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Does anyone else have the ability to read people....
Posted: Dec 28, 2014
I have the uncanny ability to read people. I have in laws who I know do not like me but pretend they do and all the while are sneaky and conniving behind my back. They let their true feelings sneak out on facebook subtly. You know never liking anything you post but they like other family members. Making subtle snide remarks. You can just feel it. But my husband says I am imagining it. The main one is his twin brother. He is so conniving and sneaky and my other sis in law even has told me she knows it also and her husband has admitted he knows his brother is conniving and does subtle things just to get to me and then acts like he is innocent. The whole family sticks together like glue too. Wrong or right they defend each other. I'm not that way. I go for who is right, not who is related to me. If my family is wrong, they are wrong. I dunno. Am I the only person who has this situation where you 'know' they do not like you and you see the subtle things they do? I am good at reading people. I've been right many times.
;
My advice is to...SM - Old Anon
[ In Reply To ..]ignore the subtle signs that they don't like you. Stay off Facebook, DO NOT go there; better still "unfriend" the offending posters. If they ask why, tell them you are spending way too much time there and need that time to do other things like work, household chores, and spending time with your immediate family. How could they argue with that? At the same time, treat them with as much kindness as you can muster, and don't get involved with petty squabbles. I think once they know they can't get to you (which may take a while), they may stop their behavior; maybe not, but you will have much more peace without the drama.
Sounds like a good plan... - sm
[ In Reply To ..]They say silence is golden. Maybe ignoring them will take the fun out of doing things to get to me. What would happen is the twin brother who lives next door would do sneaky things. I was planting flowers last spring. I left my shovel out there where I was planting and was gonna finish the next day. It was gone the next day. I asked him if he had seen it. No he said. My husband asked him if he had seen it. Nope. A few months later I am walking my dog who got away from me and was trying to get underneath twin brothers shed next door so I get down on my knees to grab my little dog and there is the handle of my shovel underneath the shed obviously hidden. I said hmm, strange. So I mention to my husband and he kind of blows it off. Well I tell him to go take a look and he will see the shovel. He never would comment so I let it go. Then later my husband asks him. Did you take that shovel? He says no, she gave me that shovel to dig a hole to bury CJ (my dog who passed). I said Really?? That's funny cause CJ died in last December and I was planting flowers in May when the shovel disappeared. How you figure that? My husband of course takes up for him. That is only one small bit of the sneakiness I deal with from the just the twin brother. And he acts so innocent to my husband.
Now granted a shovel really is not a big deal. It was the principle. I know what he was doing.
Word of advice: NEVER marry a twin...!!
honey, your problem want marrying a twin - clyde
[ In Reply To ..]It was living next door to the twin. You need to move and stop rehashing things that happened so long ago. If you let things go, it's likely they will too. I know you don't want to hear this, but it is very unlikely that this behavior you talk about is one-sided. After all, you've come into a public chatroom to air your dirty laundry, and you didn't mention that your sister in law has any of the same issues you say you have. Some families take a long time to feel a part of. My advice? Move. Stay off Facebook. Stop trash talking them, even to your husband and best friends, and you will eventually have peace. If they don't like you, so what? Your husband chose you and that's what matters. I do believe that what you're "reading" about them is either a reflection of what you're doing to them, or what your doing to them is a reflection of what they're doing to you. Stop being a part of it.
And, yes, I'm very good at reading people.
Actually, the sis in law has worse issues than me... - sm
[ In Reply To ..]with them. She is not even on speaking terms with any of them period. I won't go into her issues with them, but let's just say I am not alone in this situation. However, I do try to be nice to them. She flat out refuses to be around them or go to any family gatherings.
And you are right... - sm
[ In Reply To ..]My problem was not marrying a twin...As you say, it was living next door. No worries. This is not a permanent place we are going to live though.
Thats gotta suck having twin brother living next door. - No privacy and hard to avoid.
[ In Reply To ..]and let me guess, you each own your homes so the likelihood of moving is not too great?? Good luck with that one.
My in-laws are the same way, but I do a pretty good job of avoiding them. - sm
[ In Reply To ..]Luckily I dont have to deal with them very often and avoid their gatherings like the plague. I dont have a Facebook and dont want one. I am always cordial when I do have to deal with them, but I dont go out of my way to visit, call or text.
Doing the same from now on... - sm
[ In Reply To ..]I have decided to avoid them, Keep my distance, don't interact on facebook. Not going to confide in my husband about anything they or his 'twin' does. He won't listen anyway so why bother? Maybe they will get bored and direct their toxicity to someone else.
Oh and yes we do plan to put our home up for sale next year after my son graduates from high school and move. Even my husband doesn't think it is a good idea to live next door.
Glad to hear, I bet next year cant come quick enough. - nm
[ In Reply To ..]
I usually do a pretty good job of that, though - I have to admit that once in - sm
[ In Reply To ..]a while my gut is totally WRONG. When I'm wrong, it's more often with thinking someone is being truthful with me, when in fact they aren't.
There's currently a woman in my circle of friends and acquaintances that I know doesn't really like me. She TOLERATES me, but she doesn't like me. However, she's always civil to me, so I am polite towards her, as well.
I can't waste too much time and energy worrying about who doesn't like me. I do the best I can, like people who like me back, and try to tolerate people who merely "tolerate" me. ;)
I am generally pretty observant about people--sm - anon
[ In Reply To ..]and I think I have a reasonably good handle on what their feelings towards me might be but I am also not a mind-reader, so I think it is impossible to know for certain, even though my hunches are likely correct.
Even with what I feel I might know, I do not have time for the petty, junior high stuff. There are some people who are worth my time and effort and others who are not and I choose carefully who gets it.
I agree ... - sm
[ In Reply To ..]They are not worth my time. I ignore them now. Haven't interacted on facebook either. Haven't interacted with the twin brother unless he comes to my house which he has been doing frequently to see husband. I just speak if spoken to and go about my business. Oh he had a snide remark to say but I just ignored him. Husband heard him. He'll get bored with it eventually when he doesn't get a reaction out of me. Silence is golden.
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