How do you handle this?

Posted: Mar 7, 2015

I would like some opinions as well as how you handle the below situation. My husband and I are very involved with friends, and we do a lot of dinners at one another's house. Often, it's just my husband and I and just one other couple. Two of the couples in the crowd have a viewpoint that we are a guest in their house, and we are not to help clean up. I understand that, but with their viewpoint, hubby and I feel we are staying too late because they still have to clean up, which could mean an hour or more for them at the end of a tiring day/evening of cooking and serving. We end up feeling like they'll be up until midnight cleaning up, so we end up kind of eating and running. Mind you, nobody here has live-in maid help or anything, so it's not like that. When hubby and I have people over, if people want to help clean up, I'm fine with that (but I am also fine with doing it myself while they're here). We can all jibber-jabber and have a visit while in the kitchen packing up the leftovers and getting the dishes in the dishwasher. From there, we can all gather again and chit-chat until people want to go home. The people who come over who do not allow us to help them clean up when they are at their house, do not help us clean up, but they don't stay long and there's plenty of time for me to clean up after they leave. I feel very uncomfortable going to peoples' house who will not let us so much as bring a plate into the kitchen after we're done. I think their viewpoint is coming from a good place, but potentially puts the guests in a bad spot to where they feel they have to run out the door shortly after dinner. I totally understand allowing the host/hostess to serve, and that's not a problem. I think that's nice and doesn't put anyone in an uncomfortable position. How do you guys handle your guests?;