Not the first time he's told a "joke"

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist. Here's what happened: Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse? Coroner: No. Attorney: Did you listen to the heart? Coroner: No. Attorney: Did you check for breathing? Coroner: No. Attorney: So when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you? Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on m ...

I work my butt off for practically pennies and our congress plays hooky? Basically they work 2-1/2 days a week? FIRE THEM ALL, DANG IT!!!!! THEY SUCK AT THEIR JOBS!!!! If you call it a job. Shows a picture of inside congress and guess what? NOT ONE PERSON AT WORK! Congress building empty and usually on Thursdays too. How much do they get paid to work 2-1/2 days a week. They do not even listen to the PEOPLE. Congress Plays Hooky on Fridays Despite ...

http://web.archive.org/web/20040627142700/eastandard.net/headlines/news26060403.htm ...

They have lowered the bar again. I am now officially an independent. ...

Haven't seen anything new here in awhile. Thought this was a funny joke. This is a story which is perfectly logical to all Engineers A wife asks her engineer husband, "Could you please go shopping for me And buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6." A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had eggs." ...

A wild-eyed woman walked into a crowded bar in downtown Washington, District of Columbia, waving an unholstered pistol and yelled out, “I have a .45 caliber Colt 1911, with a seven-round magazine, plus one in the chamber. I want to know who has been sleeping with my husband?” A female voice from the back of the room called out, “You need more ammo, Hillary!” ...

Good ol' United Corporations of America!! ...

What's the difference between a lawyer and a sperm? A sperm has one chance in a million of becoming a human being. ...

Today we had a break for jokes, etc. I thought this was kind of funny: Two young boys were whiling an afternoon away walking through a cemetery and reading the headstones out loud. One boy stopped at a headstone and read: "Here lies a lawyer and an honest man." The other boy answered: "There must be two men buried there." ...

A woman in a hot air balloon realised she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.She descended a little more and shouted: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."''You must be an Engineer", said th ...

Eric's closed door meeting with journalists - Washington Post reports "they are allowed to say that the Justice Dept supports press freedom." If this isn't a joke, it ought to be. ...

Hamas is attacking. Israel is defending. Russia is invading. Boko Haram is massacring. ISIS is marching. Iran and N. Korea are threatening. American cities are crumbling. The southern border of the USA has dissolved. America's debt is skyrocketing and Americans are hurting. Our enemies are laughing. Obama is fundraising. Please take it easy on Obama, it's his first job! ...

Every one of them has serious flaws, either of character, personality, world view, experience, or philosophy - and in most cases more than one of these - that I simply cannot stomach. In my experience, it's always a choice between the lesser of two evils, but this election cycle seems to have brought out a spectacularly miserable collection of candidates. And yes, Sanders and Trump supporters, I mean them too - or perhaps especially them too. It looks like I'll be sitting on my ...

Santa had his reindeer. They were: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet Cupid Donner Bliltzen. But very few know about that ninth reindeer and it's not Rudolph. I will give you a hint that in this line: All of the other reindeerUsed to laugh and call him names I will put the answer after I post this. ...

that is there is a dime's difference between Republican and Democrats. And you know who is laughing? Those in power who read these silly boards and see: Obama this, Bush that, Democrats this, Repubs that. If you stop and think how LITTLE things change from one administration to the next you will begin to have a clue: The system is designed to support the status quo: American as imperialist (foreign policy). Middle class paying for lower and upper classes. Of course there a ...

and he stands a very good chance of being the Republican candidate! In Tempe, the Republican presidential hopeful told an audience that he wants to “repeal Obamacare” and replace it with some kind of “consumer-driven” system – a popular phrase among GOP politicians, which no doubt polled well in focus groups. Bush then explained his vision for his new Apple Watch fits into his health care vision: “On this device in five years will be applications that will allow me to manage ...

How one administration could do so much damage in the world in such a short span of time, I would not have believed it. If there is anyone out there now who doesn't believe that the US has a role in shaping and maintaining the world order, they are hiding their head in the sand. I hope that the next president of the United States understands our role in the world and with God's help can restore some sanity to the world... ...

I guess it is not a joke as I sit here looking out my window. My area of Maine is expected to get 8-14 inches of snow with wind gusts between 35-50 mph today. It is a wet and heavy snow so it is sticking to everything and does look nice, but not on April 1st. It will not last long and will melt quickly, but it does not give you the spring fever you should be feeling this time of year. I want to hear the birds chirping and see the trees budding - does not look too pro ...

My boyfriend's cousin called me his "goody two shoes" girlfriend when he first met me and now he gets embarassed every time I mention it, so as a joke to him I want to make him a goody-two-shoes costume for my halloween party. All I can think to do is take a poster board, put elastic on the back, make arm holes, and glue candy and shoes to the front of it, and write goody two-shoes on it. Does anyone have a better idea??? ...

Despite doomsday warnings from the White House and lawmakers on both sides that hundreds of thousands would lose their jobs as a result of the sequester, it turns out the budget cuts have only led to one job being lost among 23 federal agencies. Now Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Okla., is demanding answers as to why the Obama administration repeatedly warned taxpayers that the $85.3 billion in spending cuts, which went into effect in March 2013, would threaten hundreds of thousands of jobs. The findings w ...

God Told Him Toby digbyEveryone who reads tristero's posts knows about Mike Huckabee's record of bad judgment in pardoning criminally insane prisoners. And we all know that he did at least one of them based upon loony wingnut radio conspiracy theories and others because he personally knew the fellas.But I think it's important to emphasize why he did most of them. Here's Gene Lyons: During the former Baptist minister's decade as Arkansas governor, it appeared that no m ...

This has been obvious for MONTHS, but now finally the "dirty word" has been uttered in mainstream media. (I and a few others have been posting it this board for weeks.) We are in a DEPRESSION, not a RECESSION. The dead giveaway is the MONEY SUPPLY, and if you follow economics then you know that the M3 data have not been reported by our wonderful "fed" (actually a private corporation) since 2006. M3 is MONEY SUPPLY. Ask yourself WHY they would start withholding this crucia ...

you that he wanted to fundamentally change you, would you think he loved you? Case closed. ...

that Obama would negotiate a deal that he acknowledges would fund terroris, you would have called me a conspiracy theorist. Link ...

Good job Mr. Obama. It is clear who you care grades your performance as a president and it certainly is not us Americans. Anyone hear Woods' dad on Hannity? What a true hero. Obama could learn something from this man. ...

I would be very, very, very angry. I am angry for the women who work for Hobby Lobby and any other corporation who would presume to have control over my body. I am already stressed out enough as it is with trying to make near perfect mega lines per hour at minimum wage and dealing with no work available, inconsistent QA policies, lack of time off, and demands for overtime. I cannot believe that 5 old men have that power to discriminate against women, and now my employer has that&nb ...

Not the first time he's told a "joke"

That WAS kind of sad to watch/hear - -

I guess you are tired of satire. - no message

To quote a poster from a previous thread - re. satire

Well no wonder you didn't get it... - Fairminded

That was about as funny as shovel ready jobs. - Hahaha - not

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