A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

DATING AT 50+

Posted: Feb 28, 2011

I have been on my own, divorced, for almost 20 years. In the beginning I went on a couple of dates, but decided I was better off raising my kids and being alone. My marriage was bad, he cheated, lied, cheated, hardly spent quality time with my kids, and oh yeah, he cheated... often.

Anyway. Kids have grown up, gone on their way and moved out of state. I have family close by, but for the most part am on my own with a few single friends and a few married friends. I decided it was time to "put myself out there" several months ago and have gone a couple of "group dates" with friends in a safe kind of environment, feeling out potential boyfriends or dates.

I was introduced to a nice man and we've met on a couple of occasions, always in a public setting. We finally went on a real date and I've got to say, I am, well, I'm not happy!

We went to see a foreign film at a film cafe then went to dinner. That was fun and if I had to rate it at that point, it would have been an 8+. It was afterwards that I kind of went into "what's happening here" mode. After dinner, we walked across the street to a little bar and after HE had a few drinks, he says "so are we gonna take this to your place or mine"?

me: what?

him: we going to your place or mine? you know, to wind this up? I've got to get up early.

me: um, neither. If you have to get up early, I guess we call it a night.

him: WTH? Aren't we getting along? I was having fun, I though you were having fun.

me: yeah, this was fun...

him: well? me: well what?

him: forget it. I can't believe you'd play games like this, at our age.

Me: don't be shy, say what's on your mind.

him: are you going to sleep with me or not?

me: no... I don't know you and I'm not in the habit of going to dinner with someone and rewarding them with sex...

him: later... I'm outta here.

me: okay. um, bye...

REALLY??? Is this how it's done now? You go to dinner, get along famously then SWOOSH, off to the bedroom??? What has happened to romance? to getting to know someone regardless of age? Is this what it's become? I'd like to hear from ladies who are actively dating. I don't think it's because I've been "out of commission" for that long, I mean I didn't hide in a closet for these past years, just didn't make a committment to any one person. I want to find a nice partner, not a "buddy"! Sheesh... Talk about disappointing. I told my friends and they were kind of surprised that he acted like that, defended him saying that he's normally not like that. Whatever.

;

LOL... I just don't have the intestinal fortitude for - that any longer. Being alone is SO preferable! ;)

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

Dating after 50.. - cr

[ In Reply To ..]
It seems to me that older men are after the same thing as younger men, especially with Viagra now to give them the boost they wouldn't have naturally. Then you got the pot belly, yellowed toenails and farts to deal with. Actually, I do think there is a perfect mate out there for you, as long as you don't get caught up in the same trap as before.

LOL! I wonder how many million 50+ women groaned - collectively when Viagra was invented!?

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

At 50+, no way would I show this body, naked, to a - stranger. (makes me shuddr for the stranger) nm

[ In Reply To ..]
x

re: ladies posting on this thread - out there

[ In Reply To ..]
I can't believe that the majority of the posters are not dating! 50 is middle aged and who cares how your body looks! An intelligent, mature man knows what a 50 year old woman's body looks like! (at this age many are not into physical fitness also you know, and apparently have no interest in Rogaine!)

OP: It's just like dating in the past, you get those after one thing, act like an octopus, and then others who are just a complete pleasure to be around. This guy was obviously a JERK and if it was me, I would have paid for half of the evening and told him where to go and how to get there!

Don't let one bad apple ruin dating for you! Continue to put yourself out there and don't be afraid. You may yet find the love of your life and wouldn't that be worth it?

Write that dim wit off! Don't give him a second thought. You're still very young!

I am 52 and I date regularly. I have had my share of the Viagra users, the jerks, the nice guys, the emotional guys, the middle aged crazy guys, but I'm not giving up on love. I am worth another chance. I also had a jerk ex husband, like yours. I stayed single, raised the kids, sent them off to college and now it's my second chance.

It is never too late. You keep fishing gal!

I threw in the towel at age 42. I'm now 60, and - never once missed it, not even for a minute. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
XXX

re: threw in towel - 56

[ In Reply To ..]
Do you go out with friends at all? why did you give up? It sounds lonely. I divorced when I was 33, "gave up" back then and was bitter and angry for years. I started dating, also after my kids moved, but had the mindset that I was never going to get serious about anyone ever again.

well, I fell in love at 49. We've been seeing each other since. I think what makes it work is that we are older, we both have jobs, lives outside of each other and our own homes! There is no question of committment to each other and I suppose eventually we will consolidate homes or sell both and buy one. In the meantime, he is a gem and I can't believe my luck.

I thought I didn't miss dating or love for a long time too. Turns out I was dead wrong!

Go out with friends? Yes. Want intimacy? Nah, - not really. My attention span is too short.

[ In Reply To ..]

If I want intimacy, my best partner is at the end of my arm. - nm Nuff said.

[ In Reply To ..]
s

ROTFLMAO !!!!!! - thanks for the giggle this morning

[ In Reply To ..]

re: nuff - nr

[ In Reply To ..]
nice. what is intimate about that? seriously...

It is $ex with someone I love. Cant get more intimate than - that. Plus, I am by myself, thus intimate. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
x

Online dating - wileo

[ In Reply To ..]
I realize this is not for everybody, but have you thought of trying to meet someone online? You can get to know them that way to see if and when you want to meet them.

on line dating - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
My advice is be very very careful about on line dating. There are some serious issues and pathologics that troll those boards. My ex, who sounds just like the original poster, is on about 10 dating sites, and I have to say if I didn't know better, I would be very impressed by what he wrote, it is all BS! They can pretend to be anyone on line. There is actually a site called "Exposing on line predators and cyberpaths" check it out. I know some have had success, but I also know quite a few horror stories.

On-Line My Experience - Anun

[ In Reply To ..]
I tried all 3 major sites in my mid 40s, and still look from time to time. I have been checking all these years, and I still find the same guys in my age group up there, I think their goal must be to just hook up.

I started talking to a guy on one of these sites about 10 years ago. He started sending me pics of him sitting on a Corvette. I thought he sounded nice, and looked okay, I am not that much of a material girl, for real. Before I ever agreed to meet him, I had mentioned to him on the phone that I had to go to laundromat, which was the truth. The next thing I know, he is calling me up, saying he is at Lowe's and looking and washers and dryers, can get me both. I say, I don't even know you, I am not comfortable with that, but I agreed to meet him at a local restaurant the next Sunday.

I pull up to the restaurant and see the car there. Once I park my car, he gets out, and he ain't exactly spina bifida, but he is very, very, crippled. I mean, he could have given me a heads-up, "I am a little arthritic, etc". He could barely walk. I was so shocked, but I went in and had dinner with him. He was very sweet, but good lawd, I might have wanted to get to know him had he been up front, I was so shocked I could barely hold my poker face.

dating after 50+ - Marly

[ In Reply To ..]
Don't feel like the Lone Ranger. I was widowed in 2009 at age 53. I've now experienced Dates From Hell, Boring Dates, Fun Dates, and am in sort of a relationship - not forever, I'm sure. Not all of them expect sex on the first date. After 50, some of them couldn't do it if they wanted to!!! Basically, dating after 50 sucks. It is NOTHING like it was when we were young - our culture is different now. Sad, but true.

Dating - mt1347

[ In Reply To ..]
This is why I removed myself from this "sport" many years ago. I can buy my own dinner, I don't need to "put out" to some guy. Even as I have gotten older, now in my early 60s, this hasn't changed. Most men won't ask a woman for a date unless they think it will end up in bed. You'd think they were still teenagers. It's kind of sad and pathetic that after decades of life, they just haven't learned anything. I enjoy my houseplants, my crafts, my geneaology, my book club, my movie watching, my solitary walks on the beach at sunset, and an occasional girls night. If a great man wanders into my path, that's nice, but I'm no pursuing anyone. This is my time to enjoy life on my own terms at last.

OMG, unreal. How old was this punk? lol - Lane

[ In Reply To ..]
I started dating again at 50 and it was hard but I made sure to have them meet me at the restaurant for the first couple of times just so I could make sure I liked them enough to even be in the car with them. lol

Similar Messages:

Jul 29, 2011
Ever get dragged into a marital explosion? I did yesterday. The situation is that I have a 14 y/o son who is really in love with a 14 y/o girl. They met at church 6 months ago. At first, we only allowed youth activities and then slowly allowed her to come over to our house and be included in family activities. They are never allowed alone at any times although I do allow them to sit together on the couch, and I know they have kissed because my youngest son is a spy! I consider my husband a ...

Apr 24, 2010
Which dating websites are the best? ...

Sep 17, 2012
Okay, so I had a moment of whats out there so I filled out a profile on a dating site (the only way you can see anything on tha site is the fill out a profile), I didn't put a picture up but I did list likes/dislikes. I did talk to a few men but no dates, meet ups or whatever. Well, this morning the site e-mailed me that someone was looking at my profile. To my shock it was my soon to be ex husband. We live in a small town and it is obvious who it is. I was&nbs ...

Jan 05, 2016
I really appreciate your helpful suggestions. Love you all! ...

Jan 19, 2010
and they said no, because someone else was giving them one, then later you broke up (they broke up with you) and then a month later they asked if they could still have the computer (it is old, worth about $100), do you owe it to them? ...

May 23, 2010
So what would you do if you dated a younger man only to find out that you both had started to have a very strong instant bond, only he wants to have children so he began struggling with that issue? He says it is unfair to take things any further with me because we have gotten so attached...him included, but that he knows he wants to have children. I am 42, already have two children, and have had a tubal ligation in the past. Obviously, trying to keep him with me would be unfair to him ...

Jan 04, 2016
Have any of you older ones had any good experiences with senior dating sites that you can recommend? I've been looking online, and after reading reviews, they all look like they can potentially rip you off. Actually, I don't even want to "date" per se, just want a companion to go places with, male or female, which is harder than you might think, especially where I live now. Anyway, I found that AARP had its own dating site, and I thought - gr ...

Jan 18, 2010
My older sister who turned 30 last year has been single for about 4 years. She has been out with guys, one who she dated about 6 months and fell hard for (she doesn't just fall in love with everyone she dates)... he ended up breaking her heart (twice as she gave him a second chance)... then after that has gone out with a couple losers, who are complete LIARS and say they want to hang out again, then never call... such lame-o's that cannot even be honest. anyways, she ...

Apr 06, 2010
I met a guy a year ago right after I separated from my husband & dated him a few times - he really liked me, but I decided I wasn't ready to get serious with anyone. Fast forward to a year later. We have reconnected and have been talking on the phone and texting. He is very nice and intelligent and attractive to me in many ways. EXCEPT over the course of this year he has gotten a pretty good sized cavity on one of his top canine teeth. He has a good job... I ...

Apr 25, 2010
Thanks to those who told me to go for it! We are getting along extremely well! We have gone out 3 times so far (yes in about a week)! And the more I get to know him the more I like him. I have met lots of men since my separation but he actually feels like the best match. Every time I see him we have so much to talk about and a lot of snuggling up to do! He keeps telling me how much he likes me and that he would like me to "stick around." We talked about all th ...

Nov 14, 2013
I'm sort of, kind of, maybe, possibly considering signing up with an online dating website like Christian Mingle or Plenty of Fish. Do any of you have experience with either of these? Divorced 6 years (from 2nd husband), I'm finally feeling ready to share my heart again with a nice man. Since I'm 50% the reason for both divorces, I know that I'm far from perfect...but I feel like I've learned to spot a man who will end being a verbal abuser. I hop ...

Jul 12, 2016
I was divorced about 12 years ago. I dated a little, but have had NO dates in the last 10 years. Recently I met a wonderful man. Things have progressed wonderfully and we are now in a serious, committed relationship. I have 2 adult children who live with me. My son is 26, my daughter is 22. They are causing major problems. They REFUSE to spend any time with my new boyfriend. They DEMAND I tell them when he is coming over, so they can hide in their room ...

Dec 30, 2009
I would certainly want someone to tell me, but you have to realize I live in an area where a lot of parents allow underage drinking. This particular mother has given liquor to teens, however, I am quite sure she wouldn't like oxycontin and oxycodone. I do know this for fact that the kid uses. My son wanted me to tell the parents and then he changed his mind but after I thought about it, I feel if something bad happened, I would feel I should have said something. Please he ...

Dec 01, 2009
I just came from a little lunch with a couple of my friends. We are friends because our kids go to school together (5th grade). I like them, but not enought to become "Best" friends. Anyway, they are talking about how their boys have "girlfriends", where they go to the movies together (of course with a parent/parents there with them), and go to each other's houses and play and so on. I think it's too young to be thinking about having boyfriends/girlfriends.&nbs ...