Name your "cant make it to work today" excuse

They take all the profits, cut employee benefits, want more work for less pay, and then send their money to Swiss bank accounts so they don't have to pay their fair share of taxes. ...

take a few laps in the pool, lay out for a while and then take a dip when I get hot, only problem is that it is so hot outside a hot bath would be cooler ... no fun at all. Now, what to do with my time since I still have no work. Guess I could clean but isn't it too hot for that too? :) ...

There's no excuse for this type of behavior - ever. What respectible man would talk to a woman like that? And the massage parlor? Why does Wisconsin put up with this piece of work? State Rep. Gordon Hintz was issued a municipal citation in Appleton earlier this month for violating a city sexual misconduct ordinance. Appleton police said the citation was issued Feb. 10 in conjunction with an ongoing investigation of Heavenly Touch Massage Parlor, 342 W. Wiscons ...

12 to 14 people stabbed.......they gonna take our knives next? http://www.abc6onyourside.com/shared/news/features/top-stories/stories/wsyx_multiple-people-stabbed-at-texas-college-suspect-arrested-23150.shtml ...

it wasn't a tea party rally or protest. It could be a real reason, or just an excuse to blame someone else. MADISON, Wis. (AP) -- Police say they have found live ammunition scattered on the ground around the Wisconsin Capitol. University of Wisconsin Police Chief Susan Riseling says 41 rounds of .22-caliber ammunition were found Thursday morning scattered at several locations outside the Capitol. The revelation came as state attorneys asked a Dane County judge to order the Capitol closed ...

blaming Bush, and it's okay by me if he goes out the same way - as long as it's tomorrow. ...

puppet for the Republican establishment? Yada yada yada - he talks now about all the things he will do, saying what a lot of people want to hear, ropes everybody in, then Paul Ryan, Dick Cheney, Mitch McConnell, etc reel them in and do exactly what they want anyway. Not for anyone right now, just thinking this through. Once the Republicans fully endorse, they will be running the show = the people who Trump followers think they are voting against... It just d ...

I heard this on the news yesterday and almost flipped. His needs to step down. He is not representing the people. He is representing a race and I'm not being a racist stating that. It's in black and white (no pun intended). "This Department of Justice does not enforce the law in a race-conscious way," declared Attorney General Eric Holder in a House oversight hearing yesterday. But Politico reports on an exchange during the hearing that suggests otherwis ...

Had a PA accidentally Dermabond her glove to this poor little girl's head. They had to cut 2 sections of hair out to get fix it. I glued my butt to the floor once when laying tile, but dang...poor kid. ...

A while back I posted a message that the oil commodity prices were going up and the last time oil was about $90, gas went to over $4.00. Do you think there is less oil out there? The last time gas prices increased that much, oil companies reported record profits and Bush was president. Hmmm. Republicans have the House. I think I will go buy some oil stock. ...

I cannot believe it. I had hardly any pain yesterday except after the drops were put in and today I can see to read quite a lot, not fine print, but can read this board and some other things. The colors are so bright and the white is so white and bright. I feel like I have new eyes. Thanks so much for praying all of you. BTW, they had to delay surgery for me and the first patient because something was wrong on the light. They finally got that fixed and I was only 20 minutes late going ...

Supposedly, DHS shut down 20 of these birth tourist homes, all in California. It costs up to $50K for the Chinese mothers-to-be to come and stay here, having their babies in a regular hospital, and then go home. The Fourteenth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution grants automatic citizenship to everyone born in the United States. It was intended to ensure that freed slaves would be able to claim citizenship they rightly deserved. Today, however, some creative "birth tourists" are ta ...

Believe it or not, I got a wonderful cat at a shelter today! He is a gorgeous black cat, looks like a little panther, and is incredibly affectionate and good natured. He had been there quite a while because the shelter people said they have such a hard time placing black cats! He is a love (and my third black cat), and I am so glad that a friend of mine suggested I take a black cat! So, no Savannah cat, no pit, no Rottie, just a wonderful and loving black cat! He is a very peaceful creature ...

gem. He made fun of the inexpensive raingear the Nascar fans were wearing. Smart, real smart. ...

Here is another one to keep all of you laughing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFPw5ojZYGw&feature=related ...

Had a bad day? It could have been worse. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1CjvMTHbKc ...

This is a very funny one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWrj9TaA0Mc ...

I couldn't make up my mind on which one to send so I am posting both as today's funny. Here is another one for the animal lovers like me. Very cute. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiBR_gWJmwE ...

Today is a choice Today is a choice. Choose to make it beautiful and productive. Today is filled with challenges, opportunities, frustrations, possibilities and much more. Choose to make good and meaningful use of it all. No matter what you have chosen or failed to choose in the past, today you can choose to live at your highest, most fulfilling level. No matter what today brings, you can respond with love, kindness, joy, gratitude and genuine enthusiasm for making a positive difference. In ...

I'm a 47-year-old female always been healthy except for some aggravating sinus symptoms. I went in for my physical today and here's what I got: Height 5'7"; Weight 130 lbs; BMI 20.4, BP 112/74. I've never been on any medications and have no medical problems for medications. Well, my doc said she'd like to do a baseline EKG and here are the results.... "Sinus rhythm with PVCs; rSr' (V1) - probable normal variant; Possible anterior infarct - age und ...

Today, ASR heard the doctors name to be Dr. Shaky BUN. I just about laughed myself out of the chair. ...

One of our dogs died today. My husband just found her in her dog house. She was at least 15 years old. She was the mother of two of my other dogs. She was such a good dog. I am so sad...just needed to tell somebody...thanks ...

I'm surprised no one on this board commented on it yet. I watched it and he seems pretty pi$$ed. I just hope he really means what he said this time. As he said, it is his responsibility. Maybe now he will stop blaming the former administration and focus on being a president instead of a puppet. The only problem I see is that talk is cheap. Implementation of what his plans are for the terrorist problem has yet to be seen. I did miss the press conference between Homeland Security ...

So first I got a fruit basket delivered today from one of my accounts. Very nice. Then I got my mail and there was a X-mas card from our next door neighbor. They are retired, in their 80s, and live in Florida for the winter. Since we live in an area that has plenty of snow, we (usually me) shovel or snowblow their sidewalk whenever needed. In the past they have always sent a X-mas card with a check for my husband for doing the snowblowing, I think usually about $50. ...

At the end of a below-the-knee amputation, "Tourniquet was let down at the end of the case. The toes were pink and vascularly intact." Huh? ...

Patient was on DVD prophylaxis. I think I could use a little of that! ...

Mine is Jeans, red blouse with white polka dots and sandals. ...

In a sleep study report: "The patient reports that she occasionally wakes up in bed with a jerk." ...

Dictator said: toxoplasmosis ASR typed: tox the Plaza Moses ...

NBC/WSJ Poll out todayObama Job approval 49%Favorable/UnfavorableObama 48/39Romney 33/36Preference for CongressDemocrat controlled 46%Republican controlled 44%Who would you vote forObama 49%Romney 43%Support TeapartyYes 25%No 64%Caring about average peopleObama 52%Romney 22%Women's IssuesObama 49%Romney 21%Looking out for Middle ClassObmam 48%Romney 27%Commander in ChiefObama 43%Romney 33%Consistent and standing up for his beliefsObama 41%Romney 30%Honest and straigt forwardObama 37%Ro ...

Name your "cant make it to work today" excuse

My cat ate my headset wires! - nm

Got a flat tire - nm

I have an eye problem... I can't see myself coming in today - te he

Cute! I have hemorrhoids. This job is a big pain in the .... - nm

Can't make it to work today - Alice

^^Hilarious!!^^^ - Caroline

If the cat's away - this mouse will play - hooky just because!

I have a JOB INTERVIEW - sheepish grin

I have to condition my hair. One step above - the shampoo excuse (nm)

I have a hangnail. - nm

my speech recognition is down! - nm : )

LOL!!!!!! - tmt

I have to go watch a re-run of Happy Days. - nm

My Internet is out - nm

My ESL code breaker is on the fritz! - nm

Neighbor is moving, van blocking driveway. - Lannie

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