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Can we get something on here BESIDES speech rec funnies?
Posted: Aug 10, 2012
I come on this board once in a while to get some lighted mood with a good joke or two and all I find are speech rec foibles. I don't think they are "funny." I think it is pretty sad, actually. Nothing is humerous about how the speech recordings screw up. Lets get some good old fashioned jokes on here once, like it USED to be. JMO. No flaming allowed.
;
Bring 'em on! - nm
[ In Reply To ..]nm
I agree. They are not funny. They are pathetically sad. - mollymt
[ In Reply To ..]Again, please no flaming.
okay, heres - one
[ In Reply To ..]An elderly lady was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her
husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling,
Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and,clearly, they were still very much in love. While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess to say, "I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving names." The elderly lady hung her head, "I have to tell you the truth," she said, "his name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I*m scared to death to ask the cranky old asshole what his name is."
This is funny too! thank you! nm - anon
[ In Reply To ..]nm
The Hotel Bill - Snow Bunny
[ In Reply To ..]An older lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.
When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She demanded to know why the charge was so high. "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn't even have breakfast."
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate', and breakfast had been included had she wanted it. She insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use."
"But I didn't use them," she said.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous. "We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here," the Manager said. "But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.
After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But madam, this check is for $50.00."
"That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaimed the very surprised Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
Don't mess with Senior Citizens
to: moderator - Des
[ In Reply To ..]The hostiles are trying to segregate the board again. Instead of contributing, they're just belittling. If they want different funnies, they're free to post them. Hateful comments to those of us posting what we think is funny is just another way to separate the board positive-versus-negative, happy-versus-unhappy.
who said anything hateful or negative?? geez! - anon
[ In Reply To ..]Just stating that the VR funnies are not funny, and can we please move on to something else. Nothing hateful about that! Maybe these VR "funnies" should be placed on the VR board instead of the comedy board. Not trying to segregate the positive from the negative. my goodness...you guys will jump on ANYTHING! may as well take down the whole MTStars board because nobody can say anything without someone finding fault with everything!
So, describing someone's post as "pathetically sad" is not hostile? Really?! - nm
[ In Reply To ..]nm
nobody specified any particular post as being... - anon
[ In Reply To ..]"pathetically sad," only the "mistakes" that vr makes, and that putting these "mistakes" on the "comedy board" is not necessarily "funny." and it is NOT "hostile" by any means. goodness gracious! really!.
I was not describing the poster as pathetically sad - mollymt
[ In Reply To ..]I was describing VR in general as pathetically sad. Why would I want to call anybody pathetically sad? It is not my nature to do that. I was talking about the whole VR thing being pathetically sad (the compensation and what the VR machine spits out), not a fellow human being.
holy guacamole ! - nm
[ In Reply To ..]
Really??!! - oh gawd
[ In Reply To ..]Seems like you fell off the funny truck and got hit by the crabby bus.
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