Dictation & VR Bloopers

Dictated: He has a normal male circumcised phallus. VR: He is a normal male circumcised phallus. Dictated: Rectal examination is significant for prostatic enlargement. VR: Rectal examination is significant for prosthetic enlargement Dictated: Heme negative stools. VR: HEENT: negative stools. ...

I had a report today in which ASR interpreted a doctor's name as "Dr. Vagina." LMAO. His name was not even close to the word "vagina." I had one a couple of months ago I will never forget. ASR: "The patient is going to hell." Corrected: "The patient is going to Iowa." How do you get 'hell" out of Iowa? LOL. If nothing else, ASR is good for a few laughs on occasion. ...

"The buttocks ulcer present at the time improved until about August of ’09 and then seemed to plateau, and then was slightly larger in September through August and October, and then over several visits, up through December, had become deeper from 1.9 to 1.9 cm deep between October 20 and November 17 . . . " eh? I think he needs not only a new calendar but a new ruler, too! Hahaha ...

You think Sarah is funny? Get a load of these "gaffes" from our Commander in Chief! ...

These are mistakes and bloopers which were put together from medical charts. Some of these are very funny. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his ai ...

This was too good to keep to myself: "Social history - the patient is an infant." ...

Patient was admitted with complaints of abdominal discomfort associated with nausea, but no nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea or constipation ... PERTINENT LABORATORY STUDIES: Include an electrocardiogram which appears not to have been done, and so is pending. ...

Doctor: Will discuss this plan further with the attending and team. VR: Will discuss this plan further with the attending in pain. ...

LOL, Snort. These docs really know their stuff. Am I missing something here? "Denied having any cataract extraction, but does have definite right cataract extraction." Also, the above patient is "quadriplegic and has severe ambulatory dysfunction." If this doc wasn't so bad, he'd be hilarious! ...

INDICATION FOR PROCEDURE: The patient is a 34 -year-old white female who had previous left salpingo-oophorectomy for a large ovarian cyst and a myomectomy of a pedunculated fibroid by Dr. John M who to have heavy periods afterwards. Dr. John M. continued to have heavy periods? ...

The female kept moving back and forth from one heading to another and kept mumbling the drug dosages .... the time i spent on that one single report, could have done three reports of same audio lenghts with more lines! If only dictators were penalised for less lines per audio minute! ...

D: The patient had 2+ pitting edema around the ankles. T: The patient had 2 pus-spitting demons around the ankles. D: Skin cancer of the face removed with hemorrhoidectomy. D: skin ellipse T: skinny lips D: The patient is allergic to adhesive tape. T: The patient is allergic to a piece of cake. He has no difficulty getting up out of the toilet. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states that she was very hot in bed last night. The patient is a 65-year-old ...

My sister sent me an email yesterday with these. I thought you all might enjoy reading them. I told her this is stuff I get with ASR every day. I, of course, do not know if they are ASR or not, but it sure looks like a lot of stuff I get on that. Hope it gives you a smile: HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS> (Actual writings from hospital charts)> > 1. The patient refused autopsy.> > 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides> > 3. Patient has left whit ...

Tee hee. http://www.mediaite.com/online/oops-dont-tell-fox-news-theyve-got-pic-of-lesbian-couple-for-column-on-traditional-marriage-gender-roles/ ...

actually typed it!) "The patient arrived as a trauma patient early this morning after apparently drinking to excess, crashing his car, fleeing from police at a traffic stop and accident, and then jumping approximately 30 feet from a perfectly good bridge in town." Man, why'd he have to go and ruin a perfectly good bridge? :P ...

I am about to test for a company that pays $75.00 per 60 minutesof dictation. Is that good pay? ...

I swiped this from the board a few years ago and felt it was time to bring it back - it just never gets old (especially for MT's who have doctors that strictly adhere to these guidelines - LOL!) DICTATION GUIDELINES FOR DOCTORS: Adherence to these guidelines will assure the highest quality transcribed reports in the shortest amount of time. 1. At the beginning of the dictation, take as deep a breath as you can. Now, try to dictate the entire report before you have to inhale ...

Dictation & VR Bloopers

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