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My son has been charged with assault for a fight

Posted: Sep 6, 2011

he had with another boy over a girl. My son is 18yo. The fight occurred in February of 2011. He was charged with felony assault because he brought a baseball bat to the fight becaused he feared he would be jumped by more than one guy. He immediately discarded the bat in a snow bank when he arrived and saw it would be one on one.

Here's my question, is it appropriate for me to contact the judge on his case just to voice my concerns about the prosecuting attorney? My son was charged in March. He has appeared in court every month since. Each time, the prosecuting attorney was not prepared to offer a deal or to proceed to trial. Finally, in August the prosecuting attorney made an offer that included shock time which I did not think was fair as my son does not have any criminal history to speak of. This is the first and only time he has been in trouble. I had let our attorney know that I was willing to accept the probation and anger management that was offered, but I did not want my son to spend time in jail. I also would have liked the felony be reduced to a misdemeanor, but whatever. My attorney had a meeting with the prosecuting attorney who then countered with reducing the shock time by five days which to me is still unacceptable.

I would like an opportunity to speak with the judge on this case because this prosecuting attorney has drug this out for six months now. I would like to address the fact that my son does not have a criminal record whatsoever and has faithfully showed up for every single court date since this began ready to accept a fair punishment. Our only sticking point is the shock time and she will not budge. This judge, I know, has admonished this prosecutor in the past because she has a history of not making deals and has cases back logged for months and months because she will not make any fair plea deals on anything.

So is appropriate or legal for me to speak to the judge or send him a letter on behalf of my son? I've asked our attorney, but he hasn't given me an answer.

;

Not legal advice, but here's what I would do - Maggie May

[ In Reply To ..]
I don't see why you couldn't write a letter to the judge on his behalf, and explain what you have explained here. If it was me, I would do that. I have a son, so I understand how you feel. I certainly don't see how it could be illegal to do so. But that's not legal advice, because I'm not a lawyer.

Definitely write the judge and asks other family members - shortcake

[ In Reply To ..]
and friends who know your son to write as well. That is what I would do. I am not an attorney but when my nephew did something very, very stupid a couple years ago that is what we did. He was facing much more than shock time and ended up with probation and fines, and believe me, he did much worse that what your son did!! I hope it all works out. Believe me, I know how scary it is when someone you love is facing such serious consequences. The best of luck to your son (and you).

Better yet - open your eyes

[ In Reply To ..]
Your son committed FELONY ASSAULT. He's an adult. Having his mommy call is not likely going to carry a lot of weight, nor should it.

Perhaps putting his butt in jail for a few days (and that's usually all it is) will make him think twice before he picks up a baseball bat and goes to a fight.

A dear friend of mine has a son who was on the receiving end of a "nice boy" who took a bat to a fight and beat my friends' sons' head in. He's now 23 and will forever be with his mom because he can't function on his own.

IMO, your son deserves to be punished and hopefully, it'll be strong enough that he won't do it again. Too many moms think their kids are angels.... a kid taking a baseball bat to a fight wasn't going to stand on home plate. Book 'em Dano.

My some did not commit felony assault, he did NOT use the bat. - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
He discarded the bad before entering into the fight with the other boy. He took the bat in the event there were more than one guys ready to jump him which incidentally did happen a few hours after the fight. Three grown men, one nearly 40 years old, jumped my son and my son suffered an orbital floor fracture. It was after I insisted my son swear out a complaint against those men that the charges for the earlier fight were brought out against my son.

So basically my son's fears of being jumped by more than one assailant were founded; however, he did not use the bat. He threw it down.

I didn't say my son was an angel. I know he is not. I am more than willing for him to accept his punishment for what he did. However, I do not think a fist fight with another boy over a stupid girl warrants jail time. It's ridiculous!

Take the blinders off - better yet

[ In Reply To ..]
Just because he put his weapon down before he started the fight does not make him innocent of bringing a weapon to the fight that he could have picked up at any time. He deserves jail time so the next time, he a) doesn't show up for the fight and b) most assuredly does not bring a weapon.

I hope he gets minimal jail time, enough for it to sink in how wrong he was.

He could not have picked it up at any time during the fight. - Legal Question

[ In Reply To ..]
He threw it in a snow bank as he got out of a car at least 20 yards away from where the fight occurred. He walked up to the boy without the bat and the bat was 20 or more yards away buried in the snow.

I feel bad for your kids should they every make a stupid mistake as a teenager. You'll just turn your back on them!

not exactly - better yet

[ In Reply To ..]
I taught my kids how to conduct themselves like rational human beings not animals. If you show up for a fight with a bat, the law can (and should IMO) go after you for what your INTENT was. Same thing if you rob a store with a gun in your pocket, it's armed robbery, even if the gun never sees the light of day.

Teach your kid not to settle stuff with his fists and maybe you wont have to be asking these frantic kinds of questions.

Agree - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Really, I agree that you need to open your eyes. In what universe is it ever acceptable to "go to" a fight, much less go to a fight with a baseball bat? Someone who wants to protect himself stays AWAY from a fight; they don't go to one. Your son has more than anger management problems! He engaged in criminal behavior of the worst sort and he's lying to you.

I would think twice before talking to that judge because you may make things worse. This isn't Judge Judy, a reality show, or a soap opera, and it IS going to take forever to resolve. It's a court case--that's how they are. Who are you to demand concessions because things aren't done to your preferred timeline?

You need to work with your attorney. Better yet, get out of the picture and let your son work with his attorney. If your attorney isn't answering your requests, it may be because you're not the client -- your son is.

Getting charges dropped or reduced to protect your son isn't helpful to him. Sure, it's painful to you to see him go through that, but think about what the mother of the kid he attacked is going through. They probably live in fear of your son coming back for another round. How nice is that?

Get the punishment over with and then both of you get some counseling so that you understand what bad behavior is and why we don't engage in it.

Your son has no history because he just hasn't been caught. I'm sorry that this unpleasantness happened to you, but you need to put the blame where it belongs . . . on your son.

Again, I do not believe that charges should be dropped - Legal Question

[ In Reply To ..]
against my son. I think that he committed misdemeanor assault. He discarded the bat and did not use. Yes he went to a fight. I'm not sure what universe you live in but boys fight and boys go to fights, boys seek each other out to fight.

It happened 25 years ago when I was in high school, it happened 50 years ago when my parents were in high school, and it will continue to happen. The difference is now everyone sues everyone and everyone gets arrested and it's a huge mess.

When I was 18 my boyfriend got his nose broke in a fight and no one went to jail or court. It was a fight and it was done.

As far as the boy's mother fearing my son, the boy's mother lives in another town and doesn't have a clue what her son is up to. Her son just spent a year and a half at a boy's camp for breaking and entering and burglary. The boy's father and brother are potheads who get stoned together. So I wouldn't waste too much time worrying about them.

you sound like my dad's brother - personalaccountability

[ In Reply To ..]
when his kids tricked my sister into drinking a "cola" - gasoline in a coke bottle. "boys will be boys"

or when his boys raped a mentally challened 13 yo girl. "boys will be boys"

but when he was arrested for molesting his own granddaughters, he fought it tooth and nail.

not all boys engage in the type of behavior you claim. And this ain't your momma's 1950s.

Are you comparing my son to child molestors and rapists?!?!?! - Legal Question

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm sorry that so much violence and depravity have touched your life, but I think those experiences has greatly colored your perception here. In no way whatsoever does my son even begin to compare to your list of criminals!

I have said several times now that I believe my son should have personal accountability for his actions. However, I believe the punishment should fit the crime.

One of the men that broke into my house and assaulted my son got exactly the same deal. That man has prior convictions of assault and also had a separate case for assault in the same court at the same time he was being prosecuted for the assault against my son.

So explain to me how that man with a demonstrated prior criminal record and two still pending assault cases gets the same exact deal as my son who has no prior criminal record whatsoever.

Does that seem like the system is working? Does that seem fair to you?

Another poster, but it seems like your son's instinct - was right about bringing a bat

[ In Reply To ..]
If you are going to fight people like that, you better bring something if you want to walk out of it alive.

Btw, to me your don't seem to be condoning your child's actions, so I wouldnt get too worked up on what these people tell you. I mean if he continues with the behavior, yes, but one fight, not so much. We live and learn through the mistakes we make. Just being on his record along with some community service should be enough as long as no one was seriously hurt.

Thank you. I don't know why I post here. - Legal Question

[ In Reply To ..]
Some of these people are just so callous. It's easy to be so cavalier when it's not their child they are talking about. Of course their child would never do anything so stupid!

I'm just a mother who loves her son and wants to make sure that one stupid mistake defines the rest of his life.

that should "doesn't define the rest of his life." - Legal Question

[ In Reply To ..]
x

What I would do - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I would have family and friends write letters but more importantly, I would hold out for a plea bargin. Your son should not plead guilty to felony assault when he did not assault anyone with a weapon. Those charges will be with him for the rest of his life and he will have a very difficult time finding employment. Also, if he ever gets in any trouble again, this will be held against him. Kids do stupid things sometimes but hopefully they learn from their mistakes. Serving time in jail for a fight where no weapons were involved seems very extreme to me. So to answer your question, I would speak on my son's behalf when it comes time for sentencing. You can have other people in your community speak for him as well. Good luck to you.

who brought the charges and how did the fight go? - nm

[ In Reply To ..]

The fight was a fist fight. My son was getting the - Legal Question

[ In Reply To ..]
better of the other boy when a neighbor threatened to call the police and my son left. The fight started because my son's ex-girlfriend was dating this other boy and the other boy had been texting my son lewd and disgusting texts about how "satisfied" the ex-girlfriend was now that she was him.

I was not home when this all transpired, but apparently my son had enough, left my house and went to where this boy was to confront him. Insults and vulgarity ensued, I assume, and then fists flew. The other boy did not have a black eye or fat lip or anything like that. A few red marks that faded within hours according to police photos.

Charges were not filed against my son until later that same day after my son was assaulted by three grown men (relatives of the ex-girlfriend). I forced my son into the car and took him to the police station because I was beside myself and because these three men had entered my house to commit this assault. I wanted to press charges for them trespassing.

After word got out that my son had gone to the police, the other boy and ex-girlfriend went to the police to swear out statements against my son for the earlier fight.

So that's basically the gist of it. Basically it was an extremely stupid situation all around over some stupid little girl. As I said earlier, I am not suggesting my son get off scot free, but I think felony assault and shock time is a little over the top.

charges - GAMT

[ In Reply To ..]
I have some questions:

1. Is your son in school and/or does he have a job? What does he do with his time?

2. Why would he care what an ex says about him, what was his reasoning?

3. You said all boys fight - that is not true - I don't know too many adult men who fight (yes he is an 18-year-old man not a boy) - can you explain this??

An 18 year old boy may be a man in the eyes of the law - Legal Question

[ In Reply To ..]
but they are still very much boys when comes to girlfriends and fights, etc. He doesn't care what his ex says about him. He cared about what the boyfriend was saying TO him.

I am not saying that is okay for my son to fight. I am saying it happened. I think it was stupid and I was and am still very angry that my son decided to act so stupidly. What's done is done. I can't change the past.

As I have said repeatedly, I believe my son is guilty of misdemeanor assault. I have NEVER said he was innocent or the charges should be dropped. He should get probation, community service, anger management, and whatever else, but absolutely no jail time whatsoever.

but what you think doesn't matter - personalaccountability

[ In Reply To ..]
it's what the judge thinks, how the DA/prosecuter's office decides to handle it, and the hands of the lawyer representing your son.

I remember how your son and his gf fought in your house with you present in your office working and how you never wanted her back in your house. Where is his dad throughout all of this? What you are saying is that your son went out and beat up somebody, only stopping because a witness called the police and he stopped (showing he could control himself when he thought he was going to get in trouble with the law, not YOU), and then the gf's family came over to beat up your son in your house and you hauled your son into the police station to file charges on those guys....

(taking a breath)

so where is his personal accountibility? You are not able to hold him to any and now, by his own actions, the law has stepped in. I repeat: It doesn't matter how fair you think the legal system is. Your son now has to answer to the law. I hope he learns from it and can move past it, but the chips are stacked against him if you continue to minimize what he did or you continue to spew how unfare you think his punishment is. He will continue to view himself as "special" with that kind of motherly support.

I'm just stating my own personal opinion here. If you don't like it, well, then we'll have different opinions.

OMG! Have you read any of my posts?!? I have said I think he should be held accountable - Legal Question

[ In Reply To ..]
for his actions. However, THE PUNISHMENT SHOULD FIT THE CRIME!

I have not minimized anything my son has done EVER!

And my son's father is a deadbeat piece of trash who would have gone with my son to watch him fight the other boy! If I had been home when all this happened, I would have stopped my son or at least tried to with every fiber of my being. I would have smacked him upside his head if I couldn't get him to think, but I was not home!

When they came to arrest him for his fight, I calmly asked my son to come to the door and my son calmly got arrested. He was respectful to the officer as was I. We both knew what he was getting arrested for and that he deserved to be arrested.

He doesn't deserve to have a felony on his record. He doesn't deserve to spend time in the county lock up.

He deserves to be on probation for misdemeanor assault, he deserves to do community service in this most public and humiliating job the county can find for him, and he deserves to go to anger management.

He's a good kid who did a really stupid thing. He's a good kid that started dating a trashy girl who has a very rough and tough family. And when my son tried to end it with her, he got assaulted by her, harrassed by her new boyfriend, and assaulted by her family.

My son was stupid plain and simple. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I have told him that repeatedly. He knows he was stupid. Now, we just want to put this behind us. Get a fair deal and move on so he can prove he has learned from his stupidity.

here's the thing - ...

[ In Reply To ..]
It doesn't matter that you feel he deserves to be charged with misdemeanor assault. By bringing the bat, your son elevated the charge to a felony.

You get charged with armed robbery even if you're just pretending to have a gun.

Unfortunately, your're right. He did a stupid thing. I feel for you.

I think you should get the best lawyer you can pay for.

I remember your posts - personalaccountability

[ In Reply To ..]
and I am inclined to take the position it is time for you to stop protecting your son from his consequences. He made the choice not to ignore or to legally deal with the new boyfriend's unwanted communication. He picked an action and now someone else picks his consequences.

Such is life. IMHO, you should teach your son how to live with life's choices (and how to make better ones) rather than attempting to minimize the consequences of same.

I know this one post of yours does not cover all the background information, but I do remember all your posts that lead up to this incident; I stand by this post and advice.

Here's the thing...????? - I think you need a good lawyer

[ In Reply To ..]
Just bringing a bat does not make it a felony. If he tossed it aside and did not use it in a one on one fist fight, it is not a felony. It would have become a felony if he had picked it up and swung it or hit the other guy with it.

I think you need to hire a good lawyer to go over everything that happened. The fight one on one, the illegal breaking and entering by 3 people into your home and the timing of the filing of the complaint against your son after being caught in the criminal act of breaking and entering.

Do I think your son should have gone to the fight with the anticipation of several people possibly waiting for him, NO...that was just plain dumb, but it was also just plain being 18. The adults who broke into your house with the intent to do bodily harm to your son or possibly other members of your family that came to his defense are much more in the wrong than your son is.

Get a good attorney and fight it so he is not labeled a felon for the rest of his life, he is 18 and there will be no getting the record sealed later on, it will be there for his entire life.

bringing the bat - legal eagle

[ In Reply To ..]
Assault is the threat - Battery is the act. If he brought a bat and it was seen - that is the threat of using the bat, and depending on your state, that can be a felony charge. Maybe he should have had some anger management help a couple of years ago, before it escalated to this level.

I think that's the whole point - watching who my kid hangs out with

[ In Reply To ..]
A brother of someone my teenager knows spent 10 years in prison for attempted murder. He carried a knife routinely and 3 guys jumped him. He stabbed someone during that fight and ended up taking a plead to the attempted murder charge. The guy always minimizes that he carried it for protection and does not understand the concept that some people never make a choice to carry deadly weapons. I want my teenager not to hang around people with the weapon carrying mentality. Whether I have to change her cell phone, start transporting her back and forth to school, move to another area, home school...I'd do whatever it takes to drive that point home before something stupid happens.

why didn't you press charges - ...

[ In Reply To ..]
Just curious as to why you did not press charges against the three grown men who entered your home.

From what you describe, the girl and other boy made their statements following this assault.

Maybe there's stuff we don't know.

Regardless: In the end, you just should not show up for a fight.

If your son actually intended to - and thought he could - use a bat and defend himself against more than one other guy, maybe he needs a little time to cool his heels.

This could have been a real disaster. Count your lucky stars, and teach him how to count his.

Son - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
This is just my experience...The prosecutor sounds very much like he is trying to make your son sweat. By holding out, she is trying to frighten him into taking a crappy deal! If she had such an open and shut case, she would have prosecuted him by now. Legally, they have a certain length of time to get him to trial. You may want to ask your attorney what that timeframe is. Chances are even if this does go to trial, he wouldn't get a much stiffer sentence than the prosecutor is offering right now and she knows it. She wants your son to do her job for her and essentially convict himself by taking albeit a crappy plea. Never take a plea that is that bad, especially on a first offense. The fact that she has offered two pleas now tells me she is still fishing to try to get him to seal his own fate and take the plea. Don't do it. I don't know how good your attorney is, but it doesn't sound like he is providing you with much advice. A prosecutor's job is simply "to win". It is not about fairness in court, and don't deceive yourself into thinking it is. Ask for a jury trial not a bench trial. You have better odds of being acquitted trying to convince 6 to 12 people than one judge. Besides it will make the prosecutor's job even harder and you may just convince her to plead this out with a lot better offer. With no record, he should get probation, fees, community service and probably anger management, but remember jails are crowded and they really don't have the room to put every since person away even for short periods of time. This is definitely in your favor. HE is a first time offender. His sentence will not been jail time in my opinion. If for some reason it is, it won't be more than a couple of days, counting time served and good time. So say 5 days in jail, spent 1 day in jail before being bailed out, that is 4 days remaining, and he will only have to serve two. Being his first offense, there is NO WAY I would let her bully me into a conviction that will follow him. Make her do her job. If the judge is aware of her reputation, he probably isn't fond of her anyway. I don't think writing the judge is a good way to go. The judge has to remain impartial and accepting and reading letters from you could be seen as showing unethical favoritism to your son. I don't think he would read them. You may need a better attorney though if this one doesn't start giving you a better strategy. Contact Legal Aid in your city. JMO.

I would not contact the judge. Chances are the judge will never see the case. sm - RoadrunnerMT

[ In Reply To ..]
I would contact the prosecuting attorney or attorney general. They are the ones making the decisions about the prosecution. I agree with the other poster, do not accept a plea unless it is acceptable. Hold out for what you want. The DA knows they would lose this case if it went to trial and it isn't a big enough crime to waste money on going to trial. So hold out for the trial if need be. Don't admit guilt, admitting only gives them a leg to stand on. Like they said it will forever go on his record and follow him preventing him from working, schooling, etc. in the future.

After reading all of this, I understand why you - want to protect your son, but

[ In Reply To ..]
I am not sure that this was just a little stupid mistake. You seem to want to make the other people out to be the aggressors, but then you state that your son went over to their house with a bat. This is not a case of him having a bat to simply protect himself. He was the aggressor in this situation. I am not so sure that the punishment does not fit the crime. I understand that you want to protect your son and I would, too, but that doesn't mean that he jail time is not a fitting punishment. If some 18-year-old came to my house to fight with my son and brought a bat, I sure would want to see him sit in jail for a little while, whether he used the bat, or not. Wouldn't you?

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Apr 08, 2011
It goes by minutes...and by the way, I noticed that the Cherry Blossom Festival will go on.....Reid was so worried about it not happening. On the other Reid comment about women's health and pubs want to take away that funding. Planned Parenthood is VERY involved in abortion and unplanned pregnancies besides providing other services to women. If so, this is where most of the fight is all about now, and this is why they want to unfund PP. If PP wouldn't provide abortions, then the ...

Mar 23, 2010
The American people spoke decisively against a big government, high tax, Washington knows best, pro-trial lawyer centralized bureaucratic health system. In every recent poll the vast majority of Americans opposed this monstrosity. Speaker Pelosi knew the country was against the bill. That is why she kept her members trapped in Washington and forced a vote on Sunday. She knew if she let the members go home their constituents would convince them to vote no. The Obama-Pelosi-Reid machine ...

Mar 10, 2013
I do wonder how many other states have started doing this. I would think this is ILLEGAL. The Missouri Department of Revenue, who issues concealed carry permits in Missouri, may have been caught transmitting private information on Concealed Carry Permit Holders to the Department of Homeland Security. Lieutenant Governor Peter Kinder held a press conference to announce his involvement in an attempt to stop the Missouri Department of Revenue (DOR) from transmitting this private data to th ...

May 03, 2013
The theme of the NRA's annual convention this year is “Stand and Fight.” From NRA spokesman Andrew Arulanandam: “From our perspective, this is not over. This is a fight that will take years. And what happened a couple of weeks ago [in the Senate] was the first battle in what will be many battles. But we're prepared for a very long and extensive war.” Battle. Wow. ...