Dictation humor for the day

"The buttocks ulcer present at the time improved until about August of ’09 and then seemed to plateau, and then was slightly larger in September through August and October, and then over several visits, up through December, had become deeper from 1.9 to 1.9 cm deep between October 20 and November 17 . . . " eh? I think he needs not only a new calendar but a new ruler, too! Hahaha ...

This was too good to keep to myself: "Social history - the patient is an infant." ...

Patient was admitted with complaints of abdominal discomfort associated with nausea, but no nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea or constipation ... PERTINENT LABORATORY STUDIES: Include an electrocardiogram which appears not to have been done, and so is pending. ...

Doctor: Will discuss this plan further with the attending and team. VR: Will discuss this plan further with the attending in pain. ...

INDICATION FOR PROCEDURE: The patient is a 34 -year-old white female who had previous left salpingo-oophorectomy for a large ovarian cyst and a myomectomy of a pedunculated fibroid by Dr. John M who to have heavy periods afterwards. Dr. John M. continued to have heavy periods? ...

Doc dictates: "No history of alcohol or illiterate drugs". VR: "The pharmacist says she feels (fills) him monthly" ...

The female kept moving back and forth from one heading to another and kept mumbling the drug dosages .... the time i spent on that one single report, could have done three reports of same audio lenghts with more lines! If only dictators were penalised for less lines per audio minute! ...

actually typed it!) "The patient arrived as a trauma patient early this morning after apparently drinking to excess, crashing his car, fleeing from police at a traffic stop and accident, and then jumping approximately 30 feet from a perfectly good bridge in town." Man, why'd he have to go and ruin a perfectly good bridge? :P ...

I am about to test for a company that pays $75.00 per 60 minutesof dictation. Is that good pay? ...

I swiped this from the board a few years ago and felt it was time to bring it back - it just never gets old (especially for MT's who have doctors that strictly adhere to these guidelines - LOL!) DICTATION GUIDELINES FOR DOCTORS: Adherence to these guidelines will assure the highest quality transcribed reports in the shortest amount of time. 1. At the beginning of the dictation, take as deep a breath as you can. Now, try to dictate the entire report before you have to inhale ...

Hillbilly Medical Terms Benign..........................What you be after you be eight. Bacteria........................Back door to cafeteria. Barium.........................What doctors do when patients die. Cesarean Section..........A neighborhood in Rome. Catscan........................Searching for Kitty. Cauterize......................Made eye contact with her. Colic............................A sheep dog. Coma...........................A punctuation ...

AMA's thoughts on ObamaCare The American Medical Association has weighed in on Obama's new health care package. The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile, ...

I like how they're at least able to laugh about it!! http://www.nowthisnews.com/news/dc-mean-tweets-episode-two/ I think there's three episodes, so when one is done, just click on the tab for the next one. ...

Thought we could all use a laugh. I got this email..... The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the: United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) These mostly Southern boys will be dropped off into Afghanistan and will be given only the following facts about the Taliban and terrorists: 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don't like beer, pickups, co ...

This is funny whether you like him or not. I'll bet Obama would laugh at this. http://www.theonion.com/content/video/obamas_home_teleprompter?utm_source=videoembed ...

Because the holidays are fast approaching, I thought you could use a little chuckle. I hope you enjoy the information below. I found it to be funny but true to form. How many doctors do you work for that adhere strictly to these guidelines? DICTATION GUIDELINES FOR PHYSICIANS Adherence to these guidelines will assure the highest quality transcribed reports in the shortest amount of time. At the beginning of the dictation, take as deep a breath as you possibly can. Now, try to dictat ...

I thought this was funny about politicians - Its neutral. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40owQ7mQRok&feature=related ...

This is funny. Thought we could all use a laugh. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjNTAna0IU0&feature=g-logo ...

Thought this was cute. Humor or relaity? Think I've had these kind of conservations here. LOL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGwtG8nVpUU&feature=related ...

To lighten the mood, this guy is a crack up. I think Obama must have watched him and used the taking no questions one. LOL The whole routine about politicians is funny. http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/2vzxrg/stand-up-brian-regan--brian-regan---politics ...

1. President Donald Trump and Vice President Marco Rubio are sworn into office. 2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist healthcare farce known as Obamacare. The new Director of Health and Social Services Dr. Ben Carson announces that an independent group of healthcare management professionals is hired to handle healthcare services for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the duty o ...

Romney certainly has a lot of that sharp and scintillating legendary Republican sense of humor. Here is the very funny story Romney told today in Wisconsin. (Journal-Sentinel) "Romney’s story involved the time more than 50 years ago that his father, George, an American Motors executive, shut down a factory in Michigan and moved the work to Wisconsin. “Now later he decided to run for governor of Michigan, and so you can imagine that having closed the factory and moved all the produc ...

Dictated: The patient thinks his chest pain came from eating steak for dinner. He said, ''It was the best steak in the world.'' VR: The patient thinks his chest pain came from eating stick for dinner. He said quote it was the best dick in the world quote. I love this doctor because he always tells stories, but this was not expected in the least. ...

Saturday Night Live's version: https://www.yahoo.com/politics/hillary-clintons-expected-announcement-skewered-116210593206.html ...

"http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:video:colbertnation.com:396584 ...

Disclaimer: This post is in no way intended to suggest that this sick political humor phenomenon is confined to one side of the aisle or the other. Yes, yes, yes, democrats have had their share in this, particularly when it comes to death wishes for W. No doubt. Is that clear? However, these citations are provided in follow-up to the earlier post regarding Fox Newsâ�� latest media blitz to crank up all that phoney outrage and yes, I am going to say it, hypocrisy over NH democrats who made ...

It's one of the things I like best about him!! I am ****** and I approved this message. ...

Because we could all use a chuckle, I wanted to share this cute comment I read somewhere on the internet today: Dear Religion: While you were debating what chicken sandwiches were O.K. to eat, I just landed on Mars. Sincerely, your friend, Science. Before anyone gets too bent out of shape, lighten up....it's just meant to be humorous. I like to laugh, even if it's at myself on occasion. ...

Dictation humor for the day

The doctor's dictation is correct. - sweetgirlsmom

LOL! Ambulatory dysfunction-- ya THINK?? - maggie

Similar Messages: