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Why in the world is it people always want to

Posted: Dec 16, 2015

I realize that's a question with a wide range of answers possible.

This town seems to have a lot of ghetto-y, trashy type people who always want to settle any type of dispute, no matter how minor, by fighting. Offering someone to "square up" and beat the crap out of them.

That's really going to prove or accomplish something? Seems to me all it proves or accomplishes is that people are too ignorant or lazy to discuss facts in a reasonable manner, much easier to challenge someone to a fight and then call them a coward for refusing to fight. And as always, the filthy gutter language brought out, I can only assume to show how tough someone is? Women, as well as men, with the women seeming to be worse with the filthy mouth, and seem proud of it.

Seems like it's some sort of badge of honor around here to be put in jail for assault, people seem to be proud of fighting and the losers always have threats of retaliation. These the same people who call for an end to violence in the town and "something" needs to be done.

I'm wondering if it's also a cultural thing; this town has a very large hispanic and Italian heritage population, wondering if that has something to do with it. I've been told several times over various issues that people around here "don't squeal" and they "handle it themselves."

I'm not being racist or hateful toward any ethnic group. Simply stating a fact and asking an honest question.

I really don't get it. Maybe because I was raised with morals and decency and am intelligent enough to discuss things instead of throwing a punch to solve a problem.

;

Very Good Question - see msg

[ In Reply To ..]
I don't have an answer for you. I used to live near a neighborhood where there were "turf" issues. Excuse me, a public sidewalk is nobody's "turf."

People are sensitive on this board, and you'll probably get slammed for actually mentioning an ethnic group, so I would keep that part out of it.

I think the people who fight like that on a regular basis are ignorant slobs. I guess they were taught that by their parents, or perhaps they were ignored/neglected by their parents and learned on the streets.

It is pretty ridiculous and almost primal/animalistic. Jungle animals do that, but jungle animals are supposed to do that, not human beings. We are supposed to have a higher level of mental functioning, but a lot don't.

Why people fight - Nick

[ In Reply To ..]
Well, I am certainly not a shrink, was not even a psych major for my pre-law school education, but I have done a lot of work with the homeless and people whose backgrounds and circumstances are a lot less fortunate than many of us on this board, so I will hazard a guess. I think some of it has to do with education. Some of it may have to do with what the fighters have seen modeled for them by their own families and associates. I would be really careful about ascribing certain tendencies to specific ethnic groups. That can be dicey politically, but, political correctless aside, it is just inaccurate. I know people from the "ghetto" who are violent and would stab you for a pack of cigarettes. (Because of these kinds of people the Public Defenders are overloaded.) I know many more folks from the ghetto who are decent, upstanding, kind people who just did not have a chance. Here is an example that actually happened a few years ago and has stayed with me. There is a church a particularly rough 'hood in our city. The janitors for the church at the time were a man and his wife. They did a wonderful job, were loved by everybody. They did not speak much English, as they came (legally) from Mexico. They had a son who was in high school. He had learned to speak English and was, in fact, an honor student. He was always polite and kind with everyone. He was in this extremely bad neighborhood shopping or visiting friends or something like that one evening. (Ironically enough, I, too, was in this neighborhood when the incident happened--only I was attending a meeting two blocks away from the bus stop where the incident happened.) I heard the sirens. The young Mexican man had been standing at the bus stop, just waiting for the bus, when some other young men from a neighborhood gang came by with handguns and opened fire at the people standing at the bus stop. It came out later that they were trying to hit a member of a rival gang who was also waiting for the bus. The nice young man was hit and killed instantly. Everybody who knew the family took up a collection so the parents could bury their son properly. He was 16. I tell this story because we had people of the same ethnicity--some were killers and one who was a decent young guy who wound up dead for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It would be interesting to ask the question of violence to a psychiatrist. I do not think there is a simple answer, but that several factors play into it. Many times people who do stupid things that get themselves into trouble with the law tell me as we are preparing for trial that they did it because they felt "powerless." It is interesting how many people feel disenfranchised--the elderly, the disabled, those struggling to pay their bills. I was involved with a law firm last year that helped find and prosecute people who allowed racist notes to be placed on the front door of an African American man's home. Why would people do something like that? The man got the police involved, guilty parties were apprehended, and victim got a small settlement. But he also moved because he was afraid to live where he had been living. Again, what makes people do these cruel things? I can understand why people sometimes steal. If I have ten sandwiches and you are hungry and I refuse to share, I can understand why you might reach out and take two or three of my sandwiches. (And for those who have religious considerations about it, I think God understands, too.) I am not advocating stealing, of course, but I see the logic that would drive someone to steal a sandwich if he were hungry and no one would help him. But to just fight to settle something? Not sure. As we used to say in algebra, too many unknowns to solve the equation. It is sad that we have evolved this far as a civilization and yet cannot behave a little differently. Because of the lack of a balance of power for people had a lot to do with why I decided on civil rights law rather than seeking, say, a Wall Street career. (In fact, my day today has been really happy because that CEO of the company that raised the price of an AIDS drug by 5000% just because he could got arrested for securities fraud. I am sure he does not live in the "ghetto," but to my mind, he is one of the biggest criminals on the planet. Of course, he will get some white shoe law firm to defend him; the price will be no object. I still hope he goes to prison.) And I hope we can as a civilization, find ways to find alternatives to fighting.......

Nick:To you and off topic. - SmileyChica

[ In Reply To ..]
I really enjoy when you come to Stars and write. I am middle age, have been an MT for many decades, and get tired of the snipping back and forth on here. Warms my heart that an obviously thoughtful young person with drive and a dream decide to share their ideas/experiences in such an objective way.

I will miss your musings when you or I or both of us decide to finish up our careers here and move on. You made me smile that there are still young people who care.

Thanks, and Happy Holidays to you and your family.

SmileyChica - Nick

[ In Reply To ..]
Well, thank you, ma'am. Actually, I am probably not as young as you might think. I am nearly 40! People thought I was crazy to go to law school at this age, but I did it for two reasons: 1. I am truly concerned by what is happening in the MT world and how many MTs are being exploited and 2. I have always been an activist for civil rights issues. You know, that belief that no one is free unless all are free. (I think I might have fit in better in Berkeley in the Sixties than in Chicago now, but who knows?) Anyway, I appreciate people tolerating me and putting up with my weird sense of things. Merry Christmas!

Here's my take on the subject--- - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
You can always break the cycle of how you were raised. I lean more on we all have "choices". It's a choice to go out and kill. It's a choice to fight. It's a choice to steal and so forth. It's plain and simple, it's called sin. It's been around from the beginning of time. It's a lack of self-control, a sense of selfishness, a sense of entitlement, the "I can do what I want" mentally which equates to PRIDE, the root of most sin. Man hasn't changed throughout the years. People have used fighting to "resolve" issues forever. It doesn't matter what color you are, whether you're poor or rich, whether you had good parents, bad parents, or no parents. It's a choice to sin and that's what they're doing. We see it all around us and the consequences of sin everyday.

Exactly what I was thinking - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Thankfully, Jesus came and died for all in this hurting world to break the power of sin and death. None of us can do it on our own, but we don't have to. Merry Christmas!!!

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