or asking any questions, just letting him direct me only. Guess that is one way to get along since I seem to be the villian here even though no apology on my part this morning - guess he did that just to make me feel better huh?

Sometimes it isn't WHAT you say, but rather HOW you say it. - sm

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Nobody is saying you have no right to speak up, express concerns, ask questions or whatever. Perhaps it is the way you come across. We all know those people who we think are good as gold, but before we really "knew" them we thought they were horrid. Maybe it's not you and every single physician you have come equipped with horrible bedside manner. Just something for you to THINK about, not justify by any means. Nobody is trying to attack you, just giving you some possible insight to make YOUR life easier. Good luck:)

She sounds sooo misunderstood - See Msg

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Sounds to me like you need to just do a calm check of yourself. You are coming across as such a victim of everybody. Nobody is a victim of that many people, seriously.

Maybe you are going into these things with your claws out, as a way to defend yourself of what you perceive to be an attack. When I see someone like that, I'm ready to act and automatically feel defensive. I just see too many holes in your scenarios. Gosh darn, did you perhaps say "crazy" first, and the doctor was just mirroring your comment?

I know this all sounds like attacks to you, but I think we're just trying to help.

Lawks! - anon

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Do you ever listen to yourself?

What I don't get is why bring up the fact that your friend has perfect vision anyway if she has no relation to the Dr. and it's not relevant to your own case? Why not say, my friend said it looked like something's in my eye and leave it at that?

And maybe you should GO to a gym before you start whining about how only 0s and 2s are there-- or find one where there's not so many. I'm far from a size 2 and I go to the gym. So do many other curvy ladies.

Sounds to me like you have some issues you really need to work on. You're complaints sound more like you're projecting than anything else.

There are loads of women not wanting to be in the gym - with smaller sizes, not only me

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Just do a survey and if people are honest they will say. Just recently saw a televison program on this same issue with women saying that. I exercise, 6 miles week walking and also belong to a swim group, don’t have to go to gym per se to exercise.

That's why - anon

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I suggested that she check out several gyms. Not all are created equal and not all have a pile of 0s and 2s working out there. I belong to the Y, and let me tell you, there's a pretty small ratio of small sizes. Frankly, I see them as motivation for myself. I don't know, maybe I live in a fat area and that's why there's so many heavier set people at my Y.

My Thought Exactly - see msg

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I thought the same thing. Maybe it's the OPs general attitude. Gosh, I'm 58 years old and have been going to doctors of all types most of my adult life. I have never run into a rude one yet. Maybe you'r coming in with some sort of attitude. Or perhaps you are condescending.

Are other people in your life (personal or otherwise) often rude to you? If so, for sure you need to look in the mirror.

Most people I feel are drawn to me - Tired

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because they seem to think I have a good sense of humor, outgoing and in fact when my daughter was younger and her friends would come over they wanted to talk to me more than her and she said one time, Mother they are MY friends. I have had doctors before that I really liked and no issues but the ones I have listed have been in the last say 10 years. My comment this morning that ticked the doctor off completely taken out of context. I was talking about (friend) the vision another had in asking me what she saw in my eye and I was asking him what was she seeing, mayve a stitch there?? And that is when he started about my downing him??? Her vision had absolutely NOTHING to do with his doctoring. She lives over 1000 miles away, never saw this doctor at all yet because I said my friend with almost perfect vision- that is what got him upset. Like I said next time I have to go back will take the eye test, have no input at all and just follow his recommendations.

Same thing here - When working in house

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We had a cardiologist who was a true-life nightmare to work for. Rude, condescending, threatening an MT's job whenever he felt the need to coerce someone into prioritizing one of his non-priority jobs, verbally abusive...you name it, if it was a negative trait, this doctor had it. We dreaded having to deal with him on ANY level.

Same guy was my aunt's cardiologist and she thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread. She said he was caring and sweet and went above and beyond the call of duty taking care of her after a quadruple bypass.

Turned out most all of his patients saw him the same way my aunt did.

I never told my aunt what a horror of a man he was to work with but was I ever shocked to find out one person could be so utterly completely different in two different types of interpersonal situations. Yowzer, what an eye-opening experience.

Have deceased husband, kidney failure and get this - Tired

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For his auto payment the insurance required that he have papers filled out, forgot now how often as this was in the late 90s, but I took them into his doctor. One day the doctor came out, called me into the office, closed the door and stated emphatically he nor any other person in his office would fill out any more of these forms, just would not be done. I had been in his office with my husband several times, never saw this side. I came home, called the insurance company- they stated he could not do this and I told them you talk to him because I was not going to again. The insurance decided to put on autopay as he would never get better, in fact died few months later.

You sound like me - I'll tell you what my DH told me - anonymoose - sm

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I'm going to have to agree with the posters above. I've told my husband how dare this or that one say this or that to me and he said "do you ever think it may be you. Chances are if it's happening more than once it's not them, its you. He also told me that the way my mouth moves and my facial expressions when I'm talking to people others who don't know me can take it as being rude. Depends on the tone.

I honestly would not have told him about your friend. If that had nothing to do directly with you and his procedure he did I don't know why you would have brought it up. To me it sounds like you were questioning what he did.

But sometimes you have to think if it's happening with multiple docs chances are you might take a look at what or how it is you say things.

On a side note DH and I went to get our hair cuts and I was chatting with the hair dresser after we left he told me that sometimes I need to think about what I'm saying. He said other people in the place could hear me and you never know if what I'm saying could offend others. I myself have a habit of talking without thinking first and I need to improve myself on that (think some duck tape will work for me). LOL

About my friend's comment - Tired

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I could not see what she was asking me about, she said it looked like lint (I did not tell him that, I thought it might be a suture still there) and that was what I was asking, what did she see that I was asked about. It had nothing to do with his expertise but more like what was showing in my eye?? I guess should just shut up and learn my place in life, right?? Let a doctor tell you "grow up," let a doctor "steal" $3000 from you for work not done, let a doctor throw your papers across the room. I will try and learn my "place" and not say anything that might "offend" people who are not my peers.

There you go again - Victim Status

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Are you perhaps perceiving all their comments and such wrong? Throwing things, being horribly rude, come on now.

I do have a pointed question, and I hope you don't mind. Is the mailman rude, the FedEx guy, the grocer, your family? If so, it's you sweetheart, who are coming across badly.

Now of the people you asked about rude at all - Tired

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I have 2 mail people, 1 male and 1 female. Gave presents at Christmas, both extra nice, fedex guy never meet, they ring doorbell and away most times although have seen some when having to sign, no problem there, know the people at the store, all nice. Never had 1 solitary issue with the above you listed, have friends from high school from many years ago.

Correct to my posting- should be none - instead of now

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sorry bout that.

OMG - that is not what I said - anonymoose - sm

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I can see from your posts you think you are never wrong, you are always right, always the victim, blah, blah blah.

I never said you need to shut your mouth and learn your place in life. From reading all of your posts I'll bet any money you were obnoxious to the doctor trying to prove he did something wrong. That's what kind of attitude you are giving off.

Sometimes people need to step back and take a look at the situation. It doesn't matter about your mailman or friends or whatever. This is a doc that you were trying to prove what to? If I was a doc and my patient started questioning because she had a friend of a friend of a friend who saw this or that, um I'd get a bit ticked.

If you have a problem with a procedure, just discuss that, not I had a freind look at my eye and we believe you did something wrong (or something similar).

Take a step back and look at the situation from someone else's viewpoint.

The doctor did not "steal" 3000 from you. He did a procedure that you paid him for. If you are an MT then you should know that sometimes procedures don't always go 100% perfectly.

As for not saying anything to offend people who are not your peers. Sounds like you make it a habit of not caring about others and say anything you want not caring if you offend people because they are not your peers. There is something in life called "decency". No, you don't go blabbing all over the place not caring what other people think. You may not care whether or not you offend people, but others do. It's just a common decent thing to do to not blab out whatever we want. You need to have a little compassion for people whether or not they are your peers.

The surgeon "did not do any procedure" - Tired

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Do you not understand he FORGOT to do the procedure and then told me he was not supposed to? He had me pay up front, no problenm there but then he did not do. HE TOTALLY FORGOT but yet when I just asked for that part of the money back for something HE DID NOT DO AT ALL, NOT HALFWAY but entire procedure, he refused and called me with threatening calls to my home. I would not use the IOU, who would after that. He then went on to falsify a medical record by dictating a full report which included the face lift. This is a doctor who called me personally, not his office, from a separate hospital and he knew my name. Do you like false information in your medical record? I doubt that very seriously.

I never asked for my friend to look in my eye. She did and like I said, thought perhaps a SUTURE and asked him what she saw, thought perhaps some tag hanging out of my eye.

If I were in the wrong, do you think he would apologize to me, saying he had not had his morning coffee and sorry he had taken it wrong???

I have no problem with saying I am wrong when I am by the way.

I do not belleve in paying someone $3,000 for something not done in the first place- maybe you are different.

You specifically stated he did - and stop yelling - anonymoose - sm

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You stated (and I'll copy and paste so you don't acuse me of lying). You wrote:

"I went back to the ophthalmologist, had cataract surgery about 3 weeks ago."

So you DID have surgery (which is also called a procedure) "3 weeks ago".

No, you DO have a problem saying you are wrong.

Are you a troll trying to stir up trouble. I'll bet any money none of this even happened and you are only here trying to get people to feel sorry for. Maybe you suffer from Munchausen syndrome. In that case I feel sorry for you and hope you get the help you need.

I think we've all been "punked".

I said the plastic surgeon did not do the operation - and yet charged me the $3,000

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and apparently you do not read or comprehend correcty, maybe dyslexia? I never said the cataract surgery not done. That cataract procedure cost me a grand total of about $20.00 because of hubby's great insurance coverage.

Maybe hubbies great insurance coverage - sm

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Could pay for some counseling. Maybe your hubby could teach you some lessons in how not to be rude to people.

You were talking about your cataract procedure in your OP. Make up your mind.

Looks like I've been punked too.

She is Annoying, - ...but...

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She was rambling and did say that she never got the face lift that the one doc was supposed to do.

She rambles on and on which is why there is confusion. SO, I get that she didn't get the facelift she was supposed to, and that she got charged.

I do have to wonder, though, did she back out of the face lift last minute? Who knows with this lady.

Okay, I tortured myself and read through her posts again - LOL - sm

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The first post was a huge long paragraph about her cataract surgery and she thought some doc was talking down to her. Found another post and in that she talked about her endocrinologist. Then she wrote another post about her eye doctor again. My post was addressing her eye doc in which she states she had a procedure, then told me she didn't have the procedure, then I copied what I was replying to and then all of a sudden she's talking about a another post she wrote that had nothing to do with what I was writing about.

Just now I she posted about some face lift, but that was written after I wrote my posts, so I didn't see it. There was no need for her to be yelling. Her new post had nothing to do with what I wrote about. I was never addressing that because that post was written after I wrote my posts. She's the one who got them confused in all her complaints.

In all her anger she is the one who veered of the topic of what I was talking about.

She is annoying for sure and she does ramble. No wonder it's hard to keep track. I'm with JC below who wrote I'd be out all day. LOL

did you HEAR yourself call the poster dyslexic?? - ugly AND ignorant

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Shame on you. Dyslexia is widespread and has nothing (NOTHING) to do with comprehension. What an ignorant, rude, ugly, misinformed thing to say.

you should have taken action to recover the $3000 - for goodness sake

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You did nothing to recover this money. You waited nine months (!) to play detective with your medical record. You could have EASILY obtained an independent medical opinion directly after your procedure as a means of documenting your situation. What on earth were you waiting for?

I never said I waited 9 months, never - where do - you get this from?

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I waited no absolutely nothing. Apparently when you say you tried about something for some reason others here do not hear - that being, and this is the last time I asked the doctor for return, after that I talked to his office, after that I called and talked to attorneys, after that I went to mediation (where he did not show), after that the physician called me, after that I finally came upon the report, took it to medical records head and told to write a note saying the facelift did not happen. Don’t know what else I could have done. I said I NEEDED my job. We worked at the same hospital. Now can people understand?

Question for Tired - JC

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Does your husband stick around and listen to you all day? OMG, I'd be out all day playing golf or tennis or something if I had you in my house. Or better yet, just leave, period.

If told you the truth you would still not want to believe - because most do not have the ideal

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marriage like mine. I see others here complaining about how their hubby does not assist in the home, they drink, do drugs, on and on. Ours is one where we love to spend time together always. He is the love of my life and I totally adore him. When we moved to our home we have now I asked him if he would like one of the bedrooms for his office but he wanted to share the same office I do. We share the same love of animals, travel, life is good on this end. We laugh extensively and he still says sweet things like we just met.

Maybe I was not concise in sharing my thoughts about my paying for a facelift. A combo procedure, abdominoplasty, was done at the same time. The abdominoplasty done- $7,000 for that, the facelift not. On those procedures you have to pay out of pocket for the operative suite, anesthesia, stay in the hospital, so it really turns out to be expensive and then to just forget and not return money. This is from the plastic surgeon. The cataract surgery went fine, no issue there. Signing off now. Maybe the next person posting will not be as annoying- which by the way I find others here to be but usually just read and do not respond.

If he didn't do a procedure and you paid for you - you need to take him to small claims or sue

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It is illegal (as far as I know) to have someone pay for a procedure that was not done.

I would get on that right away.

Any lawyer will not take a suit like this - because it not

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like an accident or such. I called several lawyers, told the same thing over and over. This is elective procedure. I even went to the hospital and tried to go through mediation after asking for the money to be returned. He would not show up even and then the phone calls made by him started to my home. I needed my job at the hospital and the doctors run a hospital, not a transcriptionist. I was told that doctors are not employees and they bring the money into the hospital.

I am very sorry this happened to you. - sm

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He definitely sounds guilty to me if he doesn't even show up. That's a lot of money to lose.

Definitely find every website you can and write a review of your experiences. If you can't get your money back that way then maybe you can at least help unsuspecting people who might want to go to him in the future.

Sounds like you have a wonderful husband and life to help get you through getting shafted.

I appreciate your thoughts, I really do - but do you know I got scared

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of this physician. I swear on my family's life this happened and with his calling my home, not going through his office staff, calling from the hospital not where the surgery was done but another hospital affliated with the 1 where I worked, he sounded angry that I tried to retrieve what I paid. I think, really do, had I gone onto a website to discuss this he would probably know by description who I was and then what? I wake to find a horse head in my bed? Scaryyyy to say the least.

That is very very scary - sm

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It is very unnerving to have to feel that way. I myself am paranoid about a lot of things I write or things I email to people so I know how you feel. Sometimes after I email a friend a website I sit and wonder if the "men in black" are going to come knocking on my door and drag me off for questioning :-)

Kind of funny, but fully understand your feelings. I think in your case I would then create a spell to hex him :-)

Sounds like you have a wonderful life though and supportive husband and you got through it. Just sucks thought. If he is that kind of person then maybe its a good thing he didn't perform the procedure on you. I'll bet you're beautiful without it being done.

THANKS! - no message

[ In Reply To ..]
....

Please report this to your state's Board of Medical Examiners - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
x

Sorry, but I call horse hockey on this - You had an IOU from him

[ In Reply To ..]
You said you had an IOU from him saying that he didn't do the procedure and "owed" it to you. That's all the evidence you need right there. You saying you talked to three lawyers who wouldn't take the case is crap. Lawyers eat this stuff for breakfast.

No one takes $3k from me for something they were supposed to do and didn't. NO ONE.

Every single lawyer I called and there were - probably more than 3 all stated

[ In Reply To ..]
the exact same thing, you have cosmetic surgery and you, the patient, undertake the responsibility if something goes wrong. If you are a nonbeliever, I would suggest you contacting a lawyer, explain you were to have 2 surgeries done, 1 was, the other the physician forgot. Just see what their response is. Even the hospital where he and I both worked would not intervene other than my setting up the mediation and he just never showed up. That angered him to the point where he called me at home, very, very threatening sounding. I am a big girl but I could not go against him and the hospital where we both worked. Do you think they would push the issue if it came down to him or me? I did not go to the higherups there- I needed my job and I was the only one working and supporting my children then. I had the paper work, the IOU on his office letter head with it signed by him, I had the medical records available and after 9 months had his falsified record that was put in my chart and remains there. When I went to the head of medical records and said false, I was told I could "write a note stating that and she would place it in my chart." His made up record stayed in my chart. The way the lawyers explained- different if you were to be in an accident. On my case the jury would say, well this is something she brought on herself and see plastic surgery more as frivilous, you have done so called harm to yourself rather than an outside force such as accident. Hope this clears it and like I said, can always check for yourself. Sure, I wanted the money back but wanted my job even more.

Thoughts - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
I have a feeling that you might not have explained yourself very well to the lawyers and the hospital.

If you contracted and paid for a service, and don't receive that service or your money back, then that is a contract case that can be brought to court. One party did not follow through with its obligations to the other party. With the relatively small amount though, you may be better served in small claims court rather than via a lawyer.

I think the lawyers thought you wanted to pursue some type of lawsuit based on the outcome of the surgery--thus the assumed risk issue--rather than based on the broken contract.

Not sure how old your issue is or if you ever got your money back, but I would say small claims court would be the best option to resolve your issue, if you are still within the statue of limitations.

"Common Sense" - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
WITHOUT being insulting, just wanted to point out. I read through all of your posts and complaints about how this person or that person treated you. It WOULD seem like the problem lies more with you, since it is vast, but perhaps you live in a city full of rude problems.

I was going to point out this. Maybe you don't think you are coming off in a condescending manner with people and that is why many, many people have given you advice for you to check yourself. NOT for you to have to defend yourself, just quietly, in your own time, check your actions, which could make you have a happier life.

About "common sense", this is what most of us have that make us behave a certain way. Some people think a little more outside of the box than others. My cousin is this way. I love her to death, but sometimes she says things that if I didn't know her, I would be offended.

With the comparing your eyes to your friends....ME, PERSONALLY, I wouldn't have done that, because it would come off as...."Her doctor is better than you" and that would give ANYONE an attitude. If you came and cleaned my house for me and I proceeded to tel you how my friend's house is so much cleaner after her housekeeper did it, would you not get a slight attitude? I think that is human nature.

Then, you made the comment about your daughter's friends love you and your daughter had to confront you to tell you that they were HER friends and not yours. Well, with ME, my kids have friends over and some of those friends like to hang around with adults and tend to want to stay under me. My daughter has never had to point out to me that they are her friends and not mine, because with MY OWN PERSONAL "common sense" I know that they are their to play with my kids and I just make a comment like "Hey, why don't you go have fun with the rest of the kids" I wouldn't spend my day taking up time with kids who were there to visit with my kids.

Again, I was not trying to offend, just stating my own opinion.

I read and understood but again did not ask anyone to - look in my eyes

[ In Reply To ..]
I only asked him what she had seen, thinking I had a suture sticking out, had no idea what it was and certainly not comparing. I did not try to hover around her friends. They came in my office where I worked and gathered there talking, not me in their space. As far as happy, I could not have an easier life now than have ever had in the past and am thankful for what I do have. Great hubby, kittycats I love, grown children, travel, some great friends and life to me has never been better. Thanks for the advice.

About the gym and size 0's and 2's - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm a size 2 who goes to the gym. I didn't used to be--I lost 55 pounds. I did it by going to the gym with all the size 0's and 2's, and now I'm one of them.

You DO have to grow up at some point and ask yourself if you are serious about losing weight or not. You don't HAVE to go to the gym, the point is you need to make changes in your life.

Making excuses is perfectly acceptable if you want things to stay exactly as they are.

Think I cleared this up by stating what exercise - I do, that being

[ In Reply To ..]
walking and also in a swim group. That was said to me several years ago. Having said that just was reading an article written by Jen Larsen after losing 180 pounds. Her doctor started by remarking about how much better she would feel if say going down the airplane aisle to not be bumping into other folks amongst other things. She was saying losing the weight really messed with her mind, not the same person, lost her sense of self, looked like a sick stranger, etc. This is probably on line somewhere, might want to read. I am glad you lost, good for you. If not grown at my age, don’t think I will ever be there.

I wouldn't let one woman's story discourage my healthy lifestyle. - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I read that too and I had the opposite experience. I lost 130 pounds, without surgery, just changing my lifestyle. It seemed to go so quickly too and there was a point that I would almost be shocked when I looked in the mirror. I remember the first bikini I bought, after YEARS of not wearing one, I was just standing there in the mirror astounded. I never had "bad feelings" about my new body. She said her life wasn't "magically better" and I guess if you have deep rooted issues, then that would be the case. I do know that I felt magically better as far as feeling so good about myself, feeling healthier, being able to breathe better, not getting short-winded playing with my kids etc.

The main point is to be HEALTHY and be comfortable in your skin.

OMG! He was so unprofessional with you!... - none

[ In Reply To ..]
He said, "grow up"?! Wow, you handled it a lot better than I would have. I have never been talked to in that manner but a doctor of any kind. And to apologize to you after stating he hasn't had coffee?! JEEEEEZE... I would have fired him on the spot and walked out. You could always ask his partner or the nurse the rest of what you needed to know. It's not you. That was unreal to read.

Actually those were 2 entirely different physicians - that said those things

[ In Reply To ..]
The one who told me to "grow up" was a doctor I was seeing for the first time, a GI specialist. He said that in reply to my saying not interested in going to a gym where sizes 0s and 2s were. I tried to play that off and left out without causing a scene. Never went back, of course, and that was about 3 years ago.

Then this week I return back to a doctor who has done my cataract surgery and he was the one who "thought" I was demeaning him by mentioning a friend noticed something in my eye and when I asked him what she saw,I said she has excellent vision and he was incensed thinking I was somehow or other making a remark against him?? This woman lives over 1000 miles from me, never has seen an ophthalmologist, much younger person than me but am just tired of doctors who think they are so high and mighty you should just let them say whatever they want and not respond? I say now and I said when starting this post I did not do anything against this doctor and if he took a statement about someone having "excellent eyesight" as a smear against him then he needs a reality check. I have for too long (no matter how others on here have never ran into this kind of treatment) heard and seen abusive things from doctors and I think time it stopped, at least on my end. He was all over the place apologizing and yes he did say excuse him because he had not had his first cup of coffee. I did not (unlike others think I might have acted) do 1 thing to have this person flip off on me. Things were going well, I thought. I guess I should not have asked him if the vision would improve more (oh, had read on the internet sometimes this might take awhile to achieve better eyesight) but was told by the first assistant seeing me to ask him, I did and apparently becaues he told me he was a "perfectionist" and my vision was not "perfect" yet I guess he thinks I hold him responsible?? I have never had 20/20 vision in my life. I will have very little to say when returning - have to return again in 2 weeks.

Some advice - me3

[ In Reply To ..]
1. Regarding your recent cataract surgery, it's your eye and eyesight that matter, not "rude" doctors. You say that you cannot see/read the computer screen with the eye that had the recent surgery. Could you see/read the computer screen with that eye before? If you could and now cannot, or if the computer screen looks worse to you than it did in that eye before surgery, you definitely need to speak up about it on your next visit and if you don't get satisfactory answers about your eye, then you need to get a second opinion. I apologize in advance to the second opinion doctor that you go to because you have a terrible "non-bedside manner", but a second opinion is definitely warranted under the above circumstances.

2. Regarding your paid-for facelift that never was done. If you have an IOU from that physician and no surgical scars/marks that would indicate that a facelift was done, any lawyer would take a case like that because it is an open and shut case,and made even stronger by the physician dictating a falsified report about the never-performed face lift. Any on the ball lawyer is going to include damages in a case like this, and you will be awarded damages, believe me. You will be financially set, will not have to worry about what this could mean regarding your job, and won't even have to work a job with the money that you are awarded in court or in an out of court settlement, and an out of court settlement is probably the way the doctor would want to go if everything is the way that you say it is.

Your asking about surgeries - Tired

[ In Reply To ..]
I had been to the ophthalmologist prior. I have macular degeneration but quiescent at present. About 10 years ago had Lasik surgery, the vision was so good after that. Over the past few months had noticed blurry vision in left eye, thought maybe the Lasik needed retweeking, went to the eye doctor and surprised when he said cataract (knew I had for years, never matured enough for surgery). The eyesight prior to the blurriness was really good and yes, I could see the screen prior to the surgery and I was disappointed but not with him, with my eyesight in general. I did not blame him at all for my lack of seeing. He is not God after all. Remember when my daddy had his cataracts done, no longer needing glasses, saying eyesight was excellent, heard another patient who had surgery the same day as me mentioning in follow up visit how good he could see the next day, I have been down in spirits about my experience.

I will tell you like I have others here, there is no lawyer that I contacted who after hearing what happened would take the case. This is not a new thing but happened several years ago. Limitation has run out probably by now but I tried, I really did. Get this, when going home from the hospital I even had a gauze like wrap that was put around my head just like the facelift done. No scars, no bruising, nothing when I checked. Why that was put around my head I have no idea. All I asked for was the $3,000 paid up front for which no surgery was done and he shut down basically after the IOU, with his nurse telling me he had given me a "discount" because of my being a hospital employee and that was what he got for doing that for me. If I got a discount, surely would not have wanted him to decide to "discount" the surgery to perhaps do 1 side and then not even stitch up. As it were, nothing done. I have left that up to Karma. You cannot do bad and expect back good. It just will not happen. I even copied off the falsified operative report. Back then even working from home for the hospital, still not working for outside company, I had the ability to do that, kept searching until he finally dictated, 9 months after the procedure. There is no way this doctor "forgot" after all the calls to me personally, my name being unusual and he knowingly put something in my records completely untrue. The lawyers I talked to told me no jury would be sympathetic to my cause at all. I wanted the surgery that was elective. I tried.....

You know what ... - my take on this

[ In Reply To ..]
You spent an overnight in a hospital, came home with gauze wrapped around your head, and somehow believe that no surgery was done and there was a conspiracy to get you to believe that there was? Really?

After reading all three of these lengthy threads, I see voluminous posts from you that are floods of hard to follow verbiage, tangential references, jumping to conclusions, accusations, putting words in others's mouths, paranoia, and -- regarding the surgery you did not believe happened -- delusional thinking. You actually seem to write in pressured speech.

I think two things about this. First, that people here should not become embroiled in your threads because nothing anyone says will please you. Second, you might be able to benefit from medication because you appear to have a disorder of some sort. You might really want to talk to a psychiatrist, because I think they can help you. If you are already supposed to be on medication, you either went off it or it needs to be adjusted.

Are you really serious? - Tired

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Conspiracy? Now this really has me confused. Surgery that I did not believe happened?? Did you read the part where plastic surgeon wrote me an IOU on letterhead paper because he FORGOT to do the facelift? Nah, I guess you must have just skipped over that part. Jumping to conclusions? Delusional? I must say you seem to have a good understanding of psychiatry and medicine prescribed being of help. Maybe you are taking and it helps you?

Well, the story is hard to follow - it keeps changing

[ In Reply To ..]
Now I notice that the dead husband is alive again. Did I miss something?

No meds for me, sorry. I just work with someone like this. Every day is a new installment.. Sadly, for everyone.

Re: Advice. Follow up - me3

[ In Reply To ..]
If your eye is still blurry and not improving at this point you should get a second opinion as to what exactly is going on with that eye. With you having macular degeneration, having had Lasik surgery 10 years ago and now recent cataract surgery, if the blurriness is not improving from what it was 3 months ago in that eye you need a second opinion, and especially so if you have only been seeing one ophthalmologist for all of these problems. Sometimes problems like this take 2 or 3 doctors to figure out exactly what is going on.

If that blurriness is no better than it was you definitely need a second opinion. It's your eyesight that is involved.

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