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My faith is dead again.


Posted: Oct 31, 2010

I got divorced 4 years ago.  He has been nothing but a class A total jerk.  He has since gotten remarried and she has caused trouble also.  She is psycho to say the least.  He has become crazy, as well.  I divorced him because he had posted pornographic pics of himself on the internet and I found them.  He took them when the kids were home and could have seen the pics or gotten up in the middle of the night and seen him being perverted.  I got the kids in counseling right away because I thought things would be okay, but rough for the kids for a while.  He started taking them and not telling me when he would have them back, or he would be hours late to bring them back and ignore my calls/texts asking where they were.  He has been such a jerk!!  

About a year after the divorce, I stopped counseling for the kids because they seemed to be okay.  The psycho he married found another counselor an hour away.  My ex claimed this counselor recommended forcing the kids to stay there.  They hate the new wife and their new stepsister.  When I asked for said counselor's contact info, I never got it.  

Last year at Christmas, after talking to some counselors on my own, I told him I refused to force the kids to stay with him anymore.  He got mean (verbally and physically) in front of the kids claiming I was not going to be seeing them anymore.  I made him leave.  I got a protective order.  I assumed I would be able to get legal help.  When he tried to hit me in front of the kids, I took them to a safe house for Christmas.  My job did not understand and let me go.  They had a lawyer and made me sign an agreement (I did not agree to it, but they said they would file for full custody and I was told by other lawyers I would lose so I signed).  The "agreement" said the kids would stay with them for a week and with me for a week alternatively.  The kids STILL hate going there.  The stepsister hits them.  My son is MR and my daughter was protecting him, but the psycho wife claimed my daughter was taking her anger out on her daughter (it was the other way around) so they had me keep my daughter.  I do not have a choice other than to have her go back over there.  I have prayed so often about this situation and begged for pro bono legal help and gotten nada.  I am so disgusted and sick at heart that I STILL cannot get any help.  I have prayed so much and nothing has changed, and honestly I cannot take any more.  The ex is such a huge jerk that I hate him with all my heart.  I keep trying to tell myself to let go, let God.  Impossible.  I give up.  I no longer have any hope he will get a heart.  He has used these great kids as pawns.  He has no heart.  I have prayed that he get very sick with bad diarrhea.  He deserves a lot worse, but I don't want it to come back on me.  Why in the world do abusive dads get kids and kids have no rights????  I went to a place that supposedly was an advocate for kids and she was awful.  She could not believe I tried to keep my kids from their abusive dad.  I so wanted to spit in her face.  I have gotten no help legally or otherwise and prayers do no good.  Anyway, I guess I am just asking for prayers even though I said I know it will do no good.  Thanks for listening.

;

I meant to add something about this "counselor" - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I meant to add that in the agreement, I was made to take the kids to this counselor, who obviously does not care about the kids happiness because she just keeps saying things will be okay. Things are NOT okay, but i feel obligated by this legal document to keep taking the kids to her, even though she is no good.

I don't mean to be cruel, but you need counseling yourself - Concerned

[ In Reply To ..]
If even children's advocacy groups are saying you are in the wrong to keep them from their father, and the courts have given the father custody of the children (excuse me if I misinterpreted that part of your post, but it was difficult to follow at times), then you're missing something in the "big picture."

Since you're obviously in a depressed state with the circumstances surrounding you at this juncture, I'd strongly advise getting yourself some counseling to help you assess the situation and what legal steps you can take to make things more to your liking.

Reply to faith is dead - happyMT

[ In Reply To ..]
I will keep you in my prayers, but you need to contact an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, call one who will give you one free initial visit. Sometimes when the attorney hears a story, arrangements can be made for payment. Also, you ex may wind up having to pay. A contract is a contract, but only if it's enforced through the legal system. Splitting kids one week here and one week there is not good for them. You need an expert to tell you what rights you have and how to get them. I'm not an attory. I'm a retired paralegal who has seen attorneys do wonderful things for people who are being mistreated. I know an attorney is expensive, but your children's happiness is at stake here. Good luck to you.

sm - OP

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you all for the advice. I happened to mention to the counselor (another one) about the issues with the stepsister hitting on my kids. He said DHS will step in and no lawyer will be needed...they will be with me full time so I am going to get DHS involved ASAP.

Thanks again everyone!! Oh and I have been in counseling for all the mess the ex and new wife have caused:)

While the OPs give some good advice,I want to - address your faith issue. sm

[ In Reply To ..]
God is not at your beck and call to hurt others because you are hurt. Praying for someone to be hurt, ill, etc., isn't going to get you anywhere.

You obviously are basing your "faith" on the results you are wanting to see.

Faith is present whether or not you see what you are personally looking for. In fact, it has nothing to do with what you are wanting. It has everything to do with what He wants.

You first have to let God help you with forgiveness. Yes, you must forgive first before He will help you.

You cannot control your ex-husband no matter what you do. God won't do it either. He gives us freedom of choice. What He can and will do, if you are repentent for your own feelings, is provide strength, guidance and direction for you and your children.

He does not rescue us from our own actions. He will walk alongside us, though.

Prayers will do you all the world of good but your first sincere prayer has to be asking for forgiveness and then direction.

If you truly believe it will do no good, though - I'm afraid you are right. You must first believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who believe in Him.

divorce, etc - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
Can you somehow show that pornography to the courts or someone to prove that he did this? I would think that would give you immediate custody. What a sicko! I was married to one too but fortunately did not have children. I will pray that someone will help you immediately. I am so very sorry you are going through this. Not fair.

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