A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

past experience

Posted: Jun 6, 2011

Anyone ever have a person in their past that they miss and can't get out of their heads; you just wish they would somehow walk back into your life just to be near them again if only for a moment to feel what you used to feel? Does that sound pathetic? If you tell someone this they tell you to let it go, but you really don't want to - you just want to hold on.;

Dreaming - TL

[ In Reply To ..]
Some of this is probably just dreaming on, hoping. If there's no reality that this could happen and produce a positive outcome, it's kind of just living in la-la land. I'm not unsympathetic, just trying to bring you down to earth.

YES! - Silly Girl

[ In Reply To ..]
Was completely and utterly in love with someone 16 years ago. We dated 2 years and then circumstances in life took us in different directions with no hard feelings. Fast forward to last month when I got a divorce and guess who is back in my life?! I am still as much in love with him now as I was 16 years go. We talk daily (throughout the day) and see each other several times a week. It's like we never lost any time while we were apart and I can't imagine him not in my life anymore.

Don't rush from one relationship to the other - sm -

[ In Reply To ..]
especially since you just got divorced due to your cheating husband. People change especially after 16 years, though I hope for you for the better. Just don't make an quick decisions and get with your ex for all the wrong reasons (hurt ego from the divorce and stroking of the ego from his desire for you). Like they say when someone dies don't make any serious decisions for a year, I think the same applies to an unexpected divorce and heart break.

No. I don't dwell in the past. - Move forward.

[ In Reply To ..]
You can hold onto the past if you want to but that means you are missing the present. I know lots of people who live in the past, holding grudges or wishing away the present, but I don't think that is very healthy.

Yes. - It's a long story...

[ In Reply To ..]
For me that guy was my first sex partner. We met on a train when I had just turned 16. He was 2 years older, out of high school and taking a year off before going to college. My mother was not thrilled about this and tried her best to discourage the relationship, especially because he had an apartment, was a bit of a flirt and had "experience" with more than a few girls.

Despite this he was always respectful of my virginity and treated me well. That, combined with having an apartment and a roommate who was dating my best friend, proved to be a lethal combination. They threw a lot of weekend parties, but he also took me out to eat, to the movies, beach, pool, etc. He was a good dancer, taught me how to dance all different styles, including "dirty" partner dancing. We had great fun and had an exclusive relationship for almost 2 years.

He never pressured me about sex. That decision was mine when it finally happened. I got pregnant immediately (after only one time). Abortion was illegal and not an option, so I graduated from high school 4 months pregnant and went directly into an "unwed mother's home" and had a son 5 months later. He was not allowed to see me during that time and the decision to place my baby up for adoption was made without his input and against my will by my mother.

He moved back to Colorado and went to school. Over the next 10 years or so I saw him a few times, once when he was stationed in San Diego on his way to Viet Nam, another time when he came to visit friends in the city where I was living. I was married to someone else, though before he left for Viet Nam, I came very close to having an affair with him.

We lost touch after that for nearly 30 years. Because we had a child together, it was impossible to forget him...ever. As time passed, I always remembered him fondly and was tormented by the "what might have been" aspects of a relationship that ended unnaturally and not of our choosing. I came to believe that had we been allowed to make our own decisions, he would have married me and we would have raised our son and other children and that we would have been very happy together.

One day I was fooling around on the computer and typed his name into the Google search bar. To my amazement, the results that returned informed me that he was a practicing psychologist in town and was living less than 10 miles from my house. After a few weeks, my curiosity got the best of me. I told my husband of 20+ years I had located him and wanted to call him. He gave his consent.

I called him up and we met several times for lunch. He looked the same as he always had, the way I remembered him, and is still dancing after 40+ years (!) but those were the only two things that had not changed. We talked openly and honestly about the intervening 30 years and I told him how I felt about what might have been. It was then I learned that after he returned from Viet Nam, he had become a full blown alcoholic and went through 15 years of drug addiction. His practice was centered around addiction recovery and he had never married. He told me had he been given the choice, he would have been married and kept our son, but he was convinced that it would not have prevented his alcoholism and drug addiction and that he probably would have ended up "ruining my life." After a few encounters and many hours of conversation, I realized he was right. Some things just weren't meant to be. We parted ways, this time for good.

I regret having seen him again and would have much preferred preserving the mystery of that secret longing I had for him all those years. But something much more meaningful came from this experience that I could have never anticipated. My husband's unselfish (and risky) gesture of allowing me to seek the closure he knew I had needed all those years made me fall in love with him all over again. We are closer now than we ever have been before and I strive to try my best to keep the romance in my life where it belongs...alive and kickin' between my husband and myself.

M.I.A. - SS

[ In Reply To ..]
Maybe what you are really missing, rather than this person or the feelings, is the lack of closure?

past experience - missing

[ In Reply To ..]
To most above - I actually did have closure and e-mail contact with past person but cannot let go. My "now" experience is great but past still lingers. I cannot let go and I have tried.

Good Grief. - SS

[ In Reply To ..]
If ruminating about this person is not negatively impacting your life and if it's comforting to you, then give yourself permission to hold on to the emotional memory, because this battle of head vs. heart (I need to let go VS. I want to hold on) isn't working for you right now. Everyone needs to grieve closure in their own way and in their own time.

Not anymore though I had two boyfriends -sm -

[ In Reply To ..]
I, as they say now, I "hooked up with " again about 4-5 years after we had dated and broken up. We had never had sex when we were dating (I was a very young 16 with one and 16/17 with the other) and it was something I had always wanted to do with these 2 particular guys. I went into the "dates" with my eyes totally open though with #2 I would have liked to rekindle things (first guy to break my heart) but he was still the same jerk it seems (broke up with me to date another girl when I was 16, even wanted me to talk to her and "sell" him to her....so on our "rekindle", after our "date" and on a 2nd date, he told me he wondered if my best friend would date him as he really liked her, what an idiot, and no my friend never did date him, she knew how crazy I had been about him 6 years earlier and was not about do to that, also there was the fact he was a grade A jerk too). #1 guy was just a whore basically, he slept with anyone he could get into bed (I figured that out pretty quick when we dated in high school) but he was a fantasy I wanted (he looked like a clone of a famous musician/rocker whose music I still love). I am pretty sure he was cheating with me that night we went out but I did not really care, I knew he played around, though I like to think while we dated he didn't. He made quite the effort to date me as we lived 20 miles apart, different states, and when you are 16/17 that seems like 2000 miles. One of my best friends still runs into him from time to time, says he still looks exactly the same. If I ever run into him I doubt he will remember me, but he did have a distinctive nickname for me so who knows, but I would never seek him out or jeopordize my marriage. So, short answer, no I do not dwell on things. I sewed my oats and had my closure. All the rest I could care less about.

yes, funny it comes up, this day of the anniversary of his death. - s/m

[ In Reply To ..]
I think anyone who cared about another strongly, always will. And I believe it, in serveral different ways, is natural nostalgia. Has nothing to do with not letting go. It's your history and will always be part of you floating around and sometimes to the surface.

past experience to yes, funny it comes up... - missing

[ In Reply To ..]
You are the first person who actually got it I think. Thank you for the empathy - everyone else seemed to be bashing me and they don't know the exact situation. A person can become a part of you, in your soul if you would, and remain with you forever. The rest of you, go ahead and make fun, conversation is over.

I really dont get this. - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Bashing you? Making fun of you? How? I thought each one of them gave thoughtful, personal responses in an effort to help you by sharing their own similar life experiences, each one with different outcomes. This dismissive, almost hostile reply tells me there is a lot more going on with you than confusion over letting go.

Bash - Wool

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm so glad you posted. My feelings were hurt, too. I really hope Missing does not change her alias...so I can avoid walking into that passive-aggressive snare again.

Well put. Me too. - nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

DREAMS OF THE EVERYDAY HOUSEWIFE - OAF

[ In Reply To ..]
I think most people do - but don't like to admit it. There is always "the one who got away" or "what might have been". Also I think since we are pretty much "shut ins" in this job we tend to do it. Just my 2 cents worth. I know I do and some of those dreams are pretty darn hot!!

Similar Messages:

Jan 24, 2011
He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow, guided me into his room and quietly shut the door. We were alone. He approached soundlessly from behind and spoke in a soft voice: "Just relax." Without warning, he reached down and soon I felt his strong hands start at my ankles, gently probing, moving steadily upward along my calves. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, yet somehow I just didn't care. His touch was experienced and sure. As his hands moved up my thig ...

May 28, 2015
After ten years of having the Wound Care Clinic at the place I work for being my primary account, last week they just disappeared. I wouldn't have had any warning except that in the body of one report a few weeks ago one of the docs told the patient that they were switching over to EMR. I know it sounds like nothing, but I have typed for these four physicians for Ten Years, almost exclusively! I know they don't know that only one person was doing their transcription, ...

Oct 23, 2015
Last month, someone charged 300+ in nutrition products to my charge card exactly ten days before it expired, then a few minutes later tried it again. The card company noticed it and texted me. I told them that I did not make the charges, so they charged the first one back to the nutrition products seller and declined approval on the second one, and cancelled the card. The online seller, a fitness company, has now submitted their evidence. They claim I bought it and they shippe ...

Sep 09, 2011
Although I'm making a pretty decent income between my full-time and part-time IC jobs, I'm looking to not only make a bit of extra money but also just to have something fun (and a bit more social) to do on the side. Without naming names (which I believe is against board rules here), I'm checking into two Swavorski crystal independent distiributorship opportunities. I can't name names, but I believe someone on this forum posted a few months ago about repping for one of ...

Jan 20, 2010
Have hooked up with a dietician at my doctor's office, want to get some weight off and feel that is the best way to do. She wants me to do some exercise and have heard of Curves. Anyone else go there? ...

Jul 04, 2012
I got interested in this after hearing a radio show about fermented foods and the recipe seemed simple, cabbage, salt, let it sit out for 4 weeks or so and there you have it. My cabbage has been sitting out for a couple of weeks now and is actually sort of looking like the sauerkraut you get in the cans. Has anyone ever made this, eaten it and lived to tell the tale? Thanks and happy 4th! ...

Jul 21, 2012
I recently said on another board I was glad I did not have any friends because no one can say do it for the kids. Well, when I talk about my anxiety and depression, I get very sick and tired of people saying it is because I do not have enough faith. Believe me, I do. Or I did anyway. I have asked to be filled with the holy spirit. I have begged for a miracle. Not sure what else to do, but it is CHEMICAL. Has nothing to do with faith. Off soapbox ...

Nov 22, 2016
I am looking at filing bankruptcy soon and am looking for any insight anyone can give me. I'm not sure I will even be able to file as I have no assets. I don't own a house or a car. I just have massive credit card dept. Years ago I made almost 70,000 a year. Now I'm barely making one-third of that. Most of my credit card dept is groceries, through over a year ago I purchased a washer and drier, and had a ramp put on the front of the house I live ...

Apr 28, 2011
The left keeps saying the right won't let it go but all I see on this board is the left continually bringing it up. I think we admitted that we were wrong. So can we get to discussing important things now. So tired of the childish na na na boo boo crap from both sides. I don't care if you think Obama won this round or Trump did....old news...let's move on, shall we? ...

Dec 25, 2011
My mother, age 92, with dementia, just passed away. My estranged brother coerced her behind my back, to leave her retirement condo near me to move in with him. I am the executrix of her willl, and everything was to be divided equally between my brother and me. I just found out that he's taken most of her money and put it into a couple POD (pay on death) accounts in his name. She has a couple small accounts that amount to maybe $67k. The estate is wort ...

Oct 27, 2010
My daughter has a 7-week old. She is breast-feeding and all is going well. She is a special ed administrator/teacher and will have to go back to work in December. There will also be 2 short overnight trips for work. She wants to continue the breast milk by pumping and have the nanny give the baby the bottle of breast milk. The problem is, the baby absolutely refuses a bottle. She wants the breast or nothing. It is truly a fight a ...

Mar 17, 2010
My 11 YOS is really struggling this year (5th grade). I know it's late in the school year, but I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with Sylvan or Huntington Learning Centers. I've tried desperately to work with his teacher, but am getting nowhere fast. He has ADD, which she is fully aware of, and he is on medication, but he is still struggling. I'm considering one of these facilities and would like any info anyone has about either one of these centers...thanks! ...

Jun 28, 2011
I recently discovered that some old money I have had for decades is actually worth something. Most of it is US silver coins, but I have some old foreign money both coin and banknotes that are selling on EBay for thousands times their face value. I know there is a difference between what a coin dealer will give you and what the money retails for, but I really can't invest the time in putting them up for auction myself. But, I don't want to give them away.&nb ...

Jun 27, 2012
We have a male stray we want to get neutered. Has anyone ever worked with a stray cat and get this done for them? Here is our situation (I am the poster below that asked about searching for movers). So, our situation is we are going to be moving to a location four hours from us. We have a stray male cat we have been caring for for the last 3 or 4 years. He depends on us for food and a warm place to sleep at nights. He eats here 2 times a day (sometimes more) a ...

Sep 02, 2013
I'm not thinking about taking them because I don't have good reactions to meds but I am definitely curious. ...

Mar 31, 2014
I am considering this. Does anyone have any comments regarding experience, suggestions, satisfaction, or ideas as to cost? Thanks. (I typically sit in the dentist's chair and literally tremble). I want to do this, but I am terrified. ...

Nov 27, 2015
Has anyone had experience with the passage that goes something like this, "I will restore the years of the locust many times over." That is not the exact phrase, but I am not good with exact ones, just the gist of them. I have waited decades for that one and I have given up. ...

Jan 10, 2016
Bernie has sponsored 775 bills, co-sponsored 5,386. He holds a record for Amendments. That's why he is dubbed "The Amendment King." One bill he sponsored with Republicans was the $16 Billion VA Health Care Bill which was co-sponsored by Jeff Miller (R). This was a massive bill to improve VA health care and one of the largest bills to make it through a broken Republican-led Congress. Bernie was the former chairman of the Veteran's Affairs Committee, currently the ranking minority membe ...

Nov 06, 2012
HAPPY ELECTION DAY EVERY ONE! RR2012 WOOT! ...

Mar 09, 2011
My eyes are blurry from looking at so many websites on home loans. I'm trying to find the best loan as a single mother with one child making low 40,000's a year in salary. TIA for any help/experience you can provide. ...

Mar 08, 2011
My mom has dementia. She knows all of her children and some of the grandchildren. She is going to a new nursing home today, which is going to really throw her off. Conversations are difficult. She talks a lot but much of it is delusional or just does not make sense. She cries easily. She gets angry and screams and yells easily. she often thinks some one is going to come "hurt her." We have pages of instructions and advice on this and one of the biggest ...

Jan 03, 2011
x ...

Apr 16, 2010
ABOUT THE WRITER Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald. Colonoscopy Journal: I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the col ...

Apr 04, 2011
No degree, little experience pay off big http://www.jsonline.com/watchdog/noquarter/119159584.html April 3, 2011 Just in his mid-20s, Brian Deschane has no college degree, very little management experience and two drunken-driving convictions. Yet he has landed an $81,500-per-year job in Gov. Scott Walker's administration overseeing environmental and regulatory matters and dozens of employees at the Department of Commerce. Even though Walker says the state is broke and public ...

Jun 23, 2012
With the summer weather in my "neck of the woods," my feet and ankles have been swollen and yesterday I was put on atenolol, which the doc said would help with my blood pressure and the swelling. About an hour after I took the first dose, my heart started to have a "fluttery" (for lack of a better word) feeling. This lasted for several hours (even through a nap), but finally completely subsided about 6 hours after I took the first dose. I have OCD and really hate going to the doctor, and ...

Nov 14, 2013
I'm sort of, kind of, maybe, possibly considering signing up with an online dating website like Christian Mingle or Plenty of Fish. Do any of you have experience with either of these? Divorced 6 years (from 2nd husband), I'm finally feeling ready to share my heart again with a nice man. Since I'm 50% the reason for both divorces, I know that I'm far from perfect...but I feel like I've learned to spot a man who will end being a verbal abuser. I hop ...

Jul 07, 2015
As so many of us discuss on this board, I have a lot of difficulty staying alert/fully awake when sitting for so long when I'm working. I have high blood pressure and taking metoprolol-ER and Losartan/hydrochlorothiazide daily. My BP stays pretty much in the 140/80 range unless I'm worked up about something or haven't had enough really restful sleep. Oh...I also sleep apnea and use a CPAP pressure of 11. Saw my pulmonologist yesterday for sleep apnea rech ...

Aug 02, 2015
Im over 50 and feel like maybe it's time for me. Issues with adult kids, single, emotional. I'll have to pay out of pocket, but I think it might be worth it. I'd appreciate any stories or suggestions. TIA. ...

Sep 20, 2015
She is toast...or maybe just stuck in the toaster to never pop out. She lied her way through the debate, and now this has reappeared. http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2015/09/16/carly-fiorina-hp-sold-millions-dollars-products-iran/ ...

Jun 13, 2016
Would appreciate any knowledge you have about this, options, mechanism, etc. I do not even know enough to ask an intelligent question. ...