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Advice needed for working at home with a toddler

Posted: Oct 16, 2013

I have a 3-1/2-year-old child, but I cannot afford daycare or preschool so she is staying home with me while I work. I feel so guilty that I cannot afford school for her and I feel even more guilty for being home all day but not really being able to interact much with her as I'm working. She has a few educational games, watches TV, colors, plays, but I feel like I'm not stimulating her mind or helping her develop the way she should. Any advice on other things I can do for her while I'm working?

;

Well... - see msg pls

[ In Reply To ..]
A tot needs your attention more than they need schooling. Is there any way you can work at night when Dad gets home, or whatever arrangement you have with the father?

She totally knows she is being ignored and 3-year-olds little brains don't understand no matter how hard you try. It's all about them needing you, and that's all they know. And they're correct, they do need you.

I hope you can find a way to spend time with her, playing, laughing, things like that.

Advice - Ayn

[ In Reply To ..]
Please don't take this the wrong way. I do not know your full situation and certainly do not mean to sound judgemental or critical. I fully appreciate that you love your child and want to do what is best for her, so I am not trying to criticize you in any way.

That said, it really is not possible for a child to teach themselves. They must have some guidance, leadership, and direction from someone - even if they are occupied with an educational game or activity. They can occupy themselves, yes, but not teach themselves or guide their own development... and there is a difference IMO.

Is it possible for you to rearrange your schedule in any way, even for part of the day? Can you work early morning before she wakes up, during nap time, or after bed? Can you do a split shift? I don't know how many hours a day you are trying to work and I would not suggest trying to do a full 8-hour shift while she is sleeping or you will just be a zombie during the time she is awake, but ANY time you can work while she is asleep equals that much time you can spend with her. Do you know anyone else with small children that you could form some sort of agreement with to trade off watching each other's kids? Is there a church or other community center, etc. that offers a mother's day out program? Sometimes, those are free in exchange for you working there once in awhile...

Do not feel guilty -- you love your child and are doing the best you can with your circumstances and she will know that - but get creative with your schedule and with daycare options and see if you can find some extra time to spend with her. You will both benefit!

If you are able to have flexible hours - sm - XXX

[ In Reply To ..]
I worked as an IC when mine were little (they were 2 and 3 when I started my first MT job...had 3 part-time IC jobs by six months in as a newbie). I basically only worked when they were sleeping, so up early if necessary, during naps, and late into the night (12-2am at times). My DH would cook dinner (not much anymore though, lol), I would feed the kids, etc. It was hard but doable. I could sometimes squeeze in an hour or two when they were up if I had them watching a disney movie maybe but generally I did not work when they were up, just not possible with two little girls running around the house. But don't feel bad, you have to do what you have to do, but if you are an employee I would either work some flex hours out/split shift or become an IC with no set hours. I have done both over the years, but prefer IC as my kids still have me hopping at 13 and 15.

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