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Celebrating the holidays
Posted: Nov 24, 2012
Just wondered what other's take is on the Christmas and Thanksgiving? I have always enjoyed and looked forward to these holidays coming around every year - The festive activities, cooking, having good food that normally wouldn't otherwise eat year around like sweet potatoe pie, pound cake and other family favorites. Normally I could hardly wait till Thanksgiving was over to put up the Christmas tree and decorate the house. Even with the kids being all up in age and one having a child of her own now, it's always been a BIG deal for me. Always looked forward to buying gifts and sending out Christmas cards etc. Now this year not so much :( My kids have all pretty much gone their seperate ways, doing their own thing and not really interested in spending the holidays with our side of the family, mainly their friends/husbands/boyfriend's families. I did'nt even hear from my oldest daughter on Thanksgiving, not even a text message and another one of my kids backed out of a family gathering last minute. It's pretty much me and my husband where I live and the bulk of his family is here (not too crazy about them and would rather not attend their functions). My family is all scattered about, but every year my parents and my children and I along with my husband always got together for Thanksgiving; Christmas has always been a holiday reserved for other things, as my parents like to travel and the kids like to do things on their own sometimes, but Thanksgiving was always the time we ALL got together. I am thinking now, that things have changed and I dont even know that I will put up my Christmas tree this year. I have changed my mind about making a Christmas dinner and have just resolved to treat it as another day. Anyone else out there in my shoes? or anyone able to relate?...feedback?..comments?;
I admit, it's kind of nice to NOT celebrate holidays... - wheres_my_job
[ In Reply To ..]I mean, the big, let's all get together, every last one of us, and spend 7 or 8 hours together stuffing ourselves, then have the football game on upstairs and video games on downstairs! And all the men do all the talking, because, well, men are more important than women! You womenfolk, sit quietly with your hands folded while the menfolk talk! (Not that bad) (no wait a minute, kind of it is).
This Thanksgiving, I made Thanksgiving dinner just for myself and my parents - we didn't eat it sitting down together, and that's okay! Then Friday my sister and her (nonabusive) son studying music came by, and it was a nice visit - why, no overbearing beer-guzzling and martini-swilling grouchy irritable dominate-the-conversation males there. Everybody got a word in edgewise! Imagine!
Anyway, my situation is different than yours - I love putting up Christmas trees, etc, and it's fun to see your friends (the few that I have) - you know, when a bunch of people all get together, it's not always that much fun - all of the ugliness of the past (if there is an ugly past, and in my family, there is) starts seeping through - the alcohol, the irritability, the sexism and the abuse....a big drag.
Anyway, that is my story. I'm looking forward to Christmas precisely BECAUSE there will be no "let's all get together" rah-rah BS.
I ignore the holidays altogether. - I am
[ In Reply To ..]not anti-social, a hermit, ungrateful, a Scrooge, crazy or anything else... at some point I just stopped buying into the hype surrounding this time of year. And you know something? As soon as Jan 2 rolls around I don't feel like I have missed a thing except a whole lot of hassle and drama. I do still, however, wish all my fellow MTs (I guess MEs nowadays) and everyone I come across happy holidays, no matter how you choose to celebrate.
I see both of your points. Maybe I am just - feeling sorry for myself because
[ In Reply To ..]I have always had the pleasure of putting up the Christmas tree and buying gifts for my kids. Then once they came of age, I decided well now I have my grand-daughter at least to buy for and decorate the house for her if nothing else and of course having the kids drop in and out.
Unfortunately, even though we live in the same city, I never get to see my grandbaby or spend anytime with her. My daugher hardly ever brings her around and I had to beg her to take her to church with me one Sunday. It really is heart-breaking and I guess a part of me is just throwing in the towel as far as that goes. I mean putting up the Christmas tree and not having my grandbaby around to share it with will just depress me.
I have always thought of holidays being about family and friends and since my family right now dont seem to be interested, then I figured to heck with it. I have my husband and he'll just try to pressure me to spend time with his family, but it's just not the same. He has not even mentioned bringing up the Christmas tree or anything. So I guess I will resolve to just not celebrate this year. I will treat it as another day.
that's just so sad - I always celebrate
[ In Reply To ..]Even when I've had no one to visit (moved to a new town a couple of weeks before Christmas), I still celebrated, put up a little tree on an end table. I went to the candy store and got chocolates wrapped in little bity boxes that looked like presents, got a toy sled with Santa in it, you get the idea. I made a festive meal for myself, opened my own presents that I wrapped for myself and then went out to a movie.
Celebrating is not just a day to celebrate others; for me, it is a day to fill with joy even just for me!
Things changed for a while for me the year my dad died. He died a week after Thanksgiving and that was the ONLY year I had missed getting together with my family in my life. It was hard to celebrate Thanksgiving for a while, but I realized I am worthy of having a joyful day ...well, just because I am worth it! Don't let this be the end to having a festive season. Just spend some time doing something for you! And if you want to include hubby, invite him!
ouch - xray MT
[ In Reply To ..]How old is the granddaughter? I think it's horrible that ANYTHING comes between a child and their grandparent. How about snail-mailing a kid-friendly invitation to them, just to drop by to make or have cookies or something like that? Or to string popcorn if she is old enough. Then just have your own favorite decoration or 2 out, plus something the little one can put up or play with? Maybe your daughter could use something in black-and-white (or red-and-green?) in front of her face to remind her that making another good memory for her own daughter is important, however small. Then when they leave, knock back some tequila!!
Christmas - GR8MT
[ In Reply To ..]Someone I know was brought up going to nursing homes and singing on Christmas. After all, celebrating the birth of Jesus ought to be about doing for others as well as having a big, fun party. Maybe helping out at a soup kitchen or shelter, preparing a Christmas dinner for others who need it. You would go home feeling wonderful.
As for myself this Christmas, my husband have recently moved in with his mother because she is getting some short-term memory loss and could really need someone around with her as she rattles around in her 5-bedroom house. She has mentioned that she needs more cold-weather sweaters or tops, so hubby and I went out on Black Friday and I found enough sweaters and sweatshirts for her to wear 2 weeks straight!!! Also, at Walmart the night before, I found a velour pantset for 10 bucks. I know, I kind of overdid, but it was so fun picking them out. We will have a Christmas celebration just for the 3 of us here in MIL's home. She will cook, I will work my shift, and hubby will manage the TV!
Thank you all so much - Xray MT, GR8MT and - "I always celebrate"...see msg
[ In Reply To ..]Well my husband brought the Christmas tree up out the basement after church on Sunday and we put it up together. I had originally told him I was not going to put up the Christmas tree this year and he said "Yes You Are." I am feeling a little bit better after reading your comments.
I enjoyed all your feedback - Putting up your own Christmas tree, opening your own presents, making your own festive meal and the one about giving back and doing for others such as helping out at a homeless shelter and cooking dinner for those less fortunate.
The one really cracked me up about celebrating with the mother-in-law, while you sit and type and hubby manages the TV. I enjoyed all of your comments and you all made some really great points.
I was down the day I posted this, but a lot of it has to do with my Children not coming around and me not being able to have time with my only grandbaby. But you all helped me look on the brighter side of things. At least I have my husband.
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