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what do you think about a 12 year old girl sitting on an uncle's lap?

Posted: Dec 13, 2010

Is it innappropriate to anyone else? Opinions and reasons why or why not please, thanx!

;

It depends - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
Not everyone has perversions. I think it all depends on the relationship. If a man is a good and decent man, never an "absurd" thought. Has known the girl since she was born and there is nothing between them then I wouldn't think anything of it. Also some 12 year olds are still like children. If she's sat on his lap all her life why would anything change. Unless she starts thinking of him in a personal relationship and starts coming on to him or vice versa I just don't think anything wrong. I have pics of my mom sitting on her dads lap when she was around that age. I don't think anything of it.

I sat on my grandpa's lap until he said I was too big - AARPMom

[ In Reply To ..]
which was about the age of 12 (I was 5 feet 6 inches tall and weighed 120 pounds). After that, I sat squirreled up under his arm with my arm across his middle in hug fashion. I think I didn't stop doing that until he started needing oxygen all the time when I was in my 20s.

We had a huge, huge family and we were all very affectionate. My mom's family was known for being honorable. I never, ever would have done this with my dad's side of the family as they did not nearly equal that level of honor.

In today's society, I would still allow it IF the family dynamics were the same. Sadly, they aren't. With my 7 yo girl, there are no real male role models for me to be have the opportunity to say it was appropriate, and I am much more jaded about the issue in regards to her.

I think it is an individual situation that would need close monitoring. You can always just say she is too big and could sit next to him in public but never in private if it bothered you.

uncles lap - snoho

[ In Reply To ..]
LOL!!! me too!

uncles lap - labelle

[ In Reply To ..]
It depends on the situation, if you've noticed some odd behavior from the uncle when this occurs, etc. If you feel the motive may be inappropriate, just watch for unusual behavior.

I'm from an affectionate family also, but just want to make two points: 1) The bond with fathers and grandfathers are different than an uncle. 2) Some may think you're overreacting to ask such a question. The fact is that over 60% of molested children are molested at the hands of a family member. I know firsthand, as my 3 and 6 year-old boys were molested by my 13 year-old stepson whom I took in my home to live here. So, yes...if there is even the slightest idea that something may not be right, it's okay to investigate it (afterall she's your child)!

I was almost immediately in tune with my kids when this happened and was able to address it hopefully before any permanent damage to my kids.

Furthermore, I think it's sons were molested by my older stepson and I knew something was wrong almost immediately without more than a few odd statements from them)

y I don't believe a comparison can be made to a grandfather or dad to an uncle.

re: sitting on lap - Kiki

[ In Reply To ..]
I think what you need to ask is why YOU think it is inappropriate.

My family young and old are very affectionate, huggy, kissy, touchy and my 25 year old daughter still will playfully sit on her uncles AND aunts laps because she is the "baby"!

If you feel uncomfortable about this situation, ask yourself why. There should be no discomfort in getting physically close to a relative, unless something is wrong.

My uncle lived with us off and on when - I was a child

[ In Reply To ..]
and my parents would have never thought anything about me sitting on his lap. I was one of those kids who would never sleep by myself and would even sleep in the same bed with him. He was like an extra father as he was always there, babysat me, and it was never weird or anything like that.

Not all men are sexual predators. I guess it would depend on the person.

I saw on Dad's "lap" until he died. - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Granted as he got older and had health issues and I was heavier, I often sat with my butt on one arm of his recliner and legs on the other, keeping my weight off him. Nothing sensual,just still wanted to be Daddy's Little Girl.

I do notice my granddaughter, who has turned 12, now is more reserved with her hugs. No chest to chest hugs, she kind of holds her little "bahooba babbies" back so they don't touch anyone. She still will perch on a knee now and again though.

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