This gave me a little chuckle

Doctor said: The patient is scheduled for an angiogram. VR added: In fact, the patient will do a stool. (Nothing had been said at this point, but the doctor was breathing heavily as he was thinking, and VR interpreted his breathing as that apparently.) ...

When a topic is discussed on the boards, no matter what, there are immediately matching adverts popping up on top of the page. The advert about "Hoarders! Removal of trash and garbage, etc..." made me smile. This topic was discussed at length on this board. Some people should really give them a call! ...

On pelvic exam: Dictated: A Pap smear was collected. VR output: A pastor was collected. ...

Granted, the patient came in for female issues. This just made me laugh. Dictated: I counseled her to stop smoking for general health purposes. VR typed: I counseled her to stop smoking from her vaginal vault ...

Dictated: Milk of magnesia VR: Movement of knees ...

Doc was dictating past surgical history and came to one that he called a "Nissan" fundoplication. ...

The doc is dictating a correction, says: "Please note, there were only two debridements, not three. The heel debridement was a selective tissue debridement . . . unlike the other two debridements, which were subcutaneous tissue debridements." I smell another correction coming! Hehehee! ...

"She is alert and oriented to personal space..." ...

Santorum explaining earnestly that elderly Danish people have to wear arm bands that state "do not euthanize me." Pretty close to the misinformation spread on the board here about Obamacare. ...

"In terms of symptoms, the patient mentions that she has no issues with her smell perception. She does smell." ...

ASR: He resides with his bowels. What was actually said: He resides with his spouse. ...

Listening to Rush today. He announced his new product line of Rush Babe apparel and bump stickers. He urged the gals to order a t-shirt with Rush Babe logo to annoy liberals. Nice to know connies care enough about our opinion to spend their hard-earned money (or their hubby's) on a shirt to annoy us. I personally would not be annoyed but rather pity the wearer. Anyone over 20 with an opinion t shirt is sad enough, but one pledging allegiance to an obese misogynist is patheti ...

Next to us at the redlight was a police car from our town that had painted on the fender, "Tearfully donated by a drug dealer". Cute huh. ...

Bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning by reminding her Nelson Mandela got elected President after he was released from prison. ...

I have Vonage with the neat little feature where your voicemail is transcribed for you and emailed to you. Like VR for your voicemail. My name is Lori and every time I get a voicemail email it translates me name as "Lord." So every day I get all these messages that "Hi Lord, this is...." Talk about an ego boost! ...

Just had a doc dictate and at the end he says.. "The patient agrees with and understands the stated plan and there are no barriers to learning. Go Lakers!" It was unexpected and kind of gave me a giggle for the night and thought I would share. ...

I used to be an avid church-goer. Catholic, back when you went into a confessional to confess what you felt was a sin. Then one day, the priest (in all his glory) during a mass said, "I forgive you all for whatever you have done." That really got my goat. You didn't even have to feel bad about whatever it was you did, you were just now automatically forgiven, in one big swoop. I knew people in that church that were horrible to their children and spouses. So, I just knew that they went to c ...

...to promote his HC. Ads are on TV with Richard Simmons "dancing" to try to entice the millennials. I have now seen it all. What a patent waste of tax dollars. Kind of brings new meaning to the old adage of "tax and spend liberals." ...

actually. I know Bill is a popular democratic president and all but I would have thought he would have avoided that kind of thing especially if Hillary decides to run in '16. If Obama gets re-elected and things don't improve or, God forbid, get worse, that isn't gonna help Hillary much when she runs next. I'm curious on something else as well. Is there anyone on this board who voted for Obama but actually wanted Hillary? ...

terrorists. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!! Get a fricken clue!! ...

two evenings ago, my daughter and I were having a pretty good time together and so I asked her what she would feel about going to a support group called Alateen. She asked me what it was and I told her its a group of kids who have an alcoholic parent or family member that they have to deal with. I told her we could go once and check it out and she doesn't have to talk, just watch and listen. She got real quiet and I said "what do you think?" She said "I think that� ...

Hi all - While I feel like I did the right thing by not getting in any serious relationships whlie my kids were younger, now that they are busy teenagers (and with their dad part of the time), I am alone a lot. I know I am whining, but since I am not married and my kids are gone a lot, I am finding myself spending too much time alone. I have friends, but of course they have lives of their own. My son is 17 and hates for me to have company over. He is a good kid, never get ...

BTW, you do realize that our debt has gone OVER the $18 Trillion mark, don't you? It happened on the 15th, but that's another post.WASHINGTON (AP) — Federal agencies set a new record for improper payments last year, shelling out $125 billion in questionable benefits after years of declines. The payments included tax credits for families that didn't qualify, Medicare payments for treatments that might not have been necessary, and unemployment benefits for people who were act ...

Apparently it was a pig's breakfast. I can't imagine why anyone gives a rip about Hollywood in any shape, form or fashion. I have a neighbor who lives in a fantasy world, writes letters to George Clooney, movie magazines everywhere you look, etc. I don't get it. I mean they're people who dress up and pretend to be someone else, and for some reason believe that their half-baked political and social opinions are just terribly insightful and compelling, ...

Another why the government gets around the bidding for contracts. In summer 2008, the U.S. military had a major problem. More than 2,400 service members had reported being sexually assaulted the previous year, and the number was rising. Congress wanted immediate action. The Army responded by reaching out to a tiny firm in Delaware. It was an unlikely choice for such a sensitive task. The year before, United Solutions and Services, known as US2, had just three employees and sever ...

Donald Trump did what Republicans have begged their presidential candidate to do for months — lay out the case, from A-to-Z, against Hillary Clinton. Trump didn't hold back in a blistering speech Wednesday. He went through chapter and verse of every criticism — based in fact or conspiracy theory — against the Clintons. In sum, Trump said, Hillary Clinton may be "the most corrupt person ever to seek the presidency of the United States" and a "world-class liar." Donald Trump spe ...

From The Atlantic Magazine The Greatest Risk to the U.S. Economy Is Still the People in Charge of It The recession gave us a lost decade. Congress added a lost year. The budget wars since 2010 have cost us 12 months in job creation. DEREK THOMPSONOCT 17 2013, 8:03 AM ET 21in Share More Reuters The 16-day shutdown of the federal government cost the U.S. economy billions of dollars in lost economic activity, from an idle district, to lost personal income ...

This gave me a little chuckle

I saw a Dr. Lawyer. I thought, "dude, you're in the wrong profession." - Saugust

doc names - mt

in my office... - r

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