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Alcoholic friends ... advice needed
Posted: Jan 31, 2010
I have friends (a couple) who, it is getting very obvious, are alcoholics. I don't see them for months at a time and recently met them and a few others out at a pub. - The woman, about a third into the evening, became belligerent and was bascially screaming their personal business out for a few hours and ruining the evening for the rest of us and those around us. (It's kind of complicated why I didn't leave, but too long to get into.)
Anyway, long story short, from what I have heard from others who see them more, this is a frequent occurrence now, and they are both miserable. Sure, they have some relationship issues, but the main problem now is the alcohol. It is amplifying everything and causing them to be out of control.
I am just wondering if I should contact a family member or what. I can't just turn my head, and I don't think an approach from just myself would do any good. These are good people destroying their lives.
Any advice appreciated!!
;
Alcoholic friends - BTDT
[ In Reply To ..]Brenda: As painful as it is to watch them destroy their lives, you can't make them stop drinking. You can let them know you'll be there should they decide to stop, but that's ALL you can do. Live a good life yourself, and be empathetic to their plight, but do NOT enable them by doing for them what they should do themselves. When and if they stop drinking, it has to be them that asks for help...you can't force it on them.
I've had years of living with an alcoholic spouse. I've gone to self-help groups for many years, and found peace of mind with their help.
Say a prayer for them, and then go on with your life.
BTDT
Buy a book - AA
[ In Reply To ..]The traditional approach is to wait until the early morning the next day, when they are sober, after they have embarrassed themselves, to hand them the book. Write the number of the AA central office on the inside cover and let them know there are people who will talk to them or take them to a meeting.
I would not offer to help them at this point because they may take advantage of you. Leave it to the other sober alcoholics to deal with this "gross" part of recovery.
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