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Question for Pet Lovers

Posted: Jul 12, 2010

We just lost our 15 year old cat yesterday. We had to have him put down. My daughters and I are devastated. My husband tells us to go out and get another cat. I'd love to get one and plan on actually getting two kittens in the future. I feel guilty going out so soon as Roscoe was part of our family for so long and I don't want it to look like we're replacing him. For those of you who have lost a pet, how long did you wait to get another one. I'm sure everyone is different so I was looking for different opinions. Thanks.

;

After a beloved pet dies... - OHMT

[ In Reply To ..]
Everybody grieves differently, some will never get another pet, some will wait a week, a month or two and yet others will be ready to accept another member to their household - there is no right answer, you do what is right for you and your daughters. You are not forgetting your beloved cat, indeed you are giving love to another cat/kittens that need it. There are so many cats/kittens in shelters just waiting for homes and I am sure Roscoe would be so pleased to have them enjoy the good life that he had with you. I am sorry for your loss.

For OHMT - Nature

[ In Reply To ..]
What a kind person you are. You said exactly what I was feeling. There is no correct answer or incorrect answer. We are all different and grieve in our own way. Now if we were talking spouse, I would have a different answer. When I left my husband, he had a girlfriend within a couple of weeks, married her, and then divorced, and has had 3 more wives since that divorce (1 even before he was legally divorced). Maybe he forgot that they were people and not animals.

A different view. - shipwecked

[ In Reply To ..]
Do not feel guilty about getting a new cat whenever you want. Your cat loved you, and he would be hurt if you DIDN'T get a new kitten. He'd think, "What was the matter with me that they don't want another cat. Was I that bad a pet?"

Thank you both so much - LinK

[ In Reply To ..]
Thank you both so much. My oldest daughter is actually away until the weekend so we're going to discuss it then. My youngest said she doesn't want another kitten. She's only 7 so it's been a lot harder on her, this is her first real loss. I know there are definitely a lot of kittens out there that need homes.

Sorry to hear about your beloved Roscoe - Sunshine State MT

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm sorry for your loss. I's so damn hard to lose a pet. As far as getting another one, I think that would be up to you and your family when the time is right.

I'm sure that Roscoe would have opened up his house to a new kitten. I don't look at it like you would be replacing Roscoe but adding to what he started. Only you and your family will know when to get a new addition.

Sorry for your loss.

Thank you Sunshine MT and Christine - LinK

[ In Reply To ..]
I really appreciate your posts. I think that once my daughter gets home on Saturday we'll start our search for the pefect kitties. Even though I'll always miss and love Roscoe, I can't imagine my house without at least one cat.

Filling the void - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
I think by reading your posts that you are the kind of person who will need to open your home to another animal. It feels now like there is a void nothing can fill. The pain of the loss is like no other. But on the other side of the coin is the joy of knowing and loving them, and providing a wonderful life for them. I know in time you will feel better. You will never forget Roscoe. He is in your heart forever. God bless you.

So very sorry - Christine

[ In Reply To ..]
First let me say I actually feel your pain. I have bee through this now 5 times. I know the feeling of "guilt" you are having. It is normal. When our female Scottish Terrier had to be put down due to cancer at age 7 I vowed I would never, ever be able to show affection toward another dog. Maggie was the apple of my eye and we bonded from day one. She was so totally spoiled, and the thought of "betraying" her was so painful for me. Then we heard of a woman with a soon to be litter of West Highland White Terriers and the rest is history. You can love dozens of animals, just differently. The Westie helped me heal after Maggie's death. We got our Westie when she was 8 weeks old. You will know when the time is right. Your Roscoe would want you to be as good to another as you were to him. By the way, our beloved Westie died in 2003, and our present dog (a Chihuahua/Fox Terrier mix) helped me love again. I cherish the memories of each and every one.

We lost our beloved boxer a few weeks ago... - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
and if it were up to me, we'd have a puppy already. Of course no puppy could ever replace Wedge, but a new puppy could take our minds off of the loss until it doesn't hurt so much. Unfortunately for me and the kids (and even more unfortunate for my husband), Wedge was my husband's dog and he is deployed, so we will wait until he returns to pick out our new addition.

So sorry Kendra - LinK

[ In Reply To ..]
I'm sorry to hear about your dog. It's always so awful when someone loses a pet. It's nice to know that other people feel like I do. Now if you talked to my father-in-law he'd think I was crazy. He's not a pet lover at all.

It is losing a family member and I am sorry for you loss, as well - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
My dad really doesn't get it either, but he is supportive of my fragility.

Boxers - OHMT

[ In Reply To ..]
Kendra, I am so sorry about Wedge going to the Rainbow Bridge. I have had boxers all my life, they are loving clowns and each and every loss is just devastating. Hugs to you and your family.

Thank you! - Kendra

[ In Reply To ..]
We were at least lucky enough to have rescued a wonderful female boxer from a bad situation just a few months ago, with whom my 3-year-old son has quickly bonded. At least she has made the loss a little easier on him.

For closure, check it out - shipwecked

[ In Reply To ..]
I've lost many beloved dogs in the past, and will again. I've found that is a wonderful website to visit. They have a Monday night candle-light service, where you can add your pet's name to the list,and s/he will be remembered by thousands all over the world who are lighting candles - the service is at 10p (eastern).

website - what does it happen to be

[ In Reply To ..]
something about a "bridge?"

Rainbow bridge - shipwecked

[ In Reply To ..]
Here's the story of the Rainbow Bridge.

http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

Losing pets - Carnac

[ In Reply To ..]
I had to put down my 13-year-old dog in 2006. When I got home, I immediately thew out everything, her bed, leash, I only saved one toy which I put up. It hurt the worst for me the first 3 days and I cried constantly. Especially the first day I had to go back to work at home, she had sat there for 10 years right at my feet for 8 hours a day, I could not work that day.

That was 4 years ago. Now when I look at her last picture, I realize how old she was. When we have a pet that many years, you get used to it and can only see objectively how old they really were once you get through your grief.

Now I look at pictures of her when she was young and healthy and they make me smile.

It took me about 2 years to get another dog. I hate to wait some time. For some its best to get another pet right away, but I chose to wait until the right one found me. Sorry for you and your daughter's loss. Cry all day if you need to and don't worry about it. That is what I did for 3 days.

correction - Carnac

[ In Reply To ..]
That's had to wait some time, not hated to.

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