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Need feedback, am I bitter and being stupid?

Posted: Apr 3, 2011

I really need some feedback. I just don't know what to do. I've been a member of an organization of a cause near and dear to my heart (hackney ponies) for about 15 years. I became more involved in it about 6 years ago becoming a director and about 3 years designed their website and maintain it. When the prior secretary decided to resign, she approached me about being the secretary which I wanted to do because I have a lot of ideas to help the organization. Well before the election I get a call from the president at the time telling me I didn't have enough experience to be the secretary and that an older member's daughter wanted to be the secretary and that's who they were going to have do it. This person knows nothing about the workings of the organization and is always saying "this is all new to me". Anyway I tried to deal with it last year and was able to, but lately she has become more and more difficult to work with. I cannot get her to send me any information that needs to be put on the website. I initiated a new item on the website where memberships could be paid online and I just could not get her to cooperate with me or even respond to my emails. As an aside she works for a huge corporation and uses her work email address as contact info for the organization which I think is wrong and I told her I didn't feel comfortable sending passwords, etc. to a corporate email address. Now she just basically ignores me or brushes me off except for superficial chitchat. I'm apparently though not only one who has had difficulty with her, she's just a difficult person to work with and seems to be on a power trip. I seem to have the support of the now president and some other members who tell me to hang in there, but this has caused a lot of stress for me and now I don't want to have anything to do with this organization that I used to enjoy so much. Am I overreacting? Is it me? Am I just bitter? Should I just walk away? This is starting to spill over into my hobby which is showing ponies and makes me just want to quit everything. Sorry for the length. Thanks for listening.

;

Why not use your expertise and your - passion for the cause

[ In Reply To ..]
to start your own organization to benefit hackney ponies. Since others are also dissatisfied with this person, it is likely you would be able to attract their participation. If it's your organization, you can run it the way you think it should be run. People like the one you describe ruin things for everyone. If the original organization sees their core supporters leaving because of her, it might make them see that she needs to go. If not, then you woould have your own organization free of the problem person.

I understand what you are going through. I went through a similar... - ndmt

[ In Reply To ..]
situation at our church. I was the secretary there up until a new minister came and his wife wanted the secretary position. I stood my ground, but she got the job, and I don't go to that church anymore. While many people supported me saying they believed it wasn't fair, I just could not find a place there that didn't make me feel bitter. To me, church is the last place you should have a chip on your shoulder, right?

In any case, what if you are bitter? You have a right to feel the way you do. If you are not having any enjoyment in this organization anymore, maybe you just need to let everyone else know you are backing away for a while. There's no need to hang in there if it's making you miserable, and maybe someone else dealing with her and finding it impossible will be the impetus for some change.

Good luck!

Thanks for your replies. sm - CrispyCritterMT

[ In Reply To ..]
Think I am going to back off and for one thing not go to anymore meetings. I'll only put on the website what is sent to me (which is nothing-let people complain) and not volunteer for anything anymore. Just not worth it.

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