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At a loss for words

Posted: Dec 6, 2012

Okay . . I admit it. I have tried everything and it's not working. Here goes:

My friend and I have known each other since kindergarten, literally. We get along great and support one another during tough times. I value her friendship more than I can say. Like most friendships, however, there are downfalls. Here's ours:

For the past several years almost every time we are out (or at least it seems that way) whenever we are shopping and she sees anything with a cat on it, (greeting card, collectible, etc.) I have to hear her nasty tone of voice about how she hates cats. She knows I am an animal lover, and that nothing in the world is more important to me. I have told her before that it hurts me, and yet she deliberately points it out. Today it happened again. We were lookling at the little tins for Christmas that hold gift cards. They had several kinds. She picked up one with three Christmas stockings on it, and a little kitten in each stocking. She got nasty and threw it down saying, "Well, I CERTAINLY don't want anything with a CAT on it!" She gets downright nasty, and many times makes a point of saying how she hates them. Our local shelter now has over 500 cats waiting for adoption. She knows this is where my heart is. I have approached her so many times about this, and today did the same. My family (nieces and sister) have beautiful cats that are loved and cherished by all of us.

I guess my point is this: Why make a point of telling me time after time how she hates them when she knows how it hurts me. Two years ago she lost her beloved Golden Retriever, and still cries for her. I completely identify with that. I cried for two years when my Scottie, Maggie died. How would she feel if I constantly bashed the Golden to her (which obviously I would not do) time and time again and told her how I hated them. Why would a friend keep doing something that she knows hurts me?

Can anyone offer any suggestions as how to handle this? I literally cringe when we are looking at anything anymore, because I know what will happen. It ruins every shopping trip for me.

This summer I purchased an A.S.P.C.A. license plate frame with their motto: "We are their voice." She saw it and told me that she just HAS to have one. So far she has not purchased one, and I don't think she has the right to display it. She does not stand for what the A.S.P.C.A. represents. They are not selective when it comes to saving the lives of animals. Each one is special and precious.

Sorry this is so long, but I have heard her nasty remarks for too long on this subject. She could simply put the item down and look through the rest which are more to her liking. I don't give a hoot if she likes cats or not . . . If that's her mentally she can have it. I am just tired of her deliberately making a point of it to me.

Thank for any advice you can offer.

;

I understand what you are saying - P

[ In Reply To ..]
because huge animal lover here also. My daughter was visiting me about a week ago and while she was here some deers came out in my back yard, the first I had seen this year and I was thrilled. She stated, good thing your grandson wasn’t here because he's shoot them. My response to her was we live within the city limits and also in a neighborhood where you are not allowed to shoot animals and that if he did that I would call the police on him. I said if he wanted to hunt, let him go out in the country somewhere. She knows I am totally against killing animals and to me that was just like a little dig in my side. Did you ever think about when your friend says something nasty about the felines you could say something to the effect of how would she feel if a person said that about the Golden Retriever. Would that really send her off the cliff or maybe jolt her a little to understand your point of view? I love all animals but have a batch of kitties and could not be happier. Would you try mentioning or not want to do that?

Does she have any other pets besides the one she lost? - Saddened for you.

[ In Reply To ..]
Let me say I am not a pet owner so this is coming from someone who has no animal ties. I have had pets when I was younger but once I got married that ended because my husband has terrible allergies to anything with fur. So, I am wondering does your friend have any other pets besides the one she lost? If not, then maybe she is jealous of the bond you have with your pet(s) when she doesn't have her beloved pet anymore and this is her way of dealing with it. That's just one thought. Maybe her age plays a part (I have no idea who you are or how old she is, but just saying the hormones maybe messing with her attitude). I am just throwing a couple of ideas out there, but I do know from experience on other levels that sometimes when a person feels insecure or is missing something they will belittle others to cover up their insecurity or their feelings of loss. Kind of "I'm not happy, so I don't want you to be happy" type thing. Neither of these may be the case for your friend. True friendship is hard to come by and it would be sad to have someone you have loved and been friends with so long to just not be a part of your life anymore. Then again, sometimes change is necessary in order to preserve our own sanity and if you are always miserable going places with her at some point you may have to make that decision before you reach of point of resenting her for how she makes you feel. I might add make sure you aren't taking things too sensitive-it doesn't sound like you are, but I know I have said things in passing to friends that didn't sound like what I meant or them to me and one of us ended up offended because we took it the wrong way or were having an emotional moment ourselves and blew out of proportion what was said. Like I said, that doesn't sound like the case, but we always should examine ourselves first. Also, be careful that you aren't always bragging about your pets to her-that might be triggering her bad feelings as well. For instance, I have a friend whose son does not make good grades in school, but my son makes excellent grades. I noticed any time I mentioned how well my son was doing she got very quiet. I am proud of my son, but I am careful now not to brag about his accomplishments around certain people because I know it will be hurtful and cause problems between us and in their home as well. The same idea of someone bragging about having a baby to someone who has no children but wants one. You have beloved pets-your friend lost hers-so she is hurt and not dealing with it well. Like I said, none of this may apply, but just a few options to think about.

My thanks to you - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
She currently has one dog. She had to put her other two dogs down two years ago within a few months time. I cried with her and even wrote poems for each of them. We share a mutal love of dogs, but as I indicated she always injects her hatred of cats time and time again, knowing it hurts me. I asked her a few years ago when she did this what her reason was for hating them. She simply said, "My mother never liked cats." Again, I would like to say I am not trying to change her mind, and God knows she has the right to her feelings. I guess I was brought up to respect others, and not to deliberately hurt someone. To say they don't even deserve to be rescued hurts me more than I can say. To hear that once would be bad enough . . to hear it for years is another matter again. I have no cats of my own, but family members do. My stepfather and I have a dog and a parrot. My friend and I talk about our pets and share many laughs telling stories about them. I will never give her up for this, but I just wanted some advice on what to say the next time it comes up. Thanks to those of you who understand. I truly appreciate your comments.

oh dear! - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm sorry your friend is so passive aggressive with you. Since you have told her it hurts you and she persists, you might want to ask her why she continues to make these anti-feline statements. If that doesn't work, tell her you don't want to hear it anymore. It's a matter of mutual respect at this point, and her continual crossing of the line is becoming pathological.

A few thoughts - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
1. Have you ever sat her down and ASKED her why she hates cats so much? Maybe she had a horrible cat episode that you don't know about.

2. Do you go on and on about your cats? If you think no, are you really sure? You may be/have without thinking about it, and maybe she's tired of hearing about them. Her I hate cats rant may be in defense of your over abundance of cat enthusiasm.

3. I was most of the way with you until you said she doesn't have the right to support ASPCA because she doesn't like cats. How absolutely Juvenile, Rude, and completely self-serving. I suggest you run that thought by your shelter or the ASPCA and see what they think of it.

That's great that you love cats. A lot of people don't and have the right not to.

I personally don't like cats. I can take them or leave them. My husband is allergic to them, so we can't have any in the house even if I had a desire to get one. His siblings though all have cats, as does his mother, and are willing to understand the fact that he doesn't visit them as much as he could because of their cats. We are not going to force them to get rid of their cats nor are they going to force us to come over and subject him to an allergic reaction.

By the way--we give to the ASPCA and have been doing so for years. Should we not now because we don't care for cats?

I think you're making a big stink about nothing, especially with such a long time friend.

We all have the ability to control our own emotions and thoughts (hopefully). What we do NOT have control of are the emotions and thoughts of other people.

Right now, you have 2 options--let it go, or let your friend go.

my third option - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
My third option is to ignore your insulting remarks to me,a total stranger to you. It may interest you to know that she has made the remark to me that if she ever wins the Powerball or the Megamillions that she plans to do what I would love to do, with one exception. She said she would love to buy ground and hire a staff to take in abused and strays, but she would absolutely rescue NO CATS. Is this what you think the A.S.P.C. A. stands for? Does their motto say "We are a dog's voice?" They work tirelessly to save and give a second chance to every single animal on earth. The absolute nerve of your rudeness.

It's her right - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
There is no mandate (except, apparently, in your world) for some one to love, like, or even tolerate cats or any other animal.

Before you jump all over me for that statement, I will say there is a moral and very human obligation to treat animals with respect and care. I believe animal abusers should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law, and that includes people who abuse cats--even though I don't care for cats.

Again, and I will stand by this until the end of time, so ranting at me about it will not change my view: I think it's extremely selfish of you to say your friend cannot and should not support the ASPCA because she doesn't like cats. That idea does not support the animals and actually takes supportive funding away from THEM--the animals that need help, do you NOT realize this???

I'm sure the ASPCA would appreciate your sentiment--you should really ask them what they think.

As for her idea for a shelter, if she doesn't Like cats, why should she open a shelter for them? Again, there is no mandate for her to do so, except in your own limited world view.

Pretend you have a vegetable garden--what would you plant in it? Would you plant vegetables that you don't particularly care for and would never eat or would you plant vegetables that you love and enjoy? It's the same principle.

I think you need to find a mirror and take a really long look at yourself.

Name calling - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
If you had a point to make, then make it. Stooping to name calling says a lot about you, too. You read what you want to, and refuse to acknowledge that the whole point of my post was not that she does not like cats, but the fact that she keeps jabbing me and hurting me on the subject. There are a lot of things people don't like, but most people have the intelligence to deal with it more respectfully.

I would really like to know - anon

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What "name" I called you, because I didn't call you anything.

In your original post to me - Christine

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I was called juvenile, rude, and completely self-serving from a person who couldn't find me in a crowd of one. I don't hate you. If you donate to the A.S.P.C.A. God bless you. You don't need to love a certain species to do that. I would encourage you to get others to do the same. I guess there are levels of commitment, and mine to this organization is 100%. They are in my will as the sole beneficiary. I have no children. Maybe I am over the top on the license plate thing, but just give me a minute to explain. When my stepfather and I put the A.S.P.C.A. frame on my car I was literally in tears. My friends and family know there is nothing closer to my heart. The friend I spoke of in reference to the cats boasts of being an "animal lover." She loves dogs, and only certain breeds. This, again, is her right. When I display the frame with the motto of the A.S.P.C.A. I don't take that lightly. It is telling the world that I am behind everything they stand for. My friend is not. I am in tears as I write this to you. In my home town a cat was thrown from a fifth-floor apartment because the boyfriend didn't like the litter box in the house. A precious West Highland Terrier ( I lost mine in 2003) was thrown in a cold, wet trash can after she was beaten and a large stick rammed down her throat that actually dislocated her shoulder. Cats are set on fire, they are deliberately hit by cars, and when my friend voices her opinion that they hold no value in my mind's eye I 500 of them now at my local shelter in cages. I love my friend, believe me. My first commitment is to God; my second is to my family and in being a local friend, and to helping to stop the senseless abuse and cruelty to each and every animal. I can't imagine any of the dedicated people and doctors who give their time and talent to this wondeful organization turning their noses up at certain animals in need. When I stand for something I stand tall. Again, I meant no harm to you and was shocked by your statement in your first post. Thanks again for supporting what means the most to me. My only prayer is that one day I will be with the pets we have lost. I truly wish you peace. I hope you have a good holiday season. If you read all of this, thanks for that, too.

Please excuse errors in typing - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
I meant to say I see the 500 cats at the shelter. Also meant to say I am a loyal friend, and not a local friend.

I think you should put as much passion into - your friend

[ In Reply To ..]
as you do in defending yourself, working yourself into hysterics even.

Good grief, if you are not old enough to deal with a friend with a flaw, then you should stick to your kitties.

It seems like you may be the problem Christine - gee whiz

[ In Reply To ..]
The way you act in reply to other posts indicates you are the one with the problem, not you friend.

You have some nerve saying she has no right to donate to the ASPCA because she doesn't like cats. There is a difference between not wanting to see animals harmed, and not liking a particular animal.

I agree with what the other poster said, maybe you should take a long look in the mirror because you seem to be the one with a problem.

I imagine you are one of those people who talk incessently about their cats because it's the most entertaining part of your life, and your friend is sick of hearing it!

You people seriously need to read all posts - before posting SM

[ In Reply To ..]
She clearly stated she does not have cats of her own, so I imagine she's not going on and on about her cats she doesn't have. Yes, I believe she was wrong in saying this lady shouldn't donate to ASPCA, but seriously, if you had a "friend" who intentionally said things that she KNOWS are going to hurt your feelings, you would be perturbed too! I mean, she threw the thing down on the ground! That is crazy! Who, outside of my 2-year-old, acts like that?

I think you should lower her status from "friend" - to merely "acquaintance".

[ In Reply To ..]
This woman, unless she's taking some kind of cruel sarcasm way too far, is too mean and insensitive to be called a true friend. Her hatred of cats sounds toxic and pathological.

Too funny - loves people

[ In Reply To ..]
Well if that isn't just the epitome of crazy cat lady syndrome... let's dump our friends because they dare to voice dislike of the oh-so-precious kitties! And not just real kitties, but pictures of kitties too!

How horrible! Yep, those awful people who aren't blessed with crazy cat lady syndrome sure are toxic and pathological!

Christmas - calimt

[ In Reply To ..]
I would take your friendhship through Christmas and buy everything you can for her that has a cat on it...cat poster, cat mug, cat hat, cat in the hat book, cat bag....even get her some cat nip......then don't call her any more. If she is your "real" friend she will get the hint and call you. If not, find another friend that even if they don't like cats, they aren't a smarta$$$ about it and can live and let live.

My point exactly - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
I told her yesterday I should buy her a cat for Christmas, and when she fell in love with it after giving it some time I would never let her hear the end of it. This was said with a smile on my face, but you get the point. Like I said in my original post, if she doesn't like cats, so be it. Just don't throw things and keep telling me how she hates them.

OP: Please, don't give your friend a cat, please. sm - Albert Schweitzer

[ In Reply To ..]
I hope you are kidding about this. Now, I am starting to question the validity of your original post. Cats are living beings, not toys. This is not something to joke about.

She was just kidding. She obviously cares about animals, - and Im sure would never do that. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
XX

Cat hater - Cat lover

[ In Reply To ..]
I think that's hilarious! "even get her some cat nip."

Thanks for the chuckle!

I'd dump her as she obviously doesn't care how you feel. True friends are hard to come by, but she doesn't sound like someone who's your friend She sounds like an AH.

Can you imagine if OP's "friend" were to behave - the same way about a human baby? sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Suppose she didn't care so much for human infants, and when out shopping, did the same tirade every time she saw a baby stroller or the OP shopped for toys? "Eeew! Babies suck... I detest them!" "I HATE babies!" "Babies SMELL! They're NOISY! They pee, poo, and barf all over the place!"

Even if they disliked babies, most people would have the class and common sense not to spew about it in front of their friends who have them.

It doesn't matter if the pet is a cat, a dog, a monkey, a ferret, or a tarantula. Even it one doesn't care for one or more of those things (in my case it would be tarantulas!), at least one should have the decency not to disrespect a friend just because they DO happen to like that species.

off the hook and uncalled for - nm

[ In Reply To ..]

Too Funny, folks like you are why so many of us - prefer animals (even cats!) to humans.

[ In Reply To ..]

My Thoughts - See Msg

[ In Reply To ..]
My first thought is that this "friend" is ticked off at you for something and is trying to get you back. For what, I'm not sure, but I would have to wonder if you get all bent out of shape when she says she hates cats, or you say things like, "how can you not like cats?" It is a person's right to like or dislike anything they wish and that kind of remark would surely set me on the defensive and tick me off.

My MIL used to say, "how can you not like tea?" I just don't like tea, I like coffee. We got into a back-and-forth, stupid dysfunctional thing where I would cut down her tea, and she would cut down my coffee. Could that be going on here??

My other thought is that she's jealous that you have something to love. Did this start after she lost her dog? If so, that would be the answer.

I would zip your lip and not talk about anything that has to do with cats. Don't point out cute cat things in the store or a cute cat or cute cat anythings.

I know some people who all they talk about are their pets (whatever it may be), and it gets old and makes people think it's the only thing in life they value, over their family and friends. It's not a nice message to send. Not saying you're doing that, just asking you to step back and answer that in your own mind.

I think you are onto something here - by george

[ In Reply To ..]
If the value of my friend is based on that they would share their lottery winnings with me, well, I think I'd stick to the felines. Maybe the OP does make digs that the friend does not like and is retaliating. I don't get the feeling that the OP is completely balanced.

Well, Hard to know - If she's imbalanced-see msg

[ In Reply To ..]
I don't know if the OP is imbalanced or not. I just would want to hear the other person's side of the story.

If the OP puts her friend down for NOT loving cats, then the friend may be on the defensive and getting her back in a dysfunctional way.

There are high and mighty animal-lover people like that. If you don't like my cat (dog, goldfish, worm) you are useless. I have no clue what the OP is.

We never know the other side of things on here, so we shouldn't jump to conclusions one way or the other.

I don't think she's imbalanced. I think she is sensitive - (or else she wouldnt want to - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
find some way to maintain this friendship, despite their differences. And her relationship with her cats also points at empathy and sensitivity, as well, since felines are a unique species, with a different and more nuanced form of communication. To communicate well with cats, and to get them to behave as we'd like them to (yes, it IS possible to train a cat!), you have to be quiet and extremely observant. Training a dog is in no way, shape or form the same. I actually find dealing with and training cats more comparable to handling young horses, than it is to handling dogs. Neither is better than the other, just very, very DIFFERENT.

Thanks for your comments - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
Actually,biting my tongue is what I have done for years. As I stated earlier, we both have dogs and love them and laugh and tell stories about them. That just makes up a very small part of our conversations. My sister also told me one time (she knows my friend well) that it is deliberate, but not sure why. I know she is terribly unhappy in her marriage, and I am single and come and go as I please. Her grown children cause a lot of stress in her life as well, and I have none of that. We actually get along great, except for these remarks when we are out shopping. I will never, ever give her up as a friend. We have known each other since age 5. She has stood by me more times than I can count, and I have done the same for her.

I think she is jealous - Of your life, See msg

[ In Reply To ..]
Yeah, I think she's jealous of you/your life. If that's her only fault, so be it. Not worth losing her over.

For the record,just because someone has been a friend since the age of 5, you aren't obligated to anything. People change dramatically from the age of 5 into adult-hood. My husband has a friend like that, and some of what they do is dysfunctional for grown-ups. Kind of like maybe their back to age 10 or 12, competing, who's the best. It's kind of comical. It's not a horrible relationship, but my husband keeps his distance a bit (the other guy is way more dysfunctional than my husband) and just stays in touch to see how he's doing and things.

You're right - I think this probably goes both ways, - to a certain extent. Still, I think - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
is that on both sides, pet-lover and pet-hater, in order to be friends, each has to agree to disagree.

And if they choose to talk about those differences, then each has to be sensitive enough to the other person's point of view that it doesn't turn into an argument.

I think this becomes particularly true, the more passionate each person is about his or her belief. Just as people with different political affiliations or religions can quickly go from conversation to shouting-match, the same can happen with pet species preferences.

Meow - Maria

[ In Reply To ..]
I have a couple of people who do the same thing to me. I am a cat lover and they never stop insulting me. I even had one send me an Email with a kitten holding a butcher knife. Sick. I am not sure why people like to insult. I had a friend come for dinner and after the dinner was over he got up and shook his hands like he was having some kind of fit and said he cannot stay in a house where there was a cat, like we were dirty or something. What an insult considering how clean I am. I do not need people like this in my life unless they want to grow up. I told both these people they do not have to come to my home anymore because if you insult my cat you insult me. End.

Dislike of cats - Animal lover

[ In Reply To ..]
I think your friend is suffering from depression and something else is bothering her though; something she feels you are doing, so she is taking it out on you, or is upset you have something she would like to have,such as happiness perhaps? My husband is definitely like your friend, and everytime I say I like something, he says the opposite; however, he has done this since having open-heart surgery, but he can be very cruel with his words. My daughter-in-law despises cats, and will not come to my daughter's home because of that. She has 2 adorable cats, and a clean house, but she claims she cannot be in the house, so everytime we have to go see them, which is an hour away. Finally, she started taking an antihistamine and didn't hesitate to tell us how she felt by taking it, which made us all feel horrible. I do know there are jealousy issues there because of the relationship I have with my son. These people have issues in life, which is not your fault. Just by hearing about this makes me believe your friend is very, very unhappy. Perhaps, you can sit down with her and talk this out and clear the air. I agree with the other poster that said not to talk about any cats, which makes her see red, and will make you feel better too by not having to deal with her reaction. I do feel sorry for you..this is not a normal thing to do, and if this keeps up, I would distance myself from her, which I know is not something you want to do, but this is making your life miserable. I wish you all the best!

I never say the word - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
You are right. My friend is terribly unhappy, and refuses to get out of her marriage because of financial issues. I assure you, I never, ever, ever mention the word cat to her. That is the last thing I would mention around her because I am so tired of hearing the negativity. She brings it up herself when we are shopping and only then. I also think she is angry that she lost her Golden Retriever two years ago.

She has called me crying about her marriage, and the only thing I can do is to try to encourage in any way I can. I know she loves me as a friend, and she proves this time and time again. I honestly think she is just a cat hater, of which there are sadly many. She has a short fuse, and when things are bad at home it really comes out. She stood by me during my mother's illness and death, through the loss of my former pets, and countless other times. I just wish she would make the break with her husband. I think she would be a new person. Thanks so much for your input. The only reason I posted in the first place was for some advice as to how to talk to her about it in a nice way. Thanks again.

True! The surest way to "attack" someone is to - go after something they love. nm

[ In Reply To ..]
XXX

Maybe do not go shopping - See msg

[ In Reply To ..]
If this only happens when you go shopping, don't go shopping with her. Go out to lunch or the movies. And no cat movies!

For some reason, too many people think it's "cool" to - hate cats, and "uncool" to love them. nm

[ In Reply To ..]

"There are two means of refuge from the misery of life..music and cats" sm - Albert Schweitzer

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Personally, I would never put up with such comments from a "friend". Have often thought it odd when people state they hate cats. Don't think I have ever heard someone say they hate dogs. Hey, it's fine if they don't like cats, but hate is an awfully strong word to use. I have both cats and dogs. Sounds like she enjoys hurting your feelings for some sick reason.

My take - grits

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Please forgive me if I repeat something someone else has said - there are some strong opinions on this issue.

First off, you aren't responsible for her behavior, and don't let anyone tell you that you are. Even if you wore your cats as a living suit and talked about nothing else, she is still in control of how she reacts to you.

It's my belief that nobody does anything without getting some kind of reward for it. You have to think what your friend is getting out of her behavior. Does she like to see you squirm? Is she, as others have suggested, jealous of you and not mature enough to deal with it as an adult would? Her behavior is passive-aggressive with the emphasis on aggressive.

I'm a huge fan of talking. You've asked her why she doesn't like cats, but I don't think that's the issue. She's free to like cats or not, and I haven't seen anything from you to suggest that you're forcing cats on her in any way. You need to catch her in a good mood (if that's possible) tell her again that it hurts you when she mentions her severe hatred of cats, and ask her why she feels the need to share her opinion with you at every opportunity. Don't get emotional, and don't let her palm you off with excuses or change the subject. If you value her friendship, you owe it to her and yourself to have this conversation.

You can base the rest of my interactions with her on how she answers you. It seems that her hatred of cats and need to express it trumps her friendship with you. Find out why that is and if you can expect it to change. If not, well, she's made her choice. Again, she's in control of her actions. All you can do is make her aware of how she comes off and give her a chance to change.

Alternately - grits

[ In Reply To ..]
...you could just project supreme boredom when she throws it at you again. "Oh, are you still on about that? Yeah, I'm really familiar with your opinion," or something like that, in the most flat, bored tone imaginable. Nobody likes to think of themselves as tedious and predictable.

Now, this is also passive-aggressive, so I don't recommend it as a first option, but it might be what works.

Good point - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
That is what I plan to do next. In reading all the replies (minus, of course, the usual "hate mail" we see on this board) I am glad to see most of you get what my issue was from the beginning.. . not that she likes or does not like cats, but why I have to hear it time and time again, and with such a nasty tone. I agree with the post that says she is getting something from doing it. I think your idea of acting totally bored is a good one. Thanks!! I might also mention in reply to the post expressing fear I might buy her a cat for Christmas, that she is the last person on earth I would buy a cat. Anyone who has read my posts regarding my devotion to animals surely would know that. Thanks for all the sincere replies!

Good luck! - grits

[ In Reply To ..]
:)

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My best best friend, mother, advisor, etc., died on 3/6 for which I was not prepared. This is my first loss in 53 years besides my cat. I am devastated, cry constantly, I miss her so very much. I pick up the phone to call her and realize that she is not here any longer. I don't know what to do...I am lost without her. I know I need to see someone. Please let me know how others feel and felt!!!! ...

Jan 16, 2011
One of my best friends has a daughter (her only child) who has been fighting cancer for 10 years. The daughter is soon to turn 43. My friend called me tonight telling me she and her son-in-law put the daughter on Hospice this past week. Her battle is soon to come to an end. The original site of the tumor was in the left neck. She mentioned to her dentist a numbness of the left side of her tongue. He sent her for tests and the tumor was found. She has been th ...

Jun 24, 2012
After more than 40 years of MT'ing, I have lost 80% hearing in left ear and 10% in right ear. This, according to doc, is definitely due to constant sound assault on my ears for all of these years. I now need dual hearing aids; the left ear to compensate for severe hearing loss and the right ear to prevent hearing loss. I will be getting them within the next week. My real concern is whether I will be able to wear either my in-the-ear headset or over-the-head head ...

Jan 30, 2015
Anybody had this or know of someone who did? About 1.5 years ago I got a sinus infection, turned into bronchitis and I was sick for seriously four months. Now, still to this day I have very little sense of smell. My sense of smell may come back in very short spurts, and by short I mean 10-15 seconds. I may catch a whiff of perfume or something and then right back to zero smell. I can stick something as strong as coffee under my nose and smell nothing. I can st ...

Apr 21, 2011
We are having to cut down spending. I lost my job due to an injury and my husband makes 12 an hour (I was the main provider making twice that). We are having to eliminate things and limit our spending, which has not been fun, but we have managed. It is now getting down to crunch time though, where other things will have to be eliminated. I already count all my pennies at the grocery store and fly into a panic when it goes over a little over budget, and keep my eyes glued ...

Jun 02, 2010
Has anyone ever been successful using Metamucil as an adjunct to weight loss? Any thoughts or advice? I need to lose 20 pounds and have started eating lots more fruits and vegies. Also, this sounds ridiculous, but I would walk every night if I did not have this one small hill to climb up to get to nice straight stretches. It is like I have a phobia or brain glitch about this one dumb thing. Any hints on how to overcome something this petty? I have asthma and ...

Feb 24, 2013
and if so, were you successful on it? My physician has said he could prescribe it for me but just would like to have some feedback on this. TIA ...

Mar 01, 2013
Just wondering if anyone has tried this and if it works? ...

Oct 04, 2014
In the last 18 years, I've gained 45 pounds. I've taken phentermine twice (purchased on line), which worked very well. I also did the Atkins diet which worked well. I tried Curves for six months but only lost five pounds. Can anybody recommend an OTC appetite supressant that's been successful for you? I hate the side effects of phentermine (horrible insomnia and dry mouth) and can't get a doctor to prescribe it for me anyway. I do realize fewer calories and exercise result in ...

May 13, 2015
Years ago I lost quite a bit of weight by substituting a weight loss shake for my lunch every day - now, going through menopause, I was looking at Slim Fast, but it is pure sugar so I was wondering if anybody knew of one that is made up of something more natural. I like the powder to mix with milk rather than the premade ones - they are too expensive for me. Anybody have a suggestion? ...

Oct 22, 2016
For just a moment, lose the hate. We simply cannot continue on the course this nation has been following for the last 8 years, and that is ALL that Clinton offers. Look - I understand. But, please - THINK FOR ONE SECOND INSTEAD OF KNEE-JERK REACTING!! Can we go on as we have been going on? Can we have even bigger government? More regulations? More taxes? Less reason for entrepreneurs to launch businesses? Higher unemployment? Yes, I know. The gimme-gimme-gimmes wil ...

Mar 19, 2010
Here's the situation. I have been separated from my husband for about six months. In February, he had major knee surgery, reconstruction of ligaments with cadaver ligaments, etc. He was instructed no weightbearing for eight weeks. He has no family in the area and his best friend whom he'd been living with basically didn't show up to pick him up from the hospital. We've maintained a friendly seperation and since I was his "next of kin," I was at t ...

Oct 14, 2010
Hi, all. I was diagnosed last year with hearing loss and this year went back for test and there is a significant drop. They are doing a couple of tests to rule out Meniere's Disease at the end of this month. No matter what, I am going to have to get something to help me continue in this field or go with another job (nursing, coding, etc.). I am working with the Ability Works in my state and they will help me get equipment like hearing aids, specialized heatsets, etc. ...

Mar 12, 2012
PRESCOTT, Ark. - When their older brother Jeremy died in Afghanistan, Ben and Beau Wise did what loyal brothers and soldiers do. They stood solemnly in uniform at his memorial, laid red roses in front of his picture, and Ben spoke bravely to a chapel full of loved ones who came to mourn.Soldiers themselves, Ben and Beau knew what their fallen brother had experienced and seen. They knew the difficulties of being a warrior and a devoted husband, and what a testament it was to Jeremy’s charac ...

May 18, 2010
Hi Folks - can't seem to get motivated to stay on a diet or exercise. HELP!!! I have metabolic syndrome and all the crap that goes with it -but the past few weeks I am just unmotivated. I am a member of Curve's and haven't been there. I need encouragement. Has anyone tried the Zumba tapes? Just want to know I'm not alone and need encouragement. Any advice/support is more than welcome..... ...

Nov 18, 2012
Just want to fit into a suit for my daughters graduation next month and need to lose about 12 pounds quick! What has worked good and fast. I am exercising and dieting already also. Any tips? (even with foundation wear I still need to squeeze! lol!!) Thanks! ...

Feb 23, 2017
Please pray for my daughter who has had to have her baby removed at 3 months old because it had no heart beat. She is, of course, very saddened by this loss. It is her second baby and was not expecting this being as her first baby was born in good health. Thanks so much for your prayers. ...

Mar 06, 2016
I'm catching up on medical problems after being without insurance for years. For the past year I have had weight loss, red eyes and a fine tremor at times. TSH was normal but T3 & T4 were very high. I'd been hypothyroid most of my life (35 years), now diagnosed with hyperthyroidism & Grave's disease. Had thyroid uptake 24 hour scan. The endocrinologist said that in 18 years of practice, the highest thyroid uptake he had seen was 60% in a patie ...

Nov 05, 2010
Sarah Palin Complains About Loss of Privacy While Being Filmed for Reality TV Show Episode One of the much-discussed Sarah Palin reality TV show, Sarah Palin's Alaska, has debuted to the world. Palin kicks things off by lamenting the invasion of her family's privacy that she says occurred when journalist Joe McGinniss spent the summer in the house next door. Our behavior has certainly changed this summer because of this new neighbor. I think it is an intrusion, an invasion ...

Jan 01, 2013
nm ...

Jul 18, 2014
x ...

Mar 15, 2011
weight numbers and stats from January (when I started with another on-line program)? I have to see my totals, or I get discouraged. Thank you. ...

Oct 06, 2012
Note that this simply puts the prior law in effect. Individual counties will have the old right to decide whether to keep their polls open that Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Still, another victory for Democracy and our founding principle of "one man, one vote." This will, of course, make a difference to elderly voters, especially, who depend on family, friends, church vans to be able to take them to vote. ...

Jun 21, 2017
She needs to go to Harry's Retirement Home. ...

Oct 23, 2009
not as funny as some on here, but it made me giggle a little, mostly because I am fixing junk like this every other word and it is sad :( Nore like a crazy lady chuckle! ...

May 03, 2014
My step-father and I have always been very close. He started dating my mother almost 44 years ago. My mom died almost five years ago. I have taken care of him, and visited and ate with him almost every day. I moved in with him a few years back when he had a total hip replacement, and then had a seizure and lost his license for six months. I did literally everything for him. Since mom died I devoted my life to him. In fact, I ...

Feb 29, 2012
Remember folks, these are Obama's words. On June 24, 2008, Obama said in demonizing Bush: What Washington has done is what Washington always does – it’s peddled false promises, irresponsible policy, and cheap gimmicks that might get politicians through the next election, but won’t lead America toward the next generation of renewable energy. And now we’re paying the price. Now we’ve fallen behind the rest of the world. Now we’re forced to beg Saudi Arabi ...

Nov 13, 2009
Mike...and please don't say Spike. I am getting a new puppy (Boston terrier) that is 3 months old. His name is Mike, a name I really don't like, so I am trying to figure out a cute name that sounds similar. Thanks for any suggestions ...

Dec 07, 2009
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 3. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 4. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 5. Inoculatte: To take coffe intravenously when you are running late. 6. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness 7. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. 8. Karmageddon: It's like ...