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College

Posted: Jul 10, 2013

My daughter needs help raising the two hundred dollars to hold her spot at college to finish her degree. Any help is greatly appreciated. Please click the link below.

http://www.gofundme.com/3idv6w

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to hold her spot at college? - what does that mean?

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money - Effie

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If you can't afford $200 to hold her spot, how are you going to afford college period???

Deposit - sm

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It's common for schools to require a deposit even if you get financial aid, to prevent students from registering at multiple schools until they decide which one they want to go to. The money is then applied to tuition.

We don't know her daughter's situation. I work my butt off as a single mom, but I needed help with my deposit to go back to school. Getting that help showed support in me completing my goals. I don't necessarily think it's bad to ask for help. I don't have money to help, but understand where her daughter is coming from.

We have people here - who are losing their homes (sm)

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...do THEY ask for money here on the message board?

Maybe they do -- I haven't been following the "Gab" board for very long.

Anyway, I at least would be likelier to help out a fellow MT who is being made homeless by the robber barons who have taken over our industry, than someone who wants us to help pay for her kid's college.

Also, it seems to me that requests of this type could EASILY wind up swamping the board if they were allowed to do so!

Well, I have been contemplating/fearing bankruptcy the past six months - llb

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due to lack of work. Not only would I not come and ask on here (or anyplace else) for funds, I would not accept them if offered. I am old fashioned and believe in personal responsibility. Not casting blame, but other poster was right--some people on here are in foreclosure. I know one MT who literally does not know if her child (she is a single mom) is going to have enough to eat until the next paycheck. I know of one MT who has a critical illness for which she needs $800 (yes, you heard right, $800 a month for ONE of the many prescriptions). She is not on here, either. I do wish your daughter all the best. $200 is not such a big sum to raise. Perhaps some temporary work? I also would wonder, if you have to ask for $200 for the deposit, what are you going to do about the tuition, the textbooks that cost $300 each, etc.? I do hope your daughter is able to go to college. This just does not seem to be the right venue to solicit funds.

I don't mean to be glib, - sm

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but can you lend her the $200? Or put it on a credit card? Could a friend or relative loan it to you, perhaps? Can your daughter work?

This would be a great - opportunity

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for her to gain some firsthand experience with the concept of earning money herself and paying her own way. Unless, of course, her goal is to have the rest of her life funded by handouts or maybe welfare.

great opportunity - sm

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Given the latest update below, I think this would be a great opportunity for the daughter to sit the semester out and enjoy the cell phone she paid $750 to maintain. (!)

Seriously, are you asking strangers - For donations?

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That's nervy. I don't even like when strangers ask for donations to their favorite charity. I actually don't even like when my friends ask for donations to their favorite charity.

I'm not even sure this post is "legal" on these boards--you know, soliciting money.

Why would we give money - To a complete stranger?-nm

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xxxx

Well, maybe she is - xx

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now the center of the universe and we missed the memo that the little princess must never have to lift a finger to help herself. I think she's just greedy and lazy.

Or maybe... - sm

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She thought people might be compassionate. She could have gave a little more of a background story, but don't you all think it would be good to show some compassion for others. It's a shame this industry made everyone so selfish and hateful.

In the real world, this is not uncommon to help someone. We would all do ourselves a favor if we did something nice for someone. It may not be donating money to a stranger or it may be that, but such hatred and hostility is sad...

Even if she had - xx

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GIVEN a little more background, it would still be an outrageous expectation of complete strangers. Seriously, $200? If they can't come up with that, the incidental expenses of college will overwhelm them. Or maybe they'll just expect to have that funded by handouts, too.

Go Fund Me - sm

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That's what Go Fund Me and other websites are for. To raise money. And yes, complete strangers donate. I see it happen all the time as stories get passed around on Facebook and compassionate, complete strangers do what they can for each other.

It's really a good thing, ladies... Too much hatred in this world. We should be helping each other and if not, at least being civil.

Sounds like a great - opportunity

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to get some practice for a life as a welfare queen.

The rest of us are doing this all wrong. We should just be asking for handouts, not working or making any effort to be self sufficient.

Well it's good that you aren't bitter or anything. - LOL

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You know, you're talking about somebody's daughter. Why don't you show a little self-restraint?

Exactly. - agreed.

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Nothing wrong with asking for help. She's going to school to better her life. Learning to give is important. Being a gracious receiver is also important.

OK, then, a sweet, adorable welfare queen. - Better?

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x

What do you think? - nm

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I think she is greedy and lazy. - nm

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x

WHOOOSH. - nm

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.

Why are you being so rude? Just don't - donate. It's simple.

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Do you not care at all that you're talking to a mother about her daughter?

There's no decency left in *some* people.

The mother and the daughter are - apparently

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cut from the same cloth, looking for handouts when it would be so easy and better for the daughter to earn the money for herself. They are behaving like welfare queens all on their own, I'm just pointing it out.

last I knew welfare queens don't get accepted at colleges - nm

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nm

Do not agree - see msg

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Sorry, Charlie. This has nothing to do with being nice to our fellow man or not, it has to do with it's risky to donate to a stranger, no? Too many scams.

To call this "hatred" is not nice. We have no clue where this money is going, and we probably would never find out. Maybe the daughter just wants a brand new dress, who knows.

I don't think it is necessarily think it's the right - place to ask

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however, it rubs me wrong people are so negative about asking for help. If I didn't ask for help at times in my life, I would not be where I am today. And if you've learned that lesson correctly, that people help you when you can, then you help others in the future and pay it forward. Just something to think about.

While I understand not wanting to take that risk, - sm

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The thing I don't understand on this thread is people calling the daughter greedy, lazy and a welfare queen. That *is* hatred.

If you don't want to take the risk, don't take the risk. I get that. But to call her all those names to her mother?!? Inexcusable.

I'm not saying you did that--you were very fair. But there is some hate going on here.

Yes, that got to me too. - sm

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I don't have a lot of money, but $5 is not going to hurt me. I believe in people following their dreams.

I remember my ex telling me I couldn't go back to school because I had a newborn... Showed him...

Too bad it was for being an MT... lol Back to school now. I didn't believe in myself for a while, but I'm finally realizing I can do it.

Or maybe - xxx

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it is not too much to to ask that people accept personal responsibility. $200 is not so much to raise. If she cannot afford the $200 deposit, how will she pay tuition, books, etc?

Deposits - sm

It would seem that - xx

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if you have money for schnauzers, you should have money for your daughter's college without expecting handouts from MTs, many of whom are struggling financially. Unless "schnauzermom" is some sort of commentary on your daughter, which would be weird.

your schnauzer goes to college? - ; ) jk

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shoulda put a spew alert on this one! - NM

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for adding some levity - schnauzermom

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I thank you. I volunteer in breed specific rescue for mini schnauzers. I pull from shelters, foster, transport and rehabilitate schnauzers for their forever homes. I am affiliated with a local rescue along with a regional one.

Boy, did you come to the wrong place to ask - for $$$!! LMAO!!

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Sorry, but we're transcriptionists! I work for Nuance..

Need I say more?

Good luck to your daughter. - Made donation

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Good luck to your daughter. I think it's a great thing she is going back to college. Don't let anyone tell her she can't follow her dreams.

schnauzermom - please sm

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I find some of the responses here appalling. While I might tend to agree that maybe this board isn't the best place to look for donations for your daughter, I just don't understand why people feel the need to post such horrible things on an anonymous board.

I am a firm believer of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it all." The same should apply on this board. Unfortunately, it does not. I sincerely hope your daughter is able to get the money she needs.

I hope this thread gets deleted by the moderator due to some of these hateful responses, although I am not sure posting asking for money is allowed. Either way, like I said, some of these posts are just unbelievable.

Thank you - schnauzermom

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My daughter does work and so does her husband. They had a roommate who was her friend who stiffed her and tried to kill herself. The stress was too much for my daughter and she was very ill. Now that the roommate is out of the picture she and her husband are trying to dig themselves out of the hole. They are making great strides and I am proud of them. They don't live with us nor are they are welfare. He is an EMT actually and plans on becoming a physician's assistant. Her father and I have helped as much as we can. When she applied at this particular school they offered 10,000 dollars a year scholarship. She was very excited. She is a microbiology major. The deposit, which a lot of colleges ask for, will hold her spot and the scholarship and enable her to schedule classes. As time has gone on and all their money has gone toward reducing debt, she has gotten nervous about coming up with the deposit. Her boss is giving her more hours, which should help. So yes they work, no we are not lazy, no we are not on any kind of government assistance. I know there are more good people out there than bad ones and I choose to keep that in mind. So thank you to everyone who had nice things to say.

give her this link - people helping people

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I have used an online organization called Modest Needs. It has been around about 10 years or so. I went through a really hard time in my life and I was able to turn to them for help.

The idea is that if a person has a need, they write in a request. They have to prove their need. People (like me now) go there and read the funding requests. My experience is that if your daughter writes a request and you fund any of it (even just $5), it will end up getting fully funded. I can't say how long that would take since the economy took such a hard turn. I asked for help twice and got it twice, and have reached my life-time maximum with the org. This was for car and daycare expenses in 2006 and 2007.

It really would not hurt to look into it. If she applies and gets approved to be funded, send me an email and I will fund a few dollars to get her started. Best of luck to your family.

(if the link does not work, just Google modestneeds.org)

Thank you - schnauzermom

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I have told her about the site and I will PM you with more info after she contacts them. Again thank you.

schnauzermom - Old Pro

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It sounds to me like you have a very bright daughter, and that she has many advantages (supportive parents, husband, boss), etc. I am betting that she will be able to solve the $200 problem without much difficulty. I wish her the very best of luck!

To the Mom - see msg pls

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I think it's the way you came on, just out of the blue. Send money. It just didn't come across right. Like, you expected the money, you weren't asking for it. Just telling you how your original post came across. I do not think that some of these posts were by any means appropriate, but you could have saved yourself the headache if you came on with your story first, then asked.

We do get things on here that we find offensive, like---go to such and such a site and vote for my daughter; it's just not appropriate.

I still do not think it's appropriate to come here and ask for money, but you could have saved yourself some headache with a little more story, then the request.

In any event, good luck.

Suggestion for your daughter - sm

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Raising funds on gofundme is not a bad idea, but your daughter might have better luck if she explains more about it.

People want to see that their money is going to a good cause and that it will be used wisely.

Your daughter needs to market herself and her plan. It needs to be a reasonable request that people can understand.

Just looking at her request to give her 200, I don't know why someone only needs 200 for college. I don't know that she is even IN college. What are her grades so far? What college? What is she studying? Where is the rest of the money coming from? Where is evidence of a budget and a well-thought-out plan? . How is just 200 going to do it?

I think your daughter needs to show that she deserves and can make use of the money wisely. If she can't explain that in writing, she is not going to do well in college.

As for that 200, shecan earn that fairly easily by washing cars or cleaning houses.

There is more - schnauzermom

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explanation on the link for gofundme. Even her real name is on the link along with the school. She is not the kind of person who usually asks for help and since it is a long story with the mooching roommate ruining their finances along with almost their marriage I am sure there are people out there that will be judgmental about that too.

No new information - sm

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I don't see any new information. Make it personable. You want people to give you money... Why? Kings... what does that mean to anyone? Nothing to me if I'm not in PA. It comes off as warning donators because your daughter is not Facebook verified. Explain why you need $200 now and not the entire tuition. Make sense? :)

There is more - Watcher

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Having an opinion about this is not the same as being judgmental. How about the girl earning her $200 herself? What is going to happen when unexpected costs come up at college? Lab fees? Unexpected books? Perhaps the greatest lesson is that of self-sufficiency.

to all who have suggested (long message) - schnauzermom

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more info here is the story in my daughter's own words.

As much as I hate to do this, I've absolutely run out of options and I'm at the end of my rope. Any of you who are my Facebook friends should know of the issues I've had with my ex-friend/roommate, Lora, over the past few months either from myself or from Mom telling you the story. Those who aren't, I'll enlighten now.

Lora moved in with Bryan and I when we got our new apartment in February. It's a pricey place, but every single one of our utilities is paid for and our landlady loves Moose. It was our dream apartment. We only took it because Lora was to be helping us. Between the three of us, we knew we could afford it. However, problems started immediately. Lora had to have a knee surgery that meant she had to quit her job. She was going to find something, and I kept a positive attitude about the whole thing. However, even leaving out the personal issues that sprung from Lora starting a relationship with my best friend Kyle (a complete disaster), cracks appeared almost immediately. Lora was dealing with some personal issues stemming from her father's death when she was younger (which she had started therapy for) and her therapist believed she was bipolar. She was supposed to be taking medication for that, but she refused. Instead, she ended up addicted to the Vicodin that she was prescribed after the surgery and the longer she went without finding a job, the more depressed she got.

A few days before Easter, she tried to kill herself by overdosing on Vicodin and Ambien. I rushed her to the hospital and they managed to help her recover. Her mother convinced the hospital that it was an accidental overdose and Lora came home with me. However, I couldn't leave her alone for more than a few minutes. I ended up missing so much school to try to help her that I had to drop out for the semester. It broke my heart to do it, but I knew I couldn't just let her die. On Easter Sunday, Kyle was visiting...he came out of her room and told me that she'd slipped a muscle relaxant on top of her Vicodin and that she couldn't move. I lost it. I couldn't believe I'd lost my job and my academic career for her, and she repaid me like that.

We ended up moving past it and she seemed to be getting better, but it was all fake. She never found a job. The one chance she had, she blew. Finally, at the beginning of May, she informed me that she was moving out. The ensuing fight was an absolute disaster and led her to try to take both my husband and Kyle from me. She didn't succeed, but she left behind a ton of damage. We'd been taking care of her since February, and subsequently had been forced to let several bills fall behind.

A week after this all happened, I learned that I'd been accepted to King's College in Wilkes-Barre for the fall semester. This is one of the best schools in the area, with a nationally renowned science program. Here, I'd be studying biology with a double minor in molecular biology and chemistry. The problem is that we are struggling to play catch up on the bills we couldn't afford while we were paying to feed Lora...and I can't afford to pay the $200 tuition deposit. I've been trying so hard for the last few weeks to scrape the money together, but in that time period, we've had to shell out $750 to keep our cell phones from being shut off, $400 to keep my car from being repossessed, and another $700 to catch up on our rent. Every time I think we'll have the money, there's something else that it needs to go to. If I don't pay it soon, I'll lose my spot for the fall and I won't be able to return to school. Bryan actually dropped out of school to work as much as possible, and probably won't be returning until I'm done. I only have a year and a half left to go until I have my degree.

As I said, I truly do hate to beg, but I have no other options...Mom and Dad have been so helpful in helping us get our bills caught up, but we're still just barely treading water until everything is caught up next month. Please, any small amount of help that you can give would be so, so deeply appreciated!

Does this sounds like someone who is not self sufficient? a welfare queen? Who does not usually pay her own way? Who does not have a good head on her shoulders? Who is asking for a handout? Or does it sound like a compassionate woman who just needs a little help getting back to where she needs to be to get on with her life?

sorry, kiddo... - jmo

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In answer to your questions: Yes. You do sound like someone who is not self-sufficient, and it does not sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. As for compassion, I believe you are confusing this with codependence.

Here was your first mistake: You rented a place you could not afford without the help of someone outside your marriage.

Here was your second mistake: "Her mother convinced the hospital that it was an accidental overdose and Lora came home with me." She "came home" with you? Like, she followed your car on foot? Sorry, that passive explanation doesn't fly with me, and it shouldn't fly with anybody. You were under no obligation - and in NO position - to take this woman on as your responsibility. You needed to walk away and let her go home to her mom's or find another solution.

Here was your third mistake: You shelled out $750 ($750!!) to keep your cell phone working. (Unbelievable!) Sorry hon, but if you shelled out $750 to keep your cell phones, it's hard for me to drum up sympathy for your situation. YOU made a choice to hang onto your cell phone in lieu of completing the education you state is so important.

This has nothing to do with you being compassionate. This has to do with codependence and your interpretation that your circumstance is something that has befallen you rather than something you created.

schnauzermom... - sm

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I'm sorry, but this essay really does not help your daughter's case. She rented an apartment she couldn't afford, took a looney bin into her home, and PAID OFF HER CELL PHONE to the tune of $750.

Does she not have a credit card? Can you not lend her the $200?

you people - schnauzermom

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are either too judgmental or lead perfect lives and have never made bad decisions. I give up. Thank you to all the good people out there and to the rest of you...(credit card sheesh what a stupid idea for someone who is trying to get out of debt WOW)

is there a reason you cannot lend her the money? - sm

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schnauzermom, a credit card may sound like a "stupid" idea, and it's certainly not ideal, but what do you call expensive cell phone bills? I don't even have a cell phone, and I don't want to hear about how people "must" have them. It's not about being judgmental; it's not about being perfect. It's about taking responsibility for the choices we make. Your daughter chose to maintain her cell phone, and you find this an appropriate choice?

cell phone - schnauzermom

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Answering every inquiry is nuts, but my daughter deserves it. The cell phones, which are a family plan are all we have. No house phones. By we I mean her and her husband, her sister and me and my husband and yes we all split the bill. her loser friend was on the plan too and defaulted on that bill. She could not also default on it since like I said it is all we have like a lot of people who have given up on house phones in the country. Now please everyone either help or don't help, but don't judge my daughter, how she got into this mess, me or our financial status. I have answered questions, given explanations, let everyone in on information about our lives and still it has only led to more judgement and more ignorant comments.

schnauzermom, it is time to just be still - people helping people

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There are always going to be haters in the world, people who don't want to lift you through your journey in life. They will talk bad about you to your face and behind your back. Find the people who will lift you and ignore those who don't.

I wish you well.

people who are frank are not haters - nm

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frank versus haters - people helping people

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I hear what you are saying, but there are a lot of haters on this board. It would be impossible to explain every single reason, every single action, each person's motivation, etc., to each and every person who frankly feels the right to an explanation.

At some point, it is just time to let the cards fall where they may and allow people to help or not help, just as she stated in her prior post. I'm not hating on those who frankly want answers; I'm just pointing out to the OP that she could reply and reply till she is blue in the face and not satisfy every person who has one more question, one more opinion.

She took a leap of faith that she could reach someone (or more) on this board who could help her/their situation. It would be insanity to think she could satisfy every thought that every person has about the situation. At some point, it is just time to feel she has done her best to explain herself and trust that she will reach those who will help her.

it is not necessary to throw the word "hate" around - that's all.

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nor is it necessary to show it so blantly - nm

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ffs - now you are arguing semantics

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Just so you know the term haters has become to signify posters who are negative and judgmental. Just like troll signifies someone to posts something just to see people argue about it. Language evolves just like the people who use it. So any of you old farts want to guess what ffs stands for? I will give you a hint...the second f is the bomb. LMFAO

here's some semantics for you... - old fart here

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You don't really want this old fart to prove that she knows what ffs means, do you? How cute you youngsters are.

I was frank. I was not negative, and I don't appreciate being called a hater.

is there a reason you cannot lend her the money? - nm

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Maybe she's as big a train wreck - as the daughter

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or maybe the parents spend all their money on the dogs. The mother actually believes the daughter has ended up in her predicament through no fault of her own. She can't see what the rest of us see, that her predicament is the result of one bad decision after another, one bad choice after another, and wanting more than she can afford and digging herself into a hole to get it. A handout isn't going to solve the underlying problem.

how kind of you - not - nm

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hating hating hating may you reap what you sow

I bet - anon

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they all think of themselves as good Christians too.

I wish someone could explain why it is... - sm

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that allegations of "hate" so frequently escape the mouths of those who quote scripture.

Train wreck - Morgan

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One word sums it all up, "My daughter DESERVES....." Why? Where on her birth certificate is in written that she DESERVES an education? How about earning one? Give up the iPhone and get a Tracfone. Sell the car and take the bus. Get a gig babysitting or pouring coffee. DESERVE! ENTITLEMENT!

her daughter already - anon

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said how much the parents have helped. Do you people want her income and bills along with her parents before you judge them worthy of help or something? When she did mention how much she paid for bills and you people did is judge how could it have possibly been so expensive to have cell phone they should not have in the first place or how she should not take care of her dogs. Cheese and rice!!! All you have are suggestions on what she did wrong, hardly any on what she can do. I guess you are all just so damn perfect and your lives are just awesome. We should all lead such charmed lives.

I realize the parents have helped a lot - sm

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...but King's College is a really good school. It would be a shame if the daughter's scholarship was squandered because of a $200 tuition fee, don't you think?

We are being asked to donate, but Schnauzermom declines to tell us why SHE will not help her daughter - despite being asked multiple times in this thread. I just don't get that.

This has nothing to do with judging who is worthy of help. We all understand how difficult it is to pay bills. Cheese and rice yourself.

choices - sm

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No one asked you to let everyone in on the details of your lives. That was a choice you made. No one thrust it upon you.

I am not judging you or your daughter; I am sharing my feelings about your daughter's request for money. You may not agree with me feelings, but you have no call to judge others as ignorant.

I think at this point we all might be wondering why you can't lend her the $200.

under the heading of "my daughter deserves it" - sm

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There is one inquiry you decline to answer: Why will you not lend her the money? I don't understand this.

After all, if she doesn't pay it soon, she'll lose her spot for the fall and won't be able to return to school.

And she will think that is not her fault - either

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The whole family seems to be delusional. Sensible parents would long ago have shared some hard truth with the daughter about her poor decisions. They are spending money they don't have to maintain a lifestyle they can't afford and now expecting strangers to pick up the pieces and "keep the dream alive." Not only do they (and the mother) seem to think that everything that happened to them was someone else's fault, now they (and the mother) think that it's everyone else's responsibility to solve their money problems.

Every single problem that brought them to this state was preventable. Every single one was due to a conscious choice, not to circumstances beyond their control. They chose to be where they are. They wanted luxuries they couldn't afford and dug themselves into a hole to get them. As long as they continue to spend beyond their means, they will continue to be in the hole, and the hole will just get deeper. The parents need to be exercising a little tough love, not enabling the train wreck.

you are quite full of hot air. unfortunately it stinks - nm

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didn't know you had a spy camera zoomed in on this household to allow you to speak so authoritatively.

hot air and blow holes ...

Nope. The mother and daugher laid it all out - in their own words

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They dug themselves into a hole to have luxuries they couldn't afford and then just kept digging. I didn't have to assume anything. They put it all out there for everyone to see.

Scrooge quote - Surplus population

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"If they'd rather die, then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population."

You are a real...(fill in your own quotable remark)

We are not talking about the Victorian underclass - we are talking about

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a young woman who appears to have entitlement issues and parents who are enabling her self-destructive behavior.

This is no poor little match girl. This is someone who spends money she does not have to maintain a lifestyle she cannot afford, not someone who cannot afford to live. She has reached the predicament she finds herself in through her own choices. The choice she has made to get herself out of her predicament is to ask for handouts. A handout isn't going to solve the underlying problem. She needs to get some sound financial counseling and learn to make choices appropriate to her income.

Maybe the best thing that could happen to her is to lose this opportunity to go to college as a consequence of her poor decisions. It might be just the motivation she needs to start making better choices so she can get her life sorted out. The fact that she chose to pay $750 for cell phones instead of using the money for the college opportunity she supposedly really wants seems to indicate where her priorities lie.

Gullible people see someone fighting for a dream. Sensible people see an entitled princess looking for a handout so she doesn't have to give up any of her unaffordable luxuries.

God forbid someone should ever attempt suicide - on your watch

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The issue turned some time around the haters became authoritarians and polarized on not helping those trying to help others, getting out of that situation and turning things around for herself.

The lack of empathy being shown here is appalling. Children left without parents and those who pick up the pieces are criticized on this board. Adult children try to help another person and should be burned at the stake for their choices. It is really cozy to sit in one's home at Christmas and write a check to the charity of choice, but it becomes really uncomfortable to see a particular human being help another, then ask for help for themselves.

What is the big hairy deal exactly? What does it bother you if you don't have anything other than criticism to offer? If you feel so disgusted and offended, go the bleepadebleep away. To be so bottom feeding hateful goes beyond having an opinion. It is a release of evil that you do not seem to be able to control.

While you are admonishing sound life decision, shouldn't you include compassion towards others to help round out all that sensibility?

The big hairy deal is this: - Jane

[ In Reply To ..]
It's called PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

Compassion - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
It's not a matter of compassion, really. It's a matter of taking on responsibilities that are too large for a person. That permeates this whole story -- an apartment too pricey, a friend who has mental issues that need profession help, not guidance and babysitting from a friend.

synopsis, in order of occurence - holy wow

[ In Reply To ..]
God, suicide, haters.
Burned at the stake, Christmas.
Bleepadebleep, bottom-feeding hateful, evil.
Compassion.

we are talking about - Just wondering

[ In Reply To ..]
if this could be some sort of scam? NOT saying it is, just wondering why the parents cannot pay the $200. After all, she not asking for 50K for a downpayment on a house or something truly difficult to finance. $200 bucks? Come on.

Cell phone - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
My husband pays $45 a month for a cell phone, and that's with unlimited calling and texting. I don't even own my own cell phone.

$750 is ridiculous, even for a family plan.

She would have been better off getting a new phone plan and pocketing her savings for college.

Yep, yep, yep, it's everyone's fault - xxx

[ In Reply To ..]
Listen to the language: She DESERVES it. There is a LOSER friend. How about standing up and taking some personal responsibility as in, our daughter made some bad choices (taking in this crazybrain, living in too expensive an apartment, "needing" a ell phone). Take some time out, save some money and move on, please.

sm - Nick

[ In Reply To ..]
I so agree. She is not a neurosurgeon on call who must be reached at any hour. She is a pre-college girl. I agree with you--it's about something called personal responsibility. Her daughter can choose anything from a cell phone to a Ferrari and it's none of my business. Just don't expect me to finance it!

you people - amaze me

[ In Reply To ..]
Who are you people that need to refer to others as loony tunes, codependents, welfare moms, etc. Can't you search your vocabulary for less offensive terms to have an opinion. My goodness if this is an example of the people MT industry it's no wonder the MTSOs pay you so little.

Amaze me - Nick

[ In Reply To ..]
If ever there was an example of the straw man argument (look it up) this post has got to be it.

exactly what I was thinking - mn

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

schnauzermom - AM

[ In Reply To ..]
So anyone who does not agree with your agenda is "judgmental!" My, what a convenient word-weapon. You would rather have strangers make sacrifices than have someone go into $200 debt on a credit card? Sounds to me like somebody has some screwy priorities. Like paying for the $750 cell phone bill, the dream apartment, etc. Seldom have I seen such a sense of entitlement. WOW.

No, you are not self sufficient - xx

[ In Reply To ..]
you are a financial train wreck. Bad decision after bad decision. You don't need a handout, you need some common sense. What are you going to do when the next bad decision puts you farther behind? Look for more handouts? You didn't need that expensive apartment, you wanted it. You wanted it so badly that you continued to cater to the user/loser "friend" so you could keep it. You need to face reality. You can't afford all the expensive crap you think you should have. $750 for cell phones? What are you on, the super diamond and platinum plan? You don't need expensive smartphones if you can't pay for them. Get something you can afford. You're behind on your rent, behind on your car payments, behind on everything, it seems. Handouts aren't going to help you. People will wise up sooner or later and stop the gravy train. Get some financial counseling, move to a place you can afford, sell the car you can't afford and get something cheaper, get a cheaper cellphone plan. Stop expecting everyone else to fix the problems you caused for yourself. None of this was anyone's fault but your own. Only you can fix it.

To your daughter: - Don't feel bad

[ In Reply To ..]
There are a lot of people here telling you you've made bad decisions, but I fail to see how anyone here can judge. I know I'm in a dead-end career and don't have any money myself. I only wish I had gone to college, so I wouldn't be a passenger on this sinking ship. As a transcriptionist, I know a little about bad decisions. ;)

Good luck to you, wish I could help!

by not - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
being one of those other kinds of people and being an understanding person, you have at least helped her feel better and that is just as important.

Just some feedback - xxx

[ In Reply To ..]
Dream apartment? With all due respect, when I was a student and right up until the end of grad school, I lived in furnished rooms, sometimes with the bathroom down the hall. Sometimes in shady neighborhoods. I came from a poor family and had to put myself through college. I did not own my first car until grad school and then it was not a "new" car--it was a clunker than got me to and from my job. This whole thing sounds like a soap opera. Not your fault--NOT casting blame, just saying that perhaps you would be better served to just take a year off, work, put some money aside, and let time do some healing for you. You have been through a lot. Perhaps some time to rest and reflect would help you. And no, I do not think you are a "welfare queen," but I do think you are capable of coming up with 200 bucks. Good luck!

What it sounds like - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
It does not sound like someone who has her head on straight. Far from it. It sounds like someone who makes bad choices and cannot live within her means. It sounds like someone who lives her life in a high-conflict reality TV show. Fighting with a drug-addicted roomie? Really???

I do not have $750 phone bills. I cannot IMAGINE even HOW one would ACHIEVE a $750 phone bill.

But, I can tell you this ... all your daughter has to do to get that $200 is turn off the phone.

I lived in a dorm, worked 30 hours a week, typed papers on the side, had no car and no bicycle, almost no clothes, and less food. I was so miserably hungry that people brought me dining hall scraps and I devoured them.

Your daughter needs to get her life in order. In case she doesn't know it, it is impossible to do biology with double minors in molecular biology and chemistry while living an episode of Lives in Turmoil. She should simply ask the college for deferred admission in the spring or fall, get some counseling, pay the bills, and learn to live within her means.
To

so when's the deadline? - i.e.

[ In Reply To ..]
if she misses the deadline, she will unable to use any collected donations for the purpose intended. Will she just keep it then?

I honestly - schnauzermom

[ In Reply To ..]
don't know if there is an exact deadline. Obviously the school needs a final head count so they can work on placement into the classes etc. So I imagine the sooner she can get the deposit in the better. If anyone wants to donate to King's directly please feel free. They have offered her a lot of tuition in the way of loans and grants plus she has actively pursued other grants. They are slowly digging their way out with her husband working a lot of overtime and recently getting a promotion and her boss offering her more hours, but the closer it gets to when classes start the more nervous she gets about not having the deposit in. The deposit is all on her, no help from the school in that regard.

If I were your daughter - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
I would just skip a bit on some non-essential bills and use that money for my deposit.

For example, I would pay rent, car, insurance, gas, water, electric, and food, but hold off on cable, phone, internet, credit card, and other discretionary bills until I paid the deposit to the college.

You don't know if there is an EXACT DEADLINE? - Former academic

[ In Reply To ..]
Of course there's a deadline. Academia is very well organized and I can guaranteendarntee there is a deadline. Something sounds very much off here......

is there a reason you cannot lend her the money? - nm

[ In Reply To ..]

(?) - nm

[ In Reply To ..]

OK, this is just ... - clueless

[ In Reply To ..]
so much entitlement, so little comprehension. No exact deadline? Really? Then what, exactly, do you think the word deadline means, 'cause from your response, I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Clueless - Nick

[ In Reply To ..]
Your response provoked a further thought. One of the senior partners of a law firm for which I sometimes do some scut work has a Bentley. Darn it, I think I DESERVE a Bentley, too. I am tired of using public transit. And I DESERVE a date with Julia Roberts and the cash to make it a great date. Don't you think I DESERVE it? On the other hand, how about I slave away in the court system for the next 30 years, hopefully become a partner, and if the Bentley is still important, buy it for myself? As to Julia Roberts, that ain't gonna happen, but that's not the point of the analogy. Somewhere in my heart I would like to think I DESERVE a Bentley, but that's not how I was raised.....

don't give up on Julia - we'll get you a GoFundMe page

[ In Reply To ..]
;)

Julia - Nick

[ In Reply To ..]
Oh, yes, please! (Oh, be still, my beating heart!)

Has your daughter contacted the college about - her problem?

[ In Reply To ..]
I'd be curious to know if there is anything the school could do... maybe put her on a payment plan or something.

that is an excellent idea - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I hope the daughter takes this suggestion. Otherwise, maybe we could do it for her! ;)

FYI - money management

[ In Reply To ..]
Both Suze Orman and Clark Howard have great websites and resources for debt and money management.

We've all made bad choices--otherwise we - wouldn't still be MTs!!

[ In Reply To ..]
So I don't think anyone here should judge on bad choices.

I doubt anyone here has a career that's the wave of the future...

I'd rather not wag my finger at someone while I sit here and complain about my own crappy situation (Nuance...).

The point is not that no one else has made - xx

[ In Reply To ..]
bad choices. The point is the sense of entitlement and the failure to recognize that none of this was anyone else's fault. All of the problems mentioned were the result of one bad decision after another. Their solution is not to stop making bad choices. Their solution is to ask for handouts and continue on their merry way with their $750 cell phone bills and an apartment and apparently also a car they cannot afford. One is reminded of Einstein's definition of insanity--doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Until they acknowledge that the problem is them, they will not be able to solve it.

Your point is well taken - CJ

[ In Reply To ..]
This whole fracas reminds me of another point: In this world there are two kinds of people--givers and takers.

It's clear there are very few givers - on this board. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
.

you have no idea what I or others give - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
you want us to account for our inability to donate, when we can't get the mom to account for hers? lol.

Not that I would blame mom for letting her daughter do it on her own, but please: Don't generalize about those of us who choose not to contribute.

I'm talking about the crappy attitudes--def. bitter - and NOT givers.

[ In Reply To ..]
.

mean people "stink" - nice people let them

[ In Reply To ..]

brilliant... - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
.

it is, actually - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
people love to point fingers at others. If they want to be nice, they don't have to do so.

Mean people---- - Judy

[ In Reply To ..]
I hope you don't talk like this on job interviews.

my apologies - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
we...what did she call us?...oh yeah: We old farts can hardly know what is acceptable nowadays. Since the mean people thing is a popular meme, I didn't think it would offend. My apologies. I have edited my post accordingly.

Did you lift that off a lame t-shirt? - nm.

[ In Reply To ..]
.

Wow, what intelligence! - Not amused

[ In Reply To ..]
Do you eat with that mouth?

No, not ENABLERS - the

[ In Reply To ..]
original request and subsequent attempts at further explanation and justification just reek of entitlement and general cluelessness. The OP's daughter truly does have a financial problem, but it is of her own making. Handing her money just because she asked for it will not make her life better. She can and should fix her own problems, but she will never do that if soft-headed, easily manipulated people buy into her sob story and continue to enable her. Maybe having to forego something she really wants because of her spendthrift ways will make her wake up and make some changes. Giving her handouts won't do anything but encourage her to keep spending money she doesn't have on crap she doesn't need.

I need $100 more to enroll my dog in obedience school... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
if you help me I will send you a picture of his diploma when he graduates!

Well for all this talk, she's still only at - $5....

[ In Reply To ..]
This seems to me to be virtually standing on a corner asking for spare change....not a fan. As far as this girl goes, she seems to thrive on drama and if she gets the money something else is going to pop up to spend it on.

your daughter better review the Terms of Service - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
GoFundMe specifically states:

(b) The funds you obtain through the methods on our website will be used solely for the purposes described in the materials that you post;

Now tell us: If this is a tuition down payment and your daughter cannot raise the $200 by the deadline, what's she going to do with that money?

I see that the type of account she started is one that stays "open" indefinitely - even after the goal of $200 is met. That's a little dishonest, isn't it?

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