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mind-boggling to me

Posted: Dec 17, 2009

My 18-year-old son lives about an hour and a half away. His girlfriend (who is 17 and in 11th grade) lives about 20-25 minutes from here but on the way to where he lives, so he is only about an hour away from her. He works until 8 or 9 p.m. most nights but he still makes the drive to see her (and sometimes us) pretty often.

So he calls me this morning to tell me he went to her house last night to exchange Christmas gifts because he's not sure if he gets another day off before Christmas, when she will be out of town. Oh yea, and he spent the night at her house.

Call me old-fashioned, but I believe it's completely inappropriate, not to mention completel unnecessary, since we are only 20-25 minutes away and he could have slept in his old room in his old bed. I only assumed that at least he slept on the couch, right? Wrong!

Her dumb*ss parents let him sleep in her room!! Of course, there were rules, which were: 1) The door had to stay open; 2) He had to sleep on a the pull-out bed; 3) They weren't supposed to tell anybody he spent the night.

Why are parents so stupid?

;

I HATE THAT!!! - :)

[ In Reply To ..]
Some parents DO NOT CARE!!! My cuz got pregnant at age 16 and I am surprised it wasn't earlier because her parents let her BFs stay over. Same thing with her brother and he got married at 17 and divorced. My mom even let my sister's BF spend the night when she was 16 and I thought that was crazy! Kids are SNEAKY. I am 24 and I was sneaky! I have kids of my own now and they are growing up way too fast and doing that kind of stuff just makes them grow up even faster and get into things they may or may not be ready for. I guess some parents just have blinders on or just think their kid could do no wrong.

just a thought - mb

[ In Reply To ..]
I totally agree with your morals. My 21 and 24 year old thought I was the most old fashion person ever. I still will not let my 24 year old engaged daughter's boyfriend sleep in the same bed at our house even though she sleeps at his apartment at times. And I am sure stuff went on with my daughters in college, but what I don't know I cannot worry about. But if your son is 18 years old and lives on his own what makes you think she does not come and visit him there and sleep over his house. Maybe you need to have a talk with him and make sure you don't want grandchildren at this age. Another thing I would call her parents and tell them you do not approve at that sleeping arrangement and to send him home the next time. One plus in this situation you son did tell you all this and did not keep it from you. He could of went to house and you might never have known.

Actually, her parents have let her make the drive - anne

[ In Reply To ..]
to go visit him, which I do not like because they have no chaperone. It's just asking for trouble. But, I have raised him right, with good morals, and I pray for him, that he will make good decisions and be mindful of consequences at all times. I just wish her parents would stop dangling their daughter in front of him like a carrot! I have a 16-year-old daughter and just cannot imagine not protecting her as they are not protecting their daughter. I'm glad they think my son is a nice upstanding guy, but he is not perfect, he loves their daughter, and hormones are raging. Don't make it easy for them to give in.

My son agreed to not stay at her house anymore and next time just drive home or come here and sleep, where he is always welcome, and he understood why his dad and I were unhappy. I think he was maybe disappointed in himself for not politely declining in the first place, I dunno. We had a long conversation about compromising and slippery slopes, etc., a conversation we have had before but it was worth a repeat.

It's hard enough these days to keep your kids on the straight and narrow - I would just like to know I could count on her parents to cooperate. I worry enough about the bad influence of other kids. I shouldn't have to worry about parens too.

I used to work for an OB/GYN who was also - mt

[ In Reply To ..]
in charge of the teen pregnancy clinic in Houston. We had 12 and 13 year olds coming in pregnant. I had two daughters, ages 4 and 6 at the time. I was so concerned about them having sex at an early age. He told me that having sex was not the issue, keeping them from getting pregnant was the bigger concern, and he was right. Don't worry about the small things. Your son is almost assuredly having sex, so make him aware of the importance of condoms NO MATTER WHAT. In an effort to impart morals to our kids, I think we oftentimes miss the bigger picture.

Also, when I was talking to my physician boss at the time, this was about 2 years before we heard about HIV/AIDS, so we weren't even concerned about it then.

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