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Car situation


Posted: Oct 31, 2011

Okay, I have an issue here. My mom come into some money a few months ago. She knew how I LOVED VW Beetles, so she took me to pick out a nice used one, and I did. I got a red 2010 VW Beetle. The one stipulation she had was my husband could not drive the car unless I was with him. He doesn't take care of his truck and so she said he wasn't allowed to drive it without me in the car. Well, today he came home and said I don't have any gas in my truck so I'm gonna have to take your car to work tomorrow. Well, I said I can give you money to get as in the morning. He said I'm not leaving early enough to stop for gas so I'm taking your car. I said well you're gonna have to leave early enough. He said nope you go get the gas if you want to but I'm not. I said I'm working here. So I told my mom the situation and she said oh no he is not taking that car to work. She said he has his own pickup and I bought that car for YOU. He will have to stop and get gas on his way to work. So I told him and he says if I can't take your car then I'm not going to work. So I said whatever but you can't take it. He said well if I can't drive it you need to give it back. I said no it was a gift to me. You have a truck. I didn't have a car at all until my mom bought this one so you will have to take your truck to work. It seems he is just wanting his way. I think he is acting stupid myself. I mean just stop and get some gas. What's the big deal? If you don't pay for a car then you can't say yes I AM gonna drive it. He drives it with me with him but he is one who will tear up a vehicle if you don't watch so he's not one to turn loose in your car. So I understand where my mom is coming from. What is your opinion on this?;

your married - he owns half the car, gift or not

[ In Reply To ..]
Why would you marry someone like that?

First of all, what a baby! He cant get up early? What is the matter with him.

Then he acts like a 2-year-old and pouts and wont go to work unless you give him the car?

You have some serious issues with this big baby and if he doesn't get up early to get his own gas, I would take my new car and computer to my moms house for a few days. If he does not change, then stay there, but watch out, he might fight for half the value of that car in a divorce. Leave him the couch... maybe he will forget bout it.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

Well the car is in my mother's name... - blondie

[ In Reply To ..]
It's in her name so actually it is hers. I am just free to drive it and use it as I wish. She put it in her name for that reason. So that he could never stake any claim to it. She said you drive it as your own, but legally it is hers and the insurance is in her name and policy by her choice with me as a driver but not him. She even bought the tag. She said legally this is my car but you can drive it as you would your own. She has really had her fill of him if you can't tell. He's a big baby who wants his way all the time.

Umm, legally it is her car, not yours not matter - sm - INKMT

[ In Reply To ..]
she tells you. It is in her name, her insurance, her registration, you are just an allowed driver on her policy is all. I presume she thinks you two will divorce and he would try to get your car, or any assets you may have? My DH can be very moronic too at times but not as stupidly idiotic and stubborn as yours it seems. I presume he is staying home today, and will keep doing so until you go and fill his truck up with gas (if he is that nuts that is)....will he lose his job on the principle that he be allowed to use "your" car when he wants/"needs" to in his eyes? If he cannot see the point that he destroys cars and you want to keep this one nice then he is not too bright. I hope he is not that way with everything, your home, appliances, tools, etc. I'd just tell him he was no driving it period and if was going to be that foolish then he can walk to work or call someone for a ride, etc. Good luck.
When you receive a gift, you should be ready - married
[ In Reply To ..]
to accept the consequences of receiving it. It sounds like your special benefits from your mother may be interfering with your marriage. While it is a nice gesture on your mother's behalf, it would be nicer if there were no stipulations attached. Otherwise, it isn't really a gift, is it? Sometimes I think people (even...no--especially parents) use gifts and special priveleges to maintain some type of control over their children's lives even after they become adults. That is a gift I would not want. I'm not saying that the way your husband is handling the situation is right, but that is between you and him. Marriage is hard enough as it is without adding controversy that isn't necessary. How would you feel, if his mother bought an extravagant gift for him and then placed a rule on the use of it stating that you in no way should benefit from it? Maybe it is childish, but maybe it's his way of telling you that he doesn't appreciate being treated that way. Men can be funny in how they try to express themselves for sure!But at the same time...when little girls or little boys refuse to grow up and live their own lives and choose their own priorities, it spells disaster for a lasting, fulfilling marriage.
I totally agree with the above response. - also married
[ In Reply To ..]
Why are you allowing your mother to play games with your marriage? How would you feel if his mother bought him a car or a home with the stipulation that you not drive the car or live in the home? You need to put your husband first before your mother or anyone else. He just might start treating you better and be a better husband. I know that the better I treat my husband the more I receive in return. Tell your mother to butt out!
Agree with both of the above posts!! - ERMT
[ In Reply To ..]
My first question when I read the OP was "How old is this couple?"

The car - Mgc

[ In Reply To ..]
I was in a similar situation several years ago in that my dad bought a car for me. He didn't say my now ex-husband couldn't drive it; that was my rule. He acted like a baby, too. Your mom bought the car for you and you accepted it under her stipulations, and there must be a good reason for that. Stick to your guns, I did. Did I mention this big baby is now my ex-husband?

The car ISN'T the issue... - watched it all before

[ In Reply To ..]
As well-intentioned as your mother may have been, it is still interference in your home. Your husband is going a backwards way toward doing it, but he is demanding that you choose him over your mother..and he is RIGHT. A post further down describes herself as divorced from a "big baby" I believe she said...I watched my son and his wife go down this exact same path and he took her choosing her mother in situation after situation, and yes, he acted like a big baby, too. Her mother spent money, bought elaborate gifts (car, storage building, furniture, etc.) and then demanded control over all of it and when my son voiced his opinion, guess who was bluntly told it wasn't bought for him and he had no say-so?

You are either married to your husband or still mommy's little girl. Childish though he may be acting, he is asking you to choose him.

My "big baby" son is currently divorced now, too.

This is about more than a car honey. Wise up.

Putting your mother o

Question for Blondie - mother of bride

[ In Reply To ..]
Why are you allowing your mother to dictate the rules in your marriage? Why does she have a say in your relationship? My daughter is getting married soon, and I cannot imagine telling my daughter what her husband can and cannot do. Think about it and work on your marriage. Maybe you will end up with a man instead of a boy.

Thanks for all the replies... - blondie

[ In Reply To ..]
Many different views. I've enjoyed reading them all. Thanks for the responses. He seems to have totally forgotten about it all. He came home today happy as a lark. He is easily sidetracked. I do have some things to think about though. Thanks again.

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