A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

How to deal with aloneness

Posted: Apr 15, 2011

This sounds so whiny, but I work alone at home all day, my husband is a workaholic so he is not around much, and I don't have close friends that I can just call up to chat with. I am finding myself doing unhealthy things like eating too much and drinking too much to fill up my lonely hours. I feel so weak and I hate myself for not being strong enough to pull myself out of this hole that I have let myself slide into. I probably need some counseling but my insurance won't cover it and I can't afford to pay out of pocket. Any advice for me (other than a good kick in the butt, which is probably what I need too!).

;

Reply - wileo

[ In Reply To ..]
Have you thought about adopting a pet from a shelter? A pet can make an excellent friend.

aloneness - MsRJ

[ In Reply To ..]
I have 2 dogs, and yes, they are so much company. I would truly be lost without them.

Pets vs People - MT

[ In Reply To ..]
Pets are nice, but they can't replace people. Was your husband always a workaholic, or is it something new? Try to find ways to enjoy eachother, life is very short. I try to be a person that my husband wants to come home to, and he tries to be a husband I want to come home! I wasn't always nice to come home to, depressed, whining, angry at stupid little things. He stuck by me, and I've made some serious changes in my attitude and it affected the way we are today. I don't know if that's your case, just throwing it out there. Not sure how much you're drinking, but if you're getting loopedy-looed regularly, that's no fun for the spouse.

People need people. Pets are an adjunct, not a subsitute, in my opinion.

This is what helped me - MommaTyper

[ In Reply To ..]
I moved 800 miles away from my hometown 5 years ago when I married my husband and started my first remote transcription job. It was a real shocker to be that far away from my friends and family and not have a job in a setting with other people. After 3 years of loneliness and whining to my sweet husband, we started going to a church that only has services on Sunday morning. I have made some wonderful friends and even joined one of the ladies' groups that meets once a month. It's not a lot, but it definitely gives me something to look forward to. I agree with the previous advice. Pets are nice and enough for some people. I have pets, but I need friends as well. Also, my hubby and I have date night on Wednesday night just to break up the week and get me out of the house. If you really need a kick in the butt, here ya go ~~> **kicks you in the butt** (hehe) I hope you find the answer to get you back on track :)

thanks - MsRJ

[ In Reply To ..]
Thanks to all of your for your thoughts. I think all of your ideas are good. I just need to put myself out in the world and start seeing my situation in a better light. I do have a lot to be thankful for, and the things that are not so great won't last forever. My husband is a workaholic but not by choice and we do love spending time together when we are able to. Hopefully all the hours he is putting in now will make it possible for us to have more time together in the future.

You need a sense of purpose. - sweetgirlsmom

[ In Reply To ..]
First, see a doctor. You may have a physical illness, anxiety, or depression which needs treatment.

Stop drinking. Alcohol is a depressant which makes you feel bad and robs your soul. And it costs money that you could put toward other activities that would bring you joy.

Get some exercise. I walk in place while I watch TV and have lost 30 pounds. Work out at a gym. Walk or jog in the park. Walk to nearby stores instead of driving. Be a mall walker. Take the stairs.

Look in the newspaper for churches, clubs, and community organizations. The Visitor's Center or Chamber of Commerce might have information.

Have some fun. Join a woman's club. Find an art guild for painting, drawing, sculpting. Play a musical instrument. Sing in a choir. Play sports. Take college classes. Check out the activities at the YMCA and YWCA. Attend concerts, lectures, movies, plays. Visit museums. Find a Scrabble club. Do folk dancing or square dancing. Join a book club or cooking club. Play cards and board games with neighbors. Read books. Write poetry and short stories. Go swimming, fishing, hiking, camping. Learn a new hobby or needlecraft.

Volunteer to help someone. Museums need guides. Friends of the Library. Habitat for Humanity. Homeless shelters. Food banks. Hospitals. Hospice. Zoos. Animal shelters. Invite an elderly neighbor over for tea or out to lunch. Babysit for a young mother who needs a few hours of free time.

Do you love being with children? Volunteer at schools, churches, scouting programs, sports, music, art, story time at the library.

Do you have a special skill like cooking, knitting, quilting, sewing, or artwork that you could teach to young mothers in your church or neighborhood? Ask an older lady to teach you something?

Find something you and your husband can do together on a regular basis that both of you will enjoy. And have a specific activity planned to fill the hours when he is away.

There are so many things to do in this world it amazes me that anyone has time to work. The way to banish loneliness is to fill your life with worthwhile activities. Right now you are staying home and just existing. You need to get out of the house and start living. Find an activity that you enjoy and set a goal to accomplish something. When you do that, you will meet other people and make friends. Being with friends and family will nourish your soul and make life rewarding.

Just wanted to say that your post is awesome! - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

Thanks so much. You're very kind to say so. - sweetgirlsmom

[ In Reply To ..]
There have been some rough times when I was hurting beyond pain and struggled to hold on. I learned to create purpose to keep going and to find beauty to make going on worthwhile. The more good I added, the less room there was for bad.

Similar Messages:

Aug 22, 2010
I've posted about my dad on here a few weeks ago, how he steals and is a not so great person and nobody wants to be around him or anything cause of the way he is...Well me and my mom were looking through some of my old jewelry from high school. Not really worth much of anything. Well I got out my box with my grandma's class ring and a necklace her brother brought back from world war II for her. The ring was gone and so was the necklace. I have waited since I was ...

Aug 20, 2015
That's the headline on the latest Time Magazine cover accompanied by The Donald's picture. I love it!!!! ...

Nov 12, 2009
everyday these issues bother me: Abusers, neglect, perverts, laziness, gluttony, selfishness, liers, rudeness, bitchiness, uncaring. Cannot read headlines, what people do to their kids and pets. I wish for elimination of sickos. I have trouble sitting here working all day knowing what goes on. Haven't watched the news for months. I feel like I'm fading away. ...

Dec 31, 2009
I think they should look into it. They make some good points. Why should all of us pay while one state will be exempt? GOP AGs may sue over health bill Alex Isenstadt Alex Isenstadt – Thu Dec 24, 5:57 am ET On the eve of an historic Senate health care reform vote, more than half of the Republican state attorneys general have organized to provide a legal analysis of the constitutionality of a controversial provision in the Senate bill and to explore potent ...

Jan 26, 2010
I have been dating my BF for about a month and a half. He's stayed at my place a few times. This weekend for the first time I stayed at his place and it was a disaster! He has dogs, I knew this. He always has fur on his clothes... I am not a big fan of pets, especially untrained, bad pets and his dogs jumped all over me, were all over the furniture, begged for food, BUT when we went to sleep, THEY GOT IN BED WITH US! IN BETWEEN US! He knew I wa ...

Apr 21, 2011
See article. ...

Oct 14, 2013
Where was all the screaming by him and other republicans when it came to spending billions and billions on a fake war and then tons of billions more to 'rebuild' what WE broke? If memory serves, they were chomping at the bit to spend THESE $$ (with democrat's help) but now their fiscal conscience has somehow taken hold? By their playbook war is a GREAT use of your taxdollar, but spending $$ on infrastructure and the PEOPLE of this contry are not. And if progressives think ...

May 18, 2017
and will find a way to quit but claim victory. I have to agree with him. ...

Dec 16, 2009
The White House is encouraging Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) to cut a deal with Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.), which would mean eliminating the proposed Medicare expansion in the health reform bill, according to an official close to the negotiations. But Reid is described as so frustrated with Lieberman that he is not ready to sacrifice a key element of the health care bill, and first wants to see the Congressional Budget Office cost analysis of the Medicare buy-in. The analysis i ...

Feb 15, 2010
Link below. ...

Aug 01, 2011
THE WHITE HOUSE Office of the Press Secretary FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE July 31, 2011 BIPARTISAN DEBT DEAL: A WIN FOR THE ECONOMY AND BUDGET DISCIPLINE The debt deal announced today is a victory for bipartisan compromise, for the economy and for the American people. The agreement: · Removes the cloud of uncertainty over our economy at this critical time, by ensuring that no one will be able to use the threat of the nation’s first default now, or in only a f ...

Jul 16, 2011
How would you deal with a neighbor in a townhouse semidetached type neighborhood who has no regard for anyone at all and they just take over everything. They burn a firepit every night with skids which they shouldnt be and smoke goes in everyones house and ashes all over the cars. They used to have their dog out in other yards and the kids just everywhere doing whatever. They live like they own everything around them. We did put up a fence and that helped some of this but ...

Nov 30, 2013
This boat's sinking fast. My teen is completely rude and disrespectful to me, my husband, and anyone else who dares to enforce rules. Consequences mean nothing to him. Cut off his cell phone, he'll just use his buddy's. Take away his bike, he'll walk. Ground him, he'll laugh in our faces and take off with his buddies anyway. The parenting books don't cover anything close to behavior like this. Our friends' children don& ...

Jan 25, 2014
To all the libs dancing with glee from the post below this, better check both sides of the issue before you continue on. ...

Mar 30, 2015
nm ...

Jun 06, 2015
Father-in-law moved into our tiny house after he retired. I feel like I want to run away. I feel guilty for feeling this way. ...

Sep 03, 2015
Devil (Iran) is good for the U.S.? I keep thinking I must be missing something if so many Democrats could vote for it and say it's a good deal. I just don't get it. Please, someone explain, and I am totally serious. ...

Jan 12, 2010
You know that old saying that every time you pluck a gray hair, 2 more grow in? Well, now that I've passed 40, I have the pleasure of chin hair - something I never had before. Good grief. Black ones too. Not those really fine white hairs. And I swear - for every one I pluck, 5 more grow in. My MIL says she shaves every day. My SIL and I pluck. However, I worked with a girl who used to work for a derm doc and she swears that laser tre ...

Jan 28, 2010
EARTH TO BUSH DEFENDERS!! Apparently people have incredibly short memories. When the BUSH/CHENEY war machine 'walked in the door' they did so with BLUEPRINTS of how they start wars that most definitely were manufactured - and they used this to enable them to dismantle the CONSTITUTION. We won't even get started on what they did to enviromental issues, the economy etc., and the energy policy... Clinton was no saint. But we stopped breathing easy th ...

Oct 23, 2012
1. There was only one "presidential" personality on the stage last night. 2. I became convinced that Romney is the one who can work across the aisle and get things done. 3. Obama continued to refuse to own up to any of his obvious economic and foreign policy blunders. Instead he was arrogant and snarky. 4. The keys to an effective foreign policy are exactly what Romney identified: a strong economy and a strong military. 5. All that Obama could offer ...

Jul 13, 2016
When you scrape the "take-from-the-rich" shine off of Sanders, you find exactly what most of us had already known he was - just another back-room cigar-smoking deal-cutting silver-plate scratch-my-back politician. Obviously, he meant none of the things he said about Clinton during the primaries. "She's better than Trump" isn't a reason for his endorsement. At best, it's an excuse and at worst it signals that - as Obama did with Clinton in 2008 - a deal was made. Hope ...

Jan 12, 2014
Iran nuclear deal takes big step forward. ...

Feb 02, 2017
Obama White House, the Trump administration went on record Wednesday to accuse Iran of being in violation of the landmark nuclear agreement as a result of its recent test of ballistic missile technology, according to a senior White House official, who said that Iran has officially been put "on notice." Retired Gen. Michael Flynn, President Donald Trump's national security adviser, accused Iran of breaching international accords governing the nuclear agreement. He lashed out at the Islami ...

Jun 05, 2014
Charles Krauthammer says he supports President Barack Obama’s deal to bring Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl home. “Had the choice been mine I would have made the same choice,” Krauthammer told Fox News’ “Special Report” on Wednesday. “It’s a difficult decision, and I would not attack those who have done otherwise.” Krauthammer said those in the West “put a value on the individual human life the way that the ones at the other end of ...

Apr 09, 2015
. ...

Jul 14, 2015
Freezes Iranian nuclear program for 10+ years Rolls back uranium enrichment to few centrifuges. 1. In terms of enforcement there is access to international inspectors. 2. If Iran is found to not be in compliance, sanctions can rebegin. Iran leader under immense domestic pressure. Unemployment, oil prices down, inflation. No hope amongst the youth for development and future in their country with the sanctions in place. IMO, the repairs to the economy and reestab ...

Jun 13, 2017
to thwart terrorist financing operations. As Obama pressed ahead with the Iran deal, those operations lost funding and were “systematically disbanded,” according to former U.S. State Department official Dr. David Asher. Asher’s stunning testimony before the House Foreign Affairs Committee last Thursday was ignored by the MSM. Now the biggest sponsor of terrorism in the world is on the brink of a nuclear weapon thanks to Obama. ...

Dec 06, 2011
Ok, I'm a Christian. I'm not saying I'm perfect, quite the opposite. That being said, I am ok with "Happy Holidays" at this time of year. Why? Because we're in the season where there are several holidays!!!! I'm not offended if someone says that to me, matter of fact, I'm pleased because they said something nice. I was reading on Facebook the other day a "Don't take Christ out of Christmas" post from a Christian friend of mine and it sounded so dark a ...

Dec 23, 2009
COLUMBIA, S.C. - The top prosecutors in seven states are probing the constitutionality of a political deal that cut a funding break for Nebraska in order to pass a federal health care reform bill, South Carolina's attorney general said Tuesday. Attorney General Henry McMaster said he and his counterparts in Alabama, Colorado, Michigan, North Dakota, Texas and Washington state — all Republicans — are jointly taking a look at the deal they've dubbed the "Nebraska compromise. ...

Dec 31, 2012
In politics, nothing is simple or as it seems. This description of what's going on may be accurate, but it'll be only part of it anyway. From The Economist, 12/20/2012 (not much has changed since then, except we now know no deal was reached in 2012): ...Or will both sides allow the country to sail over the fiscal cliff, with Mr Obama hoping the public continues to blame Republicans for the failure of negotiations, while Mr Boehner hopes that the passage of Plan B allows him to ...