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A little update on my situation described below...

Posted: Jul 24, 2016

My son called me today to disinvite me to dinner at their house this evening. He said his GF was still upset and felt like he didn't defend her. He told me he was trying to be neutral, but she took as he was on my side and now they've been fighting. So now I'm banned until she "cools off." All because I said he was too young for a vasectomy. I also said she was too young to get her tubes tied, but whatever! When I expressed concern about being able to see my granddaughter, he told me they would never keep me from seeing her. So we'll see.

I think I'm expected to apologize, but I don't feel I did anything wrong. I expressed my opinion in a very loving and diplomatic way. She posted her opinion on facebook and I simply responded in a friendly manner... She took it to another level when she referred to my son as "your little boy..." That was meant to rile me, but I didn't take the bait. I stayed composed. Oh well. My son told me loved me and wasn't mad. He did tell me that he was upset with her for posting on FB that he was getting fixed and that's why she felt he was on my side.

I'm just going to give a few days and maybe text her, I don't know. I just don't want my son to be upset. He kept telling me how sorry he was and I felt really bad for him. I hate that I put him in the middle like that. Being a mother of a grown man is just so freaking complicated! LOL

;

If you do want to continue seeing your grandchild(ren) - you will need to

[ In Reply To ..]
do a better job in the future of not "loving" or any any other way expressing your opinion. You have said yourself that you don't see these two together long term. If you are disinvited to dinner after this "little" thing, imagine what it is going to be like when/if they do split.

When my daughter and husband were together, there was a lot I let roll off me because I >knew< they would not last long term.

In the end, do you want to be right (without seeing the grandkids) or happy (with seeing the grandkids) ??

I know you're right. I'm just really saddened by the fact - AngryMT

[ In Reply To ..]
that I feel like I've lost my son. I know he has to be on "her side" because they live together. I also know that I have to accept that she's staking her claim and I've lost mine.

It's just a difficult pill to swallow, but I'll swallow it nonetheless because I love my son and I love my granddaughter.

I hate people who use kids - As pawns in emotional blackmail

[ In Reply To ..]
Parents decide who should be in their kid's life, and generally grandparents/aunts/uncles are happy and eager to show kids that they are loved, valued, and important. When life is busy sometimes relatives don't get to see the kids as much as they might want to, but that's how it is. But to keep a grandparent from a kid as a power move is wrong and selfish.

Let them - live their life

[ In Reply To ..]
and voice your opinion/advice only when asked. If your son is screwing up his life (according to you), it is his choice being an adult and he will suffer and thereafter recover (that is life). Find something else to spend your time on. You are not going to beat/overrule a woman he is going to bed with.

So my son just called me because he has a toothache! - AngryMT

[ In Reply To ..]
So apparently he needs mommy's advice about dentists and help with payment, but not on whether or not he should have a vasectomy!

Talk about mixed signals...

oh wow, bless his pea-pickin' heart :( - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Wonder if he asked his baby-momma about it? Probably not - because he knows she doesn't know jack squat about it!

I feel for you :(

Hopefully your son will wake up soon and figure things out before he goes and has any more babies with this gal of his, and/or before he has that vasectomy she thinks your "little boy" should have.

Um - see msg

[ In Reply To ..]
So, you're helping him pay the dental bill? If you are helping him with that payment, then you can't be surprised at his immaturity. Mommy, you treat him like a child, so...

You need to step back here. Obviously, if you want to see your grandchildren you have to stay on their good side, but that doesn't mean paying his bills.

Paying a grown person's bills, then wondering why they're immature is kind of...something.

FYI, you are his MOM not his MOMMY.

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