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How do you deal with it when you believe your dad...


Posted: Aug 22, 2010

I've posted about my dad on here a few weeks ago, how he steals and is a not so great person and nobody wants to be around him or anything cause of the way he is...Well me and my mom were looking through some of my old jewelry from high school.  Not really worth much of anything.  Well I got out my box with my grandma's class ring and a necklace her brother brought back from world war II for her.  The ring was gone and so was the necklace.  I have waited since I was a little girl for my grandmas class ring.  She graduated in the 1930s and ever since I was little I would go look at it in her little box and say grandma can I please have this.  She would say one day honey.  Well right before she died she told me that her ring was in the little box on her dresser and she said its yours when I go.  It meant a lot to me.  So did the necklace her brother had given her from world war II.  Well they both are gone.   I have a hunch my dad stole them while I was gone.  I always would leave the door unlocked because I have a big ole pit bull who is my baby but he won't let anyone in the house when we're not home EXCEPT a few select people.  One being my dad.  The other my mother (who is no longer married to my dad).  ABout the only other people are the friends of mine I got him from as a pup.  He remembers them anytime they come and he loves them to death.  Those friends would not have taken it.  They are true to the core people.  My mom would die before she would take something like that.  Their is one person who I have a hunch took it.  When I told my husband he said well you know who had to have taken it.  When I told my mom she said do you think your daddy took it.  She said I wouldn't put it past him.  I am devastated as I loved that ring and necklace but especially the ring.  It was sentimental to me.  I had some other rings missing too but I wasn't worried about those, but this ring can't be replaced. 

I just had to vent.  I am so upset over that ring.  I am trying to cut my dad out of my life but he will bug you to death.  My husband has also caught him by the way about to go in our house when we he thought we were gone (the car and truck was gone).  I was gone but my husband was there.  His brother had used his truck.  He was out in the backyard and happened to see him about to go inside and he said when he saw my husband he acted funny and turned around and said he was coming in to see me.  It was very noticable my car wasn't home.  He knew I was gone.  

Needless to say I will be locking my door from now on with a dog or not.  I live out in the country and especially with the dog I just knew nobody would dare come in.  He will snarl at the window by the door.  Nobody wasn't coming in there except select few that he knew very well. 

Just had to vent about this as I am so upset about the ring. 

;

Ring - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
I would straight up come out and ask him, did you take my ring? Good luck. I don't have any relationship with my father at all, but a totally different situation than yours. I would ask him and give him the chance to admit it. Good luck. I hope by some miracle your ring "shows" up.

My ex-husband did the same thing to me only - Backwards Typist

[ In Reply To ..]
it was my uncle's silk jacket from WWII and his ruby ring, my diamond engagement ring from DH (long story there).

I confronted my ex (we were still married then) at his girlfriend's house. Lo and behold, she was wearing the ruby ring and my uncle's jacket was on the chair. My ex was hiding in the bedroom. I broke his girlfriend's finger getting the ring back. Never did get the diamond ring back.

Since you are trying to get you dad out of your life, I wouldn't think twice about confronting him (unless he's a violent person). It just may stop him from ever coming around again.

If anything else is stolen - Searching

[ In Reply To ..]
If anything else turns up stolen, I would call the police, file a report, and I would also tell them of my suspicions and turn over ANY evidence if you have it. Seriously. It's the only way to possibly put a stop to it, and it already sounds like this behavior of his has strained your relationship to the max (your saying that you would cut all ties with him....).

actually as of today I have put a block on his number on my phone.. - anonymouse...

[ In Reply To ..]
Because last night he decided he wanted me to take him to his girlfriends house and I had been gone all day going to the grocery store and going to the hospital an hour away to visit my newborn niece. Then come home and mowed my backyard and I was so beat. I was laid up on the couch and he kept calling and calling. Finally I answered and he wanted a ride to the girlfriends house and when I said no I'm not going anywhere else this evening it was well why can't you just take me. Wanted me to wait outside in the car while he went in and visited. I said oh whatever, I don't think so. I said look I'm not going anywhere... Then he started crying and saying PLEASE TAKE ME and just freaking out and I hung up to which he called right back and continued to call and call until I turned the phone OFF. Today when he started again with the constant calling I blocked his number. If he can't behave like an adult I don't want him calling me. He KNOWS if someone keeps calling me every few mintutes that it makes me so mad and I have told him multiple times DO NOT DO IT. I even changed my number one time and didn't give it to him for a while. Then one day when he promised he would not call like that anymore I gave it to him. Mistake...he is now doing it again. So he is blocked and I do not answer the door either anymore. I don't need that drama in my life. He wants to act like the kid and me the adult. I don't need that. I've had enough. Done.

I'd report it to the police and also go to any local - sm - ECMT

[ In Reply To ..]
pawn shops as that is probably where it ended up. I'd change the locks too, he may have a set of keys you do not know about as well. AND, tell him you know he took the jewelry and you want it back pronto or you are reporting the theft to the police (I'd do that anyway).

I was thinking about going to the pawn shops... - anonymouse

[ In Reply To ..]
Hopefully I could find it. Thing is, I don't know how long it's been missing cause I kept it in the box and never fooled with it but maybe once a year just got it out to look at it and all. Just remembering my grandma, etc.

Missing Ring - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
This is so sad. There is tremendous sentimental value attached. To add to the hurt, you must deal with the fact that you highly suspect your father. I think I would have to ask him, although I know that would be difficult. My grandmother always told me I could have an old table lamp that had a glass shade with a "reverse painting." That's what the antique dealer called it. Anyway, my grandmother died in 1970, and sure enough my dad gave me the lamp. I was staying with my mother at the time and had my things in storage. The day the guys came to deliver my belongings to my apartment I kept looking for the lamp. The last item they brought in was a heavy bag, and I could hear broken glass as he came in the house. He said they backed the truck over the lamp in the storage area and broke it. They paid me for it after I had an appraisal, but to this day it hurts. I should have never, ever put the lamp with the other items in storage. I feel bad for you. Good luck.

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