A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

Going to a wake tonight. Need opinions on sympathy card etiquette.

Posted: Nov 5, 2009

We're going to a wake tonight for a friend who died unexpectedly. He leaves behind his wife and two small children.

I was thinking of writing out a check to include in the card but everything I've read lately says this is a no-no. I know his wife doesn't make much so I'd really like to help out any way I can but I don't want to offend anybody.

I was wondering what others normally do with sympathy cards at a wake.

Thanks.

;

I would definitely offer some money, have done it before - L

[ In Reply To ..]
several times to help out because I knew the family needed. I don't do the check route but usually give cash. I think that is a nice gesture.

never heard of this practice, but what about - Snow Bunny

[ In Reply To ..]
getting a gift certificate to a supermarket or a clothing store for young children. The donation is more "gift specific," which is sort of the equivalent to actually buying someone a birthday present rather than giving money.

We have always put - MT4ever

[ In Reply To ..]
cash in a sympathy card and taken it with us to the wake or funeral home visitation practice. I believe it's a very common practice (at least it is in this area).

I'm sure she would appreciate any help - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
they can get, especially since you say she has children, doesn't make much money, and funerals are expensive. I know I would appreciate it.

I have never, ever heard of putting money in a sympathy card - Stella-JRG

[ In Reply To ..]
Not saying it's wrong, just saying I never heard of doing it. What part of the country is anyone from that does this? I'm from PA. Very curious.

money - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
I live in Ky. Money in sympathy cards is fairly common here.

I live in KY and I have never heard of it here. - NM

[ In Reply To ..]
x

Money in cards - Lynn

[ In Reply To ..]
Living in Atlanta, done here and also in Tennessee. Know people in Florida who have done. Nice gesture for those in need.

Iowans do it all the time around here - nm - MT4ever

[ In Reply To ..]
x

It's also a common practice in NC. nm - lilolme

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

Another from PA - Yep

[ In Reply To ..]
Back in 1984, about half of the cards we received for my dad had checks in them. This was in the Phila area. Similar to another poster, my dad was ill for a while and the money helped immensely, although I was really perplexed at first, being only 21 and not being the know-it-all I am now. : )

When my dad died back in 1983, my mom really needed cash. - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Of course, everything was tied up for a while, and even if it weren't, my parents never made much money. My father had suffered a long illness and we were strapped. He had a huge funeral and it seemed like the entire county showed up at the viewing. (This was in NJ.) Nearly every sympathy card and Mass card had cash in it, and it was most welcome. At the time, we had never heard of anyone doing that, but our father's long illness and our finances were no secret to anyone. It was so appreciated. I think that if you feel the money would be a help at this time, you should go ahead and give it to the widow of your friend.

I do it this way sm - Gem

[ In Reply To ..]
Not familiar with others practices. I usually go to the wake and/or funeral. I snail mail a card and I think including a gift card would be appropriate if you are on the fence about cash. If the family is comfortable and doesn't need it, I may donate to St. Jude's Children's Hospital or send flowers. Sounds like this one would call for a gift card, i.e., AMEX or a grocery chain, etc., how nice of you to be so thoughtful. I never received money in any cards so I don't know about that at a wake. Never did it or saw it done at a wake but I am usually not looking.

Similar Messages:

Apr 06, 2010
I met a guy a year ago right after I separated from my husband & dated him a few times - he really liked me, but I decided I wasn't ready to get serious with anyone. Fast forward to a year later. We have reconnected and have been talking on the phone and texting. He is very nice and intelligent and attractive to me in many ways. EXCEPT over the course of this year he has gotten a pretty good sized cavity on one of his top canine teeth. He has a good job... I ...

Aug 20, 2013
My son's best friend is at our house quite a bit, along with other kids, we have kind of an open door policy with the kids friends. The BFF of my son, this kid has zero etiquette and I'm not sure if I should say something to him or if that would make him feel bad or embarass him. He is an only child, being raised by his grandparents and they do tend to spoil him. At my house, like this weekend, I had a pack of 10 hotdogs that I cooked for 5 kids that were over. ...

Jul 01, 2013
Just wondering what you ladies (or guys) thought about this. My two kids generally have company over A LOT. I have always had a policy that if I buy for one, I buy for all (meaning treats and such) while they are over at my house. Well, my son has a friend, the boy is 13 and about a year ago his mom walked out, left the dad to raise him and since that time the dad has really spoiled the boy probably because of the situation or whatever. When the boy's mom left, he st ...

Oct 22, 2013
ARGH!!!! Lady sitting next to me was QUITE LARGE. She occupied all of her seat and a portion of mine. when that happens, they ought to have to buy 2 seats to accommodate their large body habitus. while waiting in line for bathroom, 2 ladies cut in line in front of me. Yes, I did confront them and asked them to go to the end of the line and wait like the rest of us. to which they replied "well everyone else is doing it." I replied that "no, in fact, you are the onl ...

Aug 29, 2010
When dining out at a restaurant like Red Lobster, Macaroni Grill, Carrabas, etc., where they give you a basket of bread on the table with the meal and will refill at request, is it acceptable or unacceptable to request an extra loaf to go with your doggie bag? ...

Nov 06, 2010
My daughter was invited to a birthday party for twins. Each girl was allowed to invite two friends to the party. So my daughter was invited by one of the twins. My question is this, am I obligated to get both girls a present or just the one that invited her? ...

Jan 29, 2015
My friend is having her second baby and she decided that I should throw her baby shower this time. I said sure and I suggested a diaper shower since this is her second baby in a relatively short period of time (2 years) and she has found out she is having the same sex, so in my mind at least, she already has all the "stuff." She seemed very offended by this, so fine I decided to call it a baby shower and let people decide on their own. Now my friend has taken to checking in wit ...

Feb 09, 2011
What happened to good ole talent? Sure don't like the new American Idol. They really need to leave out the sob stories and crocodile tears Oh, poor me, I had a hard life, I was in an accident, I had a horrid disease, someone picked on me, waah, waah, waah. ...

Mar 24, 2010
“The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenrycapable of entrusting a man like him with the presidency.It will be easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obamapresidency than to restore the necessary common senseand good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to havesuch a man for their president. The problem is much deeperand far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptomof what ails us. Blaming the prince of the fools should notblind anyone to the vast confedera ...

Aug 10, 2016
Dr. John Coleman's talk on the Committee of 300. Did you know that every U.S. Secretary of State since 1919 has been appointed out of London? (Royal Institute for International Affairs) Dr. Coleman reveals this and other facts. A lot of good info is also in the Ring of Power video in the "GOOD STUFF" post below. ...

Oct 30, 2013
Media Research Center President Brent Bozell reacts: “Barack Obama lied to the American people – repeatedly and with a straight face – every time he insisted that those who like their current healthcare could keep it under Obamacare. And he’ll keep lying to the American people because the liberal media refuse to hold him accountable. “NBC News, whose own reporter found the language in Obamacare proving Obama knowingly lied to the people for over three years, gave this bombshell r ...

Feb 17, 2017
I won’t do all the info on this group but here’s some that will blow your mind on the History of OFA and I bolded the last paragraph.____________________________________________The formation of Organizing For Action (OFA) was announced on January 18, 2013 by First Lady Michelle Obama and OFA national chairman Jim Messina, who had served as President Barack Obama's 2012 campaign manager. Housed inside the Washington headquarters of the Nati ...

Jun 28, 2016
I don't think he's overly fond of Hillary. http://www.commondreams.org/news/2016/06/28/wake-democrats-warns-sanders-populist-unrest-cannot-be-ignored ...

Jun 07, 2011
Doctor: Trying to break up a dog fight. She was bit by a boxer. VR: She was bit by Dr. Boxer. This one actually made me lol. ...

Jun 08, 2011
Doctor: Please refer to trauma flow sheet and trauma admission note dated **/**/** for additional information. VR: Please refer to trauma flow sheet and trauma admission note dated **/**/** for additional irritation. ...

Mar 30, 2012
...

Sep 10, 2013
. ...

Jan 08, 2017
Under ACA, premiums skyrocketed, pushed millions onto Medicaid which now is causing a deficiency in that program besides the $700 billion (or was it million) they took from Medicare to bolster the start of ACA. Insurance companies are dropping out and those that are staying in the program are cutting coverage. It's collapsing and those who love it can't see it happening.The Republicans are going to repeal ACA...in fact, they have already started the process BUT they are goin ...

Jul 28, 2017
This is from his own You Tube acct! ...

Oct 20, 2009
Just FYI there is going to be a meteor shower tonight with an estimated peak time of 6 am for ET and 3 am for PT. "The Orionid meteor shower is expected to put on a good show tonight into the predawn hours Wednesday, weather permitting. This annual meteor shower is created when Earth passes through trails of comet debris left in space long ago by Halley's Comet. The "shooting stars" develop when bits typically no larger than a pea , and mostly sand-grain-sized, vaporize in Ear ...

Nov 23, 2009
Just had my monthly Beck dose. He was agreeing that conservatives were creative and growers while progressives (communists, really, he said) are oppressing all the poor people!!!! Beck has got some money-making scheme where his loyal followers can go to a movie theatre and watch his LATEST installment of redemption via the Christmas sweater book he is milking for all its worth. In the preview, he looks just like an evangelist standing there in the spotlight. The interviewee mentione ...

Nov 26, 2009
. ...

Sep 08, 2011
I missed it... what'd ya'll think? Anything new or the same BS politico rhetoric? ...

Sep 08, 2011
My fellow Americans.....this isn't my fault. I inherited this from Bush. Although I'm well into my first term, this still isn't my fault. Now congress is to blame. I want to spend...I'm sorry...I mean...invest money in public sector jobs because the unions contribute to my campaign and I want to make sure that I support union jobs while making things harder in the private sector. Republicans are evil. The rich...even though I'm rich... ...

Sep 01, 2011
The first part of "Day of Destruction, Decade of War" airs on Thurs., Sept. 1 at 9 PM ET. The second and third parts air on Fri., Sept. 2 from 9-11 PM. MSNBC. It is by Richard Engel and Dr. Rachel Maddow. Richard Engel has won the George Foster Peabody Award, an Edward R. Murrow Award, and the Society of Professional Journalism Award. It should be good. ...

Aug 11, 2011
9 p.m. on Fox. For anyone that watches, I'd be interested on opinions afterwards. ...

Nov 26, 2010
3 cups prepared stuffing 2 3/4 ounces French fried onions (Durkee) 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of celery soup 3/4 cup milk 1 1/2 cups cubed cooked turkey 1 (10 ounce) package frozen green peas, thawed Directions Combine stuffing and 1/2 can onions. Spoon stuffing mixture into a 9 inch shallow baking dish or pie pan. Press stuffing across bottom and up sides of dish to form a shell. Combine undiluted soup, milk, turkey, and peas; pour into stuffing shell. Bake, covered, at 3 ...

Nov 17, 2010
This show just keeps getting funnier. Whole show tonight non-stop laughter ... and, oh, how I need a good laugh these days. Especially, what about Gloria with that bee-bee gun ? !! HA !!!! ...

Mar 22, 2010
Now that they got what they wanted, the progressives have disappeared. You'd think they'd be gloating all night long. Or is their "job" here finished? Very strange.... ...

Sep 07, 2010
I just came upstairs after watching America's Got Talent tonight. In the years the show has been on I don't think there has ever been this level of talent. I divided my votes between Michael Grimm and Prince Poppycock, who put on an unbelievable performance. The judges are correct; this is impossible. I felt so bad for Anna, who fell down the stairs at the very beginning of their dance. She pulled it together to complete a fantastic performance. ...