speech recognition funnies

I come on this board once in a while to get some lighted mood with a good joke or two and all I find are speech rec foibles. I don't think they are "funny." I think it is pretty sad, actually. Nothing is humerous about how the speech recordings screw up. Lets get some good old fashioned jokes on here once, like it USED to be. JMO. No flaming allowed. ...

DICTATED: Hep C cirrhosis. SPEECH RECOGNITION TYPED: Pepsi cirrhosis. Boy am I in trouble! I'm a Pepsi girl! LOL ...

A couple VR funnies for the day: Dictated: Patient was treated with Dilaudid and Zofran. ASR: Patient was treated with diet of the daughter and Zofran. Dictated: Patient did relay a history of frequent ear infections. ASR: Patient did relay a history of for freak and a year infection. ...

Anyone heard any new jokes lately? :) ...

Found these on a British site, so some of the references may be a little weird. ABITHAD - Another Blithering Idiot - Thinks He's A Doctor. ADR - Ain't Doin' Right. ART - Assuming Room Temperature (recently deceased). ATSWWT - Always Thinks Something's Wrong With Them. CTD - Circling The Drain. DAAD - Dead As A Doornail. DRT - Dead Right There. ETK(T)M - Every Test Known To Man. FDGB - Fall Down Go Boom. FFFF - Female, Fat, Forty and Flatulent. FF or FFY - Frequent Flyer - A ...

These were some great comedians of my time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEtDidm0pRE ...

He does seem to be competent to make poor medical decisions. ...

Much to the dismay of the Muslim in the WH, the Fort Hood terrorist attack committed by a Muslim is finally acknowledged for what it was: A terrorist act, NOT workplace violence. (Can you even believe we ever had to hear the words 'workplace violence' in this situation?) And the heroes are FINALLY being acknowledged with Purple Hearts, again to the dismay of You Know Who! That, to me, is one of the most despicable acts I've seen in this WH. ...

I would suggest that not only our leaders but every citizen of USA should pay attention to this advice. How scary is that? It is a sad day when a Communist Leader makes more sense than our LEADERS here in the U.S.A., but here it is! Vladimir Putin's speech - SHORTEST SPEECH EVER. Vladimir Putin, the Russian president, addressed the Duma, (Russian Parliament), and gave a speech about the tensions with minorities in Russia: "In Russia, live like ...

http://www.c-spanvideo.org/clip/4353213 ...

I'm confused on all the time stamps and tagging with these HITs. I also couldn't get the audio to play on the test. Is anybody working for Speech Ink successfully? ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poz6W0znOfk ...

I'm surprised no one on this board commented on it yet. I watched it and he seems pretty pi$$ed. I just hope he really means what he said this time. As he said, it is his responsibility. Maybe now he will stop blaming the former administration and focus on being a president instead of a puppet. The only problem I see is that talk is cheap. Implementation of what his plans are for the terrorist problem has yet to be seen. I did miss the press conference between Homeland Security ...

This is a local story. The man's son was killed in Iraq in 2006. Please read the story then click on links to the videos and watch. I think it's outrageous. http://www.wgal.com/news/22469665/detail.html ...

Speech: Cardiac politics. Dictated: Colonic polyps. Speech: Remote white arthritis. Dictated: Rheumatoid arthritis. Speech: My concern is that she is on a dentist. Dictated: My concern is that she is on Evista. Speech: Status post total knee of the pregnancy. Dictated: Status post total knee arthroplasties. Speech: She does have the typical COPD feces. Dictated: She does have the typical COPD facies. Speech: She is known for minimizing her conception. Dictated: She is known for minimi ...

The official transcript relates: There are a lot of wealthy, successful Americans who agree with me — because they want to give something back. They know they didn’t — look, if you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own. You didn’t get there on your own. I’m always struck by people who think, well, it must be because I was just so smart. There are a lot of smart people out there. It must be because I worked harder than everybody else. Le ...

So, Ryan is up there whining about the GM plant that closed in his home town and how that's all Obama's fault. News flash: That plant closed in 2008 before Obama took office. I think I counted about 12 lies during that speech. Awesome candidate. ...

This was deleted so I am reposting it. Trashing Muslims is wrong. Trashing Americans is right. (who knew) http://www.judicialwatch.org/blog/2013/05/doj-social-media-posts-trashing-muslims-may-violate-civil-rights/ ...

Hmmm, I wonder why? ...

The speech wreck engine offered up "California." The dictator actually said "schizophrenia." Sometimes, truth can be found in the oddest places.... And I live in California, so I can say that! Discuss among yourselves; I have work to do. Yes, I have work. :) ...

Just saw this story on CBS this morning, about a woman paramedic who was fired from her job because she made disparaging comments about her supervisor on Facebook. The court ruled in HER favor! ...

I missed it... what'd ya'll think? Anything new or the same BS politico rhetoric? ...

My fellow Americans.....this isn't my fault. I inherited this from Bush. Although I'm well into my first term, this still isn't my fault. Now congress is to blame. I want to spend...I'm sorry...I mean...invest money in public sector jobs because the unions contribute to my campaign and I want to make sure that I support union jobs while making things harder in the private sector. Republicans are evil. The rich...even though I'm rich... ...

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/edcetera/2013889257_turn_down_the_hate_speech.html ...

http://factcheck.org/2011/04/factchecking-obamas-budget-speech/ ...

What exactly is he trying to do here? Is he embracing the Arab countries? Does he want to rule the world? Why should we be so involved with the rest of the Arab world since they hate us so much? Why doesn't he worry about THIS country first? You tell me. At the US State Department in Washington, DC, President Obama delivered what the White House billed as a major address on what role the US should play in the post-“Arab Spring” world, in which he pledg ...

SR: We were able to get a urine to swallow Dictated: We were able to get urine to flow ...

10. “Their moment came and went. Fear and division are all they’ve got left. With all their attack ads, the president is just throwing away money— and he’s pretty experienced at that.” 9. “President Barack Obama came to office during an economic crisis, as he has reminded us a time or two.” 8. “It all started off with stirring speeches, Greek columns, the thrill of something new. Now all that’s left is a presidency adrift, surviving on slogans that already seem tired, gra ...

speech recognition funnies

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