A Breaking Heart

My stepfather and I lost our beloved Tiny, a Chihuahua/Terrier mix on Sunday.  She was diagnosed with Cushing's about three years ago, and since then has had a few bouts of severe pancreatitis where we thought we would lose her.  Saturday evening she could not keep her supper down after about 1 1/2 hours, then Sunday morning he gave her a soft boiled egg, which she again lost about 1 hour later.  When he arrived home from church she vomited a small amount again.

We  took her to the emergency animal clinic, thinking they would give her IV hydration, pain meds, treat the pancreatitis, and we would bring her home the next day.  An hour after we got home they called with her lab results.  It turns out her kidneys were failing, the pancreatitis was worse than the doctor thought, and her pancreas had a hazy appearance on x-ray.  Her blood sugar was over 600, adding diabetes to the mix.  She asked what we wanted to do, tellling us even after 3-4 days of aggressive treatment her prognosis would still be very poor.  My stepfather gave the word to put her down, which was to be done shortly.

All I have done since Sunday afternoon is cry.  I loved her more than anything.  Today I am having the awful feeling that we deserted her, or just dropped her off to die.  I was certain she would perk up and come home to us like before.  She would have been 13 on July 10.  I am just sick about losing her.   I just want to be with her now.

Thank you for listening.

RIP my precious darling.